A good old hiding

jiltloop · 07-11-2009 02:16AM

tallaght01 wrote: »

Exactly, why should a kid get a beating coz her parents are useless? Plus a hiding teaches kids that their parents regard violence as a way to solve problems.

Well if the child is already throwing knives and hasn't been disciplined with any violence, what would you recommend?

Overheal · 07-11-2009 02:16AM

davyjose wrote: »

My Sister in Law was telling me about her niece today, who got a time-out for throwing a knife at her Dad. A fcuking time-out.

I remember incidents of literally getting my arse kicked - I mean a bona fide kick in the hole - for pretending (yes, pretending) to steal my Dad's wallet when I was ten. And my Mam bought wooden spoons, even though she never baked ... ever!

Am I just being old school, or are kids still getting proper, old-school bashings for being bold?

If you got the Wooden Spoon treatment as a child, how could you bring yourself to do it to your own child?

For that matter I'd be silly not to try and turn things around with my future Overheal Jr's and try some positive reinforcement for a change! Nevermind not using the belt.

Any key? · 07-11-2009 02:18AM

jiltloop wrote: »

it did make me very adept and running up the stairs with my arse tucked in though.

+1

It sounds mad but I remember thinking getting chased by your ma while she had the wooden spoon was fun.I'd be so giddy I'd be laughin the whole way up the stairs

spylon · 07-11-2009 02:19AM

tallaght01 wrote: »

By the way, the "I got a smack and I'm grand" argument is simultaneously the most common smacking argument, and the worst argument. People are not reliable reporters of whether they're "OK". The most mental people I know think they're fine :P

Yes indeed. This topic came up when I was out for dinner with a group of colleagues once; one guy maintained that he'd deserved the vicious beatings meted out to him as a child and that they hadn't done him "one bit of harm". There was an awkward silence since, by common consensus, this person was possibly the most troubled individual any of us had ever known. Still, we all had a hearty laugh afterwards.

TheZohanS · 07-11-2009 02:22AM

Overheal wrote: »

If you got the Wooden Spoon treatment as a child, how could you bring yourself to do it to your own child?

For that matter I'd be silly not to try and turn things around with my future Overheal Jr's and try some positive reinforcement for a change! Nevermind not using the belt.

Wooden spoons were ok...'twas the wooden spoon that that was used for the coddle/stew that was the stinger...ouch...

The positive reinforcement was that if you acted the boll!x you WOULD get a red arse.

Voltex · 07-11-2009 02:22AM

I think we are talking about 2 different things here...one is a quick punishement in the form of a smack...but the other where someone is set out to make a person suffer...to "beat" a child is very wrong...it serves no purpose!

tallaght01 · 07-11-2009 02:24AM

jiltloop wrote: »

Well if the child is already throwing knives and hasn't been disciplined with any violence, what would you recommend?

disciplining them with non violence.

3hn2givr7mx1sc · 07-11-2009 02:26AM

I used to just get a smack on the arse/back of the leg. Never did me any harm.

davyjose · 07-11-2009 02:28AM

See, in my case, there was proper parenting being doled out here. But -- and we all know it -- there comes a point where a kid reaches the limit of non-violent punishment. And I genuinely believe that by not taking the right approach here, your kid can become an arrogant, fearless little shìt. Now, maybe the wallop might not be the right answer here, but it certainly got a result.

And it sure as fcuk is superior to doing nothing and letting some 14 year old little dick, who you hardly recognise as your own child anymore, walk all over you ... and everyone else!!!

Griffen262 · 07-11-2009 02:28AM

All the wooden spoons that are still on top of our shed (throwing distance form the back door :P )...and da many that we're cut up aswel...awhhhhh the good times!!!!.......... :P

G................:pac:

spylon · 07-11-2009 02:34AM

I think parents should be harder on their children -but there are other ways and means besides summary arse-reddening; make them learn the value of money and other privileges, and always have to work to earn them; let them know what its like to go to bed hungry. If these tactics fail, then out with the wooden spurtle.

Griffen262 · 07-11-2009 02:35AM

let them know what its like to go to bed hungry.

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek: u monster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

G..............:pac:

liah · 07-11-2009 02:41AM

spylon wrote: »

Yes indeed. This topic came up when I was out for dinner with a group of colleagues once; one guy maintained that he'd deserved the vicious beatings meted out to him as a child and that they hadn't done him "one bit of harm". There was an awkward silence since, by common consensus, this person was possibly the most troubled individual any of us had ever known. Still, we all had a hearty laugh afterwards.

1) If the person is happy with themselves, who are you to judge?

and 2) how do you know the source of them being "troubled" comes from that?

