Perceived threat of paedophiles

CrazyRabbit · 23-07-2010 01:32AM #1

I've recently taken part in a discussion about what age kids should be allowed to use public toilets on their own. There was suggestions of up to age 11 !! It seems at least some parents are convinced that there child is at a high risk of being targeted by a paedophile.

So it got me thinking about how most people perceive the risks, and how that matches up to the real risks. Have we become a society obsessed with media-hyped risks that are in fact minuscule, or do we really live in a world where there is a paedophile in every dark corner?

As a percentage of the population, how many paedophiles do you think there are in any given country?

Do you think they lurk around restrooms/changing rooms to 'take a peek' at kids or abduct them?

How brazen do you think they would be? Would they openly approach kids in changing areas/toilets etc, or are they more subtle and shadowy?

admiralofthefleet · 23-07-2010 01:33AM

in before snyper related comments

Ricardo G · 23-07-2010 01:36AM

There have always been paeodophiles, its just been highlighted more in the last few years. What i dont agree with (and i'm sure most of you will do) is this whole thing about not taking photos etc at events such as birthday parties, school plays etc etc, it has gone too far imo

ElaElaElano · 23-07-2010 01:38AM

On a similarish topic, I was on the bus recently and there was a girl with her son who was about 2 or 3. He kept waving and making faces at me, so I gave him a wave back...yer one had a fit, 'stop starin at me fúckin son you pervert'...now obviously you have to be vigilant and take precautions etc. etc. but there's such a thing as being over-paranoid.

mikom · 23-07-2010 01:38AM

CrazyRabbit wrote: »

Do you think they lurk around restrooms/changing rooms to 'take a peek' at kids or abduct them?

There is that possible downside.

But paedos have positive traits as well....... at least they drive slowly when passing schools.

Hank_Jones · 23-07-2010 01:38AM

I certainly wouldn't let my child go to the toilet in a church.

storm2811 · 23-07-2010 01:42AM

Jesus I'd let my child go to a public toilet as soon as they were able to use it by themselves.
It's not like a paedo would have anywhere to run off to with them and if the child was in there for a long time of course you'd go and check if they're alright.

Anyway I think people have taken this whole paedo threat too far,not being able to take pictures at sports day and stuff,I seen a thread a while ago about how the OP was kicked out of the childrens section of the library just for being in there!

OutlawPete · 23-07-2010 01:43AM

CrazyRabbit wrote: »

How brazen do you think they would be? Would they openly approach kids in changing areas/toilets etc, or are they more subtle and shadowy?

99% of reports of child abuse that I have read about, tended to be perpetrated by someone known to the family, or indeed - a family member.

I would say it the amount of children abused by strangers in toilets is so small on the scale, that it would be almost insignificant.

If people educate their children on sex at an early age and make sure they don't feel ashamed of parts of their body, then if someone adult does do something sexual to them, then chances are they will let you know straight away and so action can be taken to make sure it doesn't occur again.

It is the feelings of shame that abusers used to their advantage for years as kids remained quiet as they knew instinctively that sex was a taboo topic.

Making sure sex is not a taboo topic with children, would go a hell of a lot further in preventing child abuse than instilling any kind of irrational fears of public toilets in society ever will, that's for sure.

admiralofthefleet · 23-07-2010 01:44AM

Hank_Jones wrote: »

I certainly wouldn't let my child go to the toilet in a church.

im a 29 year old adult and i wouldnt go to the toilet in a catholic den

Hank_Jones · 23-07-2010 01:45AM

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

im a 29 year old adult and i wouldnt go to the toilet in a catholic den

How about if they gave you wine?

