A good old hiding

davyjose

My Sister in Law was telling me about her niece today, who got a time-out for throwing a knife at her Dad. A fcuking time-out.

I remember incidents of literally getting my arse kicked - I mean a bona fide kick in the hole - for pretending (yes, pretending) to steal my Dad's wallet when I was ten. And my Mam bought wooden spoons, even though she never baked ... ever!

Am I just being old school, or are kids still getting proper, old-school bashings for being bold?

Aodan83

Nah, I think parents have just stopped beating their kids. I'm not condoning beating kids here, but surely theres a better way of punishing a kid for throwing a knife than a time out. i would ahve been killed for that, and my parents weren't all that child beating-y.

cruiser178

In my experiance its not about the kids,its about the cnuts that drag them up.

jiltloop

I used to get the wooden spoon on the arse treatment when I was younger. It didn't emotionally scar me at all, it did make me very adept and running up the stairs with my arse tucked in though. And I would never throw a knife at anyone never mind one of my parents.

mikom

davyjose wrote: »

My Sister in Law was telling me about her niece today, who got a time-out for throwing a knife at her Dad. A fcuking time-out.

Being rewarded with a chocolate bar was poor parenting on this occasion.
Bold children deserve a snack in the mouth.

brummytom

I seriously don't see the problem with a good smack round the face/arse

Voltex

I reckon "Super Nanny" is getting a kickback off kids.
The bold step doesnt work...its BS...my son when he's naughty actually puts himself on the step...its a gas..great crack!

Now...for the majors I just give him a smack on the back of the hand...just like I used to get...didnt do me any harm....in fact i dont even really remember it!

Smak'em I say!!

davyjose

brummytom wrote: »

I seriously don't see the problem with a good smack round the face/arse

Agreed, BrummyTom. It did me no harm either.

Apart from the rage ... the incessant, relentless rage.

tallaght01

cruiser178 wrote: »

In my experiance its not about the kids,its about the cnuts that drag them up.

Exactly, why should a kid get a beating coz her parents are useless? Plus a hiding teaches kids that their parents regard violence as a way to solve problems.

we'llallhavetea_old

what kind of a nutter child throws a knife at someone???

Voltex

davyjose wrote: »

Agreed, BrummyTom. It did me no harm either.

Apart from the rage ... the incessant, relentless rage.

smack on the face!!!:eek:
WTF!!!!!!

Mrmoe

brummytom wrote: »

I seriously don't see the problem with a good smack round the face/arse

pff, amateur, you know you should alway aim for the midriff, no obvious bruising then;)

brummytom

When I was younger, if I was bold, I got a smack. That was the way. I knew that, and because I'm not into S&M, I decided I'd rather not get a smack; so I behaved.

I've a little brother who's 10, he's never been slapped in his life and he's the most horrible child I know. He seriously needs some sense to be smacked into him

Voltex

tallaght01 wrote: »

Exactly, why should a kid get a beating coz her parents are useless? Plus a hiding teaches kids that their parents regard violence as a way to solve problems.

theres nothing wrong with a smack...but it HAS to be in a controlled manner...I alwayd od it while calm...only on the back of the hand...and only when Junior hurts someone..never ever for anything else!

Aodan83

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

what kind of a nutter child throws a knife at someone???

The kind that hasnt been beaten into submission....yet.

tallaght01

Voltex wrote: »

theres nothing wrong with a smack...but it HAS to be in a controlled manner...I alwayd od it while calm...only on the back of the hand...and only when Junior hurts someone..never ever for anything else!

Sure if it's controlled and soft then it's only a quick shock. There are far far better ways to discipline kids. At best smacking works only as well as other form of punishment. At worst, it's damaging and is ineffective which is the most likely outcome.

refusetolose

a time out bar is it?

davyjose

tallaght01 wrote: »

Exactly, why should a kid get a beating coz her parents are useless? Plus a hiding teaches kids that their parents regard violence as a way to solve problems.

Seriously, I didn't mean this as a jokey thread (although jokes, obviously, encouraged).

But back in the 80's, a LOT of my friends used to take what would be described as pretty heavy hammerings nowadays, but which were just standard recompense for being bold back then.

And to tell you the truth, there weren't half as many jumped up wanna-be scangers around the place as there are now (Mam still lives there.) Coincidence?

tallaght01

By the way, the "I got a smack and I'm grand" argument is simultaneously the most common smacking argument, and the worst argument. People are not reliable reporters of whether they're "OK". The most mental people I know think they're fine :P

mikom

refusetolose wrote: »

a time out bar is it?

Done already..... go on the naughty step for failing to read the whole thread.

spylon

I don't think there's anything wrong with a smack, or the wooden spoon. A "hiding" or a "thrashing" suggests something else, more out of control, and I wouldn't condone it.

A "bona fide kick in the hole", eh? That image brought back very unpleasant memories of receiving a boot right up the fcking anus. I think it was at school.

davyjose

brummytom wrote: »

When I was younger, if I was bold, I got a smack. That was the way. I knew that, and because I'm not into S&M, I decided I'd rather not get a smack; so I behaved.

