Attitudes to Porn... Mod Warning Post 719

1sittingduck wrote: »

serenacat: like anyone else, I can't guarantee what your boyfriend does or doesn't do. But I hope that you're right and that he doesn't look at such material. I personally feel that when someone looks at porn while in a relationship, they're being unfaithful. Perhaps not as much as someone who does the deed with someone other than their spouse/partner, but they're enjoying it (and let's face it, who watches porn as punishment?) when they could be enjoying time with you (or the thought of being with you).

Bloody 'ell. I wouldnt be a big fan of porn, but that is ridiculous. I enjoy watching Scarlet Johanson in a movie, sometimes even when I am spending time with my wife, sometimes on my own. Is that wrong?

Sometimes I have impure thoughts about Charlize Theron. Is that wrong?

What sort of relationship do you want with someone? One where their only mental erotic stimulation is you....? Live in the real world, ffs!!

serenacat wrote: »

What ever happened to nice music, sex with someone you are inlove with, baths, slow lighting etc... is romance dead?

And if one was to record this to watch again with their beloved SO (or *shock* on their own!) would that make them sick and depraved thus meaning they were abused and had Daddy issues?

Or would it be acceptable? Because it is still porn.

Jules wrote: »

Now im not straight up vanillia, but the likes of three guys cuming on a girls face at the same time, turns my stomach. It's degrading, IMO. I think there should be ligmiuts.

There's so much choice in porn that you can hone in on EXACTLY what you want or do not want.

If you don't like the idea of a gang bang, then don't look at the videos. Not all porn is like that. The most popular now seems to be couples amateur videos/ college parties.

There is even a run by women and aimed at women site that shows porn that women would generally find sexier than men would. It has loads of erotic stories and all that stuff.

If you want to eliminate men altogether, you can have lesbian/ bi curious porn. That can be tame or as crazy as some hardcore MF porn.

Same as MM porn eliminates women altogether. So there goes the degradation of women argument.

Google male submissive porn and I guarantee there will be reams of results for men that like to get degraded, tied down and whipped by leather wearing dominatrixes.
:pac:

I read earlier about men using the "well they do it in porn" line.. Tbh, if your bloke doesnt know you and your sexual tastes well enough then there is something wrong in your relationship. Same as if a woman goes along with it against her will just because she thinks its expected. Granted, there is an element of *try it, you might like it* but women should have the sense to say no if they don't like the idea of something.

I don't turn around to my fella and suggest doing him with a strap on because saw it in a porno. Same goes for not expecting all men to have 9" dongs and rocking hot bodies. So spare the "men - only - think - blonde - fake titted - scrawny - fake tanned - porn stars - are - hot - and - he -doesn't - fancy - me" argument.

Jules wrote: »

Lil Kitten don't get me wrong, in general i have no issues with porn and watch it myself, but i think there should be limits and i do find a fair amount of it is degrading to women. Rape/paedophilia/snuff christ even the extremes of animal porn, all these things desensitise people to it. And i think that is too far.

Oh yea, I totally agree. But as long as it is safe and between consenting adults then anything goes imo. It's not all to my personal taste but I don't object to Mr and Mrs X making a homemade gang bang tape and putting it online.

But I don't think people get desensitised. I would never ever be interested or turned on by what you mentioned above. So I would never get desensitised - it will always shock/ disgust me. Surely the people that activey seek it/ do it are turned on by it and won't get desensitised?? Like, they were into that stuff already probably through fantasy before they ever saw the porn..

Jules wrote: »

and watch a porn with rape as the theme or would you rather go out and them rape someone in reality.

Sex is very pyschological/ sub conscious so it is very possible that women/ men have rape fantasies (stemming from whatever) but have never looked at a rape themed porno. But if they feel this way I think it'd better that they go to a site where rape ROLE - PLAY is practiced or even join a group to express their sexuality with like minded consenting adults. But I flat out DO NOT think that porn inspires rape. Men are horny. That's fact and rape has existed a lot longer than video tape. I'm also sure that people were doing these crazy sex acts but it just wasn't being recorded and uploaded onto the internet. There have been gay orgies since the Grecian era!

Jules wrote: »

I'm not talking about gang bang, i'm talking Mr and Mrs X making a home made porn depicting rape or mrs x dressing up like an underage school girl and mr x acting out his fantasy with a "minor"? Do people find that acceptable? Fair enough what people do in their own bed rooms is one thing but having it out there for the world to see? And im talking about the types of porn i mentioned here not the consentual stuff.

And i never said that porn inspires rape, not at all. But if you came home and found Mr Lil Kitten watching a porn that depicted a woman getting raped, how would it make you, or any other woman here feel?

I have no problem wih people's fantasy and role play. It's make believe. Fantasy is a very healthy form of sexual expression as long as the other party is game. It makes no difference if other see it, it doesn't change the content. Viewer discretion is advised and the viewer should be able to differentiate fact from fiction. If not then they are screwy to begin with.

Mr. Lil Kitten isn't into that kind of porn. I would put it down to curiosity (at best) and at worst I would be concerned for my safety and his mindset. But I know my bloke isn't going to rape me! But if I had rape fantasies of my own we would be sexually compatible and no one gets hurt.

They do have limits in the industry. Non consensual or illegal sex isn't hosted on average porn sites.

Also, I've never ever come across rape porn ever. And I would never go looking for it. It's definitely not mainstream.

