is it slutty for a girl to have a one night stand?

merlin39 · 28-10-2009 01:53AM

krudler wrote: »

A former friend of my OH's has a reputation for being a slut, she'll shag literally anything with a dick, in the year they lived together she must have slept with well over 100 men,she went out at least 3 nights a week and at least 1 of those nights would have a one night stand, sometimes every night, and a lot of it was unprotected, she told us she gets "embarassed" buying condoms, yet sleeping with random blokes isnt? Its gotten to the stage now where guys will tell their friends about the girl you're guaranteed a shag off of if it hits 2am and you havent pulled, so her slutty reputation is well deserved imo

that one sounds like the town bike.

28-10-2009 01:54AM

I don't give a damn what someone else does in their sexlife, unless they are hurting themselves or others.
Or unless they are a part of my own.

Nathan251 · 28-10-2009 01:59AM

hmmm, i think it depends on what criteria the woman uses to go ahead with the one night stand

slut if
...she does it just coz the guy buys her loads of drinks and is generally trying to be flash
...she does it for some petty superficial reason i.e. tattoo, nice tan, sixpack
...she does it on the basis of some status lie he has presented to her, be it his job or random achievement or whatever
....she needs to get drunk to commit to the act

not slut if
...she genuinely has a laugh with the guy, getting to know him over a period of many hours talking and both are single, mature, stable adults with a genuine mutual attraction and open and honest about what they are about to do

Professey Chin · 28-10-2009 02:01AM

Nathan251 wrote: »

hmmm, i think it depends on what criteria the woman uses to go ahead with the one night stand

slut if
...she does it just coz the guy buys her loads of drinks and is generally trying to be flash
...she does it for some petty superficial reason i.e. tattoo, nice tan, sixpack
...she does it on the basis of some status lie he has presented to her, be it his job or random achievement or whatever
....she needs to get drunk to commit to the act

not slut if
...she genuinely has a laugh with the guy, getting to know him over a period of many hours talking and both are single, mature, stable adults with a genuine mutual attraction and open and honest about what they are about to do

TBH your not slut requirements sounds like people looking to start something more then a ONS

merlin39 · 28-10-2009 02:03AM

Nathan251 wrote: »

hmmm, i think it depends on what criteria the woman uses to go ahead with the one night stand

slut if
...she does it just coz the guy buys her loads of drinks and is generally trying to be flash
...she does it for some petty superficial reason i.e. tattoo, nice tan, sixpack
...she does it on the basis of some status lie he has presented to her, be it his job or random achievement or whatever
....she needs to get drunk to commit to the act

not slut if
...she genuinely has a laugh with the guy, getting to know him over a period of many hours talking and both are single, mature, stable adults with a genuine mutual attraction and open and honest about what they are about to do

What if it isnt "over a period of many hours". How bout an hour?

Joey the lips · 28-10-2009 02:05AM

Personally I always thought it "Slutty" for anyone, Mail,female to have a one night stand but then again at the end of the day if your free and s/he is willing why not enjoy being a slut for the night.... If that takes your fancy....

Nathan251 · 28-10-2009 02:05AM

merlin39 wrote: »

What if it isnt "over a period of many hours". How bout an hour?

ya that's ok if they have "bonded"/connected

pikachucheeks · 28-10-2009 02:08AM

Nathan251 wrote: »

ya that's ok if they have "bonded"/connected

Why is a bond or connection important for a one-night stand though, considering you just want to have sex with them for a night, then most likely never talk to them again?

The_Kew_Tour · 28-10-2009 02:11AM

Sorry as a bloke I have to say that a girl should not be called a slut if she has a one night stand.

A guy is a legend if he does the same thing by his mates or whatever.

I have to say though even few mates I know if they met girl for one night stand they be like ah she was one filty thing etc but I often ask would they like for her to say same about them to her mates.

Guys sleep with 100 girls and there some sort of God status, if Girl has two one night stands she slut.

Im sorry but there something missing really isnt there.

Once she knows what she doing then there nothing wrong with it is there.

