First Time!

whadabouchasir

orourkeda wrote: »

A cucumber will do.

Reminds me of the time someone lefta cucmber and tub of vaseline at the self service checkout in my local tesco.

clikityclak

Wolfbagging... I'm still laughing!
:pac:

LD 50

whadabouchasir wrote: »

Reminds me of the time someone lefta cucmber and tub of vaseline at the self service checkout in my local tesco.

Reminds me off the time a guy in front of me in the queue bought a cucumber, vaseline, and Nuts magazine.

Gummy Panda

OP, just stick it in her pooper!

Millicent

LD 50 wrote: »

Reminds me off the time a guy in front of me in the queue bought a cucumber, vaseline, and Nuts magazine.

Swear to God, I have it on good authority that someone came into the store I worked in at night (after midnight), bought a cucumber, left and came back about 5 minutes later to buy one of those Durex Play vibrating willy rings. DIY dirtiness!

CianRyan

This thread has so much gold in it.

Op, just make sure she cums first and you're set.
After the first time, you turn it into a game.

I remember my first time buying rubbers, I was petrified and thought I was going to get weird looks off the girl at the till. It ended up being like I was buying a packet of crisps, barely even took notice of my existence.

Consider yourself lucky you can just pop down to the shops to buy them... Uugh!!

Bolag_the_2nd

is tonight the night then, remember, no pressure, just cos every poster in A/H is there with you, relax, it will be grand, just dont shout out Bolag when ur jizzin, try not to look at your oh and think of wellallhavetea

LD 50

Bolag_the_2nd wrote: »

is tonight the night then, remember, no pressure, just cos every poster in A/H is there with you(watching), relax, it will be grand, just dont shout out Bolag when ur jizzin, try not to look at your oh and think of wellallhavetea

Bonito

Bolag_the_2nd wrote: »

is tonight the night then, remember, no pressure, just cos every poster in A/H is there with you, relax, it will be grand, just dont shout out Bolag when ur jizzin, try not to look at your oh and think of wellallhavetea

Try not to shout any random things :pac:

I remember when I was 15 I said glasses

Dunno why though and never will. Good thing she was finished

Real FM

Do the superman. Afterwards when she's asleep jiz on her back. At some stage she'll role over onto her back...and in the morning hey presto, the bed sheet turns into a cape.

Gummy Panda

OP, its probably going to be lackluster and awkward the first time.

But the second time when your bodies get comfortable with each other and are in sync... mmmmmmmm!!

CianRyan

I don't think I've ever shouted anything, years of silent masturbation has made me rather quiet in bed.
Ah, it's better than keeping the rest of the house awake...

You know, the usual.
Mad sexy. :cool:


I feel sorry for my GF, I am the least sexiest person in the world.

epgc3fyqirnbsx

You'll get some good tips here OP

starbelgrade

CianRyan wrote: »

I feel sorry for my GF, I am the least sexiest person in the world.

You should give her a treat - wear one of these....

http://members.optusnet.com.au/~ba8/mypic117.jpg

Bonito

starbelgrade wrote: »

You should give her a treat - wear one of these....

http://members.optusnet.com.au/~ba8/mypic117.jpg

Whatever you're in to

Doyler92

Jayson Stale Stork wrote: »

Did you meet her through Facebook? If so watch out for syphilis.

Don't know the OP or his girlfriend but I'm pretty sure her name is not syphillis

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

So, OP... how was it? Go on, tell us what happened... did you spiderman her? Did she love it?

CianRyan

starbelgrade wrote: »

You should give her a treat - wear one of these....

http://members.optusnet.com.au/~ba8/mypic117.jpg

But sure, that would just be adding materiel.

If I try and spice it up in anyway, it'll be through Pokémon!

GirlOfGlass

CianRyan wrote: »

I don't think I've ever shouted anything, years of silent masturbation has made me rather quiet in bed.
Ah, it's better than keeping the rest of the house awake...

You know, the usual.
Mad sexy. :cool:


I feel sorry for my GF, I am the least sexiest person in the world.

You ARE mad sexy.

starbelgrade

Bonito wrote: »

Whatever you're in to

More like hanging out of in one of those yokes.

Gummy Panda

CianRyan wrote: »

If I try and spice it up in anyway, it'll be through Pokémon!

Buy blue body paint and make her dress up as mudkips

CianRyan

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Buy blue body paint and make her dress up as mudkips

GirlOfGlass wrote: »

You ARE mad sexy.

Here, you heard the man!

GirlOfGlass

CianRyan wrote: »

Here, you heard the man!

Note taken.

Gummy Panda

GirlOfGlass wrote: »

Note taken.

Just google Mudkip Girl for inspiration

GirlOfGlass

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Just google Mudkip Girl for inspiration

I just did, hahahaha...
My WHOLE body!?
It's not even attractive. But whatever.

Bonito

GirlOfGlass wrote: »

I just did, hahahaha...
My WHOLE body!?
It's not even attractive. But whatever.

Google "that's not sexy" Then click I'm feeling lucky

GirlOfGlass

Bonito wrote: »

Google "that's not sexy" Then click I'm feeling lucky

Unfortunately I already googled that after seeing it earlier in this post.
I puked.

Bonito

GirlOfGlass wrote: »

Unfortunately I already googled that after seeing it earlier in this post.
I puked.

You get a thank for that

How awesome am I. Bet you all hate me now. :pac:

landsleaving

Bonito wrote: »

You get a thank for that

How awesome am I. Bet you all hate me now. :pac:

Why yes, yes I do.

landsleaving

GirlOfGlass wrote: »

I just did, hahahaha...
My WHOLE body!?
It's not even attractive. But whatever.

If ever the phrase pics or gtfo was needed...



you kids.