What kind of Catholic are you?

Trouser_Press · 01-04-2009 02:31AM

Karl Hungus wrote: »

Catholicism should be abolished. Torn down like the Berlin wall. Then all will be right with the country.

So, are you saying you're not a practising Catholic?

starbelgrade · 01-04-2009 02:32AM

Karl Hungus wrote: »

Catholicism should be abolished. Torn down like the Berlin wall. Then all will be right with the country.

Catholocism & BZP in one day? Surely that's a step too far.

longshanks · 01-04-2009 02:36AM

where is the option for well hung catholic?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 01-04-2009 02:38AM

Trouser_Press wrote: »

The "bleedy cencus"?

Have you, like Pope Bill Werbeniuk, been drinking?

That would be Pope Sicola

Trouser_Press · 01-04-2009 02:52AM

longshanks wrote: »

where is the option for well hung catholic?

I thought about it, but I'd also have had to include 'Catholic with average sized weener' and 'Catholic with tiny weener'. Too many options, we'd have been here all night. Oh, wait!

deadhead13 · 01-04-2009 03:03AM

The non-believing kind.

pierrot · 01-04-2009 03:18AM

In the process of officially leaving the church, the details of how to do so are over on the atheism forum.

SoupyNorman · 01-04-2009 03:36AM

The only time I goto a church is when it leads to the consumption of alcohol, a widely accepted generalisation but it's true for me.

Also, when I do go I think everything that the priest says is the biggest load of bull$hit I've ever heard in my life, I get myself so worked up that I have to restrain myself for roaring out in frustration.

Lamb of God..... L O L

Kiith · 01-04-2009 03:43AM

A bad one.

Tar.Aldarion · 01-04-2009 03:58AM

Lol at the most popular one in Ireland having no votes :P

Zillah · 01-04-2009 07:03AM

For those poor fools professing to believe in the teachings of the Catholic Church, let's just make sure you're positive you know what you're talking about:

The Assumption of Mary:
According to the Catholic Church, Mary never died. Instead, one day she physically flew into the sky and went to heaven. I shit you not.

Transubstantiation:
When the priest blesses the bread and wine they become the body and blood of Christ. It's not a metaphor, it's not symbolic...they mean that it literally turns into the body and blood of Christ. Even though all human senses insist that it's still bread and wine, it has actually changed into the flesh and blood of Jesus.

Papal Infallibility
When the Pope says something about faith or morals the Holy Spirit intervenes and ensures that he does not possess even the possibility of error. He cannot be wrong. Further more the Holy Spirit also makes sure that these teachings flawlessly reach the ears of all Catholics.

Now before anyone accuses me of trolling and making stuff up, please check the links. It would be very reasonable for you to believe that this is some elaborate troll where I satirise the Catholic Church but I don't even need to

So, if you say you accept the teachings of the Catholic Church, you accept all of the above. There's loads more stuff, like sperm being sacred and that's why masturbation and condoms are evil, and gay people having an inherent bias towards evil...but we can get into all that another time.

pierrot · 01-04-2009 07:12AM

^ Nice point well put.

Luisella · 01-04-2009 08:50AM

I'm a Micheal-Jackson-style catholic.

Keitel · 01-04-2009 09:02AM

Karl Hungus wrote: »

Catholicism should be abolished. Torn down like the Berlin wall. Then all will be right with the country.

Then we'd have no day off for Good Friday!

Agonist · 01-04-2009 09:43AM

I thought the options would be priest, nun, brother, minister of the eucharist or layperson.
Or convicted catholic, out on bail, on remand, under investigation or still getting away with it.

stovelid · 01-04-2009 10:33AM

I have quite catholic tastes.

Dudess · 01-04-2009 10:56AM

Trouser_Press wrote: »

You're right, I thought this was vaticanboards.ie - my mistake. :rolleyes:

"What kind of catholic are you?" does of course imply everyone reading Boards.ie is catholic.

Baptised catholic, stopped practising in my mid teens, agnostic only in recent years.

Dave! · 01-04-2009 10:56AM

Baptised and confirmed, but saw the light when I was about 15/16

Kipperhell · 01-04-2009 11:07AM

So of the people who say they are practising Catholics and believe the teachings do you really?

Does that mean you believe that the wine and wafer in church actually transforms to human flesh and blood? Or has that belief changed?

I try not to be a hard line on my own views but find it hard to believe that a system of faith that has changed so much about some of it's important beliefs is actually correct now. By design the church sort of claims it is not changing belief but clearly has over time.

Naos · 01-04-2009 11:26AM

Dudess wrote: »

"What kind of catholic are you?" does of course imply everyone reading Boards.ie is catholic.

Baptised catholic, stopped practising in my mid teens, agnostic only in recent years.

How so?

If there was a poll "What kind of car do you drive?" and I didn't own a car then I simply wouldn't participate in the vote.

The poll itself would imply that everyone who votes drives a car and is clearly there only for car owners.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 01-04-2009 11:38AM

Naos wrote: »

How so?

If there was a poll "What kind of car do you drive?" and I didn't own a car then I simply wouldn't participate in the vote.

The poll itself would imply that everyone who votes drives a car and is clearly there only for car owners.

...which in turn skews the results; because the assumption is that 100% of boardsies will vote.

It's a bit like sayign 41% of the Irish population voted for Fianna Fail in the last elelction. This isn't true, because only 67% of the public turned out. Which means the more accurate statistic is that about 28% of the electorate voted Fianna Fail last time round.

The system.... works...?

My name is URL · 01-04-2009 11:40AM

I still semi-consider myself to be a Catholic, although I don't believe in any of the teachings in the bible, or that there is a creator.

Mainly, I try to interpret what's preached as simple "good vs bad" moral examples.

I rarely go to mass anymore though and my family dismiss anything I say about being an Atheist or Agnostic.

It's really weird and troubling to see educated and intelligent people placing blind faith in something that science has disproven time and time again.

ejmaztec · 01-04-2009 11:47AM

An easier poll would have been:

Have you got a guilt complex, but can't quite work out why?

Yes

No

Borneo Fnctn · 01-04-2009 12:16PM

Born and raised Catholic. I'm now an Atheist. I'm as likely to become a scientologist as I am to go back to Catholicism.

Min · 01-04-2009 12:22PM

Practising catholic who enjoys watching non christians celebrating christian celebrations like easter, christmas, maybe St Valentine or St Patrick, you get the drift :P

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 01-04-2009 12:25PM

Min wrote: »

Practising catholic who enjoys watching non christians celebrating christian celebrations like easter, christmas, maybe St Valentine or St Patrick, you get the drift :P

You can be a Christian without suscribing to Catholiocism. I believe Jesus existed, was a decent guy, got crucified for his beliefs. I don't believe he perfoemed miraclesw of any kind. I feel entitled to celebrate his birth and commemorate his death.I do NOT believe some elderly ex-nazi git in a dress has the right to criticise my ethics and morals and dictate his morals to me or anyone else because he claims to know God.

Don't know where St Pat and Sat Val relate to Catholocism.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i · 01-04-2009 12:27PM

copacetic wrote: »

in the poll options, unless you thought this was a catholic only forum

Just because the op doesn't include other religions doesn't mean anything. He want's answers from catholics only, why should the op include other religions???

Min - A lot of that comes down to tradition. My family are still catholic so I go along with the show. They know I am not religious, but not to what extent. Still have our easter dinner and get to gether, but I care not for it's religious meaning.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i · 01-04-2009 12:28PM

Dudess wrote: »

"What kind of catholic are you?" does of course imply everyone reading Boards.ie is catholic.

WTF? No it doesn't, it is a question aimed at the catholics of boards.ie. The only assumptions in this thread is of those who challenge the OP in his question. It's pretty obvious...

Lobelia Overhill · 01-04-2009 12:31PM

portomar wrote: »

no, but the question being ''what kind of catholic are you'' would suggest to me that poll is aimed at catholics. duh.

Which is what I took it to mean. Had I not been a lapsed Catholic I wouldn't have looked at the thread.

Min · 01-04-2009 12:41PM

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

You can be a Christian without suscribing to Catholiocism. I believe Jesus existed, was a decent guy, got crucified for his beliefs. I don't believe he perfoemed miraclesw of any kind. I feel entitled to celebrate his birth and commemorate his death.I do NOT believe some elderly ex-nazi git in a dress has the right to criticise my ethics and morals and dictate his morals to me or anyone else because he claims to know God.

Don't know where St Pat and Sat Val relate to Catholocism.

Hmmm that is why I generalised with christian without saying Catholic as it would be ignorant to ignore other christian churches.

They are Catholic saints.....

What kind of Catholic are you?

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