Nathan251 · 28-10-2009 02:13AM

pikachucheeks wrote: »

Why is a bond or connection important for a one-night stand though, considering you just want to have sex with them for a night, then most likely never talk to them again?

isn' t that the definition of a slut though - having sex for the sake of the physical act of sex?

each to their own and far be it for me to judge...but i just have a less sick soulless awkward empty feeling inside if i have at least gotten the name of the person i am sleeping with and shared a few laughs (before the act, not during!!)

however, i personally have nothing against sluts but would prefer to avoid that kind of person myself

Professey Chin · 28-10-2009 02:18AM

Nathan251 wrote: »

isn' t that the definition of a slut though - having sex for the sake of the physical act of sex?

each to their own and far be it for me to judge...but i just have a less sick soulless awkward empty feeling side inside if i have at least gotten the name of the person i am sleeping with and shared a few laughs (before the act=not during!!)

however, i personally have nothing against sluts but would prefer to avoid that kind of person myself

I always defined a slut by more then just actions (ie lots of ONSs).
To me it was always more of a full attitude that goes with them too.Like they have lots of sex with lots of different people but never care about any possible consequences,are never careful,dont care who they hurt(if theyre in relationships at the time and still do it), are lax about protection and stuff like that.
That makes a slut to me, not a couple of ONSs

merlin39 · 28-10-2009 02:21AM

Ultimate Chin wrote: »

I always defined a slut by more then just actions (ie lots of ONSs).
To me it was always more of a full attitude that goes with them too.Like they have lots of sex with lots of different people but never care about any possible consequences,are never careful,dont care who they hurt(if theyre in relationships at the time and still do it), are lax about protection and stuff like that.
That makes a slut to me, not a couple of ONSs

yes, would agree with that description of one. I was wondering there for a while.

Nathan251 · 28-10-2009 02:22AM

Ultimate Chin wrote: »

I always defined a slut by more then just actions (ie lots of ONSs).
To me it was always more of a full attitude that goes with them too.Like they have lots of sex with lots of different people but never care about any possible consequences,are never careful,dont care who they hurt(if theyre in relationships at the time and still do it), are lax about protection and stuff like that.
That makes a slut to me, not a couple of ONSs

i hadn't thought about it too much but ya

Snowie · 28-10-2009 07:06AM

is it really that important to people...? who call her a slut and why ?

did she reject you and this is a defence mechanisim ?
or do you just not like her and are looking for a reason to call her mean things?

Call Me Jimmy · 28-10-2009 08:08AM

I don't think any girl is a slut for having sex, one night stands whatever. A slut in my mind is someone who lacks class, is vulgar etc. but having sex is nothing to do with it.

chughes · 28-10-2009 08:30AM

It's seems to me that the people who use the terms slut or slutty are more often than not females themselves. I've always been amused by the guys=legends/girls=sluts labels that are attached to people who indulge in serial monogamy. I do believe that females are harder on each other in this regard.
In answer to OP's question, I would say no.

Wibbs · 28-10-2009 09:24AM

If she's discrete no, if she's not yes. Ditto for a man.

Das Kitty · 28-10-2009 09:33AM

Well this thread would disagree with you chughes. Most of the slut calling is coming from men.

In my book, there is no such thing as a slut. There are women (and men but this thread is about women) who enjoy no-strings sex with people they find attractive, are safe about it and are doing it for the enjoyment of sex and intimacy.

Then there are women who have ONSs for reasons outside of this, to feel loved, to try to prove to themselves and the world that they are attractive, because they feel this is the only way a man would want them. How could you label a person with such low self esteem a slut and close the book? Or even in the case of one post put it about that said girl is a sure-lay for those who wish to take advantage of the girl's problems (before you pounce, I realise that the poster in question was saying others do this, not himself).

I find it all pretty depressing really.

scanlas · 28-10-2009 10:09AM

Das Kitty wrote: »

Well this thread would disagree with you chughes. Most of the slut calling is coming from men.

In my book, there is no such thing as a slut. There are women (and men but this thread is about women) who enjoy no-strings sex with people they find attractive, are safe about it and are doing it for the enjoyment of sex and intimacy.

Then there are women who have ONSs for reasons outside of this, to feel loved, to try to prove to themselves and the world that they are attractive, because they feel this is the only way a man would want them. How could you label a person with such low self esteem a slut and close the book? Or even in the case of one post put it about that said girl is a sure-lay for those who wish to take advantage of the girl's problems (before you pounce, I realise that the poster in question was saying others do this, not himself).

I find it all pretty depressing really.

It's not depressing in reality. Genocide is depressing.

Wibbs · 28-10-2009 10:22AM

scanlas wrote: »

It's not depressing in reality. Genocide is depressing.

Huh? No seriously... Huh?. Yes someone who may feel the need to sleep with as many people as possible because of possible self esteem issues is not up there with Pol Pot's best work, but Sheesh lets play compare and contrast..

