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First Time!

13567…13

Comments

  • #62
    Millicent
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    Bonito wrote: »
    I don't need sex advice :cool:

    K, just don't be radio tuning a lady's nipples and you'll be alright kid!


  • #63
    Gran Hermano
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,330 ✭✭✭Gran Hermano


    Snas wrote: »
    Ya except her father owns and works in the local chemist.

    Well at least ask him for a family discount or to throw in a cock ring or lube for free.


  • #64
    Bonito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭Bonito


    Millicent wrote: »
    On a serious note, if buying them from a pub's jacks,be sure to check the expiration date on the back to be sure they won't go splitting mid coitus. Nothin' kills the mood faster than an "oh shite, now I have to get the morning after pill" dash to the doctor's!
    Also, make sure you're not alergic to the latex in condoms. :pac:

    And another thing;

    DO NOT USE BABY OIL OR VASELINE IF YOU NEED EXTRA LUBRICANT!


  • #65
    Bonito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭Bonito


    Millicent wrote: »
    K, just don't be radio tuning a lady's nipples and you'll be alright kid!
    What if she requests it :p


  • #66
    Millicent
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    Bonito wrote: »
    Also, make sure you're not alergic to the latex in condoms. :pac:

    And another thing;

    DO NOT USE BABY OIL OR VASELINE IF YOU NEED EXTRA LUBRICANT!

    Or Vick's vaporub!


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  • #67
    Snas
    Closed Accounts Posts: 38 ✭Snas


    Ahhh feck how much do vending machine johnnies cost? There's a few sandwich bags in the press could I not just use them?


  • #68
    Millicent
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    Bonito wrote: »
    What if she requests it :p

    She won't. Just trust me on this one!:P


  • #69
    Millicent
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    Snas wrote: »
    Ahhh feck how much do vending machine johnnies cost? There's a few sandwich bags in the press could I not just use them?

    An empty Tayto bag would probably provide better protection.:pac:


  • #70
    Bonito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭Bonito


    Millicent wrote: »
    Or Vick's vaporub!
    Especially that. Or deep heat etc.
    Snas wrote: »
    Ahhh feck how much do vending machine johnnies cost? There's a few sandwich bags in the press could I not just use them?
    About 3-4 euro. Ehhhh it's in the name. Sandwich bag, not cock/dick/todger/willy bag.
    Millicent wrote: »
    She won't. Just trust me on this one!:P
    I'm not convinced. I want an example. A real life one at that.


  • #71
    Bonito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭Bonito


    Millicent wrote: »
    An empty Tayto bag would probably provide better protection.:pac:
    :eek: The corners when it's wrapped up would tear the fanny off her!


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  • #72
    Bolag_the_2nd
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,224 ✭✭✭Bolag_the_2nd


    Millicent wrote: »
    An empty Tayto bag would probably provide better protection.:pac:

    dont forget the rubber elastic band


  • #73
    Snas
    Closed Accounts Posts: 38 ✭Snas


    Bonito wrote: »

    About 3-4 euro. Ehhhh it's in the name. Sandwich bag, not cock/dick/todger/willy bag.

    ....ooook there a few willy bags in the press could I not just use them? :D


  • #74
    Bonito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭Bonito


    Snas wrote: »
    ....ooook there a few willy bags in the press could I not just use them? :D
    Will they fit? :confused:

    http://www.worldcupsupply.com/willy-bags.html


  • #75
    Millicent
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    Bonito wrote: »
    I'm not convinced. I want an example. A real life one at that.

    Fine so. This woman (possible NSFW) will be over to let you test the theory!


  • #76
    Bonito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭Bonito


    Millicent wrote: »
    Fine so. This woman (possible NSFW) will be over to let you test the theory!
    I changed my mind about that example.....


  • #77
    donvito99
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,818 ✭✭✭donvito99


    Millicent wrote: »
    Fine so. This woman (possible NSFW) will be over to let you test the theory!

    Legen....wait for it...dary.


  • #78
    thebillynator
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 855 ✭✭✭thebillynator


    no need for condoms
    " frameborder="0" allowfullscreen>

    :D
    sorry bout bad quality:rolleyes:


  • #79
    Dave_
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 122 ✭✭Dave_


    Strawberry milkshake, take her down a peg.

    Disclaimer: Headbutts are probably a bad idea at this stage.


  • #80
    Bonito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭Bonito


    Dave_ wrote: »
    Strawberry milkshake, take her down a peg.

    Disclaimer: Headbutts are probably a bad idea at this stage.
    What?


  • #81
    RMD
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,662 ✭✭✭RMD


    Watch 2girls1cup, there's 2 girls and no guys so girls must love doing that stuff.

    Give her a Cleveland Steamer.


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  • #82
    enniscorthy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,046 ✭✭✭enniscorthy


    heeheheheh oh hey are you on smotri its free to sign up see you there


  • #83
    fonecrusher1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,856 ✭✭✭fonecrusher1


    Before you start go into the jax & throw on the old inflatable gimp mask or whatever you can find; a welders mask, a helmet or a plastic bag. Its romantic.

    If she shows any sign of not being into it, dump her & dump her quick.


  • #84
    bazza1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,272 ✭✭✭bazza1


    Dont listen to these freaks!

    Use aromatic romantic candles...light them for atmosphere...
    Use the candle to light your bong!
    Do NOT let the naked flame near your tequila!
    Let the wax drop on your nads and her kebab
    Do NOT let wax drop on your gimp mask.

    Relax between whip lashes and enjoy with a nice Merlot and can of dutch gold :D


  • #85
    bronte
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,331 ✭✭✭✭bronte


    Millicent wrote: »
    Or Vick's vaporub!

    Or chocolate body paint. :(


  • #86
    Millicent
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    bronte wrote: »
    Or chocolate body paint. :(

    Sticky flashbacks?


  • #87
    Als76
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 101 ✭✭Als76


    Enjoy the best 23 seconds of your life and try not to blow it when you are putting on the raincoat!!


  • #88
    bronte
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,331 ✭✭✭✭bronte


    Millicent wrote: »
    Sticky flashbacks?

    Verrrry sticky flashbacks. :pac:


  • #89
    Fizman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,605 ✭✭✭Fizman


    OP the important thing is that you are both very relaxed about the whole experience. That way she won't be too bothered about the camera.


  • #90
    old gregg
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,245 ✭✭✭old gregg


    remember, you'll be penalised if you cum in from the side


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  • #91
    LD 50
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,557 ✭✭✭LD 50


    old gregg wrote: »
    remember, you'll be penalised if you cum in from the side

    or from behind.

    or too early.

    Or if she hasn't got the ball.


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