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First Time!

24567…13

Comments

  • #32
    Bonito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭Bonito


    Bolag_the_2nd wrote: »
    do a shíte on her :eek:
    DrumSteve wrote: »
    take a poo on her chest.


    The two of you are sick individuals!


  • #33
    Millicent
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    Bonito wrote: »
    The two of you are sick individuals!

    Hey, hey, I suggested it too with a Wikipedia link and everyfink! Mine even incorporates smushing!


  • #34
    Snas
    Closed Accounts Posts: 38 ✭Snas


    Should I actually fap beforehand? :p


  • #35
    My name is URL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,290 ✭✭✭✭My name is URL


    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=wolfbagging


  • #36
    Millicent
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    Snas wrote: »
    Should I actually fap beforehand? :p

    Yes but probably best to do it private unless your girlfriend is a lil bit kinky.

    Also, ALSO (and this is a public service announcement for all the men here- PAY ATTENTION!), that "radio tuner" thing inexperienced lads seem to be convinced a girl loves, we do not. At all.

    That is all. :D


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  • #37
    The Saint
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,932 ✭✭✭The Saint


    Be prepared to be told "don't worry, it happens all guys".

    As a matter of fact, it doesn't.


  • #38
    Professey Chin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 51,054 ✭✭✭✭Professey Chin


    Millicent wrote: »
    Also, ALSO (and this is a public service announcement for all the men here- PAY ATTENTION!), that "radio tuner" thing inexperienced lads seem to be convinced a girl loves, we do not. At all.

    That is all. :D
    Not true.I managed to tune in TodayFM more then once


  • #39
    orourkeda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,918 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    Snas wrote: »
    Ha nah I'm not really expecting very serious answers.

    Ok so my expectations have been lowered and I'm avoiding the backdoor!

    It should basically be 15 seconds of pain and awkwardness, followed by tears and a break up. Then it's back to good old fashioned fapping. :)

    The thing about using the backdoor is that there is no risk of impregnation. Up the gicker twice the quicker and no babies. Tried and tested


  • #40
    Bonito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭Bonito


    Millicent wrote: »
    Hey, hey, I suggested it too with a Wikipedia link and everyfink! Mine even incorporates smushing!
    I dares ya to google "that's not sexy" then click I'm feeling lucky ;)
    Millicent wrote: »
    Yes but probably best to do it private unless your girlfriend is a lil bit kinky.

    Also, ALSO (and this is a public service announcement for all the men here- PAY ATTENTION!), that "radio tuner" thing inexperienced lads seem to be convinced a girl loves, we do not. At all.

    That is all. :D
    What is this radio tuner carry on you speak of? Also Op don't expect her to let you do a bit of cunilingus first time round. Some girls are weird and selfish like that. Why would they deprive themselves of pleasure, I do not know.


  • #41
    Millicent
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    Ultimate Chin wrote: »
    Not true.I managed to tune in TodayFM more then once

    Well evidently you are some kind of magician! Although, I don't think I'd be too impressed with having Ray Darcy broadcast on my boobage. :p


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  • #42
    Bonito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭Bonito


    Millicent wrote: »
    Well evidently you are some kind of magician! Although, I don't think I'd be too impressed with having Ray Darcy broadcast on my boobage. :p
    Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmotorboat


  • #43
    orourkeda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,918 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    Snas wrote: »
    Should I actually fap beforehand? :p

    Might be an idea. At least it will guarantee that you wont shoot your beans too quickly.


  • #44
    orourkeda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,918 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    My name is URL wrote: »
    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=wolfbagging

    I am definitely trying that one.


  • #45
    Bolag_the_2nd
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,224 ✭✭✭Bolag_the_2nd


    Bonito wrote: »
    I dares ya to google "that's not sexy" then click I'm feeling lucky ;)



    funk ya Bonito :D i just spilled me tea, jeasus :eek:


  • #46
    Snas
    Closed Accounts Posts: 38 ✭Snas


    Feck I've to buy condoms now don't I? That could be awkward.


  • #47
    Millicent
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    Bonito wrote: »
    I dares ya to google "that's not sexy" then click I'm feeling lucky ;)

    Argh! Mein eyes! You evil, evil man you! :eek:
    Bonito wrote: »
    What is this radio tuner carry on you speak of?

