What do you call your partner when talking to other people? Why?

Xiney · 15-06-2009 01:55PM #1

Particularly, online, since in real life I tend to just refer to him by his first name.

I've called him Mr. Xiney a lot, but I think that's a bit too cutesy for forums where I'm not well enough known.

I've called him my Other Half (or simply OH) but that gives the impression that I don't think I was whole before him (which is total bunk). I have never used the term Better Half because similarly, I feel that it is disparaging myself.

I've called him my husband, but since I'm quite young to be married sometimes I feel it gives the impression I'm either older than I am or, if I mention my age, that I'm some crazy religious zealot.

Partner is neutral, but it's almost *too* neutral...

Several other terms spring to mind, hubby, DH (don't mind that one although it's far more common on parenting websites). Some women say "my man" but that's far too primal and possessive for us. He is his own man.

I wouldn't care except that language is the only medium through which one communicates online, and the choices you make in your language are important in how you portray yourself. It's the clothing of the internet - are you a housewife who watches Oprah, a club goddess who worships Dior, an earth mother whose life ambition is to live off the grid? Just as you can tell something about someone by looking at what they wear in real life, reading between the lines and seeing which word one chooses to describe one's spouse/boyfriend is highly telling.

PS If we weren't married I'd just call him my boyfriend and it'd be much simpler :P

This · 15-06-2009 02:07PM

I just say OH its easier then explaining the whole 'relationship' or 'non relationship' situation.

in real life hes just his name....

Nevyn · 15-06-2009 02:07PM

Try SO (significant other) if you really need a tag.

Malari · 15-06-2009 02:19PM

Boyfriend. In real life his actual name. I don't really like using other half. Makes me feel like I'm not a whole person :eek:

Pyr0 · 15-06-2009 02:37PM

I generally use "herself" to people that'd know who she is, for example.

"Herself is coming over tonight" etc

Of course I'd mention her actual name if the need arises.

Piste · 15-06-2009 02:51PM

Boyfriend to people who don't know his name, his name to people who do.

monkeyfudge · 15-06-2009 04:01PM

I like partner. Leaves open the possibility that you might actually be a cop.

15-06-2009 05:49PM

"boyfriend" makes me feel like I'm reinforcing the usual assumption I'm about 17 (I look young, no I'm not a teenager :mad:). So, if people don't know his name, I'll say "himself" or "other half". Think "other half" is common enough it's not really making a statement about not being whole or whatever.

Salome · 15-06-2009 06:29PM

TBH, I feel a bit embarrassed calling him my boyfriend as neither of us is in the first flush of youth.

I generally call him his name when I'm talking to people who know us both or OH when I'm talking to friends that don't know him.

Partner sounds a bit impersonal to me.

CathyMoran · 15-06-2009 09:19PM

I normally call him my hubby or husband to people who do not know him, to those who do I would call him my hubby or his name. I don't like the term other half any more as I am very proud to be married to him. When we were unmarried I called him my boyfriend.

allabouteve · 15-06-2009 09:20PM

I call him the Stallion.

Seems to work out ok.

Red Hand · 15-06-2009 09:26PM

allabouteve wrote: »

I call him the Stallion.

Seems to work out ok.

Does it work out ok if he calls you the mare?:pac:

allabouteve · 15-06-2009 09:32PM

Jeremiah 16:1 wrote: »

Does it work out ok if he calls you the mare?:pac:

Only if he's a machocist

Maddison · 15-06-2009 09:35PM

The OH, himself, the hubby but if hes been bad he is the bane of my life, the ball & chain, the ruination of me, the b*llix.

Madame Razz · 15-06-2009 09:43PM

This is an interesting one in real life actually.

I'm not trying to turn the thread around, but what would you/do you like your SO to refer to you as in real life??

Are you offended if introduced as 'his' girlfriend/partner/other half??

smooch71 · 15-06-2009 09:45PM

Erin

Erin Doors........geddit?

SeekUp · 15-06-2009 09:47PM

Madame Razz wrote: »

I'm not trying to turn the thread around, but what would you/do you like your SO to refer to you as in real life??

Are you offended if introduced as 'his' girlfriend/partner/other half??

I think I'd only be offended if he called me his b*tch or something. (We save that kind of talk for elsewhere.

)

Maddison · 15-06-2009 09:52PM

Madame Razz wrote: »

This is an interesting one in real life actually.

I'm not trying to turn the thread around, but what would you/do you like your SO to refer to you as in real life??

Are you offended if introduced as 'his' girlfriend/partner/other half??

