Perceived threat of paedophiles

storm2811 · 23-07-2010 03:12AM

BluesBerry wrote: »

Except for Brontes post tonight Its rare that you hear of children being molested in public bathrooms I know they would be safe enough its just not molesters im thinking either of Ive seen plenty of drug addicts in McDonalds toilets and your sending a child into a toilet not knowing who is in there I just err on the side of caution

Ah yes,I forgot about things like that,I've encountered any junkies/sketchy people in public bathrooms before but I'm sure it does happen alright.

I don't know really,I was very free as a child and I'm sure there were just as much paedos back then,it's just been popularised by the media that they're everywhere waiting to strike.

Can you even take photos of your child's communion anymore?

Dave! · 23-07-2010 04:01AM

Most paedophiles either know the child (family friend, step-parent), or else they're related to them.

So the fear of a paedophile cruising along and grabbing children into their ice-cream van is a little misguided.

Pdfile · 23-07-2010 05:07AM

CrazyRabbit wrote: »

I've recently taken part in a discussion about what age kids should be allowed to use public toilets on their own. There was suggestions of up to age 11 !! It seems at least some parents are convinced that there child is at a high risk of being targeted by a paedophile.

So it got me thinking about how most people perceive the risks, and how that matches up to the real risks. Have we become a society obsessed with media-hyped risks that are in fact minuscule, or do we really live in a world where there is a paedophile in every dark corner?

As a percentage of the population, how many paedophiles do you think there are in any given country?

Do you think they lurk around restrooms/changing rooms to 'take a peek' at kids or abduct them?

How brazen do you think they would be? Would they openly approach kids in changing areas/toilets etc, or are they more subtle and shadowy?

we're not threats...

we just dont like challenges.

AudreyHepburn · 23-07-2010 09:55AM

I think you have to be vigilant but you can't wrap children in cotton wool either, that does them no favours. If they are lead to believe there are no dangers or that they are only safe when Mammy or Daddy is there they'll never be able to grow properly.

Since most paedophiles/child molesters are known to the child, I think worrying about them in bathrooms is probably not necessary. I for one have never heard of a child being attacked in a bathroom.

On a slightly different note some-one mention bringing you boys into the girls toilet. I have to say there is a certain point after which I think this is wrong and unfair to the boy. I can't imagine most pre-pubescent boys would be comfortable in a girls toilet. Plus I don't think I've heard of a little girl being brought to the mens with Daddy so why should a little boy have to use the women's with Mammy?

I realise sometimes it might be necessery but I do feel that if at all possible you should try to find a male friend/relative or some-one you consider trustworthy to bring him to the mens toilets.

Also in relation to the posts re the church....can we please not go down that road for once. I realise some people will use any excuse to bash the church and that given the topic it was probably the first thing on a lot of people's mids but it is not the only place these people are found and not every member of the clergy is a paedophile/child molester so can we please just not go there.

TwoShedsJackson · 23-07-2010 09:59AM

Read Risk

This is a great book and discusses at considerable length how people perceive risk and why, plus the actual risk of encountering paedophiles etc. Quoting from memory but the figure for children abducted and murdered by paedophiles each year in the USA was around 30, while 600 or so drowned in swimming pools.

AnonoBoy · 23-07-2010 09:59AM

Public toilets?

Did ye not go before we left like I told ye to? :rolleyes:

AnonoBoy · 23-07-2010 10:00AM

TwoShedsJackson wrote: »

but the figure for children abducted and murdered by paedophiles each year in the USA was around 30, while 600 or so drowned in swimming pools.

And funnily enough more kids go to the toilet in swimming pools than in public toilets. Perhaps there's a link there too.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 23-07-2010 10:05AM

CrazyRabbit wrote: »

I've recently taken part in a discussion about what age kids should be allowed to use public toilets on their own. There was suggestions of up to age 11 !! It seems at least some parents are convinced that there child is at a high risk of being targeted by a paedophile.

So it got me thinking about how most people perceive the risks, and how that matches up to the real risks. Have we become a society obsessed with media-hyped risks that are in fact minuscule, or do we really live in a world where there is a paedophile in every dark corner?

As a percentage of the population, how many paedophiles do you think there are in any given country?

Do you think they lurk around restrooms/changing rooms to 'take a peek' at kids or abduct them?

How brazen do you think they would be? Would they openly approach kids in changing areas/toilets etc, or are they more subtle and shadowy?

Rad this. Was especially shocked by the the bit about telling him to come in and go out without even washing his hands, when he finally was allowed to go on in his own.

Much as I respect the poster in question, that is just ridiculous. Poor child will never grow up.

In Berlin, I've seen eight and nine year old kids coming home on the U-Bahn on their own. And yet, I don't think Berlin has any fewer paedophiles per capita than Ireland.

AnonoBoy · 23-07-2010 10:09AM

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

In Berlin, I've seen eight and nine year old kids coming home on the U-Bahn on their own. And yet, I don't think Berlin has any fewer paedophiles per capita than Ireland.

