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Friend going too far

124»

Comments

  • #92
    gavney1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 537 ✭✭✭gavney1


    this sounds like the "background" to alot of weird, violent crimes that seem to appear more and more in Irish papers these days. They also usually seem to involve seemingly otherwise normal people....


  • #93
    miec
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 856 ✭✭✭miec


    I am working on the assumption that this occurred and I have to say I am shocked and disgusted by you and your friend.
    She then told him that unless he did exactly as she told him she would tell his wife. She then spent a few hours humiliating him. She got me involved in it as well. It was hilarious and we had a good giggle afterwards.

    You found it funny that your friend blackmailed and humiliated this man. The decent thing and the moral thing would have been to confront him with his behaviour and if she felt it was needed, then also tell his wife. Instead you both did this
    She then had him drinking water from a basin on the floor like a dog, and then dress up and serve us. He had to call us madam and generally be respectful. We did not assault him. He seemed very shocked. We made him do a few other things such as admitting he was a rotter etc

    That is disgusting and it is a form of torture. If a friend of mine ever did this on another person, I would dump her in a second, instead you found this funny and she wants to escalate this? You need to tell her she is out of order or at least drop her and look at why you participated in this inhumane behaviour. Also if you get wind of her doing this **** again, tell her you will report her to the guards.

    I would also consider how you truly feel about men. I believe you and your friend are man haters, you harp on and on about Mr. Right but I bet you are both propped at the bar or in the corner bitching about how all men are bastards and we'll show them attitude. Men are people, part of the human race not objects. Also whilst your friend is scamming drinks of married men, she is participating in a form of adultery because she is flirting with married men, she is scummier than they are. If she had any genuine decency she would tell the married man to go home to his wife. I am rarely sickened and appalled but I am in this case.


  • #94
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    If you are going to post in this form then read the stickes at the top first.

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055304042
    Note on suspect troll threads and posts.
    If you have an issues with a post or a thread report it, do not post *I think this is a troll* Or *Thius cant be real*, as it will be considered off topic posting and by now you should all know off topic posting can resulted in infractions and/or a ban from this forum.

    Report the posts let the Mods make a call on it, it could be well that the thread started out as an attempt to troll but there could well be people out there struggling with that issues and the thread maybe helpful to them now or when they search boards.

    Again replying to a thread to state you think it is a troll attempt will be considered off topic posting.

    Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
    Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
    Have a nice day.
    Thaedydal


  • #95
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,005 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    My friend does not go out looking for married men. She tries to avoid them. She only susses them out after they have tried to get off with her. She keeps them occupied for the rest of the night and then drops them so that no other girl gets caught by them. She thought this guy was single when she brought him home. He put on a good act. It was priceless to see his face when he was confronted. He was like a scared rabbit going around the apartment wearing a black skirt, tights and white apron curtsying to us and calling us madam. I couldn't hepl laughing. I am not saying I would do it again but I do not think I am a lunatic. I would not call his wife. I think it is better for his marriage if he stops chasing single girls and his wife does not find out what he did.


  • #96
    N.Dynamite
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16 ✭N.Dynamite


    This is completely disturbing. Your 'friend' definitely needs help and if you actually have to ask 'if you should go along with it', then you need help too. Any rational person wouldn't even dream up the events your friend has carried out. Making up stories and taking photos just to gain information, the ways she humiliated the guy (how did she even come up with this?!), its the stuff of horror movies. The average person would be horrified if watching this on the big screen, never-mind performing it in actual real life!

    Have either of you considered the guys feeling in this at all? I'm definitely not condoning cheating, imo it's disgusting, but you don't know this guy or what his home-life is like. You don't know how he felt afterwards (I'd safely say he's still in shock), whether he's feeling suicidal, depressed etc. I'm sure he's mentally scared, I know I would be had I been in the situation.

    Oh and another thing...What makes your friend think she can lure him over for a second helping of abuse? Do you honestly think anyone in their right mind would go through that again? I'd imagine this would only happen if this is a joke, they were both role playing and set you up big time!


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  • #97
    mood
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,264 ✭✭✭mood


    N.Dynamite wrote: »
    This is completely disturbing. Your 'friend' definitely needs help and if you actually have to ask 'if you should go along with it', then you need help too. Any rational person wouldn't even dream up the events your friend has carried out. Making up stories and taking photos just to gain information, the ways she humiliated the guy (how did she even come up with this?!), its the stuff of horror movies. The average person would be horrified if watching this on the big screen, never-mind preforming it in actual real life!

    Have either of you considered the guys feeling in this at all? I'm definitely not condoning cheating, imo it's disgusting, but you don't know this guy or what his home-life is like. You don't know how he felt afterwards (I'd safely say he's still in shock), whether he's feeling suicidal, depressed etc. I'm sure he's mentally scared, I know I would be had I been in the situation.

    Oh and another thing...What makes your friend think she can lure him over for a second helping of abuse? Do you honestly think anyone in their right mind would go through that again? I'd imagine this would only happen if this is a joke, they were both role playing and set you up big time!

    Agree.