I got it as a kid, but not for punishment, was more for the craic. Now in fairness, I do have a lot of problems, but they're certainly not from the violence I've dealt with the majority of my life. My problems are the direct result of emotional abuse, not physical.

And I turned out to be a pretty good person; I'm not violent or confrontational, I'm incredibly empathetic and kind, I've a big heart and a level head. Sounds like I'm talking myself up but it's just what people say to me, and they're usually quite surprised considering my history.

davyjose · 07-11-2009 02:43AM

liah wrote: »

1) If the person is happy with themselves, who are you to judge?

and 2) how do you know the source of them being "troubled" comes from that?

3) he hadn't yet reached the depths of laughing at someone whom he considered to be troubled, behind said person's back.

winston82 · 07-11-2009 03:36AM

brummytom wrote: »

I seriously don't see the problem with a good smack round the face/arse

Hitting a child is pathethic. If you have the need to hit your child then you have failed as a parent.

Helix · 07-11-2009 07:16AM

tallaght01 wrote: »

Plus a hiding teaches kids that their parents regard violence as a way to solve problems.

it doesnt though

neither i, nor anyone i know who was raised with a clip on the arse when we deserved it, would consider violence as a problem solver

tallaght01 · 07-11-2009 07:41AM

Helix wrote: »

it doesnt though

neither i, nor anyone i know who was raised with a clip on the arse when we deserved it, would consider violence as a problem solver

Well that's very obviously untrue if you're advocating using it as a disciplinary tool.

Now I'm no mathematician, but:

Problem = your kid is being bold.

Problem solution = a clatter.

= violence solving a problem.

spylon · 07-11-2009 11:25AM

liah wrote: »

1) If the person is happy with themselves, who are you to judge?

and 2) how do you know the source of them being "troubled" comes from that?

1) Yes, you are correct. I have no right to judge. My view is only an opinion. An opinion based my experiences of a person who clearly delighted in being cruel to others, spoke with approval of torture and sexual violence, was a compulsive liar, and an all-round unpleasant individual to be around. But hey, he's clearly happy with himself, so I should reserve judgement.

2) If you take the trouble to read what I posted, you'll see that I did not suggest that being routinely mauled as a small boy had necessarily been the cause of his later dysfunctions. I would, on the other hand, politely suggest that the two facts may be related.

nlgbbbblth · 07-11-2009 11:30AM

cruiser178 wrote: »

In my experiance its not about the kids,its about the cnuts that drag them up.

as a parent I think your post is a load of crap.

Any key? · 07-11-2009 11:34AM

Helix wrote: »

it doesnt though

neither i, nor anyone i know who was raised with a clip on the arse when we deserved it, would consider violence as a problem solver

We are talkin about a few little smacks on the back of the legs/arse while your ma is shoutin "get up them stairs!!". Meanwhile you're laughin your little ass off runnin like hell.....good times.Aren't we?

Thats grand. I think emotional abuse is much worse, Saw a ma tellin her tiny son he was a worthless piece of sh*t the other day.....

My da used to batter us proper sometimes. That was awful. Was petrified pf him til I was about 12. Thats wrong.

wooden spoon = thumbs up

fun for mother and child.
Generally words/rules/consequences(like taking away a priviledge of child) will work for most kids but when your child is throwing knives I doubt they are going to repond to a lecture and a time out (mmmmm time outs).

Dyr · 07-11-2009 11:45AM

tallaght01 wrote: »

Well that's very obviously untrue if you're advocating using it as a disciplinary tool.

Now I'm no mathematician, but:

Problem = your kid is being bold.

Problem solution = a clatter.

= violence solving a problem.

conclusions= violence solves problems

liah · 07-11-2009 11:53AM

spylon wrote: »

1) Yes, you are correct. I have no right to judge. My view is only an opinion. An opinion based my experiences of a person who clearly delighted in being cruel to others, spoke with approval of torture and sexual violence, was a compulsive liar, and an all-round unpleasant individual to be around. But hey, he's clearly happy with himself, so I should reserve judgement.

2) If you take the trouble to read what I posted, you'll see that I did not suggest that being routinely mauled as a small boy had necessarily been the cause of his later dysfunctions. I would, on the other hand, politely suggest that the two facts may be related.

To be totally honest with you I know just as many people you could consider "bad" who were raised completely normally and without "violence" (crap term for what the users here are suggesting btw) as I do people who were raised with a bit of a smack 'round the back of the head for being bold.

Emotional abuse does far, far, FAR more damage than physical abuse ever could. If you could even consider a rap across the knuckles or a quick smack to the back of the head "abuse," which I wouldn't considering it's forgotten about 2 minutes later. On the other hand, tell your kid you're disappointed in them and they'll dwell on that for months, if not the rest of their life.

