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Good Shepherd Convent Dunboyne

  • 22-10-2009 7:02pm
    #1
    Mazdoll
    Registered Users Posts: 41 ✭


    My son is twenty this week. It has been two decades since I spent my pregnancy in the Good Shepherd Mother and baby home in Dunboyne. My son is with me and we have not had an easy life but a good life "together". I always think of all the girls who were there in dunboyne spending their preganacy with me. All the babies given up for adoption, where are they now, the heart ache and loss of the Mam's and the waiting for contact over these years.

    I think of the letters we had to write to our babies, newly born at the time and the cries in the "after hospital room" from us mothers for the loss of our children.

    If any of you are reading this, I have not forgotten and for every milestone I reach with my son, I think of you and hope that one day you will be reunited.


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Comments

  • #2
    marybridget86
    Registered Users Posts: 6 ✭marybridget86


    Things have changed a lot in twenty years especially , in terms of attitudes and support. Hopefully people will take comfort from your kind words.
    Thanks Marybridget86 .


  • #3
    HarryJD
    Registered Users Posts: 3 ✭HarryJD


    Hey Mazdoll,

    I just seen your post. Mt name is HarryJD and my birth mother was in the home too. I was wondering if you could talk or email with me a bit and share your opinions on the home with me. I believe if I get an idea on what it was like and how it was run, etc. it will help me.

    I hope you will. Either way, please let me know :-)


    Thanks,

    Harry J.D.


  • #4
    MaryMagdalene
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 121 ✭✭MaryMagdalene


    Hi Harry, what is your DOB? I had a girl so no fear of you being mine :-), but I was there for the first 6 months of 1985. I think it must have changed even between Mazdoll and me being there as there was no "after hospital room" then. In fact maybe I was even responsible for it. I was told that I was the first ever to have returned after they took my baby. However, my family didn't want me back - I was too fat and too emotional and 'everyone' would guess!!!


  • #5
    HarryJD
    Registered Users Posts: 3 ✭HarryJD


    Hey Mary, my DOB is 22.12.1975 so I knew you were about ten years too late :-) So my mother would have been there 34 yrs ago now.
    I don't know too much at this point, but I recently found out she was there only last week and I believe it would help me over all to get to know the place, how it was run, the process mothers went trough and so on.

    I don't know anything about my birth mother reallt so far, other than that she was in the home there. I think I was actually born in Hollis St. after she spent time there.
    I did also find last week that my amended AND original birth cert is in the parochial house records of the church in Dunboyne, Meath with her name, etc. on but I have to apply to the health board for it.

    Look forward to hearing from you soon,

    Harry J.D.


  • #6
    kathy finn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 324 ✭✭kathy finn


    hi harry, give the tracing guides here a look, u can get ur original birthcert from the record room located now in the irish life mall, give it a go the records are public and u don,t need anyones permission, i got mine that way.
    i also visited the mother and baby home where i was born and my mother stayed for nearly 6 months. i just rang the nuns their and made an appointment to see them, found the whole experience very emotional, as i walked the old corridors i kept thinking my mother walked here with me.kathy


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  • #7
    HarryJD
    Registered Users Posts: 3 ✭HarryJD


    Hey Kathy, thanks for your post, I was really excited when I seen your mention of being able to get the original in the Irish Life mall !
    Is that up to date do you know ? As in, is it still there ?

    Is the original birth cert you got uncensored ?

    With regards to the home. I spoke to a lady in the parochial house of the Dunboyne church last week where my amended and original are on record (she can't give it to me) and we were talking about the home. She said that it is no longer active and the records were passed out to there and maybe other places.

    I really appreciate your info., it is a great help :-)

    Let me know on the above.

    Thanks Kathy,

    P.S. Where are the tracing guides exactly ?


    Harry J.D.


  • #8
    kathy finn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 324 ✭✭kathy finn


    hi harry jd,
    yes the irish life mall ar still holding the records,the tracing guides ar in the list of posts.
    do u know which part of the country u where born in and do u know what name ur mother called u, it does,nt matter if udon,t it just helps.
    i got my birthcert this way just ask for the books for birth in the year u where born. then it just a case of trawling through them looking for ur date of birth a real give away is the fathers name will be blank and the mothers surname and maiden name will be the same.
    good luck and if u need any help just shout....kathy


  • #9
    MaryMagdalene
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 121 ✭✭MaryMagdalene


    Hi Harry,

    I will write to you re. the home - it will just take a while to articulate. I have started, but it's funny, the more you start to think the more you remember and the mind wanders. I spent hours last night trying to remember the girls names that I shared the room with - you see it almost feels surreal. And their names weren't real. No-one was called by their real names so their faces are clear but their names....... weird eh!

    Anyhow the home is now a hotel. Here is the link

    http://www.dunboynecastlehotel.com/

    The fancy bit on the left (which I assume is the spa) was not there. Someday I might be brave enough to go back - I hope so.


