What do you call your partner when talking to other people? Why?

Xiney

Particularly, online, since in real life I tend to just refer to him by his first name.

I've called him Mr. Xiney a lot, but I think that's a bit too cutesy for forums where I'm not well enough known.

I've called him my Other Half (or simply OH) but that gives the impression that I don't think I was whole before him (which is total bunk). I have never used the term Better Half because similarly, I feel that it is disparaging myself.

I've called him my husband, but since I'm quite young to be married sometimes I feel it gives the impression I'm either older than I am or, if I mention my age, that I'm some crazy religious zealot.

Partner is neutral, but it's almost *too* neutral...

Several other terms spring to mind, hubby, DH (don't mind that one although it's far more common on parenting websites). Some women say "my man" but that's far too primal and possessive for us. He is his own man.


I wouldn't care except that language is the only medium through which one communicates online, and the choices you make in your language are important in how you portray yourself. It's the clothing of the internet - are you a housewife who watches Oprah, a club goddess who worships Dior, an earth mother whose life ambition is to live off the grid? Just as you can tell something about someone by looking at what they wear in real life, reading between the lines and seeing which word one chooses to describe one's spouse/boyfriend is highly telling.


PS If we weren't married I'd just call him my boyfriend and it'd be much simpler :P

This

I just say OH its easier then explaining the whole 'relationship' or 'non relationship' situation.

in real life hes just his name....

Nevyn

Try SO (significant other) if you really need a tag.

Malari

Boyfriend. In real life his actual name. I don't really like using other half. Makes me feel like I'm not a whole person :eek:

Pyr0

I generally use "herself" to people that'd know who she is, for example.

"Herself is coming over tonight" etc

Of course I'd mention her actual name if the need arises.

Piste

Boyfriend to people who don't know his name, his name to people who do.

monkeyfudge

I like partner. Leaves open the possibility that you might actually be a cop.

"boyfriend" makes me feel like I'm reinforcing the usual assumption I'm about 17 (I look young, no I'm not a teenager :mad:). So, if people don't know his name, I'll say "himself" or "other half". Think "other half" is common enough it's not really making a statement about not being whole or whatever.

Salome

TBH, I feel a bit embarrassed calling him my boyfriend as neither of us is in the first flush of youth.

I generally call him his name when I'm talking to people who know us both or OH when I'm talking to friends that don't know him.

Partner sounds a bit impersonal to me.

CathyMoran

I normally call him my hubby or husband to people who do not know him, to those who do I would call him my hubby or his name. I don't like the term other half any more as I am very proud to be married to him. When we were unmarried I called him my boyfriend.

allabouteve

I call him the Stallion.

Seems to work out ok.

Red Hand

allabouteve wrote: »

I call him the Stallion.

Seems to work out ok.

Does it work out ok if he calls you the mare?:pac:

allabouteve

Jeremiah 16:1 wrote: »

Does it work out ok if he calls you the mare?:pac:

Only if he's a machocist

Maddison

The OH, himself, the hubby but if hes been bad he is the bane of my life, the ball & chain, the ruination of me, the b*llix.

Madame Razz

This is an interesting one in real life actually.

I'm not trying to turn the thread around, but what would you/do you like your SO to refer to you as in real life??

Are you offended if introduced as 'his' girlfriend/partner/other half??

smooch71

Erin









Erin Doors........geddit?

SeekUp

Madame Razz wrote: »

I'm not trying to turn the thread around, but what would you/do you like your SO to refer to you as in real life??

Are you offended if introduced as 'his' girlfriend/partner/other half??

I think I'd only be offended if he called me his b*tch or something. (We save that kind of talk for elsewhere. )

Maddison

Madame Razz wrote: »

This is an interesting one in real life actually.

I'm not trying to turn the thread around, but what would you/do you like your SO to refer to you as in real life??

Are you offended if introduced as 'his' girlfriend/partner/other half??

Not at all as long as he doesnt call me his bit on the side Im okay with being called whatever....except mot I hate that one.....even if hes to call me the bitch I dont even mind but I will correct him & say.....Its Queen B actually.;)

Madame Razz

Maybe I should have clarified my first post a bit better.

Say you are introduced to somebody your partner knows but you don't?

Would you prefer to be introduced as

This is 'Mary'

or

This is my girlfriend 'Mary'

Or would your partner introducing you as 'his' whatever offend you?

This was a topic of conversation between me and himself recently. We happened to meet some distant friends of his on a number of consecutive nights and he introduced me as 'Mary', just 'Mary', nothing else on all of these occasions. When he had left the table, said people asked me for clarification as to whether I was just a friend or a girlfriend. On asking himself why he had not introduced me as his girlfriend, he told me he thought I might get offended if he introduced me as 'his'; however I was a little miffed at not being introduced as his girlfriend, not cos I wanted to be called 'his girlfriend', but because in these situations, it was an identifier moreso than anything else.

