Perceived threat of paedophiles

CrazyRabbit

I've recently taken part in a discussion about what age kids should be allowed to use public toilets on their own. There was suggestions of up to age 11 !! It seems at least some parents are convinced that there child is at a high risk of being targeted by a paedophile.

So it got me thinking about how most people perceive the risks, and how that matches up to the real risks. Have we become a society obsessed with media-hyped risks that are in fact minuscule, or do we really live in a world where there is a paedophile in every dark corner?

As a percentage of the population, how many paedophiles do you think there are in any given country?

Do you think they lurk around restrooms/changing rooms to 'take a peek' at kids or abduct them?

How brazen do you think they would be? Would they openly approach kids in changing areas/toilets etc, or are they more subtle and shadowy?

admiralofthefleet

in before snyper related comments

Ricardo G

There have always been paeodophiles, its just been highlighted more in the last few years. What i dont agree with (and i'm sure most of you will do) is this whole thing about not taking photos etc at events such as birthday parties, school plays etc etc, it has gone too far imo

ElaElaElano

On a similarish topic, I was on the bus recently and there was a girl with her son who was about 2 or 3. He kept waving and making faces at me, so I gave him a wave back...yer one had a fit, 'stop starin at me fúckin son you pervert'...now obviously you have to be vigilant and take precautions etc. etc. but there's such a thing as being over-paranoid.

mikom

CrazyRabbit wrote: »

Do you think they lurk around restrooms/changing rooms to 'take a peek' at kids or abduct them?

There is that possible downside.

But paedos have positive traits as well....... at least they drive slowly when passing schools.

Hank_Jones

I certainly wouldn't let my child go to the toilet in a church.

storm2811

Jesus I'd let my child go to a public toilet as soon as they were able to use it by themselves.
It's not like a paedo would have anywhere to run off to with them and if the child was in there for a long time of course you'd go and check if they're alright.

Anyway I think people have taken this whole paedo threat too far,not being able to take pictures at sports day and stuff,I seen a thread a while ago about how the OP was kicked out of the childrens section of the library just for being in there!

OutlawPete

CrazyRabbit wrote: »

How brazen do you think they would be? Would they openly approach kids in changing areas/toilets etc, or are they more subtle and shadowy?

99% of reports of child abuse that I have read about, tended to be perpetrated by someone known to the family, or indeed - a family member.

I would say it the amount of children abused by strangers in toilets is so small on the scale, that it would be almost insignificant.

If people educate their children on sex at an early age and make sure they don't feel ashamed of parts of their body, then if someone adult does do something sexual to them, then chances are they will let you know straight away and so action can be taken to make sure it doesn't occur again.

It is the feelings of shame that abusers used to their advantage for years as kids remained quiet as they knew instinctively that sex was a taboo topic.

Making sure sex is not a taboo topic with children, would go a hell of a lot further in preventing child abuse than instilling any kind of irrational fears of public toilets in society ever will, that's for sure.

admiralofthefleet

Hank_Jones wrote: »

I certainly wouldn't let my child go to the toilet in a church.

im a 29 year old adult and i wouldnt go to the toilet in a catholic den

Hank_Jones

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

im a 29 year old adult and i wouldnt go to the toilet in a catholic den

How about if they gave you wine?

And church crackers?

zuroph

its gone ridiculous. For similar effect, check out the thrread about "attempted abductions" in dublin recently. You can see the chinese whisper form in the thread til there had been about 15 different "attempts" reported. Either we have a bunch of very rubbish child abductors on the loose, or there is no threat. my favourite bit was when someone said their mother had been playing bingo and "someone ran in and said a child had been abducted in Crumlin"... like, when you heard the news you'd think "i better run down and inform the bingo hall ASAP! They'll know what to do!!"

zuroph

As for the going to toilets debate, I did a google search to see if there was any reported cases, and came across a similar thread in Australia, where one poster said she would not let her 15 year old son go to a public bathroom on his own :eek:
Parents seriously need to step back and realise the ridiculousness of this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlEcGHxfltE

grizzly

From what I read in the papers it's not that high a figure: only about 10-15% of Irish adults are pedophiles.

bronte

Gonna copy this from another thread...but this is what happened to me at 13 in a public toilet...dunno what the guy in question was up to but I looked much younger than 13 at the time. Beware.

bronte wrote: »

I think the most frightened ever was when I was 13.
Myself and my family had just landed in Turkey on a family holiday.
I had been dying for a pee on the plane but the pilot had turned on the seatbelt sign, so I had no choice but to wait till I got inside the terminal.
We arrived at the baggage hall and I legged it over to the loo.