    This is the practice of taking a lady's nipples and twisting as if trying to manually tune a radio. I dunno if it's cos they reckon that might make them bigger or what?!:confused:

    Usually results in this face: http://media.filmschoolrejects.com/images/lohan-wtf.jpg


  • #48
    Bonito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭Bonito


    orourkeda wrote: »
    I am definitely trying that one.
    Why? :confused:
    UrbanDictionary wrote:
    Wolfbagging
    The act of going out into the woods armed with a Tesco bag and trying to trap a wolf within.


  • #49
    orourkeda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,918 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    Bonito wrote: »
    I dares ya to google "that's not sexy" then click I'm feeling lucky ;)

    Awesome


  • #50
    orourkeda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,918 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    Bonito wrote: »
    Why? :confused:

    Sometimes its worth trying something different


  • #51
    GLaDOS
    Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 23,246 Mod ✭✭✭✭GLaDOS


    Snas wrote: »
    Feck I've to buy condoms now don't I? That could be awkward.
    Nah man, just go into the chemist and buy them, they see it every day and tbh it's better that you're using them than not

    Cake, and grief counseling, will be available at the conclusion of the test



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  • #52
    orourkeda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,918 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    Snas wrote: »
    Feck I've to buy condoms now don't I? That could be awkward.

    Up the bum no harm done


  • #53
    Snas
    Closed Accounts Posts: 38 ✭Snas


    Ya except her father owns and works in the local chemist.


  • #54
    Bonito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭Bonito


    Bolag_the_2nd wrote: »
    funk ya Bonito :D i just spilled me tea, jeasus :eek:
    Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot to mention NSFW :D
    Snas wrote: »
    Feck I've to buy condoms now don't I? That could be awkward.
    Not at all. The withdrawal method works every time.
    Millicent wrote: »
    Argh! Mein eyes! You evil, evil man you! :eek:
    Muhahahahaha :cool:


    This is the practice of taking a lady's nipples and twisting as if trying to manually tune a radio. I dunno if it's cos they reckon that might make them bigger or what?
    Maybe you just have non responsive nipples? :confused:http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090514235726AAGiKLE
    orourkeda wrote: »
    Awesome

    :confused: :rolleyes:


  • #55
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    Beer before you lick her, not as bitter.


  • #56
    Bonito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭Bonito


    Snas wrote: »
    Ya except her father owns and works in the local chemist.
    He has to find out sometime.


  • #57
    GLaDOS
    Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 23,246 Mod ✭✭✭✭GLaDOS


    Snas wrote: »
    Ya except her father owns and works in the local chemist.
    That would be awkward then :D
    Find another chemist, or failing that, most pubs will have vending machines in their jacks

    Cake, and grief counseling, will be available at the conclusion of the test



  • #58
    Millicent
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    Bonito wrote: »
    Maybe you just have non responsive nipples? :confused:http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090514235726AAGiKLE

    Ah no, Bonito, don't be going to Yahoo for sex advice. Come to AH!:D

    Seriously, do a poll of your female friends. I guarantee most of them have had that experience and I guarantee not one of them was impressed or excited in any way. ;)


  • #59
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    Jayson Stale Stork wrote: »
    Did you meet her through Facebook? If so watch out for syphilis.
    Never mind Syphilis, keep an eye out for her sister "Gonorrhoea". She can be a whole lot of trouble.
    That said, if you run into their Russian cousin "Onya Bachyabitch" - your laughing! Ask her to join in! :cool:


  • #60
    Bonito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭Bonito


    Millicent wrote: »
    Ah no, Bonito, don't be going to Yahoo for sex advice. Come to AH!:D

    Seriously, do a poll of your female friends. I guarantee most of them have had that experience and I guarantee not one of them was impressed or excited in any way. ;)
    I don't need sex advice :cool:


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  • #61
    Millicent
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    ScienceNerd wrote: »
    That would be awkward then :D
    Find another chemist, or failing that, most pubs will have vending machines in their jacks

    On a serious note, if buying them from a pub's jacks,be sure to check the expiration date on the back to be sure they won't go splitting mid coitus. Nothin' kills the mood faster than an "oh shite, now I have to get the morning after pill" dash to the doctor's!


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