Friend going too far

LegacyUser

I have a friend who is in her early 30's. We often go out together hoping to find Mr. Right. She was going out with a guy for six weeks. It turned out that he was married and living with his wife and children. This was about 5 years ago. She now hates meeting married guys on the prowl. She often hangs around with them all night and disappears at the end after getting them to buy loads of drink. Recently she brought a guy home thinking he was ok. Three days later, after no contact she saw him with children. She hung around and saw him bring them to a car. They all sat in the car. After a few minutes a woman came out of a nearby hairdressers and came towards them. She took out her phone and photagraphed the woman. She waited until they drove off and went back to the hairdressers. She said that she had found a silver ring( showing them her own ring) in the car park and she thought a woman who had come out of their shop had dropped it. She described the woman she had photographed. They gave her the name and phone number of the woman. A few days later the guy contacted her asking for a date. She agreed to a date.
When he called around to collect her I was in the apartment with her. She let him in and sat him down. Then she told him she knew he was married. She showed him the photograph and told him his wife's name. He was shocked. She then told him that unless he did exactly as she told him she would tell his wife. She then spent a few hours humiliating him. She got me involved in it as well. It was hilarious and we had a good giggle afterwards.
The thing is she now wants to contact him and force him to come around so she can do the same thing again. She also wants to get more of our friends involved. I think she is going too far. He might turn violent. She says that he deserves it, he is only a rat. I don't know what to do. I do not want to break up a friendship over an unfaithful husband, but I think she should move on.

Giblet

Your friend sounds psychotic. I'd stay well away!

SheRa

You got a good giggle from humiliating this guy? I don't think that its just your friend that has issues. If your friend suggests this again tell her that you don't want to and i suspect that she won't push it as she needs you to go out with her to pick up mr. Right.

ManOfMystery

What she's doing is not only wrong on an ethical level, it's illegal.

Tell her to move on. Stooping to his level will only make her as bad as him.

LegacyUser

Mad Mini wrote: »

I have a friend who is in her early 30's. She often hangs around with them all night and disappears at the end after getting them to buy loads of drink.

what a waste of her time..literally... how does she ever hope to meet Mr Right, when she occupies herself with men already taken?...why is she consciously doing this?

The thing is she now wants to contact him and force him to come around so she can do the same thing again. She also wants to get more of our friends involved. I think she is going too far.

this is totally warped, i'm sorry... don't involve yourself in this... if she has to do something this lame and wrong, to feel better about herself, it is very sad... she should making the most of her freedom and be out there enjoying herself...give her a wide berth...

Ave Sodalis

Fair enough, punish him once with a good laugh as he should not of tried to cheat on his wife. However thats enough. Tell her that he isn't worth it and to forget about it. If that doesn't work, tell her to grow up a bit and that you want her to move on. Before it gets out of hand or obsessive. It may not be now but it can turn.

Agent J

Reverse the sexes in this story and there would be an outcry.
Imagine if a man did that to a woman?


Your friend sounds like they need serious mental help if thats how they get their kicks.

FiennesJ

Single white female spings to mind. :eek:

Kidchameleon

It seems to me that your friend has issues with being in her 30's and not married. She probably feels regected by men and is taking out her frustration on this poor guy (admitedly he's an ass too) What you and your friend did was just awful, psycopathic. Leave him alone, its not his fault the two of you are single...

Jo King

ManOfMystery wrote: »

What she's doing is not only wrong on an ethical level, it's illegal.

Tell her to move on. Stooping to his level will only make her as bad as him.

What is illegal about it? Unless she is demanding money there is no crime.

ztoical

Jo King wrote: »

What is illegal about it? Unless she is demanding money there is no crime.

depending on what the OP means by "humiliating" it can be viewed as abuse or assault.

PirateShampoo

What the **** is wrong with you?

Your mate is sick in the head, if she is willing to go so far the first time where will the second time lead 2?

If this was the other way around at it was 2 men doing it to a women then you would be looking at a stretch inside if it was reported to the police.

Your best off staying well clear of your friend as situations like with could snowball real fast and you could end up in a world of ****.

Aurora Borealis

Please tell me this is a troll?! The mind boggles at such crazy behaviour.

jimmycrackcorm

Tell her she's had her fun and enough is enough.