And church crackers?

zuroph · 23-07-2010 01:46AM

its gone ridiculous. For similar effect, check out the thrread about "attempted abductions" in dublin recently. You can see the chinese whisper form in the thread til there had been about 15 different "attempts" reported. Either we have a bunch of very rubbish child abductors on the loose, or there is no threat. my favourite bit was when someone said their mother had been playing bingo and "someone ran in and said a child had been abducted in Crumlin"... like, when you heard the news you'd think "i better run down and inform the bingo hall ASAP! They'll know what to do!!"

zuroph · 23-07-2010 01:48AM

As for the going to toilets debate, I did a google search to see if there was any reported cases, and came across a similar thread in Australia, where one poster said she would not let her 15 year old son go to a public bathroom on his own :eek:
Parents seriously need to step back and realise the ridiculousness of this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlEcGHxfltE

grizzly · 23-07-2010 01:54AM

From what I read in the papers it's not that high a figure: only about 10-15% of Irish adults are pedophiles.

bronte · 23-07-2010 02:00AM

Gonna copy this from another thread...but this is what happened to me at 13 in a public toilet...dunno what the guy in question was up to but I looked much younger than 13 at the time. Beware.

bronte wrote: »

I think the most frightened ever was when I was 13.
Myself and my family had just landed in Turkey on a family holiday.
I had been dying for a pee on the plane but the pilot had turned on the seatbelt sign, so I had no choice but to wait till I got inside the terminal.
We arrived at the baggage hall and I legged it over to the loo.

It was three in the morning and unfortunately the ladies was closed for cleaning, so everyone was told to use the mens.
I noticed there was a male toilet attendant as I went in...I didn't think anything of it really and went to pee.
As I went to wash my hands I noticed this guy was looking at me weirdly and I got a bit freaked out.

The problems started when I went to leave...basically he blocked me from going out the door. At first I thought it had been a mistake and we'd just accidentally gotten in each others way. I went to step around him and he blocked me again. That's when I totally panicked. I had no idea wtf this guy was up to. I hadn't a hope in hell against him either.
He was getting way too close for comfort , you know like when someone invades your personal space and I just needed to get the hell out of there.
I managed to get halfway around him, but it meant that I'd backed myself into a corner and he was blocking me from running. I was so scared I couldn't even scream.
Luckily for me a bloke from my flight came in to use the bathroom .
He took one look at my face and asked me if I was okay.
I just mumbled yes and legged it out the door. I ran back to my parents and weirdly enough never said a word to them about what happened.
I know my Dad would have gone in there and killed the guy.
I told them years later and they were horrified, but I just couldn't bring myself to tell them at the time. To this day I have never known fear like that.

grizzly · 23-07-2010 02:10AM

bronte wrote: »

Gonna copy this from another thread...but this is what happened to me at 13 in a public toilet...dunno what the guy in question was up to but I looked much younger than 13 at the time. Beware.

That does indeed sound terrifying :eek:

bronte · 23-07-2010 02:14AM

grizzly wrote: »

That does indeed sound terrifying :eek:

It was... if it prevents anyone else going through that , then I'm happy to repost it.

DB10 · 23-07-2010 02:27AM

Maybe Muzzy Izzet wanted to clean the spot on the wall, behind where you were....

BluesBerry · 23-07-2010 02:28AM

bronte wrote: »

Gonna copy this from another thread...but this is what happened to me at 13 in a public toilet...dunno what the guy in question was up to but I looked much younger than 13 at the time. Beware.

That comment has terrified me if kids need to use a public toilet I would always accompany them I even make my 8 year old nephew use the ladies
I know there is not much of a threat but with constant stuff in the media has made me extra cautious

Everywhere you look be it newspapers tv (oprah on tv3 right now about pedophiles) and here on boards has people constantly aware and afraid

At times people can go ott and men cant even be anyway friendly to a child these days with out them being branded a pedo It has been blown all out of porpotion everyone suspicious and paranoid of everyone

There has always been pedophiles its rare that a child is abused by a stranger the majority of the time the abuser is someone a child knows and trusts

Killer Pigeon · 23-07-2010 02:31AM

CrazyRabbit wrote: »

I've recently taken part in a discussion about what age kids should be allowed to use public toilets on their own. There was suggestions of up to age 11 !! It seems at least some parents are convinced that there child is at a high risk of being targeted by a paedophile.

So it got me thinking about how most people perceive the risks, and how that matches up to the real risks. Have we become a society obsessed with media-hyped risks that are in fact minuscule, or do we really live in a world where there is a paedophile in every dark corner?

As a percentage of the population, how many paedophiles do you think there are in any given country?

Do you think they lurk around restrooms/changing rooms to 'take a peek' at kids or abduct them?