    The tracing guide is here:

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055543715

    Slainte
    M


  • #10
    gfmason
    Registered Users Posts: 75 ✭✭gfmason


    Hi Harry JD,

    I was told I couldn't have a copy of my original Birth Cert by the HSE so myself and my husband spent one morning in the GRO in the Irish Life Mall going through the Births Register for 1966. It was very easy but just took a long time as I had to start on page 1 of Vol. 1 (there were three volumes) and go through each entry. I found my Birth Cert and got a copy of it. That was the easy part. Now I am trying to trace my birth mother. I'm getting there, slowly but surely.

    If you can get someone to go in with you it speeds things up and also to double-check each other's book is also a good idea. Take your time at this stage, so you don't have to go back to check in case you missed something.

    Good luck if you decide to go and get it. I've had no regrets so far.

    Grainne


  • #11
    MaryMagdalene
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 121 ✭✭MaryMagdalene


    Harry, have pm'd you as I don't want to publish my account on an open board.


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  • #12
    Mazdoll
    Registered Users Posts: 41 ✭Mazdoll


    Hi Harry JD

    I was there in 1989 so it was probably run a lot different to 1975. I will figure out how to do the private message thing and I let you know as much as I can remember. The place is now a hotel, very posh, I will build up the courage to go back there and step inside the door.
    HarryJD wrote: »
    Hey Mazdoll,

    I just seen your post. Mt name is HarryJD and my birth mother was in the home too. I was wondering if you could talk or email with me a bit and share your opinions on the home with me. I believe if I get an idea on what it was like and how it was run, etc. it will help me.

    I hope you will. Either way, please let me know :-)


    Thanks,

    Harry J.D.


  • #13
    shirleyshaw
    Registered Users Posts: 1 ✭shirleyshaw


    Mazdoll wrote: »
    My son is twenty this week. It has been two decades since I spent my pregnancy in the Good Shepherd Mother and baby home in Dunboyne. My son is with me and we have not had an easy life but a good life "together". I always think of all the girls who were there in dunboyne spending their preganacy with me. All the babies given up for adoption, where are they now, the heart ache and loss of the Mam's and the waiting for contact over these years.

    I think of the letters we had to write to our babies, newly born at the time and the cries in the "after hospital room" from us mothers for the loss of our children.

    If any of you are reading this, I have not forgotten and for every milestone I reach with my son, I think of you and hope that one day you will be reunited.
    hi my name is shirley and i was in dunboyne 1986 were u there then.


  • #14
    MaryMagdalene
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 121 ✭✭MaryMagdalene


    Hi Shirley, I was there in 1985 and Mazdoll was 1989.

    Can anyone remember the name of the dog? Its driving me mad :rolleyes:.


  • #15
    Mazdoll
    Registered Users Posts: 41 ✭Mazdoll


    Sr Anne's dog was called.....drum roll.....ivan

    I remember she used to get us to wash him in the bath, white husky or something wasn't it..

    I was there in 1989, good to hear other voices from there
    MaryMagdalene wrote: »
    Hi Shirley, I was there in 1985 and Mazdoll was 1989.

    Can anyone remember the name of the dog? Its driving me mad :rolleyes:.


  • #16
    MaryMagdalene
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 121 ✭✭MaryMagdalene


    Nope Ivan was not the name of the dog when I was there. It was an old goldern retriever type. He was Sr. Ambrose's dog (I think). Was Sr. Anne small with dark hair?


  • #17
    Mazdoll
    Registered Users Posts: 41 ✭Mazdoll


    Grey haired woman, id say she was a nurse at some stage, she would check you out if ya had a pain or an ache. I Remember the small dark haired nun was her name Sr Claire. Did they change the nuns up there on a regular basis. I remember another one called Catherine she was from the Good Shepherds in Waterford.
    MaryMagdalene wrote: »
    Nope Ivan was not the name of the dog when I was there. It was an old goldern retriever type. He was Sr. Ambrose's dog (I think). Was Sr. Anne small with dark hair?


  • #18
    deisemum
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,608 ✭✭✭deisemum


    My sister was there in the spring of 1984. My nephew was born in Hollis St.


  • #19
    amdublin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,653 ✭✭✭✭amdublin


    Mazdoll wrote: »
    My son is twenty this week. It has been two decades since I spent my pregnancy in the Good Shepherd Mother and baby home in Dunboyne. My son is with me and we have not had an easy life but a good life "together". I always think of all the girls who were there in dunboyne spending their preganacy with me. All the babies given up for adoption, where are they now, the heart ache and loss of the Mam's and the waiting for contact over these years.

    I think of the letters we had to write to our babies, newly born at the time and the cries in the "after hospital room" from us mothers for the loss of our children.