Jood · 28-10-2009 10:24AM

Girls can't seem to win really, you're a slut if you have one night stands, you're a slut if you carry condoms!! Some guys (not all I know) will think you're a prude if you wont sleep with them straight off and others will think you're a slut if you do! I don't spend much time thinking about other girls sexual exploits, I'm more concerned with my own (or lack thereof

)

Ah I don't know, live and let live I say!!!

Mr. Presentable · 28-10-2009 10:28AM

Onkle wrote: »

For the love of God, of course not. At the end of the day it's only sex

"Only"?

It's never only for me.

Slutty is someone else's label/problem. Not mine. I'd say "horny". Like me, really.

Wibbs · 28-10-2009 10:35AM

nipplenuts wrote: »

"Only"?

It's never only for me.

Ditto.

princess-lala · 28-10-2009 10:35AM

The way I look at it if a man can do it why not a woman

Dublin_Gunner · 28-10-2009 10:36AM

Slutty? Nope.

Popular - maybe

Why can't women be allowed enjoy sex whatever way they want it in modern society? Jebus, its sex, we all like it (afaik), and we all want to do it, so why have it restricted to a bloody relationship and feelings?

If a girl wants a one night stand, or, even a string of one night stands - go for it.

But same goes for everyone, just be careful about it.

shellyboo · 28-10-2009 10:45AM

beks101 wrote: »

In a word, no.

But discretion is the name of the game for a woman who wants to have a few but doesn't want to be labelled as one. That's the world we live in.

This.

Jood wrote: »

Girls can't seem to win really, you're a slut if you have one night stands, you're a slut if you carry condoms!! Some guys (not all I know) will think you're a prude if you wont sleep with them straight off and others will think you're a slut if you do! I don't spend much time thinking about other girls sexual exploits, I'm more concerned with my own (or lack thereof )

Ah I don't know, live and let live I say!!!

Also, this.

Damned if you do and damned if you don't. No matter what way you play it, you're gonna be labelled something - so I say let them talk. I'll be over here having sex while the judgey mc judgersons enjoy their little chat.

dlofnep · 28-10-2009 10:48AM

Dublin_Gunner wrote: »

Why can't women be allowed enjoy sex whatever way they want it in modern society?

I'll answer that.

Guys want their women to be pure, in terms of relationships in most part. The last thing they want is to go out, and bump into 20 guys their girlfriend has banged. It's deep down, primitive, alpha male stuff that's ingrained into us.

So, either become a lesbian or wait for another few thousand years for society to change. Because the alpha male mentality exists in pretty much all species of animals.

hobochris · 28-10-2009 11:00AM

Jood wrote: »

Girls can't seem to win really, you're a slut if you have one night stands, you're a slut if you carry condoms!! Some guys (not all I know) will think you're a prude if you wont sleep with them straight off and others will think you're a slut if you do! I don't spend much time thinking about other girls sexual exploits, I'm more concerned with my own (or lack thereof )

Ah I don't know, live and let live I say!!!

You have to question the motives of these guy's bringing unwanted negative attention to the above. Id say the guy's in question have taken personal interest in your sex life for a reason.. Maybe they fancy you and haven't the ball's to ask you out(but its still not in there interests for you to be sexually liberated).

In which case I say F*CK them(no pun intended) they haven't the balls to put their cards on the table and reveal their motives so why should you be bothered about what they have to say.

To a majority of single guys a girl who is deemed a slut In their eyes would be considered a good thing, I don't get the stigma about wanting to have sex outside a relationship.

In my book a slut is someone who for example, for their own amusement goes down on one guy and then soon after kisses a second guy passing the first guy's juices without letting second guy know before hand(Which is most likely unwanted by the second guy). That is behavior that categorizes a slut IMO. I've seen it happen in clubs. Wouldn't want to be the second guy.

Women who has consensual casual sex != slut in my book.

Jood · 28-10-2009 11:05AM

hobochris wrote: »

Women who has consensual casual sex != slut in my book.

:rolleyes:

Dublin_Gunner · 28-10-2009 11:05AM

dlofnep wrote: »

I'll answer that.

Guys want their women to be pure, in terms of relationships in most part. The last thing they want is to go out, and bump into 20 guys their girlfriend has banged. It's deep down, primitive, alpha male stuff that's ingrained into us.

So, either become a lesbian or wait for another few thousand years for society to change. Because the alpha male mentality exists in pretty much all species of animals.

Well my Alpha male gene must be turned off.

I'd much rather a girl who knew what she was doing in the sack (and obviously didn't learn it in a book), than a nervous dead fish of a virgin.

Sorry, but I like my sex dirty and adventurous.

Or at the very least, more than just missionary.

is it slutty for a girl to have a one night stand?

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