Doop

Troll troll troll troll troll troll troll troll troll troll troll troll troll

Jo King

ztoical wrote: »

depending on what the OP means by "humiliating" it can be viewed as abuse or assault.

There are lots of ways of humiliating someone without assaulting them. There is no crime or tort of abuse per se. If,for example, they had told the guy to write out a hundred lines of "I am a cheating two faced rat who tried to pretend that I was not married despite being married with children", that would not be an assault. What would be illegal about it.
It is ridiculous to say something is illegal without knowing details. The o/p should not continue to take part however.
She should tell her friend something to frighten her off the guy.

silverharp

no idea of where a legal line would be crossed but morally its either blackmail or stalking if it continues. as others mentioned once was "ok" as I think someone in that situation is entitled ot their gotcha moment.
Its also dangerous, in the unlikey situation that the man has a violent personality, backing him into a corner could backfire badly.
Nothing good can come from this so OP should put a stop to it.

6th

Any further Unhelpful and Off Topic posting will result in bans being issued. If you have a problem with a post please use the report post function.

Thank you.

Lollipops23

If this is true then it's extremely disturbing. Fair enough the guy is a creep for trying to start something with your mate but it's not illegal to have an affair. And I can deal with the confrontation re the picture of his wife etc but she really shouldn't be getting a kick out of it.

She may just need someone to reign her in. If you feel you're getting kicks out of this too I'd seriosuly question whether you're the right person to do this.

Barracudaincork

You think she has gone far enough but yet dont want to lose her friendship if you dont agree to do it again, i have to ask what kind of friend dumps you for not agreeing to what they want for starters?

I also have to ask what kind of person are you being friends with if this is how they behave? People are judged by the company they keep. Are you happy to be associated with someone like this? Someone who has such revenge in their heart and has so many private personal issues, you may need to stay clear while they sort out their head, for your own sake.

Stand up to your bully friend and say you are too mature and have too much respect for yourself to lower yourself to humilating another human being again.

PS i dont care he was married, two wrongs dont make a right.

Miss Fluff

Mad Mini wrote: »

She then told him that unless he did exactly as she told him she would tell his wife. She then spent a few hours humiliating him. She got me involved in it as well. It was hilarious and we had a good giggle afterwards.

How exactly did you humiliate him? Was your behaviour threatening or abusive? You do realise you could both me in a whole world of sh1t for getting involved in this type of behaviour don't you?

6th

I have deleted some of the unhelpful posts here. Bans/Infractions have been issued and more will be if this continues.

Thats 2 on-thread warnings now.

Peggypeg

Hey OP,

Going to get killed here but I think your friend is a genius. I mean WOW I would have given anything to see his face when he realised he was rumbled. I think he does deserve to be humiliated, cheating on his poor wife and children, what a scumbag. If I was your friend I would have had his wife there waiting for him though, not you!!!

Now saying that, I wouldn't continue on with this at all, blackmail is when you say "if you don't do this, I will do this", it is illegal and also immoral no matter how much of a scummer he is. Just tell her that you don't think it's right or safe or legal to continue on with this, if she wants to go further with it tell her to tell the man's wife, which is really what should have been done in the first place.

Best of luck OP.

Davei141

Peggypeg wrote: »

Hey OP,

Going to get killed here but I think your friend is a genius. I mean WOW I would have given anything to see his face when he realised he was rumbled. I think he does deserve to be humiliated, cheating on his poor wife and children, what a scumbag. If I was your friend I would have had his wife there waiting for him though, not you!!!

Now saying that, I wouldn't continue on with this at all, blackmail is when you say "if you don't do this, I will do this", it is illegal and also immoral no matter how much of a scummer he is. Just tell her that you don't think it's right or safe or legal to continue on with this, if she wants to go further with it tell her to tell the man's wife, which is really what should have been done in the first place.

Best of luck OP.

Spot the nutcase.

Peggypeg

Davei141 wrote: »

Spot the nutcase.

Excuse you, I'm far from a nutcase, if you don't like my opinion that's fine but don't throw around insults if you don't agree with me, just state your own opinion.

Nevyn

Davei141 banned for personal abuse.

Peggypeg please report posts rather then responding to them.

Peggypeg

Sorry Thaedydal, will do.

ztoical

Jo King wrote: »

There are lots of ways of humiliating someone without assaulting them. There is no crime or tort of abuse per se. If,for example, they had told the guy to write out a hundred lines of "I am a cheating two faced rat who tried to pretend that I was not married despite being married with children", that would not be an assault. What would be illegal about it.
It is ridiculous to say something is illegal without knowing details.