    If any of you are reading this, I have not forgotten and for every milestone I reach with my son, I think of you and hope that one day you will be reunited.

    This post moved me to tears.

    I wish you all the best of luck with your futures, your searches and hopefully successful reunions (if that is what you wish for).

    Thank you for posting.


    Ps. I know that hotel. I never knew it was a convent/unmarried mothers home (sorry if I'm not using the right term to describe it).


  • #20
    Chocolate
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 143 ✭✭Chocolate


    I'm from Dunboyne. The convent dog that I remember from my childhood was called Jacko.


  • #21
    Mazdoll
    Registered Users Posts: 41 ✭Mazdoll


    My son was also born in Holles Street in 1989.
    Different life time, so many of us went through there, i have always wondered where we all have ended up in life.
    Nice to hear the other voices though just proves that it was real
    deisemum wrote: »
    My sister was there in the spring of 1984. My nephew was born in Hollis St.


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  • #22
    MaryMagdalene
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 121 ✭✭MaryMagdalene


    Chocolate - Jacko that was it!!!! Thank you for putting me out of my misery :)

    Amdublin2 - thanks for your post. I'm just glad that it has changed use.

    Deisemum - hope your sister is doing okay.


  • #23
    dunboyner
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4 ✭dunboyner


    worked for years there decorating knew alot of the girls in the 80s afew were great crack but most had it hard meet 1 r 2 on trips in to town 1 girl from cork was mad felt sorry for most.if sisters heard ye talkin to them teyd hit the roof :eek:l


  • #24
    MaryMagdalene
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 121 ✭✭MaryMagdalene


    Hi Dunboyner, don't remember any decorating being done when I was there but its gas that you weren't allowed to talk to us - maybe they were afraid that we would lead you astray :D.


    Its funny when I speak to people about that time - even people my own age or older - they just can't understand the 'institutionalisation' of it all and the long term effects that it has on people. God love those that were brought up in those places.


  • #25
    Mammyof2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23 ✭Mammyof2


    Hi,

    Was that the only mother and baby home in Dublin, my husband was adopted through St. Patrick Guild, in Blackrock, and we were wondering if his Mum might have spent her time in Dunboyne.

    On another note I never knew the hotel was the mother and baby home and I have stayed there its making me look at it in a whole new light.


  • #26
    marybang
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4 ✭marybang


    hi all,
    i have found out recently that my birth mum was in dunboyne in 1977 from about march till i was born in the may. i have only gotten my info from the adoption agency in dublin, who i have to say have been sooo helpful. but i would appreciate some info on the home as it is something that does worry me:confused: as i dont want to upset her or bring back bad memories. i am in the process of writing a letter to my birth mum, as part of making contact, which she is open to:). having a lot of difficulty in knowing what to put in the letter especially as i have had 30+ years to think about it:o


  • #27
    Mammyof2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23 ✭Mammyof2


    Congrats on finding your bm, do you mind me asking how long the process took and how you went about it, we are just starting off now on the process. Also how do you know your Mum was in Dunboyne and do you mind me asking what adoption agency it was?

    I hope you dont mind me asking,.


  • #28
    marybang
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4 ✭marybang


    Hi Mammyof2
    i am gogin to try and send you a pm as i dont want all my info up on the public area.


  • #29
    Mammyof2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23 ✭Mammyof2


    I understand and any help you could give us woudl be really appreciated, we are only new to this thanks again.


  • #30
    marybang
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4 ✭marybang


    tried a PM hope it went through - new to this site


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  • #31
    marybang
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4 ✭marybang


    just checking did you get the pm that i sent you


  • #32
    gavig123
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭gavig123


    I remember Ivan and yes he was sr annes dog.

    I was there twice - once in 1969 when I was born and stayed there with my birth mother until I was adopted at 5 months old. History repeated itself and I was there in 1986 when my son was born and he was placed for adoption in 1987. I did not know until recently that I had been there in 1969 which I found unsettling. I have been back at a friends wedding in the hotel when I had no option but to go and found it to be one of the hardest days of my life my husband was with me and knows all my history and helped me get through that day.


  • #33
    Mazdoll
    Registered Users Posts: 41 ✭Mazdoll


    Hi there, good to hear another voice, its amazing its a five star hotel now, i wonder if they know the history, i havent been up there yet but would like to, not sure of the reaction. Must have been very daunting for you finding out you were there in 69. Strange world isnt it. Sometimes it seems as if that place is all just a blur.
    :confused:


  • #34
    gavig123
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭gavig123


    hi mazdoll

    its amazing looking back - somedays that place seems like a dream. Don't think anyone can really understand it unless they were there, thankfully it was only for a short time can only imagine what it was like to anyone stuck in places like that for years.. Was really weird to find out I had been there before.
    i often think of the girls who were there with me and don't know their names and can only hope they have gone on to have a happy life whatever decision they made.
    How society has changed for the better since then and that these places no longer exist.