What posters are suggesting here does not equal being "mauled." Big, BIG difference between being routinely beat for the sake of it as I was and a quick, sharp reminder that you're being a tool.

Sensationalism does nothing.

omahaid · 07-11-2009 11:54AM

winston82 wrote: »

Hitting a child is pathethic. If you have the need to hit your child then you have failed as a parent.

A 78-yr old father said that before his 36 year old daughter beat him with a belt. Not everything fits into your perfect barbie world.

omahaid · 07-11-2009 11:55AM

Helix wrote: »

it doesnt though

neither i, nor anyone i know who was raised with a clip on the arse when we deserved it, would consider violence as a problem solver

I was raised with a clip on the arse with the wooden spoon, I consider it a fair punishment, much better than mental torture anyway.

Mint Sauce · 07-11-2009 12:11PM

brummytom wrote: »

I seriously don't see the problem with a good smack round the face/arse

it done me no harm, although wouldn't go for the face, also got the the trainer on the back leg once or twice, sometimes the fear was enough to make you buck up

Canis Lupus · 07-11-2009 12:22PM

Some of best laughs I share with my brothers and sisters over a pint are the memories of trying to outrun my parents after I did something wrong.

spylon · 07-11-2009 12:26PM

liah wrote: »

Emotional abuse does far, far, FAR more damage than physical abuse ever could. If you could even consider a rap across the knuckles or a quick smack to the back of the head "abuse," which I wouldn't considering it's forgotten about 2 minutes later. On the other hand, tell your kid you're disappointed in them and they'll dwell on that for months, if not the rest of their life.

What posters are suggesting here does not equal being "mauled." Big, BIG difference between being routinely beat for the sake of it as I was and a quick, sharp reminder that you're being a tool.

Sensationalism does nothing.

Again, I must politely ask you to read my original post. I am referring to a specific case, involving an acquaintance. My comments and conclusions refer to that case, and do not claim to apply to "what posters are suggesting here" as a whole. The example I give is from the outer reaches of one end of the spectrum, and is clearly not typical. Obviously, people who are occasionally smacked are not to be classified as abuse victims. On the other hand, the guy I am referring to was, by his own admission, on the receiving end of arbitrary, vicious beatings for what seemed like relatively minor infractions. Incidentally, the OP uses the terms "thrashing" and "hiding" at the start of the thread, so I don't see why comments should be restricted to cases involving smacking and the occasional deployment of the wooden spoon.

Also, your division of emotional and physical abuse makes no sense, since the latter can hardly exist without the former; living in constant fear of being assaulted IS emotional abuse.

liah · 07-11-2009 12:28PM

spylon wrote: »

Again, I must politely ask you to read my original post. I am referring to a specific case, involving an acquaintance. My comments and conclusions refer to that case, and do not claim to apply to "what posters are suggesting here" as a whole. The example I give is from the outer reaches of one end of the spectrum, and is clearly not typical. Obviously, people who are occasionally smacked are not to be classified as abuse victims. On the other hand, the guy I am referring to was, by his own admission, on the receiving end of arbitrary, vicious beatings for what seemed like relatively minor infractions. Incidentally, the OP uses the terms "thrashing" and "hiding" at the start of the thread, so I don't see why comments should be restricted to cases involving smacking and the occasional deployment of the wooden spoon.

Also, your division of emotional and physical abuse makes no sense, since the latter can hardly exist without the former; living in constant fear of being assaulted IS emotional abuse.

Why would you bring up that atypical case then if you clearly knew nobody here has referred to it?

Thrashing and hiding are typical exaggerations as is the Irish way (see: "dying" when you're sick/hungover). Obviously nobody's talking about getting literally beaten to within an inch of their life. So why bring it up at all other than to provide sensationalism?

And again, why your point about assault if you know nobody here is referring to assault?

Any key? · 07-11-2009 12:31PM

Canis Lupus wrote: »

Some of best laughs I share with my brothers and sisters over a pint are the memories of trying to outrun my parents after I did something wrong.

bahahahaha! +1

same here. Even funnier cause we'd nearly always outrun them makin them far angrier.

:):):)

spylon · 07-11-2009 12:35PM

[

liah wrote: »

Why would you bring up that atypical case then if you clearly knew nobody here has referred to it?

Thrashing and hiding are typical exaggerations as is the Irish way (see: "dying" when you're sick/hungover). Obviously nobody's talking about getting literally beaten to within an inch of their life. So why bring it up at all other than to provide sensationalism?

And again, why your point about assault if you know nobody here is referring to assault?

Why not bring up a case which illustrates one end of the spectrum of the topic of conversation in question?

A good old hiding

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