Under the Non-Fatal Offences Against The Person Act 1997 forcing someone to write out a hundred lines aginist their will or under treat [ie I'll tell your wife] is assault. Physical abuse and verbal abuse are viewed as one and the same so even if she didn't physically touch him if she abused him with words it falls under the 97 act.

Nevyn

Also please do not thank posts which break the forum and site rules,
if this becomes and issue then we will have to make policy on it and infract for doing so.

PirateShampoo

Peggypeg wrote: »

Hey OP,

Going to get killed here but I think your friend is a genius. I mean WOW I would have given anything to see his face when he realised he was rumbled. I think he does deserve to be humiliated, cheating on his poor wife and children, what a scumbag. If I was your friend I would have had his wife there waiting for him though, not you!!!

First off, u nor anybody here knows what this mans home life situation is. For all you know is a loveless marriage and both partners are sleeping with other people.

Secondly lets flip this around.

If this was a women who had been trapped the same way has this man and was forced into a humiliating show for 2 male abusers, would your opinion be the same as the one you have above?

And if it does change your opinion, then shouldnt the man have the same rights as the women?

Peggypeg

PirateShampoo wrote: »

First off, u nor anybody here knows what this mans home life situation is. For all you know is a loveless marriage and both partners are sleeping with other people.

Secondly lets flip this around.

If this was a women who had been trapped the same way has this man and was forced into a humiliating show for 2 male abusers, would your opinion be the same as the one you have above?

And if it does change your opinion, then shouldnt the man have the same rights as the women?

Hey,

Yeah true, for all I know the wife's celibate and has no problem with her husband sleeping around, usually though marriages tend to be monogamous so I think it would be fairly safe to assume that he intended to cheat, I do admit there could be some other circumstances that would excuse it but I'd say he would have mentioned them to the OP.

In answer to your second question, I would laugh just as hard at a female cheater getting caught and getting her cumuppance. And yes I do believe that men and women should be treated equally.

Peg.

Barracudaincork

Peggypeg wrote: »

Hey,

Yeah true, for all I know the wife's celibate and has no problem with her husband sleeping around, usually though marriages tend to be monogamous so I think it would be fairly safe to assume that he intended to cheat, I do admit there could be some other circumstances that would excuse it but I'd say he would have mentioned them to the OP..

Or the wife could be shagging the whole neighbourhood and this is the first time he has strayed and maybe he was to ashamed etc to mention it to the OP. We could all guess and muse over what goes on behind closed doors (and that can be fun!) but in realtity we have no idea whatsoever.

Peggypeg wrote: »

In answer to your second question, I would laugh just as hard at a female cheater getting caught and getting her cumuppance. And yes I do believe that men and women should be treated equally.

So i women is held hostage by two men and you find this funny? Do you really think you could do this? I mean cheating is awful etc etc but this kind of revenge is just sick and twisted.

stephen_n

The words, seek professional help come to mind for your friend. She obviously has serious anger and control issues. If she doesn't get herself counseling then she will have a very lonely life ahead of her as if that's the attitude she brings into the relationship, when and if she manages to me a decent guy then as sure as **** she will destroy it fairly quickly. There is no defence for this guys cheating but then again there is no defence for her actions eitherand I would suggest to anyone who would support them that counseling might be an option.

As for you and what you should do, if she won't accept your choice not to be involved then your not really loosing out on much of a friendship are you?

ztoical

Peggypeg wrote: »

I would laugh just as hard at a female cheater getting caught and getting her cumuppance. And yes I do believe that men and women should be treated equally.

There is a big difference between someone whose cheating getting their "cumuppance" as you say and what happened here.

Example couple of weeks ago in my friends office a woman walked in and yelled across the room that she had been sleeping with the married manger whose wife also worked there, turned around and left while manger and wife were yelling at each other. That to me is someone getting their cumuppance.