Thoughts anybody??

Maddison

This is the OH P.....to friends
This is my partner P.....to family

stovelid

My wife, and before marriage: my girlfriend or my partner.

I hate SO and OH, or cutesy nicknames used in public.

WhiteWashMan

my wife

Salome

He calls me the Missus when talking to his mates about me but generally, he calls me his girlfriend - I'm too old for that though!!!! I feel daft!!!

Nevyn

Why are such things really that important?
I never see that point of doing that, either the person I am talking to is in my life and knows about the person I am in a relationship and so will know them when I introduce them just by their name or else they are not in my life and if that is the case it is none of their concern and I won't raise it when I make introductions ( as it's rude not to ) if they ask I will tell them but I never saw the point of handing people info about me and my life or using the fact I am in a relationship as some sort of social point score and there are times when digression is the greater part of valour and honour.

Madame Razz

Thaedydal wrote: »

Why are such things really that important?
I never see that point of doing that, either the person I am talking to is in my life and knows about the person I am in a relationship and so will know them when I introduce them just by their name or else they are not in my life and if that is the case it is none of their concern and I won't raise it when I make introductions ( as it's rude not to ) if they ask I will tell them but I never saw the point of handing people info about me and my life or using the fact I am in a relationship as some sort of social point score and there are times when digression is the greater part of valour and honour.

I don't actually see it as all that important to be honest, but it happened to be a situation that led to some awkwardness a few weeks ago.

I wondered what peoples thoughts on it were, as I can't say I was particularly taken with my partners view on the whole thing.

Personally I don't have a problem with being referred to as his. I don't think it suggests possession. We are a couple afterall.

In fact I quite like being referred to as his girlfriend/partner:o

Lockstep

I just call my girlfriend "herself" when referring to her to those who don't know her.

No idea what she refers to me as though.

valery

Him indoors, and why not ??????

Piste

Madame Razz wrote: »

This is an interesting one in real life actually.

I'm not trying to turn the thread around, but what would you/do you like your SO to refer to you as in real life??

Are you offended if introduced as 'his' girlfriend/partner/other half??

No I wouldn't be offended at all. I think it's kinda sweet actually

Wibbs

By their name generally. Only if asked would I give their connection to me.

Malari

Wibbs wrote: »

By their name generally. Only if asked would I give their connection to me.

I am nearly always introduced as his girlfriend to aquaintances. It's not that it gives me status but there's nothing to hide either. Especially if he has mentioned me by name when I haven't been present.

I don't think many people would ask "and what is Malari to you?" if just given my name!

CathyMoran

He nearly always calls me his wifey or little wifey except to my dad or his parents which is fine by me - I am tiny and I like the fact that it strongly suggests that we are a couple...similarly I use the term my hubby/husband with him. If I am annoyed with him I just call him by his first name...

I would be offended if he did not suggest the link that we have, but may be that is just me...we wear the engagement ring before we are married (normally) and not all men wear wedding rings afterwards (though my husband does) so I think that it is only fair.

hobochris

I reffer to her by her name with friends, or 'herself' with people I don't know to well.. Or sometime joking with strangers "The boss".. I.e. guy in sales shop trying to sell me something more expensive then a cheaper just as effective product "I'll have to run that by the boss"

Xiney

I hate the term wifey. Absolutely loathe it.

hobochris

Xiney wrote: »

I hate the term wifey. Absolutely loathe it.

+1

I also hate when mothers refer to their kids as DD(darling daughter) Or DS (Darling Son) as usually the truth is far from this description.

If more parents washed the crap out of their eyes and released there little angles are ****ing brats and smacked them accordingly the world would be a better place.

But no, they'd rather let them run wild and jump on anyone from a great height who so dares as mention the actions of their kids, of course "Their angles would never do that". In fact the parents need to be smacked and then they can pass it onto the kids.

</rant>

Mrs Fed

I use his first name when talking to people that know him or my husband when talking to people who don't know him.

Simple as that!

LauraLoo

monkeyfudge wrote: »

I like partner. Leaves open the possibility that you might actually be a cop.

i never quite liked partner... until now:cool:

"can it wax works"

aoibhebree

If I'm talking to people that know him, I'd say his name. Otherwise I'd refer to him as "my boyfriend" or "my fiance". Generally "my boyfriend" if I don't know the person I'm talking to well, because I'm quite young to be engaged and if I say "my fiance" the conversation tends to go off on a big tangent.

He usually refers to me as "herself" or "the missus" :rolleyes:

Xiney

yeah... it's the whole "aren't you a bit young to be married?" thing that makes me somewhat avoid saying "husband" online.

Not so much now, but when I was 20... boy did I ever dread the inevitable "holy crap you're mental"

valery

aoibhebree wrote: »

If I'm talking to people that know him, I'd say his name. Otherwise I'd refer to him as "my boyfriend" or "my fiance". Generally "my boyfriend" if I don't know the person I'm talking to well, because I'm quite young to be engaged and if I say "my fiance" the conversation tends to go off on a big tangent.

