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PSAS - 300 Orgasms a Day

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  • 16-11-2009 3:41pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 13,589 ✭✭✭✭


    All credit to your man, 10 times a day and holding down a job. I wonder how long he'll stay going.

    http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/news/597993/Ive-found-the-man-of-my-screams-Michelle-Thompson-has-300-orgasms-a-day.html
    A SINGLE mum with a medical condition that gives her 300 orgasms a day has finally found a man to keep her satisfied - after she wore out a string of boyfriends.

    Michelle Thompson, who suffers from Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome, thought she would never meet the partner of her dreams. She was just too demanding for all her previous lovers.

    But she has been with her neighbour Andrew Carr, 32, for six months now - because he's as keen as she is and they make love 10 times a day.

    She grinned: "Andrew has changed my life. I'm no longer looking for a cure for my orgasms - I've found it.


    Michelle Thompson has a medical condition which causes her to have 300 orgasms a day
    Michelle added: "Now I have a huge grin on my face all the time, and it's not just because of the orgasms." Michelle's rare condition means she always craves sex and can climax at any time anywhere.

    She even had to quit a job in a biscuit factory because the machines kept setting her off.

    She said: "I know I'm lucky to have so many orgasms when there are women who have never had one. But the condition has ruined my love life."

    Michelle's first boyfriend bowed out after a few months saying he couldn't keep up with her demands. And over the years several others gave up - with one telling her he was a man not a machine. She dated one bloke for five years but "by the time we broke up, he was exhausted, he left as a defeated man".

    Michelle turned to internet dating but when she told some fellas about her condition they stood her up, frightened they would not have the stamina.

    Stallions

    She added: "Others thought they were right stallions and I loved wiping the smug grin off their faces and hearing them begging me to stop."

    Then in May she met Andrew, a divorced industrial cleaner who lives over the road in Nelson, Lancs.

    She said: "I did worry that he would grow tired of me like everyone else, but when I told him he laughed and said he would burn me out first.

    "I could do it 24 hours a day and so could he. I regularly run across the road to his house to have sex. We have sex at least 10 times every day."

    Mum-of-four Michelle went on: "I really love life now. We're planning on moving in together as soon as we can afford to.

    "I've been looking for someone like Andrew for a long time, and I finally feel like I'm in heaven."


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Comments

  • Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 35,943 Mod ✭✭✭✭dr.bollocko


    You don't think we could adopt her do you?


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,809 ✭✭✭Gone Drinking


    Ugh, the head on her..

    i wouldn't ride her once, with yours..


  • Registered Users Posts: 25,067 ✭✭✭✭My name is URL


    She even had to quit a job in a biscuit factory because the machines kept setting her off

    Not to mention the provocative names that biscuits tend to have


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,534 ✭✭✭SV


    How does he get it up 10 times a day for that yoke..

    fúcksake..once would be a serious challenge


  • Registered Users Posts: 13,589 ✭✭✭✭Aidric


    Not to mention the provocative names that biscuits tend to have

    She must have a gash like a jammy dodger at this stage.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 6,219 ✭✭✭Rowley Birkin QC


    300 Oreos a day more like it. Eugh.

    News of the World. Eugh.

    Eugh.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,710 ✭✭✭RoadKillTs


    I wouldn't get up on her to paint the ceiling!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    [Hilarious Biscuit/Dog Related Sex Pun]


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,115 ✭✭✭Dankoozy


    how much to clone her?


  • Registered Users Posts: 606 ✭✭✭captainspeckle


    ugh. thats the most vile thing i have read in a long time...


    heads to toilet to puke brains out/


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  • Registered Users Posts: 12,556 ✭✭✭✭AckwelFoley


    i wouldnt give her the bang of a door


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,425 ✭✭✭FearDark


    Ugh...


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,605 ✭✭✭Fizman


    The tide wouldn't have sex with her.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,623 ✭✭✭Dancor


    RoadKillTs wrote: »
    I wouldn't get up on her to paint the ceiling!

    I wouldn't ride her into battle.


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,556 ✭✭✭✭AckwelFoley


    Fizman wrote: »
    The tide wouldn't have sex with her.

    the tide wouldnt bring her out...


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,425 ✭✭✭FearDark


    Fizman wrote: »
    The tide wouldn't take her out.


    FYP (at least thats what I think you meant)


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,623 ✭✭✭Dancor


    Had more hands up her than sooty!

    Probably seen more japseyes than an oriental optician.


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,556 ✭✭✭✭AckwelFoley


    she's as ugly as a box of burnt lego


  • Registered Users Posts: 13,589 ✭✭✭✭Aidric


    FearDark wrote: »
    FYP (at least thats what I think you meant)

    No, the tide is a seldom used synonym for Gerry Ryan.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,425 ✭✭✭FearDark


    She has a face like a dropped pie.


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  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 10,436 Mod ✭✭✭✭xzanti


    "If I'd a garden full of mickies I wouldn't let her look over the wall"





    Sorry just jumping on the band wagon.. I'm sure she's lovely :o


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,193 ✭✭✭Turd Ferguson


    She has a face like a plate of regurgitated chinese food


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,425 ✭✭✭FearDark


    Someone so ugly, that if you woke up next to them and they were laying on your arm, you would rather chew your arm off like it was caught in a bear trap than wake that person up.
    Man, i must've gotten pretty wasted last night because that girl from the club was bear trap ugly!


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,556 ✭✭✭✭AckwelFoley


    Id say she has a fanny like a badly packed kebab


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,967 ✭✭✭Pyr0


    Did anyone read the comments below the article ? Haha !


  • Registered Users Posts: 13,981 ✭✭✭✭Cuddlesworth


    Fanny like a stab wound in a gorilla's back.


  • Registered Users Posts: 749 ✭✭✭Spastafarian


    I wouldn't have sexual intercourse with her as she is not particularly attractive.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,193 ✭✭✭Turd Ferguson


    I'd say she has a snatch like arse of a teenage boy at a Michael Barrymore pool party


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,605 ✭✭✭Fizman


    snyper wrote: »
    the tide wouldnt bring her out...
    FearDark wrote: »
    FYP (at least thats what I think you meant)

    I know that's the original saying lads......I was just trying to be clever. I failed obviously. :p

    Upon looking at her pic again, I reckon even my index finger would go limp if I was trying to 'please' her.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,534 ✭✭✭SV


    This is the best thread ever.


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