Ah sure we're getting progressive like that in Ireland too. I spotted a 1 year old riding the LUAS by himself just last week.

Royale with Cheese · 23-07-2010 10:10AM

ElaElaElano wrote: »

On a similarish topic, I was on the bus recently and there was a girl with her son who was about 2 or 3. He kept waving and making faces at me, so I gave him a wave back...yer one had a fit, 'stop starin at me fúckin son you pervert'

Shît like that isn't on. I would have told her to go fuçk herself, and then blown the kid a kiss.

Birneybau · 23-07-2010 10:46AM

Pdfile wrote: »

no, im not steven Seagal, i just listened when my daddy said " back down and they'll press the offencive, a scars a scab, slaggings last longer "

the only time i did back down ive yet to live it down and being 6'2 and an adverage build you'd think im mike tyson...

but i dont need to be, you wouldn't believe the amount of 1-3 punch knockouts i handed down and to tbh ive been handed myself, theirs two sides to a coin as we all know, i prefare the shiney side.

my best mates a big fat rubgy head, the typical biggest guy in the room, every hard mans target and he Always backs down not outha manners, but he just simpley doesn't like fighting and Cannot go out without someone calling him a varitiy of names; all degrading - i refuse to have my life like that.

i only wish i got into that MMA/UFC craic before it got ruined by all the wannabe's ( you know the type... 8-10 lessons, taking onthe world... finish the career they never even had on a 0-1 basis )

BOT: im out most fridays and saturdays and though towns Alot quieter then it used to be, theirs still the odd fight.

im happy enough to sit back and watch as boys tear the heads off each other for whatever reason ( and girls for that matter.... Meeeeeeeow ) and its not even the fact that it well and throughly makes you look like an eejit, but that a fair few people a carrying shanks and all sorts of weaponry, let alone glass bottles and such.

ive always been a strong believer in the Straightener way of life....

if two people are gonna fight, let them have at it, but even that can neevr happen as one sides mates get involved, then the others then its all holy murder, which is the sadest part, everyone goes out to have a good time, not to have lumps kicked outha ya by some angry gardi cause you disroupted his 2 hour lunch break at the station.

@MrStuffins to answer your question once and for all - no im not steven seagal, but im a part of a dying bread. Im a man.

Be careful of this one..

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 23-07-2010 10:50AM

Birneybau wrote: »

Be careful of this one..

Wrong thread...?

Mr Benevolent · 23-07-2010 10:53AM

With regard to the OP's question, the threat is real enough but is in general perpetrated by relatives and not randomers on the street. Various reports of attempted abductions are nonsense generated by paranoid parents.

23-07-2010 11:17AM

Captain Morgan wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

It has been totally blown out of proportion. It's pathetic. There have always been paedophiles, we just hear about it all the time now. Statistically, there's a MUCH bigger chance of a child being abused by someone known to them. I think it's ridiculous that a man can't even look at a child now without people thinking he'd a paedophile. My bf is really good with kids and is training to be a primary teacher, if a kid looks at him he'll smile back or say hello like a normal person would and you should see some of the looks he gets. I often get dirty looks as well for the same thing and I'm a perfectly respectable looking woman. I don't know if they think I want to steal their child or something. People are mental.

bossa_nova · 23-07-2010 11:18AM

grizzly wrote: »

From what I read in the papers it's not that high a figure: only about 10-15% of Irish adults are pedophiles.

only??, that seems pretty high to me , its like saying that 1 out of every 10 adult is a pedophile

AnonoBoy · 23-07-2010 11:22AM

bossa_nova wrote: »

only??, that seems pretty high to me , its like saying that 1 out of every 10 adult is a pedophile

I think he might have been making what we in the industry refer to as 'a funny'.

23-07-2010 11:32AM

bossa_nova wrote: »

only??, that seems pretty high to me , its like saying that 1 out of every 10 adult is a pedophile

Oh right... So that's what 10% means?

BeardyGit · 23-07-2010 11:38AM

OutlawPete wrote: »

99% of reports of child abuse that I have read about, tended to be perpetrated by someone known to the family, or indeed - a family member.

Does that mean 99% of ophans don't have to worry about paedophiles?

That's pretty reassuring for little Annie and Oliver if your numbers stack up.

SV · 23-07-2010 11:40AM

Birneybau wrote: »

Be careful of this one..

yeah, if it's not telling us of his abilities on the internet he might start making internet threats next.

please don't hurt us Pdfile

:(:(

Fittle · 23-07-2010 11:47AM

See I read that thread about the public toilets and boys (it's on the parenting thread) and I'm with the OP on it.

I'm a mother who parents alone and am always in supermarkets/restaurants with just myself and my son (8). Apart from the possible threat of a paedo in the mens loo, I'd also prefer he didn't see adult men going to the loo at urinals! He hasn't ever seen an adult male use the loo (his dad is not involved) and I'd prefer if the first time he saw this, wasn't in my local tesco public toilet.

