What kind of Catholic are you?

Zillah wrote: »

For those poor fools professing to believe in the teachings of the Catholic Church, let's just make sure you're positive you know what you're talking about:

The Assumption of Mary:
According to the Catholic Church, Mary never died. Instead, one day she physically flew into the sky and went to heaven. I shit you not.

Transubstantiation:
When the priest blesses the bread and wine they become the body and blood of Christ. It's not a metaphor, it's not symbolic...they mean that it literally turns into the body and blood of Christ. Even though all human senses insist that it's still bread and wine, it has actually changed into the flesh and blood of Jesus.

Papal Infallibility
When the Pope says something about faith or morals the Holy Spirit intervenes and ensures that he does not possess even the possibility of error. He cannot be wrong. Further more the Holy Spirit also makes sure that these teachings flawlessly reach the ears of all Catholics.

Now before anyone accuses me of trolling and making stuff up, please check the links. It would be very reasonable for you to believe that this is some elaborate troll where I satirise the Catholic Church but I don't even need to

So, if you say you accept the teachings of the Catholic Church, you accept all of the above. There's loads more stuff, like sperm being sacred and that's why masturbation and condoms are evil, and gay people having an inherent bias towards evil...but we can get into all that another time.