    And as for your friend only chatting to married men in pubs all night so no other girls get caught by them - rubbish. I wouldn't waste a night out talking to married men who are trying it on. I think she must love the attention or something. It's not normal behaviour. She need help. And the fact that you are defending her (and your) actions is very worrying.


  • #98
    stovelid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    Mad Mini wrote: »
    It was priceless to see his face when he was confronted. He was like a scared rabbit going around the apartment wearing a black skirt, tights and white apron curtsying to us and calling us madam.

    Something about this and one of your other posts makes me wonder if your "friend" might actually be you.

    No matter: (Her) complete lack of remorse and (your) solely justificatory stance on the incident really signals an urgent need for help. She should really consider seeking it before this all seriously backfires: whether in a violent or legal incident.


  • #99
    jenny jinks
    Closed Accounts Posts: 76 ✭✭jenny jinks


    Whoever was responsible, I am sure it shocked the life out of the guy. I presume there is a video clip of him doings all of this stuff as well. I work in a solicitors office and I see lots of broken marriages. A lot of them are caused by playing around. When I get a married man coming on, I just ask loudly how are his wife and children. They usually scamper straight out the door.


  • #100
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,005 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Mad Mini wrote: »
    My friend does not go out looking for married men. She tries to avoid them. She only susses them out after they have tried to get off with her. She keeps them occupied for the rest of the night and then drops them so that no other girl gets caught by them. She thought this guy was single when she brought him home. He put on a good act. It was priceless to see his face when he was confronted. He was like a scared rabbit going around the apartment wearing a black skirt, tights and white apron curtsying to us and calling us madam. I couldn't hepl laughing. I am not saying I would do it again but I do not think I am a lunatic. I would not call his wife. I think it is better for his marriage if he stops chasing single girls and his wife does not find out what he did.

    Between this and your friends desire to "punish" people for their wrongdoings, it seems she has some kind of God complex or idea that she is a moral guardian. She is deeply disturbed.

    Equally unsettling is your seeming continued tolerance of what she has done and how oblivious you are to the fact that you basically stood by while a crime was committed and did nothing. You know what that makes you? An accomplice in the eyes of the law. It would be ironic if the guy ye did this to was a boards poster (which is quite possible, boards has a MASSIVE membership and the details of this case are so specific that he'd recognise it straight away), sees this and decides to do the right thing and gets ye both brought to book by the law. Now THATS how to hand out justice.


  • #101
    Taltos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    Whether it was you or your mate - you both need to step back here and recognise what you did was wrong.
    This does not make what he was attempting any less of a problem.

    Putting a new spin on this - are you sure you really want to bring this guy back for 2nd's?
    1st time around maybe he was role-playing - maybe he was in shock. But 2nd time - well I reckon he might just be counting on this to impart what he really feels about the whole situation - if you catch my drift.

    Personally wouldn't go playing with fire there.
    On a separate note - maybe you need to distance yourself from this mate for a while. Get your own head straight - I can almost hear the giggles in your responses. And allow her to see that what she did was totally not acceptable.


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  • #102
    N.Dynamite
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16 ✭N.Dynamite


    Mad Mini wrote: »
    He was like a scared rabbit going around the apartment wearing a black skirt, tights and white apron curtsying to us and calling us madam.

    This is getting stranger & stranger, OP are you sure they weren't trying to fool you for some reason?

    Most of the guys I know would rather 'fess-up than dress-up. This sounds absurd...that he'd actually go through with that (along with everything else!), rather than leave and take his chances of being found out. In all fairness your friend does come across as unstable, so if she's like this in real life and if she did tell his wife he could just claim she came onto him, he rejected her and now she's trying to get her revenge. She'd probably be brushed off as this crazy woman and the guy will get on with his life.

    I just can't see why he'd rather be abused by you two in an unimaginable manner rather than take his chances. Think about it OP, are you sure this wasn't a set-up to introduce you to the world of s&m or something?


  • #103
    miec
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 856 ✭✭✭miec


    It was priceless to see his face when he was confronted. He was like a scared rabbit going around the apartment wearing a black skirt, tights and white apron curtsying to us and calling us madam. I couldn't hepl laughing. I am not saying I would do it again but I do not think I am a lunatic.

    You are no different to your friend, in my opinion you are both dangerous and lunatic for as long as you see this type of behaviour as being 'priceless'. You seem to think it is okay what she did, in actual fact the way you defend it suggests to me that you see this is as a good thing.


  • #104
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Mad Mini wrote: »
    My friend does not go out looking for married men. She tries to avoid them. She only susses them out after they have tried to get off with her. She keeps them occupied for the rest of the night and then drops them so that no other girl gets caught by them. She thought this guy was single when she brought him home.
    So much of that sentence contradicts itself.
    He was like a scared rabbit going around the apartment wearing a black skirt, tights and white apron curtsying to us and calling us madam. I couldn't hepl laughing. I am not saying I would do it again but I do not think I am a lunatic. I would not call his wife. I think it is better for his marriage if he stops chasing single girls and his wife does not find out what he did.
    :(
    That is horrific... What do you want people to say?