1sittingduck wrote: »

... jerking off (or the female equivalent) while having sexual fantasies about - or even watching - your OH is not at all a good thing. Just like porn, it commodifies one's partner and reduces them to a sex object. If my hypothetical boyfriend did that, even if I was the one in his mind, I would feel objectified and my sexuality disrespected.
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I find this hard to wrap my head around. Why would you not want your boyfriend to think about you while 'jerking off' or in their sexual fantasies?

I really don't understand - do you think that men & women should not have sexual fantasies at all then? Or just not about their partners?

Jules wrote: »

Lil Kitten don't get me wrong, in general i have no issues with porn and watch it myself, but i think there should be limits and i do find a fair amount of it is degrading to women. Rape/paedophilia/snuff christ even the extremes of animal porn, all these things desensitise people to it. And i think that is too far. Now i know some will say that well would you not rather have a person sit and watch a porn with rape as the theme or would you rather go out and them rape someone in reality. But do you think that having these themed movies out there and circulating within the industry makes it more acceptable to do it in reality? With the idea that years ago anal was completely taboo, and nowadays it perfectly acceptable!

i agree with the points i have in bold. I think it can give people such ideas you mentioned and pressure on women to do these things, such as anal and ejaculation on her body/face which is disrespectful in my mind and only used in pornos because they dont use condoms which they really should as it would give a message that using condoms is the norm as opposed to the former.

krudler wrote: »

What if the woman likes anal? some women love it, the condoms things I'll give you, but porn stars gets STI tested every 2-3 weeks, saw a documentary on it once, when you factor in that most regular people would go their whole lives without getting an STI test even though they've had sex without condoms (of me and my girlfriends groups of friends only the two of us, one of ther couple and a friend of mine have ever gotten STI tests, the rest havent as they "didnt see the need") People have unprotected sex every weekend all over the county with random people, its beyond stupid but its far from not being the norm, and porn isnt to blame for that

I saw a documentary once on it, one of the stars was saying that getting an STD while being an actor would be like a concert pianist losing a finger. Career over. All of them are seriously careful with tests and who they are with outside their jobs.

Jumpy wrote: »

I saw a documentary once on it, one of the stars was saying that getting an STD while being an actor would be like a concert pianist losing a finger. Career over. All of them are seriously careful with tests and who they are with outside their jobs.

Exactly, porn stars know more about STD's and protection than anyone, they have to its part of their job, I was shocked at how little people I know have ever gotten tested, I've never had an STD but me and my gf got tested at the same time, neither have us have ever slept around, we've actually both got quite low numbers of past sexual partners, but its nice to have a clean slate, especially since theres a ton of STDs that have no symptoms or visual signs you have one, if we ever did break up or whatever I'd definitely get tested after any time I slept with anyone, its just common sense

serenacat wrote: »

i never said nor do i think that people that watch porn were abused or have daddy issues, i was refering to porn stars there. I dont think people that watch porn are sick or depraved where did you get this from?

I think porn kills romance in a relationship and shouldnt be used when in a relationship with someone. I don't like porn at all and although it has been said her that i was watching hardcore stuff i think things that happen in pornos are demeaning women and am shocked that women here watch it with their partners. I doubt they are doing it for their own enjoyment are more for their partners.

Oh Serenacat... What on earth are you doing watching hardcore porn if you are so easily offended or shocked?!

Lil Kitten wrote: »

And if one was to record this to watch again with their beloved SO (or *shock* on their own!) would that make them sick and depraved thus meaning they were abused and had Daddy issues?

Or would it be acceptable? Because it is still porn.

I think if you reread my post, (and I've even highlighed my point becase I think you missed it) you'll find that recording even the most romantic, candle lit "love making" makes it a sex tape and therefore you've just MADE porn.:eek: By mentioning watching, I meant making a private tape (just for you to rewatch). You think there is a mental issue with anyone wanting to be a porn star. You are mistaken.

Not all porn is made by professional "porn stars", not all porn is degrading, not all porn is hard core. There are plenty of soft core and home made romatic porn sites. Even erotica sites aimed at straight women that just feature sexy men and sex advice.

Also, please don't give out about fantasies; women have fantasies of all sorts of kinky things too. That's why erotic fiction is such a popular outlet for women. That's why Mills & Boone are such huge sellers.

Slating porn for some hardcore/ extreme types is like lambasting movies because of Saw even though Care Bears exists.

Bottom line: You haven't seen enough to make an educated point and are posting very idealistic, unrealistic, sweeping and narow minded comments.

I don't find porn degrading to women. I watch porn without my boyfriend. I watch whatever suits my mood at the time. I'm not going to watch anything I find offensive. And I learn alot from porn. How can you know what you like without sampling it??

And even though it's been mentioned already, I'll reiterate: Professional porn sites do not host illegal or non consensual sexual acts.

Here are some terms of use from the biggest porn site online

you warrant that you have determined, through personal knowledge or the use of appropriate legal forms of identification, that all persons depicted in any sexually explicit material are at least 21 years of age, and have reached the legal age determined by the governing law of your country to participate in the recording and publication of sexually explicit material.

You agree that you will not use the Site to post, transmit, or share User Content that is defamatory or invasive of the privacy of another person, graphically violent, physically threatening, intended for any illegal purpose, or otherwise illegal. By submitting or posting User Content, you warrant that it is not defamatory or invasive of the privacy of any other person, graphically violent, physically threatening, or otherwise illegal.

By its very nature, the Site may include offensive, harmful, inaccurate or otherwise offensive or objectionable material. In some cases, the Site may include content that has been mislabeled or is otherwise deceptive. Please use caution and common sense and exercise proper judgment when using the Site.