It was three in the morning and unfortunately the ladies was closed for cleaning, so everyone was told to use the mens.
I noticed there was a male toilet attendant as I went in...I didn't think anything of it really and went to pee.
As I went to wash my hands I noticed this guy was looking at me weirdly and I got a bit freaked out.

The problems started when I went to leave...basically he blocked me from going out the door. At first I thought it had been a mistake and we'd just accidentally gotten in each others way. I went to step around him and he blocked me again. That's when I totally panicked. I had no idea wtf this guy was up to. I hadn't a hope in hell against him either.
He was getting way too close for comfort , you know like when someone invades your personal space and I just needed to get the hell out of there.
I managed to get halfway around him, but it meant that I'd backed myself into a corner and he was blocking me from running. I was so scared I couldn't even scream.
Luckily for me a bloke from my flight came in to use the bathroom .
He took one look at my face and asked me if I was okay.
I just mumbled yes and legged it out the door. I ran back to my parents and weirdly enough never said a word to them about what happened.
I know my Dad would have gone in there and killed the guy.
I told them years later and they were horrified, but I just couldn't bring myself to tell them at the time. To this day I have never known fear like that.

grizzly

bronte wrote: »

Gonna copy this from another thread...but this is what happened to me at 13 in a public toilet...dunno what the guy in question was up to but I looked much younger than 13 at the time. Beware.

That does indeed sound terrifying :eek:

bronte

grizzly wrote: »

That does indeed sound terrifying :eek:

It was... if it prevents anyone else going through that , then I'm happy to repost it.

DB10

Maybe Muzzy Izzet wanted to clean the spot on the wall, behind where you were....

BluesBerry

bronte wrote: »

Gonna copy this from another thread...but this is what happened to me at 13 in a public toilet...dunno what the guy in question was up to but I looked much younger than 13 at the time. Beware.

That comment has terrified me if kids need to use a public toilet I would always accompany them I even make my 8 year old nephew use the ladies
I know there is not much of a threat but with constant stuff in the media has made me extra cautious

Everywhere you look be it newspapers tv (oprah on tv3 right now about pedophiles) and here on boards has people constantly aware and afraid

At times people can go ott and men cant even be anyway friendly to a child these days with out them being branded a pedo It has been blown all out of porpotion everyone suspicious and paranoid of everyone

There has always been pedophiles its rare that a child is abused by a stranger the majority of the time the abuser is someone a child knows and trusts

Killer Pigeon

CrazyRabbit wrote: »

I've recently taken part in a discussion about what age kids should be allowed to use public toilets on their own. There was suggestions of up to age 11 !! It seems at least some parents are convinced that there child is at a high risk of being targeted by a paedophile.

So it got me thinking about how most people perceive the risks, and how that matches up to the real risks. Have we become a society obsessed with media-hyped risks that are in fact minuscule, or do we really live in a world where there is a paedophile in every dark corner?

As a percentage of the population, how many paedophiles do you think there are in any given country?

Do you think they lurk around restrooms/changing rooms to 'take a peek' at kids or abduct them?

How brazen do you think they would be? Would they openly approach kids in changing areas/toilets etc, or are they more subtle and shadowy?

They can lurch in confession boxes sometimes.

mikom

BluesBerry wrote: »

At times people can go ott and men cant even be anyway friendly to a child these days with out them being branded a pedo

I pity poor Paul........ what with all the kids wanting to do a poo over at his place.

The_Minister

Killer Pigeon wrote: »

They can lurch in confession boxes sometimes.

Only once they are finished lurking.

dan719

ElaElaElano wrote: »

On a similarish topic, I was on the bus recently and there was a girl with her son who was about 2 or 3. He kept waving and making faces at me, so I gave him a wave back...yer one had a fit, 'stop starin at me fúckin son you pervert'...now obviously you have to be vigilant and take precautions etc. etc. but there's such a thing as being over-paranoid.