  • #105
    Jo King
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,139 ✭✭✭Jo King


    This guy was prepared to destroy the lives of two women, his children and possibly cause difficulties for his in laws, and other people, and now he seems to be the victim!
    He endured a few hours of non-physical torment which was the lesser evil of having his marriage busting up.
    Yet he is getting all of the sympathy?


  • #106
    ash23
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,791 ✭✭✭ash23


    Jo King wrote: »
    This guy was prepared to destroy the lives of two women, his children and possibly cause difficulties for his in laws, and other people, and now he seems to be the victim!
    He endured a few hours of non-physical torment which was the lesser evil of having his marriage busting up.
    Yet he is getting all of the sympathy?


    I've been cheated on and I pretty much despise my ex. However, someone doing this to him would earn him my sympathy.
    When he left me I had many offers of GBH (some serious, some not). I had ample opportunity for pay back or some sort or retribution but I didn't act on it. Why? Because I am a normal, empathetic person who has more self respect for myself than to drag myself to that level. I also respect people as human beings (even if I don't respect them as individuals) and I would never humiliate, blackmail or hurt another person.

    Op what your friend did is sick. End of. Get her to get some help or the next time she pulls a stunt like this she may find herself dealing with someone who has as little regard for her as she seems to have for men. Dangerous game she is playing. Bit like Russian Roulette. I think she should seek her kicks elsewhere.


  • #107
    stvincent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 44 ✭stvincent


    Dudess wrote: »
    So much of that sentence contradicts itself.

    :(
    That is horrific... What do you want people to say?

    "He was like a scared rabbit going around the apartment wearing a black skirt, tights and white apron curtsying to us and calling us madam. I couldn't hepl laughing. I am not saying I would do it again but I do not think I am a lunatic. I would not call his wife. I think it is better for his marriage if he stops chasing single girls and his wife does not find out what he did."

    To be honest, the original post sounded a little far fetched, but this part really doesn't ring true. I think someone's making up little stories.


  • #108
    zootroid
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 785 ✭✭✭zootroid


    Jo King wrote: »
    This guy was prepared to destroy the lives of two women, his children and possibly cause difficulties for his in laws, and other people, and now he seems to be the victim!
    He endured a few hours of non-physical torment which was the lesser evil of having his marriage busting up.
    Yet he is getting all of the sympathy?

    Bit of an exaggeration, don't you think?

    Nobody knows about the ins and outs of the relationship, only the man and his wife. Yes, cheating is not a nice thing, but that doesn't give anyone the excuse to put someone through this type of humiliation. The fact that the OP and her mate got enjoyment out of this is disturbing to say the least. And then there is the whole issue of whether what they did was illegal or not.


  • #109
    JonathanAnon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,717 ✭✭✭✭JonathanAnon


    Mad Mini wrote: »
    She then spent a few hours humiliating him. She got me involved in it as well. It was hilarious and we had a good giggle afterwards. The thing is she now wants to contact him and force him to come around so she can do the same thing again. She also wants to get more of our friends involved. I think she is going too far. He might turn violent.

    What is she, four years old? If she wants to be vindictive and petty let her at it. This has the potential to end up someone getting hurt so I would stay well clear. It is not her place to play judge on this man's fate. At the end of the day, if she didnt go off on one night stands she might have the chance to find out something about the guy before she sleeps with him.


  • #110
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,005 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    stvincent wrote: »

    To be honest, the original post sounded a little far fetched, but this part really doesn't ring true. I think someone's making up little stories.


    What do you want? To see the video on youtube? My friend does not do one night stands. She went home witha guy she thought was single and exchanged phone numbers. No sex. Some people are tryting everything to blacken me and my friend. I feel like telling her to post the video at this stage.


  • #111
    Neyite
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,946 ✭✭✭✭Neyite


    do you mean boardsies, or people who know you and your friend?


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  • #112
    gimme5minutes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 387 ✭✭gimme5minutes


    Mad Mini wrote: »
    What do you want? To see the video on youtube? My friend does not do one night stands. She went home witha guy she thought was single and exchanged phone numbers. No sex. Some people are tryting everything to blacken me and my friend. I feel like telling her to post the video at this stage.

    Well that is a sure fire way to end up in court. It'd be an open and shut case when the judge and jury can see first hand the proof of your blackmail and how you degraded this guy. Guaranteed criminal conviction if this went to court so don't go booking any flights to countrys such as Australia or the USA that bar criminals if you decide to put it up on youtube. A person would have to pretty dumb to incriminate themselves like this but you and your friend sound like mentalers anyway so I wouldn't be overly surprised.


  • #113
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,005 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Mad Mini wrote: »
    What do you want? To see the video on youtube? My friend does not do one night stands. She went home witha guy she thought was single and exchanged phone numbers. No sex. Some people are tryting everything to blacken me and my friend. I feel like telling her to post the video at this stage.

    You "blackened" yourself by posting this lurid story on a public website, detailing the enjoyment you have taken in your friend's cruel, illegal and immoral behaviour, to be honest.

    9 pages of people almost unanimously condemning your behaviour and you STILL can't see whats wrong with it? Seriously?


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