Call it over-protective parenting if you'd like/call it an irish mammy-ism - but as the mother of a boy who's just turned 8, (like he was 7 a few weeks ago), I'd rather he didn't see it.

I don't think it's scare mongering - women who won't let their boys use public loos alone up to 10/11. Paedophiles don't always attack or take photos. They can just BE in public loos, getting off on seeing young boys using the toilet. So I'll be bringing my lad to the ladies with me, for a little while longer.....;)

kylith · 23-07-2010 11:57AM

Fittle wrote: »

See I read that thread about the public toilets and boys (it's on the parenting thread) and I'm with the OP on it.

I'm a mother who parents alone and am always in supermarkets/restaurants with just myself and my son (8). Apart from the possible threat of a paedo in the mens loo, I'd also prefer he didn't see adult men going to the loo at urinals! He hasn't ever seen an adult male use the loo (his dad is not involved) and I'd prefer if the first time he saw this, wasn't in my local tesco public toilet.

Call it over-protective parenting if you'd like/call it an irish mammy-ism - but as the mother of a boy who's just turned 8, (like he was 7 a few weeks ago), I'd rather he didn't see it.

I don't think it's scare mongering - women who won't let their boys use public loos alone up to 10/11. Paedophiles don't always attack or take photos. They can just BE in public loos, getting off on seeing young boys using the toilet. So I'll be bringing my lad to the ladies with me, for a little while longer.....;)

That's just mad. Are you looking forward to him having a freak out when he starts growing pubic hair cos he doesn't know it's normal? Bringing an 8 year old boy into the ladies toilets is just plain weird.

I worked in a gym a while back and some bloke started kicking up a fuss about his sons seeing naked men in the men's changing room. We just laughed at him. We'd also get women bringing 12 and 13 year old boys into the women's changing rooms. That's both weird and creepy.

derfderf · 23-07-2010 12:00PM

Doesn't some airline ban lone adult males from sitting beside children on flights?
Think there was a story a few weeks ago about a fella bein made move because he happened to be sitting beside a young boy.
I mean most people have the sense these days not to try smoking on a plane, i can't picture there ever being an upsurge of mile high fiddling.
It's a plane, not the catholic boat.

Quazzie · 23-07-2010 12:03PM

The biggest hurdle for pedofiles is that all the kids today are so self conscious and are all on diets so its harder to get them to take the sweets.

pickarooney · 23-07-2010 12:05PM

Fittle wrote: »

He hasn't ever seen an adult male use the loo (his dad is not involved) and I'd prefer if the first time he saw this, wasn't in my local tesco public toilet.

Do you make him sit down to piss or what?

23-07-2010 12:05PM

derfderf wrote: »

Doesn't some airline ban lone adult males from sitting beside children on flights?
Think there was a story a few weeks ago about a fella bein made move because he happened to be sitting beside a young boy.
I mean most people have the sense these days not to try smoking on a plane, i can't picture there ever being an upsurge of mile high fiddling.
It's a plane, not the catholic boat.

"Some airline" being British Airways. Jaysus whats wrong with them ffs. I'd be hugely insulted if I were asked to move for that. Then again, I hate sitting next to kids on flights. Oh the ambivalence.

KittyeeTrix · 23-07-2010 12:06PM

Quazzie wrote: »

The biggest hurdle for pedofiles is that all the kids today are so self conscious and are all on diets so its harder to get them to take the sweets.

:D
Only in AH - brilliant

Fittle · 23-07-2010 12:26PM

pickarooney wrote: »

Do you make him sit down to piss or what?

Eh no.

But how is he supposed to have seen a man go to the loo, when it's only me an him in our house????? Would you like me to ask my brother to show him how men go to the loo or something:rolleyes: Or send him into tesco and say 'There ya go son, have a look at all them men at the urinals..that's what a grown up willy is like....':rolleyes::rolleyes:

kylith · 23-07-2010 12:28PM

Fittle wrote: »

Would you like me to ask my brother to show him how men go to the loo or something

Why wouldn't you? How is he supposed to learn to be a man if his mammy won't let anyone teach him?

prinz · 23-07-2010 12:30PM

Fittle wrote: »

I'm a mother who parents alone and am always in supermarkets/restaurants with just myself and my son (8). Apart from the possible threat of a paedo in the mens loo, I'd also prefer he didn't see adult men going to the loo at urinals! He hasn't ever seen an adult male use the loo (his dad is not involved) and I'd prefer if the first time he saw this, wasn't in my local tesco public toilet.

So when would you prefer his first experience of seeing an adult male urinate to be?

Fittle · 23-07-2010 12:31PM

prinz wrote: »

So when would you prefer his first experience of seeing an adult male urinate to be?

Well it's not something I've thought about as a 'rite of passage' for him.

What would ur advice be????

Should I ask one of my friends husbands to let him have a look????

Perceived threat of paedophiles

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