TBH I think I would have reacted in kind. Or you could have gone the opposite route, and told her "sexy children are what causes paedophilia". *

*May lead to lynch mob.

bronte

BluesBerry wrote: »

That comment has terrified me if kids need to use a public toilet I would always accompany them I even make my 8 year old nephew use the ladies

I hate being a scaremonger but you just can't be aware enough.

I can only go on my own experience..and if babysitting I would accompany all visits to the toilet as a result of what happened.

bronte

DB10 wrote: »

Maybe Muzzy Izzet wanted to clean the spot on the wall, behind where you were....

He really didn't.
You're going to have to trust me.
I would not joke about something as sick as this.

storm2811

BluesBerry wrote: »

That comment has terrified me if kids need to use a public toilet I would always accompany them I even make my 8 year old nephew use the ladies

Women can be paedophiles aswell though.
I see it as this,if a child is in a public toilet for longer than usual then I assume the parent/guardian would go and see if they're alright,wouldn't they?

Cypher_sounds

bronte wrote: »

He really didn't.
You're going to have to trust me.
I would not joke about something as sick as this.

Maybe its a blessing in disguise that you didn't tell your father at the time, because he could have been up for murder that night.

zuroph

It is a horrifying experience yes. I would point out how dodgy Turkey is renowned for being though, with females of any age being advised against leaving the specific resort areas.

bronte

Cypher_sounds wrote: »

Maybe its a blessing in disguise that you didn't tell your father at the time, because he could have been up for murder that night.

Believe me , he would have.

zuroph wrote: »

It is a horrifying experience yes. I would point out how dodgy Turkey is renowned for being though, with females of any age being advised against leaving the specific resort areas.

It would have been 1997 at the time and tourism was new to Turkey.

Cases of rape etc had a habit of being swept under the carpet so as not to take away from the "Image".

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

storm2811

Captain Morgan wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

That's madness,I think it happens more with men(I'm not saying all men are paedos or all paedos are men),because whenever I do it the parent usually smiles or laughs too,I've only gotten a dirty look off a parent once and they were pissed off before hand.

BluesBerry

storm2811 wrote: »

Women can be paedophiles aswell though.
I see it as this,if a child is in a public toilet for longer than usual then I assume the parent/guardian would go and see if they're alright,wouldn't they?

Of course woman can be too What I was trying to point out all the stuff in the media has everyone paranoid I am one of them listening to the media .when a kid says they need to use the bathroom I will go with them because its a case of if something happened them I wouldnt be able to live with myself etc

Except for Brontes post tonight Its rare that you hear of children being molested in public bathrooms I know they would be safe enough its just not molesters im thinking either of Ive seen plenty of drug addicts in McDonalds toilets and your sending a child into a toilet not knowing who is in there I just err on the side of caution

storm2811

BluesBerry wrote: »

Except for Brontes post tonight Its rare that you hear of children being molested in public bathrooms I know they would be safe enough its just not molesters im thinking either of Ive seen plenty of drug addicts in McDonalds toilets and your sending a child into a toilet not knowing who is in there I just err on the side of caution

Ah yes,I forgot about things like that,I've encountered any junkies/sketchy people in public bathrooms before but I'm sure it does happen alright.

I don't know really,I was very free as a child and I'm sure there were just as much paedos back then,it's just been popularised by the media that they're everywhere waiting to strike.

Can you even take photos of your child's communion anymore?

Dave!

Most paedophiles either know the child (family friend, step-parent), or else they're related to them.

So the fear of a paedophile cruising along and grabbing children into their ice-cream van is a little misguided.

Pdfile

CrazyRabbit wrote: »

I've recently taken part in a discussion about what age kids should be allowed to use public toilets on their own. There was suggestions of up to age 11 !! It seems at least some parents are convinced that there child is at a high risk of being targeted by a paedophile.

So it got me thinking about how most people perceive the risks, and how that matches up to the real risks. Have we become a society obsessed with media-hyped risks that are in fact minuscule, or do we really live in a world where there is a paedophile in every dark corner?

As a percentage of the population, how many paedophiles do you think there are in any given country?