How brazen do you think they would be? Would they openly approach kids in changing areas/toilets etc, or are they more subtle and shadowy?

They can lurch in confession boxes sometimes.

mikom · 23-07-2010 02:32AM

BluesBerry wrote: »

At times people can go ott and men cant even be anyway friendly to a child these days with out them being branded a pedo

I pity poor Paul........ what with all the kids wanting to do a poo over at his place.

The_Minister · 23-07-2010 02:32AM

Killer Pigeon wrote: »

They can lurch in confession boxes sometimes.

Only once they are finished lurking.

dan719 · 23-07-2010 02:35AM

ElaElaElano wrote: »

On a similarish topic, I was on the bus recently and there was a girl with her son who was about 2 or 3. He kept waving and making faces at me, so I gave him a wave back...yer one had a fit, 'stop starin at me fúckin son you pervert'...now obviously you have to be vigilant and take precautions etc. etc. but there's such a thing as being over-paranoid.

TBH I think I would have reacted in kind. Or you could have gone the opposite route, and told her "sexy children are what causes paedophilia". *

*May lead to lynch mob.

bronte · 23-07-2010 02:38AM

BluesBerry wrote: »

That comment has terrified me if kids need to use a public toilet I would always accompany them I even make my 8 year old nephew use the ladies

I hate being a scaremonger but you just can't be aware enough.

I can only go on my own experience..and if babysitting I would accompany all visits to the toilet as a result of what happened.

bronte · 23-07-2010 02:46AM

DB10 wrote: »

Maybe Muzzy Izzet wanted to clean the spot on the wall, behind where you were....

He really didn't.
You're going to have to trust me.
I would not joke about something as sick as this.

storm2811 · 23-07-2010 02:47AM

BluesBerry wrote: »

That comment has terrified me if kids need to use a public toilet I would always accompany them I even make my 8 year old nephew use the ladies

Women can be paedophiles aswell though.
I see it as this,if a child is in a public toilet for longer than usual then I assume the parent/guardian would go and see if they're alright,wouldn't they?

Cypher_sounds · 23-07-2010 02:51AM

bronte wrote: »

He really didn't.
You're going to have to trust me.
I would not joke about something as sick as this.

Maybe its a blessing in disguise that you didn't tell your father at the time, because he could have been up for murder that night.

zuroph · 23-07-2010 02:51AM

It is a horrifying experience yes. I would point out how dodgy Turkey is renowned for being though, with females of any age being advised against leaving the specific resort areas.

bronte · 23-07-2010 02:58AM

Cypher_sounds wrote: »

Maybe its a blessing in disguise that you didn't tell your father at the time, because he could have been up for murder that night.

Believe me , he would have.

zuroph wrote: »

It is a horrifying experience yes. I would point out how dodgy Turkey is renowned for being though, with females of any age being advised against leaving the specific resort areas.

It would have been 1997 at the time and tourism was new to Turkey.

Cases of rape etc had a habit of being swept under the carpet so as not to take away from the "Image".

Mimikyu · 23-07-2010 03:00AM

This post has been deleted.

storm2811 · 23-07-2010 03:05AM

Captain Morgan wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

That's madness,I think it happens more with men(I'm not saying all men are paedos or all paedos are men),because whenever I do it the parent usually smiles or laughs too,I've only gotten a dirty look off a parent once and they were pissed off before hand.

BluesBerry · 23-07-2010 03:08AM

storm2811 wrote: »

Women can be paedophiles aswell though.
I see it as this,if a child is in a public toilet for longer than usual then I assume the parent/guardian would go and see if they're alright,wouldn't they?

Of course woman can be too What I was trying to point out all the stuff in the media has everyone paranoid I am one of them listening to the media .when a kid says they need to use the bathroom I will go with them because its a case of if something happened them I wouldnt be able to live with myself etc

Except for Brontes post tonight Its rare that you hear of children being molested in public bathrooms I know they would be safe enough its just not molesters im thinking either of Ive seen plenty of drug addicts in McDonalds toilets and your sending a child into a toilet not knowing who is in there I just err on the side of caution

Perceived threat of paedophiles

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