    Hope life is good to you and yours


  • #35
    ryan05
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭ryan05


    shirleyshaw wrote: »
    hi my name is shirley and i was in dunboyne 1986 were u there then.
    Hi Shirley
    i was born in 1986 in dunboyne and apparently my birth mothers name was catherine? do you remember anyone by that name that had a baby girl in July


  • #36
    gavig123
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭gavig123


    Hi ryan05

    i was there in oct 1986 to dec 1986 and unfortunately we were all given different names and although I can recall faces and have bumped into two of the girls who were there I cant recall specific names. as we were given assumed identities names seemed unimportant.

    If you were born late in 1986 I would have been there the same time as your birth mother and can only say they were a super bunch of girls all with different stories. There was a great sense of comraderie as we were all in the same position and if one was down the others would pick them up and help them along. I would not have made it through the time there if it wasnt for the others.


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  • #37
    ryan05
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭ryan05


    aw thats such a nice thing for such a crazy situation! i was born in july so i doubt my mother was there the same time but its nice to hear something nice about the place cause i have just been picturing an awful place with an awful atmosphere thanks again for your reply:o


  • #38
    gavig123
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭gavig123


    shirleyshaw wrote: »
    hi my name is shirley and i was in dunboyne 1986 were u there then.

    Hi Shirley

    My name is Trish I was there in 1986 from oct - dec what part of 1986 were you there for?

    thanks


  • #39
    dunboyner
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4 ✭dunboyner


    gavig123 wrote: »
    I remember Ivan and yes he was sr annes dog.

    I was there twice - once in 1969 when I was born and stayed there with my birth mother until I was adopted at 5 months old. History repeated itself and I was there in 1986 when my son was born and he was placed for adoption in 1987. I did not know until recently that I had been there in 1969 which I found unsettling. I have been back at a friends wedding in the hotel when I had no option but to go and found it to be one of the hardest days of my life my husband was with me and knows all my history and helped me get through that day.

    hows things iseen the girls coming and going through the convent over the years of my apprentiship in the 80s father rispin would say mass every morning
    if i meet the girls in the hallways i would have go to the side or step
    in to a room as they passed the nuns used to give us our dinner in their kitchen at 1230 the cleaning lady worked there for years was from st patricks park magoveren was her name .funny when you look back on it.
    some girls were teriffied others were mad as in funny.


  • #40
    Enda63
    Registered Users Posts: 32 ✭Enda63


    I'm another double jobber from Dunboyne, there first in 1963 for 10 months and returned in 1981 (Oct-Dec). Still in touch with one of the girls that was there with me, the mad one from Cork!!!! and one other too.

    Often wonder what happened the rest of the gang that were there with me.

    Been up to look around the hotel and it made my skin crawl.


  • #41
    shassa
    Registered Users Posts: 21 ✭shassa


    i would like to get intouch with some of the girls that were in dunboyne from november 1985 to february 1986 i had a baby girl in holles street maternity hospital and i gave her up for adoption


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  • #42
    shassa
    Registered Users Posts: 21 ✭shassa


    hi when in 1986 were you in dunboyne i was ther upto march 1986


  • #43
    gavig123
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭gavig123


    hi shassa

    I was there from late oct 86 to dec 86 got home for new year. I had a son who was adopted. Would not have been there at same times as you but must have been same nuns but unlikely any of the girls overlapped our stays.


  • #44
    shassa
    Registered Users Posts: 21 ✭shassa


    gavig123 wrote: »
    hi shassa

    i am trying to find out some information about a girl that took a photo of me and my daughter in the hospital she was in dunboyne too but i cannot remember her name


  • #45
    gavig123
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭gavig123


    shassa

    sorry I can't help you with that - really hope you manage to get in contact with her and get the photo - hope all is well with you


  • #46
    shassa
    Registered Users Posts: 21 ✭shassa


    yes all is well it is difficult when you are getting different messages and it is confusing


  • #47
    gavig123
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭gavig123


    shassa

    going to try and pm you


  • #48
    Carlow333
    Registered Users Posts: 3 ✭Carlow333


    I was there in 1986. You are bringing back such memories, not all of them bad. Had some good times there too and the other girls were such a comfort.


  • #49
    shassa
    Registered Users Posts: 21 ✭shassa


    Hello how are you when were you in dunboyne i went to dunboyne in November 1985 and stayed there until March 1986. it would be good to get in touch with some of the girls that were there i know this can be difficult for some. It is now a hotel.
    :)write back


  • #50
    gavig123
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭gavig123


    hi carlow 333 - when is 1986 were u there? I agree it wasn't all bad the girls there all pulled together and helped each other along


  • #51
    shassa
    Registered Users Posts: 21 ✭shassa


    i was there from November 1985 until March 1986


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