Do you think they lurk around restrooms/changing rooms to 'take a peek' at kids or abduct them?

How brazen do you think they would be? Would they openly approach kids in changing areas/toilets etc, or are they more subtle and shadowy?

we're not threats...

we just dont like challenges.

AudreyHepburn

I think you have to be vigilant but you can't wrap children in cotton wool either, that does them no favours. If they are lead to believe there are no dangers or that they are only safe when Mammy or Daddy is there they'll never be able to grow properly.

Since most paedophiles/child molesters are known to the child, I think worrying about them in bathrooms is probably not necessary. I for one have never heard of a child being attacked in a bathroom.

On a slightly different note some-one mention bringing you boys into the girls toilet. I have to say there is a certain point after which I think this is wrong and unfair to the boy. I can't imagine most pre-pubescent boys would be comfortable in a girls toilet. Plus I don't think I've heard of a little girl being brought to the mens with Daddy so why should a little boy have to use the women's with Mammy?

I realise sometimes it might be necessery but I do feel that if at all possible you should try to find a male friend/relative or some-one you consider trustworthy to bring him to the mens toilets.

Also in relation to the posts re the church....can we please not go down that road for once. I realise some people will use any excuse to bash the church and that given the topic it was probably the first thing on a lot of people's mids but it is not the only place these people are found and not every member of the clergy is a paedophile/child molester so can we please just not go there.

TwoShedsJackson

Read Risk

This is a great book and discusses at considerable length how people perceive risk and why, plus the actual risk of encountering paedophiles etc. Quoting from memory but the figure for children abducted and murdered by paedophiles each year in the USA was around 30, while 600 or so drowned in swimming pools.

AnonoBoy

Public toilets?

Did ye not go before we left like I told ye to? :rolleyes:

AnonoBoy

TwoShedsJackson wrote: »

but the figure for children abducted and murdered by paedophiles each year in the USA was around 30, while 600 or so drowned in swimming pools.

And funnily enough more kids go to the toilet in swimming pools than in public toilets. Perhaps there's a link there too.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

CrazyRabbit wrote: »

I've recently taken part in a discussion about what age kids should be allowed to use public toilets on their own. There was suggestions of up to age 11 !! It seems at least some parents are convinced that there child is at a high risk of being targeted by a paedophile.

So it got me thinking about how most people perceive the risks, and how that matches up to the real risks. Have we become a society obsessed with media-hyped risks that are in fact minuscule, or do we really live in a world where there is a paedophile in every dark corner?

As a percentage of the population, how many paedophiles do you think there are in any given country?

Do you think they lurk around restrooms/changing rooms to 'take a peek' at kids or abduct them?

How brazen do you think they would be? Would they openly approach kids in changing areas/toilets etc, or are they more subtle and shadowy?

Rad this. Was especially shocked by the the bit about telling him to come in and go out without even washing his hands, when he finally was allowed to go on in his own.

Much as I respect the poster in question, that is just ridiculous. Poor child will never grow up.

In Berlin, I've seen eight and nine year old kids coming home on the U-Bahn on their own. And yet, I don't think Berlin has any fewer paedophiles per capita than Ireland.

AnonoBoy

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

In Berlin, I've seen eight and nine year old kids coming home on the U-Bahn on their own. And yet, I don't think Berlin has any fewer paedophiles per capita than Ireland.

Ah sure we're getting progressive like that in Ireland too. I spotted a 1 year old riding the LUAS by himself just last week.

Royale with Cheese

ElaElaElano wrote: »

On a similarish topic, I was on the bus recently and there was a girl with her son who was about 2 or 3. He kept waving and making faces at me, so I gave him a wave back...yer one had a fit, 'stop starin at me fúckin son you pervert'

Shît like that isn't on. I would have told her to go fuçk herself, and then blown the kid a kiss.