He usually refers to me as "herself" or "the missus" :rolleyes:

Thats just the wiring difference between" us and them" AND THATS OK.

Nevyn

Xiney wrote: »

yeah... it's the whole "aren't you a bit young to be married?" thing that makes me somewhat avoid saying "husband" online.

Not so much now, but when I was 20... boy did I ever dread the inevitable "holy crap you're mental"

Bollix to that tbh, you are happy enough to have married him and are pleased what he is your husband then not acknowledging that due to other people's retarded assumptions is just, just wrong imho.

Sorry but I can get very riled up when it comes to people not observing/honouring the law of the couple or showing their spouse the courtesy and entitlement due them.

Xiney if you are happy and proud to be married to him then do by all accounts say that he is your husband and if other people have a problem then that is their problem don't let their issues mean you don't honour the man you are married to by not saying he is the man you are married to.

Sorry rant over.

Saruman

I call my wife, my "wife" unless I am talking to people who know us (and thus who she is) and I user her name.

aoibhebree

It's not that I'm ashamed of being engaged - couldn't be happier or prouder to be honest. It's just that if I'm talking to someone I don't know well and probably won't talk to again, it's a bit pointless to mention "my fiance" in conversation because I almost invariably get the whole, "What? What age are you? What do your parents think? Shouldn't you be off travelling the world/focussing on your career/having fun?" etc.

I wouldn't have a problem with defending my relationship when needs be to people who I actually know, and whose opinion I respect, but I really don't feel the need to justify it to the rest of the world.

(For the record, I'm not that young - 24 - and I am travelling, focussing on my career, and having a whole lot of fun ... I'm just lucky enough to have met an amazing guy to share it all with me )

Nevyn

aoibhebree wrote: »

It's not that I'm ashamed of being engaged - couldn't be happier or prouder to be honest. It's just that if I'm talking to someone I don't know well and probably won't talk to again, it's a bit pointless to mention "my fiance" in conversation because I almost invariably get the whole, "What? What age are you? What do your parents think? Shouldn't you be off travelling the world/focussing on your career/having fun?" etc.


I wouldn't have a problem with defending my relationship when needs be to people who I actually know, and whose opinion I respect, but I really don't feel the need to justify it to the rest of the world.

(For the record, I'm not that young - 24 - and I am travelling, focussing on my career, and having a whole lot of fun ... I'm just lucky enough to have met an amazing guy to share it all with me )

People like that get right up my nose, talk about rude.

Saruman

I got married at 24 When nosey people say that is very young I think about telling them to shove it but I am too nice so simply point out that in times gone by I would have been married before I even did my Junior cert!

fikay

My imaginary friend.

God I'm so alone.

Sob.:D

skywards

hobochris wrote: »

+1

I also hate when mothers refer to their kids as DD(darling daughter) Or DS (Darling Son) as usually the truth is far from this description.

If more parents washed the crap out of their eyes and released there little angles are ****ing brats and smacked them accordingly the world would be a better place.

But no, they'd rather let them run wild and jump on anyone from a great height who so dares as mention the actions of their kids, of course "Their angles would never do that". In fact the parents need to be smacked and then they can pass it onto the kids.

</rant>

Well, theoretically, it could be "damn daughter", "damn son" or just DK (damn kids!) :pac:

hobochris

skywards wrote: »

Well, theoretically, it could be "damn daughter", "damn son" or just DK (damn kids!) :pac:

here's hoping.. I'm not holding my breath though, usually the ones that use it are so pretentious that the only times they take their heads out of their own arses is to check if the weather has changed.

skywards

hobochris wrote: »

here's hoping.. I'm not holding my breath though, usually the ones the use it are so pretentious that the only times they take their heads out of their own arses is to check if the weather has changed.

But surely you don't mean their little prince could ever POSSIBLY do anything wrong? SHAME! :pac:

Nevyn

Yes some people are idiots and some of them have children this is hardly news.

hobochris

skywards wrote: »

But surely you don't mean their little prince could ever POSSIBLY do anything wrong? SHAME! :pac:

I know, who could imagine such a thing? there will be no platinum MasterCard for their 10th birthday.

Thaedydal wrote: »

Yes some people are idiots and some of them have children this is hardly news.

fair point,we have drifted off topic a bit.

<back on topic>

I sometimes also call her "the misses" in the company of strangers.

skywards

Thaedydal wrote: »

Yes some people are idiots and some of them have children this is hardly news.

Speaking of idiots, my mother had me convinced until I was 7 that there was a test to be a mother and those who failed became fathers. I should have known then and there that there was a divorce coming . I can't believe I fell for that one though :eek:.


Drifting back on topic, I have no idea what I'd refer to someone as, probably mr skywards unless I was feeling clever and invented something else :pac: