Agony Auntie Fred

Queen-Mise · 26-02-2009 11:56AM

Dear Aunty Nerin,

I can't decide between strawberry or chocalate to put on my pancakes. Help please.

queen-mise

Nerin · 26-02-2009 11:57AM

queen-mise wrote: »

Dear Aunty Nerin,

I can't decide between strawberry or chocalate to put on my pancakes. Help please.

queen-mise

Maple syrup.

colrow · 26-02-2009 12:21PM

Dear Agony Aunt Queenie,

Please come back this nerin has nothing like your insight, and ability to solve all our problems.

How can we get rid of him ?

Queen-Mise · 26-02-2009 12:26PM

Dear colrow,

it is no problem to get rid of nerin, he is really an imposter in the CN's, he is really a part of the Nocturnal Forum. So threaten him with sunlight and stakes and he will go back to where 'IT' came from.

I have returned to be you Agony Auntie Fred.

thanks

Queen-mise

colrow · 26-02-2009 12:30PM

Dear Aunty Queenis,

I'm so happy, I've used a whole b ox of kleenex weeping with joy, but I have now got addicted to mr kiplings little french fancieds, it started off as just comfort eating, but now I am addictged to them,

How can you help

Nerin · 26-02-2009 12:35PM

colrow wrote: »

Dear Aunty Queenis,

I'm so happy, I've used a whole b ox of kleenex weeping with joy, but I have now got addicted to mr kiplings little french fancieds, it started off as just comfort eating, but now I am addictged to them,

How can you help

Fire. And lots of it!

Nerin · 26-02-2009 12:36PM

My throne has been usurped. Hmmm. I must now plan my revenge. *steals away into the shade*

Queen-Mise · 26-02-2009 12:38PM

Dear colrow,

Those little french fancies are no substitute for true love and companionship in your life. I think you need to go to a proper french brothel, and meet a nice french maid who will look after those needs.

Thanks
Queen-mise

colrow · 26-02-2009 01:11PM

Dear Queen Mise

Thank you.

Have you got a french maids costume, maybe you can hire one at dublin airport, what would be the charge

What percentage WAT (wear n tear) no you charge.

Yours rampantly

colrow

HugoIrl · 26-02-2009 09:40PM

Dear Queen Mise,

I have a problem I am in love with my neighbour, she's great i always she her struting around in the morning & like myself loves to go for a run in the evenings and she has a great gallop! Is it strange the she's a horse!? *Neigh*

Queen-Mise · 27-02-2009 12:00AM

Nerin wrote: »

My throne has been usurped. Hmmm. I must now plan my revenge. *steals away into the shade*

stay in the shadows, you are no longer wanted

:D:D:D

Queen-Mise · 27-02-2009 12:08AM

HugoIrl wrote: »

Dear Queen Mise,

I have a problem I am in love with my neighbour, she's great i always she her struting around in the morning & like myself loves to go for a run in the evenings and she has a great gallop! Is it strange the she's a horse!? *Neigh*

Dear HugoIrl,

By all means continue on a relationship with your *neigh*bour. She sounds like a fine filly. Enjoy your walk in the evenings, make sure to try and find some common interests for the two of you to do together.
I'm glad you won't be making the mistake of Mr Hands. I have included the wikipedia link for you perusal: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenneth_Pinyan

Thanks
Queen-mise

colrow · 27-02-2009 07:21AM

Dear Queen Mise

I am homeless through everybody elses fault, do youi think I would be able to live in Dublin airport, or could you let me sleep in your doghouse, I'm used tio being in the doghouse

Queen-Mise · 27-02-2009 10:17AM

colrow wrote: »

Dear Queen Mise

I am homeless through everybody elses fault, do youi think I would be able to live in Dublin airport, or could you let me sleep in your doghouse, I'm used tio being in the doghouse

Dear colrow,

By all means you can live in my doghouse, you will have to share with my other two dogs though. I will have to put a collar on you as I do with all my other dogs, if you have any issues with this I won't be able to let you in the doghouse.
As for Dublin Airport, my doghouse is far more comfortable, I provide food and water and blanket for you to sleep on.

Thanks
Queen-mise

colrow · 27-02-2009 10:25AM

queen-mise wrote: »

Dear colrow,

By all means you can live in my doghouse, you will have to share with my other two dogs though. I will have to put a collar on you as I do with all my other dogs, if you have any issues with this I won't be able to let you in the doghouse.
As for Dublin Airport, my doghouse is far more comfortable, I provide food and water and blanket for you to sleep on.

Thanks
Queen-mise

Woof woof. As I'll be there as a guard dog, what kind of remuneration can I expect, have you got plenty of hobnobs, and can i sleep on the end of your bed ?

Melted M&M · 28-02-2009 12:01AM

hummmmmmm be careful what you say they might "fix" you

kerash · 28-02-2009 12:05AM

Dear aunty/uncle fred queen nerin mise

Peoples on teh interwebs keep mistaking me for a mans when I am infact a wimmins, what can I do about this, please advise?

