tallaght01 wrote: » Exactly, why should a kid get a beating coz her parents are useless? Plus a hiding teaches kids that their parents regard violence as a way to solve problems.
davyjose wrote: » My Sister in Law was telling me about her niece today, who got a time-out for throwing a knife at her Dad. A fcuking time-out. I remember incidents of literally getting my arse kicked - I mean a bona fide kick in the hole - for pretending (yes, pretending) to steal my Dad's wallet when I was ten. And my Mam bought wooden spoons, even though she never baked ... ever! Am I just being old school, or are kids still getting proper, old-school bashings for being bold?
jiltloop wrote: » it did make me very adept and running up the stairs with my arse tucked in though.
tallaght01 wrote: » By the way, the "I got a smack and I'm grand" argument is simultaneously the most common smacking argument, and the worst argument. People are not reliable reporters of whether they're "OK". The most mental people I know think they're fine :P
Overheal wrote: » If you got the Wooden Spoon treatment as a child, how could you bring yourself to do it to your own child? For that matter I'd be silly not to try and turn things around with my future Overheal Jr's and try some positive reinforcement for a change! Nevermind not using the belt.
jiltloop wrote: » Well if the child is already throwing knives and hasn't been disciplined with any violence, what would you recommend?
let them know what its like to go to bed hungry.
spylon wrote: » Yes indeed. This topic came up when I was out for dinner with a group of colleagues once; one guy maintained that he'd deserved the vicious beatings meted out to him as a child and that they hadn't done him "one bit of harm". There was an awkward silence since, by common consensus, this person was possibly the most troubled individual any of us had ever known. Still, we all had a hearty laugh afterwards.
liah wrote: » 1) If the person is happy with themselves, who are you to judge? and 2) how do you know the source of them being "troubled" comes from that?
brummytom wrote: » I seriously don't see the problem with a good smack round the face/arse
tallaght01 wrote: » Plus a hiding teaches kids that their parents regard violence as a way to solve problems.
Helix wrote: » it doesnt though neither i, nor anyone i know who was raised with a clip on the arse when we deserved it, would consider violence as a problem solver
cruiser178 wrote: » In my experiance its not about the kids,its about the cnuts that drag them up.
tallaght01 wrote: » Well that's very obviously untrue if you're advocating using it as a disciplinary tool. Now I'm no mathematician, but: Problem = your kid is being bold. Problem solution = a clatter. = violence solving a problem.
spylon wrote: » 1) Yes, you are correct. I have no right to judge. My view is only an opinion. An opinion based my experiences of a person who clearly delighted in being cruel to others, spoke with approval of torture and sexual violence, was a compulsive liar, and an all-round unpleasant individual to be around. But hey, he's clearly happy with himself, so I should reserve judgement. 2) If you take the trouble to read what I posted, you'll see that I did not suggest that being routinely mauled as a small boy had necessarily been the cause of his later dysfunctions. I would, on the other hand, politely suggest that the two facts may be related.
winston82 wrote: » Hitting a child is pathethic. If you have the need to hit your child then you have failed as a parent.
liah wrote: » Emotional abuse does far, far, FAR more damage than physical abuse ever could. If you could even consider a rap across the knuckles or a quick smack to the back of the head "abuse," which I wouldn't considering it's forgotten about 2 minutes later. On the other hand, tell your kid you're disappointed in them and they'll dwell on that for months, if not the rest of their life. What posters are suggesting here does not equal being "mauled." Big, BIG difference between being routinely beat for the sake of it as I was and a quick, sharp reminder that you're being a tool. Sensationalism does nothing.
spylon wrote: » Again, I must politely ask you to read my original post. I am referring to a specific case, involving an acquaintance. My comments and conclusions refer to that case, and do not claim to apply to "what posters are suggesting here" as a whole. The example I give is from the outer reaches of one end of the spectrum, and is clearly not typical. Obviously, people who are occasionally smacked are not to be classified as abuse victims. On the other hand, the guy I am referring to was, by his own admission, on the receiving end of arbitrary, vicious beatings for what seemed like relatively minor infractions. Incidentally, the OP uses the terms "thrashing" and "hiding" at the start of the thread, so I don't see why comments should be restricted to cases involving smacking and the occasional deployment of the wooden spoon. Also, your division of emotional and physical abuse makes no sense, since the latter can hardly exist without the former; living in constant fear of being assaulted IS emotional abuse.
Canis Lupus wrote: » Some of best laughs I share with my brothers and sisters over a pint are the memories of trying to outrun my parents after I did something wrong.
liah wrote: » Why would you bring up that atypical case then if you clearly knew nobody here has referred to it? Thrashing and hiding are typical exaggerations as is the Irish way (see: "dying" when you're sick/hungover). Obviously nobody's talking about getting literally beaten to within an inch of their life. So why bring it up at all other than to provide sensationalism? And again, why your point about assault if you know nobody here is referring to assault?