Not at all as long as he doesnt call me his bit on the side Im okay with being called whatever....except mot I hate that one.....even if hes to call me the bitch I dont even mind but I will correct him & say.....Its Queen B actually.;)

Madame Razz · 15-06-2009 09:58PM

Maybe I should have clarified my first post a bit better.

Say you are introduced to somebody your partner knows but you don't?

Would you prefer to be introduced as

This is 'Mary'

or

This is my girlfriend 'Mary'

Or would your partner introducing you as 'his' whatever offend you?

This was a topic of conversation between me and himself recently. We happened to meet some distant friends of his on a number of consecutive nights and he introduced me as 'Mary', just 'Mary', nothing else on all of these occasions. When he had left the table, said people asked me for clarification as to whether I was just a friend or a girlfriend. On asking himself why he had not introduced me as his girlfriend, he told me he thought I might get offended if he introduced me as 'his'; however I was a little miffed at not being introduced as his girlfriend, not cos I wanted to be called 'his girlfriend', but because in these situations, it was an identifier moreso than anything else.

Thoughts anybody??

Maddison · 15-06-2009 10:10PM

This is the OH P.....to friends
This is my partner P.....to family

stovelid · 15-06-2009 10:20PM

My wife, and before marriage: my girlfriend or my partner.

I hate SO and OH, or cutesy nicknames used in public.

WhiteWashMan · 15-06-2009 10:36PM

my wife

Salome · 15-06-2009 10:41PM

He calls me the Missus when talking to his mates about me but generally, he calls me his girlfriend - I'm too old for that though!!!! I feel daft!!!

Nevyn · 15-06-2009 10:45PM

Why are such things really that important?
I never see that point of doing that, either the person I am talking to is in my life and knows about the person I am in a relationship and so will know them when I introduce them just by their name or else they are not in my life and if that is the case it is none of their concern and I won't raise it when I make introductions ( as it's rude not to ) if they ask I will tell them but I never saw the point of handing people info about me and my life or using the fact I am in a relationship as some sort of social point score and there are times when digression is the greater part of valour and honour.

Madame Razz · 15-06-2009 10:52PM

Thaedydal wrote: »

Why are such things really that important?
I never see that point of doing that, either the person I am talking to is in my life and knows about the person I am in a relationship and so will know them when I introduce them just by their name or else they are not in my life and if that is the case it is none of their concern and I won't raise it when I make introductions ( as it's rude not to ) if they ask I will tell them but I never saw the point of handing people info about me and my life or using the fact I am in a relationship as some sort of social point score and there are times when digression is the greater part of valour and honour.

I don't actually see it as all that important to be honest, but it happened to be a situation that led to some awkwardness a few weeks ago.

I wondered what peoples thoughts on it were, as I can't say I was particularly taken with my partners view on the whole thing.

Personally I don't have a problem with being referred to as his. I don't think it suggests possession. We are a couple afterall.

In fact I quite like being referred to as his girlfriend/partner:o

Lockstep · 15-06-2009 11:15PM

I just call my girlfriend "herself" when referring to her to those who don't know her.

No idea what she refers to me as though.

valery · 15-06-2009 11:34PM

Him indoors, and why not ??????

Piste · 16-06-2009 12:37AM

Madame Razz wrote: »

This is an interesting one in real life actually.

I'm not trying to turn the thread around, but what would you/do you like your SO to refer to you as in real life??

Are you offended if introduced as 'his' girlfriend/partner/other half??

No I wouldn't be offended at all. I think it's kinda sweet actually

Wibbs · 16-06-2009 12:44AM

By their name generally. Only if asked would I give their connection to me.

Malari · 16-06-2009 09:51AM

Wibbs wrote: »

By their name generally. Only if asked would I give their connection to me.

I am nearly always introduced as his girlfriend to aquaintances. It's not that it gives me status but there's nothing to hide either. Especially if he has mentioned me by name when I haven't been present.

I don't think many people would ask "and what is Malari to you?" if just given my name!

CathyMoran · 16-06-2009 10:19AM

He nearly always calls me his wifey or little wifey except to my dad or his parents which is fine by me - I am tiny and I like the fact that it strongly suggests that we are a couple...similarly I use the term my hubby/husband with him. If I am annoyed with him I just call him by his first name...

I would be offended if he did not suggest the link that we have, but may be that is just me...we wear the engagement ring before we are married (normally) and not all men wear wedding rings afterwards (though my husband does) so I think that it is only fair.

What do you call your partner when talking to other people? Why?

Comments