Melted M&M · 28-02-2009 12:23AM

kerash wrote: »

Dear aunty/uncle fred queen nerin mise

Peoples on teh interwebs keep mistaking me for a mans when I am infact a wimmins, what can I do about this, please advise?

Kerash I deeply apologise

kerash · 28-02-2009 12:28AM

apology accepted, I'm afraid though you're not the first and you wont be the last

:pac:

colrow · 28-02-2009 06:13AM

kerash wrote: »

Dear aunty/uncle fred queen nerin mise

Peoples on teh interwebs keep mistaking me for a mans when I am infact a wimmins, what can I do about this, please advise?

Dera Kerash,

But you seem so sensible, clear headed and lucid in your emails.
The best thing to do is I'll meet you behind the bike sheds at dublin airport, and get queen mise to verify that you id s womsnz, then she will issue a Royal Seal that you dangle on your Tiara.

In the meantime I suggest you have plenty of cups of tea and hobnobs

anubty fred

colrow · 28-02-2009 06:54AM

Melted M&M wrote: »

hummmmmmm be careful what you say they might "fix" you

Dear MM&M,,

Thank you so much for caring to point out my mistake, its lonely here, Queen Mise sent me on a secret mission to capture scootland for herself.

They have Deep Fried Mars Bars here, sounds repugnant doesn't it, also Deep Fried Pizza's, so it won't be too hard conkering them, they'll all be cardiac arresting soon.

You just reward yourself with a nice cup of tea and 2 hobknobs.

colrow · 03-04-2009 05:56AM

Dear Auntie Queenie Babe,

I've just got a mortgage to buy my house, and now I've been offered a job in Osstralia, do you know if they sell Hobknobs there ? And would you be able to fly across occaisonly with your baby oil and rubber gloves, to give me a good seeing to ?

Queen-Mise · 03-04-2009 08:49AM

colrow wrote: »

Dear Auntie Queenie Babe,

I've just got a mortgage to buy my house, and now I've been offered a job in Osstralia, do you know if they sell Hobknobs there ? And would you be able to fly across occaisonly with your baby oil and rubber gloves, to give me a good seeing to ?

Dear Colrow,

Yes they do sell HobNobs in Oz, they are specialist shops that sell them. Also there is no problem at all flying out with the Johnson's baby oil, although I prefer latex gloves to the rubber ones. I presume your firm is going to pay for these essential visits. I have many contacts for those services between my visits.

Thanks
Queen-Mise

colrow · 03-04-2009 09:28AM

Dear Aunty Queenie,

Yeah they will pay me for your expenses, but I'll be keeping them for myself, cos you got your own plane and everything your minions will fund you.

I been told to look out for a girl calle Baabaara is she a relation of yours ?

dara95 · 04-04-2009 07:13PM

i woke up today and when i opened my eyes i could see nothing!! HELP ME

Queen-Mise · 04-04-2009 07:28PM

dara95 wrote: »

i woke up today and when i opened my eyes i could see nothing!! HELP ME

Dear Dara95,

Don't you know that too much w*nking will make you go blind, that is your problem. What I suggest is asking Colrow, whether you can befriend his friend, BaaBaara. She is a fine upstanding member of the community and will after these needs for you.
Your eyesight will return in a day or two, but ease off, or else it will happen again.

Thanks
Queen-Mise

Queen-Mise · 04-04-2009 07:31PM

colrow wrote: »

Dear Aunty Queenie,

Yeah they will pay me for your expenses, but I'll be keeping them for myself, cos you got your own plane and everything your minions will fund you.

I been told to look out for a girl calle Baabaara is she a relation of yours ?

Dear Colrow,

That is very true, I can tax my minions even more, I have always wanted a Lear jet.
No BaaBaara is not a relation of mine, I have never met here actually, but have heard many excellent reports about her.

Thanks
Queen-Mise

colrow · 14-05-2009 11:33AM

Dear ancient Queenie Crone,

Do you have any magick potions wot you can recomend, so I can capture a babe for myself, I feel,m the need for a good shag now and again, whot do you recomend ?

yours rampantly

colrow

holly1 · 14-05-2009 10:35PM

colrow wrote: »

Dear Agony Queen,

Theres this queen wot loves me, she probably thinks of me as a bit of ruff really, if I invite her for breakfast at dublin airport on sunday, on my way back to jimmyland, should I let her nibble on my pork sausage, or is it too soon for that ?

What will I do,Colrow is two timeing me.He asked me to meet him at Dublin Airport a few weeks back and now I see he is having a bit on the side with the Queen:eek:!!!!!.
Has anyone any advice P-L-E-A-S-E:(.

joes girls · 15-05-2009 03:55AM

whats the meanin of life......

Agony Auntie Fred

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