I've a little brother who's 10, he's never been slapped in his life and he's the most horrible child I know. He seriously needs some sense to be smacked into him

You'll find you're not living in a unique family on that one either, Tom.

tallaght01

davyjose wrote: »

Seriously, I didn't mean this as a jokey thread (although jokes, obviously, encouraged).

But back in the 80's, a LOT of my friends used to take what would be described as pretty heavy hammerings nowadays, but which were just standard recompense for being bold back then.

And to tell you the truth, there weren't half as many jumped up wanna-be scangers around the place as there are now (Mam still lives there.) Coincidence?

Where I lived in the 80s was absolute bandit country and it's much quieter now when I go home to visit.

davyjose

mikom wrote: »

YOU STOLE MY JOKE!!!

Yup

My name is URL

Time-out?

Too much fcuking Super Nanny tbh, that's the problem with youngsters today, either they're too busy watching TV or their parents are

what ever happened to going out to rob apples and meander in fields with young'uns, back in the day life was alot more straightforward :pac:

davyjose

tallaght01 wrote: »

Where I lived in the 80s was absolute bandit country and it's much quieter now when I go home to visit.

They have a Tallaght in Australia too???



Edit: Ooh Erm .. misread your quote. TBH your right though, parts of tallaght have improved dramatically, but there's a generally - IMO -the trend has still shifted downwards.

omahaid

Someone who throws a knife at you in your own house is a genuine threat, if they do it once they will do it when you are asleep. Fear is the only answer. You must teach the child both what their actions bring and also what future actions will bring.

refusetolose

mikom wrote: »

Done already..... go on the naughty step for failing to read the whole thread.

i quick scanned the thread but didnt see that message,its disguised well,on saying that i think my version is better..........

mikom

davyjose wrote: »

Yup

Young Urban Professional?

Voltex

tallaght01 wrote: »

Sure if it's controlled and soft then it's only a quick shock. There are far far better ways to discipline kids. At best smacking works only as well as other form of punishment. At worst, it's damaging and is ineffective which is the most likely outcome.

ya see..as someone said during the week..parents arent perfect...they mostly just do their best!

Ive tried the bold step..and like I said it doesnt work for our child...but the smack does. I can only do my best as a parent and judge my actions based on what I feel is the most appropriate course of action.
I dont believe in screaming and shouting..its a strict rule i have...no-one shouts ..ever!!

mikom

refusetolose wrote: »

i quick scanned the thread but didnt see that message,its disguised well,on saying that i think my version is better..........

YUP

jiltloop

tallaght01 wrote: »

Exactly, why should a kid get a beating coz her parents are useless? Plus a hiding teaches kids that their parents regard violence as a way to solve problems.

Well if the child is already throwing knives and hasn't been disciplined with any violence, what would you recommend?

Overheal

davyjose wrote: »

My Sister in Law was telling me about her niece today, who got a time-out for throwing a knife at her Dad. A fcuking time-out.

I remember incidents of literally getting my arse kicked - I mean a bona fide kick in the hole - for pretending (yes, pretending) to steal my Dad's wallet when I was ten. And my Mam bought wooden spoons, even though she never baked ... ever!

Am I just being old school, or are kids still getting proper, old-school bashings for being bold?

If you got the Wooden Spoon treatment as a child, how could you bring yourself to do it to your own child?

For that matter I'd be silly not to try and turn things around with my future Overheal Jr's and try some positive reinforcement for a change! Nevermind not using the belt.

Any key?

jiltloop wrote: »

it did make me very adept and running up the stairs with my arse tucked in though.

+1

It sounds mad but I remember thinking getting chased by your ma while she had the wooden spoon was fun.I'd be so giddy I'd be laughin the whole way up the stairs

spylon

tallaght01 wrote: »

By the way, the "I got a smack and I'm grand" argument is simultaneously the most common smacking argument, and the worst argument. People are not reliable reporters of whether they're "OK". The most mental people I know think they're fine :P

Yes indeed. This topic came up when I was out for dinner with a group of colleagues once; one guy maintained that he'd deserved the vicious beatings meted out to him as a child and that they hadn't done him "one bit of harm". There was an awkward silence since, by common consensus, this person was possibly the most troubled individual any of us had ever known. Still, we all had a hearty laugh afterwards.

TheZohanS

Overheal wrote: »

If you got the Wooden Spoon treatment as a child, how could you bring yourself to do it to your own child?

For that matter I'd be silly not to try and turn things around with my future Overheal Jr's and try some positive reinforcement for a change! Nevermind not using the belt.

Wooden spoons were ok...'twas the wooden spoon that that was used for the coddle/stew that was the stinger...ouch...

The positive reinforcement was that if you acted the boll!x you WOULD get a red arse.