What [supposedly] happened here is abuse regardless of the sex of victim or the attacker. If it was a woman held against her will by two men there would be up roar but we view it as funny when it happens to a man cus men should be able to over power women cus they are stronger etc etc. Physical, verbal, mental abuse are all treated the same in the eyes of the law but chances are slim the guy will say anything cus he would just be laughed at, same with men in abusive relationships...we have plenty of pity for battered wives but little time for men in the situation.

jenny jinks

ztoical wrote: »

Under the Non-Fatal Offences Against The Person Act 1997 forcing someone to write out a hundred lines aginist their will or under treat [ie I'll tell your wife] is assault. Physical abuse and verbal abuse are viewed as one and the same so even if she didn't physically touch him if she abused him with words it falls under the 97 act.

Under what Sections? I thought force had to be applied directly or indirectly or threatened to constitute an assault.

meditraitor

Mad Mini wrote: »

I have a friend who is in her early 30's. We often go out together hoping to find Mr. Right. She was going out with a guy for six weeks. It turned out that he was married and living with his wife and children. This was about 5 years ago. She now hates meeting married guys on the prowl. She often hangs around with them all night and disappears at the end after getting them to buy loads of drink. Recently she brought a guy home thinking he was ok. Three days later, after no contact she saw him with children. She hung around and saw him bring them to a car. They all sat in the car. After a few minutes a woman came out of a nearby hairdressers and came towards them. She took out her phone and photagraphed the woman. She waited until they drove off and went back to the hairdressers. She said that she had found a silver ring( showing them her own ring) in the car park and she thought a woman who had come out of their shop had dropped it. She described the woman she had photographed. They gave her the name and phone number of the woman. A few days later the guy contacted her asking for a date. She agreed to a date.
When he called around to collect her I was in the apartment with her. She let him in and sat him down. Then she told him she knew he was married. She showed him the photograph and told him his wife's name. He was shocked. She then told him that unless he did exactly as she told him she would tell his wife. She then spent a few hours humiliating him. She got me involved in it as well. It was hilarious and we had a good giggle afterwards.The thing is she now wants to contact him and force him to come around so she can do the same thing again. She also wants to get more of our friends involved. I think she is going too far. He might turn violent. She says that he deserves it, he is only a rat. I don't know what to do. I do not want to break up a friendship over an unfaithful husband, but I think she should move on.

Your friend is in need of pyscological help and a danger to herself,

And the fact you were enjoying this type of behaviour initially shows a distint lack of moral/ethical compass. My advise to you is to drop this friend quickly and spend some time considering why enjoying the phycological torture of another human is not right. If you cant see what is wrong with this then you and your friend will have a long (very long)life together.

Peggypeg

Barracudaincork wrote: »

So i women is held hostage by two men and you find this funny? Do you really think you could do this? I mean cheating is awful etc etc but this kind of revenge is just sick and twisted.

Well now I don't remember the OP saying they held him hostage, I thought they threatened to tell his wife and then humiliated him. I wouldn't really call that taking someone hostage. Also I never said I would actually do it, I said would love to have seen his face and that if I did it I would have had his wife there when he called over. Not really sure how helpful this is to the OP but sure there's your answer.

ztoical wrote: »

What [supposedly] happened here is abuse regardless of the sex of victim or the attacker. If it was a woman held against her will by two men there would be up roar but we view it as funny when it happens to a man cus men should be able to over power women cus they are stronger etc etc. Physical, verbal, mental abuse are all treated the same in the eyes of the law but chances are slim the guy will say anything cus he would just be laughed at, same with men in abusive relationships...we have plenty of pity for battered wives but little time for men in the situation.

In fairness he wasn't "held against his will", he was told if he didn't do as he was told they'd tell his wife, he could have said do that and walked out.

I agree though that it's a dangerous game to play and that's why I told the OP not to continue on with it.

Also the example of the girl walking in, telling the wife in front of everyone is way more a satisfying example of cumuppance than what's happened here. And personally I think it's a bit ****ty that they didn't tell the guy's wife, she's the one he's cheating on after all and she should know about it.

ztoical

jenny jinks wrote: »

Under what Sections? I thought force had to be applied directly or indirectly or threatened to constitute an assault.

"harm" is defined in the act as harm to body or mind which includes verbal attacks. As the OP has only said "humiliated" and not given any other details we can only assume what took place. If she did verbal yell or scream at him under section 2.2a force here would count as noise. Also under section 20 it says a person shall be treated as using force in relation to another person if he or she detains that person without actually using it. The woman in question may have stopped the man from leaving under threat [ie telling his wife] regardless of wither she physically touched him if can be viewed as force.