Birneybau

Pdfile wrote: »

no, im not steven Seagal, i just listened when my daddy said " back down and they'll press the offencive, a scars a scab, slaggings last longer "

the only time i did back down ive yet to live it down and being 6'2 and an adverage build you'd think im mike tyson...

but i dont need to be, you wouldn't believe the amount of 1-3 punch knockouts i handed down and to tbh ive been handed myself, theirs two sides to a coin as we all know, i prefare the shiney side.

my best mates a big fat rubgy head, the typical biggest guy in the room, every hard mans target and he Always backs down not outha manners, but he just simpley doesn't like fighting and Cannot go out without someone calling him a varitiy of names; all degrading - i refuse to have my life like that.


i only wish i got into that MMA/UFC craic before it got ruined by all the wannabe's ( you know the type... 8-10 lessons, taking onthe world... finish the career they never even had on a 0-1 basis )

BOT: im out most fridays and saturdays and though towns Alot quieter then it used to be, theirs still the odd fight.

im happy enough to sit back and watch as boys tear the heads off each other for whatever reason ( and girls for that matter.... Meeeeeeeow ) and its not even the fact that it well and throughly makes you look like an eejit, but that a fair few people a carrying shanks and all sorts of weaponry, let alone glass bottles and such.


ive always been a strong believer in the Straightener way of life....


if two people are gonna fight, let them have at it, but even that can neevr happen as one sides mates get involved, then the others then its all holy murder, which is the sadest part, everyone goes out to have a good time, not to have lumps kicked outha ya by some angry gardi cause you disroupted his 2 hour lunch break at the station.

@MrStuffins to answer your question once and for all - no im not steven seagal, but im a part of a dying bread. Im a man.

Be careful of this one..

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Birneybau wrote: »

Be careful of this one..

Wrong thread...?

Mr Benevolent

With regard to the OP's question, the threat is real enough but is in general perpetrated by relatives and not randomers on the street. Various reports of attempted abductions are nonsense generated by paranoid parents.

Captain Morgan

Captain Morgan wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

It has been totally blown out of proportion. It's pathetic. There have always been paedophiles, we just hear about it all the time now. Statistically, there's a MUCH bigger chance of a child being abused by someone known to them. I think it's ridiculous that a man can't even look at a child now without people thinking he'd a paedophile. My bf is really good with kids and is training to be a primary teacher, if a kid looks at him he'll smile back or say hello like a normal person would and you should see some of the looks he gets. I often get dirty looks as well for the same thing and I'm a perfectly respectable looking woman. I don't know if they think I want to steal their child or something. People are mental.

bossa_nova

grizzly wrote: »

From what I read in the papers it's not that high a figure: only about 10-15% of Irish adults are pedophiles.

only??, that seems pretty high to me , its like saying that 1 out of every 10 adult is a pedophile

AnonoBoy

bossa_nova wrote: »

only??, that seems pretty high to me , its like saying that 1 out of every 10 adult is a pedophile

I think he might have been making what we in the industry refer to as 'a funny'.

bossa_nova

bossa_nova wrote: »

only??, that seems pretty high to me , its like saying that 1 out of every 10 adult is a pedophile

Oh right... So that's what 10% means?

BeardyGit

OutlawPete wrote: »

99% of reports of child abuse that I have read about, tended to be perpetrated by someone known to the family, or indeed - a family member.

Does that mean 99% of ophans don't have to worry about paedophiles?

That's pretty reassuring for little Annie and Oliver if your numbers stack up.

SV

Birneybau wrote: »

Be careful of this one..

yeah, if it's not telling us of his abilities on the internet he might start making internet threats next.


please don't hurt us Pdfile :(:(

Fittle

See I read that thread about the public toilets and boys (it's on the parenting thread) and I'm with the OP on it.

I'm a mother who parents alone and am always in supermarkets/restaurants with just myself and my son (8). Apart from the possible threat of a paedo in the mens loo, I'd also prefer he didn't see adult men going to the loo at urinals! He hasn't ever seen an adult male use the loo (his dad is not involved) and I'd prefer if the first time he saw this, wasn't in my local tesco public toilet.

Call it over-protective parenting if you'd like/call it an irish mammy-ism - but as the mother of a boy who's just turned 8, (like he was 7 a few weeks ago), I'd rather he didn't see it.

I don't think it's scare mongering - women who won't let their boys use public loos alone up to 10/11. Paedophiles don't always attack or take photos. They can just BE in public loos, getting off on seeing young boys using the toilet. So I'll be bringing my lad to the ladies with me, for a little while longer.....;)