Voltex

I think we are talking about 2 different things here...one is a quick punishement in the form of a smack...but the other where someone is set out to make a person suffer...to "beat" a child is very wrong...it serves no purpose!

tallaght01

jiltloop wrote: »

Well if the child is already throwing knives and hasn't been disciplined with any violence, what would you recommend?

disciplining them with non violence.

3hn2givr7mx1sc

I used to just get a smack on the arse/back of the leg. Never did me any harm.

davyjose

See, in my case, there was proper parenting being doled out here. But -- and we all know it -- there comes a point where a kid reaches the limit of non-violent punishment. And I genuinely believe that by not taking the right approach here, your kid can become an arrogant, fearless little shìt. Now, maybe the wallop might not be the right answer here, but it certainly got a result.

And it sure as fcuk is superior to doing nothing and letting some 14 year old little dick, who you hardly recognise as your own child anymore, walk all over you ... and everyone else!!!

Griffen262

All the wooden spoons that are still on top of our shed (throwing distance form the back door :P )...and da many that we're cut up aswel...awhhhhh the good times!!!!.......... :P


G................:pac:

spylon

I think parents should be harder on their children -but there are other ways and means besides summary arse-reddening; make them learn the value of money and other privileges, and always have to work to earn them; let them know what its like to go to bed hungry. If these tactics fail, then out with the wooden spurtle.

Griffen262

let them know what its like to go to bed hungry.

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek: u monster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


G..............:pac:

liah

spylon wrote: »

Yes indeed. This topic came up when I was out for dinner with a group of colleagues once; one guy maintained that he'd deserved the vicious beatings meted out to him as a child and that they hadn't done him "one bit of harm". There was an awkward silence since, by common consensus, this person was possibly the most troubled individual any of us had ever known. Still, we all had a hearty laugh afterwards.

1) If the person is happy with themselves, who are you to judge?

and 2) how do you know the source of them being "troubled" comes from that?

I got it as a kid, but not for punishment, was more for the craic. Now in fairness, I do have a lot of problems, but they're certainly not from the violence I've dealt with the majority of my life. My problems are the direct result of emotional abuse, not physical.

And I turned out to be a pretty good person; I'm not violent or confrontational, I'm incredibly empathetic and kind, I've a big heart and a level head. Sounds like I'm talking myself up but it's just what people say to me, and they're usually quite surprised considering my history.

davyjose

liah wrote: »

1) If the person is happy with themselves, who are you to judge?

and 2) how do you know the source of them being "troubled" comes from that?

3) he hadn't yet reached the depths of laughing at someone whom he considered to be troubled, behind said person's back.

winston82

brummytom wrote: »

I seriously don't see the problem with a good smack round the face/arse

Hitting a child is pathethic. If you have the need to hit your child then you have failed as a parent.

Helix

tallaght01 wrote: »

Plus a hiding teaches kids that their parents regard violence as a way to solve problems.

it doesnt though

neither i, nor anyone i know who was raised with a clip on the arse when we deserved it, would consider violence as a problem solver

tallaght01

Helix wrote: »

it doesnt though

neither i, nor anyone i know who was raised with a clip on the arse when we deserved it, would consider violence as a problem solver

Well that's very obviously untrue if you're advocating using it as a disciplinary tool.

Now I'm no mathematician, but:

Problem = your kid is being bold.

Problem solution = a clatter.

= violence solving a problem.

spylon

liah wrote: »

1) If the person is happy with themselves, who are you to judge?

and 2) how do you know the source of them being "troubled" comes from that?

1) Yes, you are correct. I have no right to judge. My view is only an opinion. An opinion based my experiences of a person who clearly delighted in being cruel to others, spoke with approval of torture and sexual violence, was a compulsive liar, and an all-round unpleasant individual to be around. But hey, he's clearly happy with himself, so I should reserve judgement.

2) If you take the trouble to read what I posted, you'll see that I did not suggest that being routinely mauled as a small boy had necessarily been the cause of his later dysfunctions. I would, on the other hand, politely suggest that the two facts may be related.

nlgbbbblth

cruiser178 wrote: »

In my experiance its not about the kids,its about the cnuts that drag them up.

as a parent I think your post is a load of crap.

Any key?

Helix wrote: »

it doesnt though

neither i, nor anyone i know who was raised with a clip on the arse when we deserved it, would consider violence as a problem solver

We are talkin about a few little smacks on the back of the legs/arse while your ma is shoutin "get up them stairs!!". Meanwhile you're laughin your little ass off runnin like hell.....good times.Aren't we?

Thats grand. I think emotional abuse is much worse, Saw a ma tellin her tiny son he was a worthless piece of sh*t the other day.....

My da used to batter us proper sometimes. That was awful. Was petrified pf him til I was about 12. Thats wrong.

wooden spoon = thumbs up fun for mother and child.
Generally words/rules/consequences(like taking away a priviledge of child) will work for most kids but when your child is throwing knives I doubt they are going to repond to a lecture and a time out (mmmmm time outs).