Also the woman could be charged under section 9 Coercion and 10 Harassment for following him and his family and under section 15 False imprisonment again depending on the details of what actually happened.

I'm not saying she can/would/should be charged but it's the people saying what she did wasn't illegal, well depending on the actual details it very well could be.

ztoical

Peggypeg wrote: »

In fairness he wasn't "held against his will", he was told if he didn't do as he was told they'd tell his wife, he could have said do that and walked out.

Again if the role was reversed and it was a woman you could say she was too intimated to just walk out but when it's a man you think he's bigger then them so should be able to just walk away but we don't know details, just there were two people bullying a third.

Peggypeg wrote: »

Also the example of the girl walking in, telling the wife in front of everyone is way more a satisfying example of cumuppance than what's happened here. And personally I think it's a bit ****ty that they didn't tell the guy's wife, she's the one he's cheating on after all and she should know about it.

Again you don't know any details on this guy to say he was or wasn't cheating on his wife. The OP has left the details very vague and just says they "Humiliated" him...that can cover alot of things and at very least it's bullying which frankly I find more repulsive then some guy cheating on his wife. Bullies are the lowest of the low.

Peggypeg

ztoical wrote: »

Again if the role was reversed and it was a woman you could say she was too intimated to just walk out but when it's a man you think he's bigger then them so should be able to just walk away but we don't know details, just there were two people bullying a third.



Again you don't know any details on this guy to say he was or wasn't cheating on his wife. The OP has left the details very vague and just says they "Humiliated" him...that can cover alot of things and at very least it's bullying which frankly I find more repulsive then some guy cheating on his wife. Bullies are the lowest of the low.

I agree the OP didn't give much us many details. My answers are based on the info she did provide. I don't think reworking the details and saying what if? is very helpful or even relevant to the OP or her situation. With regards to the bullying comment, well personally I don't think it was bullying, I think it'll hopefully teach that guy a lesson about cheating (or attempting to) on his wife and hopefully it scared him straight.

force majeure

I just read most off the Thread and its comments and draw this conclusion
1 I have lived a very sheltered life.[veey veery sheltered]
2 I need to get out more... :rolleyes:

ztoical

Peggypeg wrote: »

With regards to the bullying comment, well personally I don't think it was bullying, I think it'll hopefully teach that guy a lesson about cheating (or attempting to) on his wife and hopefully it scared him straight.

I think maybe you have issue with cheating men and that is colouring your view.

How was it not bullying? Bullying is characterized by an individual behaving in a certain way to gain power over another person - based just on the OP and nothing else it was bullying.

Peggypeg

ztoical wrote: »

I think maybe you have issue with cheating men and that is colouring your view.

How was it not bullying? Bullying is characterized by an individual behaving in a certain way to gain power over another person - based just on the OP and nothing else it was bullying.

Hey,
I'm going to assume the "I think maybe you have issue with cheating men and that is colouring your view" comment means you think I've been cheated on or have cheated myself. Just to set the record straight my current bf and my previous bf (adding up to 8 years of relationships) never cheated on me and I never cheated on them, nor did my father cheat or anything else along those lines. The only issue I have with "cheating men" (I think the same of cheating women btw) is that they are cheaters and cheating (in my opinion) is a very disgusting thing to do when you're with someone, I've seen the damage it does to the person that's cheated on and how it tears their trust, confidence and self esteem to ribbons, that's honestly my opinion on it. You can think what you want about my motives but the fact you're second guessing them and drawing them into question just makes me think you don't have a solid argument and are clutching at straws.

Was it not bullying?
Well yeah maybe it was bullying but I think he deserved it (again that's taking the OP at face value and assuming there isn't some other details that we are unaware of).

If you want to debate this further you can pm me if you want. I think we're just talking in circles and kinda hyjacking the thread to be honest.

Jo King

ztoical wrote: »

"harm" is defined in the act as harm to body or mind which includes verbal attacks. As the OP has only said "humiliated" and not given any other details we can only assume what took place. If she did verbal yell or scream at him under section 2.2a force here would count as noise. Also under section 20 it says a person shall be treated as using force in relation to another person if he or she detains that person without actually using it. The woman in question may have stopped the man from leaving under threat [ie telling his wife] regardless of wither she physically touched him if can be viewed as force.


Also the woman could be charged under section 9 Coercion and 10 Harassment for following him and his family and under section 15 False imprisonment again depending on the details of what actually happened.

I'm not saying she can/would/should be charged but it's the people saying what she did wasn't illegal, well depending on the actual details it very well could be.

Writing out lines would not cause harm. Noise does not cause an impact on the body of a person. It seems to me the guy was free to go at any time. He chose to do what they said. Harassment is not made out by seeing the family once. Coercion requires a threat of violence. No suggestion of any.
Until the o/p gives more details of what happened no on can say anything was illegal.

ztoical

Jo King wrote: »

Noise does not cause an impact on the body of a person.

Regardless wither you think it impacts the body or not noise/sound and light are all listed as 'force' under the 97 act. Force does not need to impact on a body for it to be assault - the act covers both body and mind. Plenty of people use light and sound for torture.

Peggypeg we will just have to agree to disagree you think cheaters are disgusting I feel just as strongly about bullies.

stephen_n

Jo King wrote: »

Writing out lines would not cause harm. Noise does not cause an impact on the body of a person. It seems to me the guy was free to go at any time. He chose to do what they said. Harassment is not made out by seeing the family once. Coercion requires a threat of violence. No suggestion of any.
Until the o/p gives more details of what happened no on can say anything was illegal.

Oh so violence is the only form of coercion, nice neat little packaging there. Funny that means that in most cases only men are capeable of coercion. Coercion requires the threat of harm either mental, physical financial or emotional and she defenitely used coercion, no different than if a man threatened to hit a woman to get her to do something, after all it's only a threat she could get up and leave anytime she wants by your logic!

Nevyn

force majeure if you can not post in a helpful manner to the op and on topic then don't post at all in this forum.

Please do not make personal coments about other posters it will drag the thread off topic and is not helpful to the op.

Nevyn

A person can be held hostage in a manner which is not physical but is threatening all the same. What that 'friend' is doing is blackmail which is illegal and immoral, she has no right to abuse this man as an act of revenge or policing his morals.

The Corinthian

Peggypeg wrote: »

In fairness he wasn't "held against his will", he was told if he didn't do as he was told they'd tell his wife, he could have said do that and walked out.

You don't have to be held at gunpoint to be forced against your will.

Reading this rather disturbing thread, I'd have to say the OP's friend has started down the slippery slope to rubber-room-land. That she did this to this idiot once is one thing, and frankly I think most of us would applaud her for this.

However, to begin with we are not told what "humiliating him" means. This could be 'harmless' fun, or it could be getting him to carry out something extreme like a demonstration of coprophilia. If "humiliating him" is even vaguely sexual, then they are both guilty of sexual assault.

Lets gloss over what this humiliation was though, for a moment. What is really worrying is that she now wants to not only repeat this exercise but escalate it, with more people involved. At this point she is certainly entering the realm of blackmail, which is a criminal offence.

So legally we are looking at blackmail and sexual assault, both of which would carry hefty custodial sentences. Psychologically we get to rubber-room-land: There's the rush of doing this for her. She even gets to act out revenge on all the married men in her past. She has control. She can push it as far as she wants because of this.

You see where this is going - not a good place.

So both legally and psychologically, down this road lies a serious disaster. If he gets violent, they'll actually be lucky because it may end it before it goes further and may stop him from pressing charges. I would be worried that she goes too far and the whole thing blows up into a legal nightmare that the OP will inevitably be pulled into. For bonus points, she'll lose it upstairs.

Seriously, it's like watching a car crash in slow motion.

Jo King

stephen_n wrote: »

Oh so violence is the only form of coercion, nice neat little packaging there. Funny that means that in most cases only men are capeable of coercion. Coercion requires the threat of harm either mental, physical financial or emotional and she defenitely used coercion, no different than if a man threatened to hit a woman to get her to do something, after all it's only a threat she could get up and leave anytime she wants by your logic!

So a woman can't threaten a man with a knife, gun or other weapon? The offence of coercion as defined requires some threat of violence. It is arguable whether telling someone the truth about their husband is a source of mental, physical , financial or emotional harm to the husband. She is entitled to tell the wife. If the guy agrees to do something to forestall that he can hardly complain about it.

ztoical

Jo King wrote: »

She is entitled to tell the wife. If the guy agrees to do something to forestall that he can hardly complain about it.

Entitled?? She is not entitled to do anything. She's free to tell anyone she wishes but not entitled.