Do you have any odd public transport stories?

4zn76tysfajdxp · 21-01-2009 8:22pm #1

On the bus out of Galway (today, three hours ago) I was sitting on the left aisle, as a drunk aged about 70 sat a few seats ahead of me on the right aisle.

As he was sitting down I glanced momentarily in his direction, when he saw me he blew a kiss at me.

I quickly, and wrongly, assumed that he was trying to start a fight and through my peripheral vision I noticed that he was waving his hand around in a subtle manner in an attempt to get my attention. To avoid any hassle I decided not to look at him in case he might be angry at me for some reason.

This went on for a further ten minutes, during which I bit my nails to look busy.

Eventually, I accidently looked at his waving hand at which point I acted surprised and made eye-contact with him. He then gives me a lecture as to why I shouldn't bite my nails. His two major points were that I would develop skin cancer and that I was "too pretty to die." It was then that I realised that he wasn't starting a fight with me, he just thought I was a woman and was coming on to me. Heavily.

He continued to talk to me, peppering his conversation with "darlings," telling me that I was lovely and blew me more kisses when there was a lull in the conversation.

He then asked me what music I liked to listen to, specifically asking if I like country and western. "Kenny Rogers?" “Dolly Parton?” “Johnny Cash?” “Big Tom?” “Margo?” When I said no to all of these, he agreed and told me that I have far too much class to like that kind of music anyway. He asked me again what I like, so I told him The Beatles.

He then went on a long rant about how great the Beatles were and that I have great taste in music as I stood up to get off. Finally, he shook my hand as I got off the bus telling me that he will give me his number the next time he sees me and winked at me.

The weird thing is, I've actually had to sit next to him before on the bus. He's usually quite lecherous towards the other any girls on the bus. This was the first time he thought I was a girl though.

That's mine, does anyone else have any strange stories from travelling on public transport?

dr.bollocko · 21-01-2009 8:22pm

I have a face like the back of a bus.

phasers · 21-01-2009 8:24pm

I was sitting on the 78A eating popcorn a few years ago and some junkie took my popcorn, gave me a euro and went upstairs while eating it

Tea-a-Maria · 21-01-2009 8:26pm

My friend had to endure a lecture on contraception from a woman on the bus to Galway once.The poor thing was traumatised!

Zebra3 · 21-01-2009 8:27pm

Some bloke died a while ago on the 78A and then had his wallet stolen. :eek:

Beat that!!!

phasers · 21-01-2009 8:27pm

Zebra3 wrote: »

Some bloke died a while ago on the 78A and then had his wallet stolen. :eek:

Beat that!!!

I think I was on that bus, although it could have easily happened more than once

I hate the 78A

hunter164 · 21-01-2009 8:32pm

Made friends with a homeless alcholic on the Luas the other week. Told me how he was in prison and all.

giggsy664 · 21-01-2009 8:32pm

This one time, I were goin on the bus in Alabama, and some black woman refused to give up her seat to me.

True

CutzEr · 21-01-2009 8:32pm

The oddest public transport 'story' ever:

Transport21.

SwirlsAllAround · 21-01-2009 8:33pm

There's something about the 78A.... I've heard so many dodgy stories about it over the years...more than any other bus route.

quebec · 21-01-2009 8:35pm

i got on a bus into town from drumcondra with my skateboard nearly 10 years ago. It was pretty late and i went upstairs to see two big guys that were drunk at the back of the bus. One had a condom on his head and was blowing it up. then it burst and the other one cracked his hole laughing.

The guy then got up walked up to me took my skateboard off me and got on it. The bus jolted forward, he went head over heels, my skateboard rolled back to me and i went downstairs.

ejmaztec · 21-01-2009 8:37pm

Peter Powerful Toddler wrote: »

On the bus out of Galway (today, three hours ago) I was sitting on the left aisle, as a drunk aged about 70 sat a few seats ahead of me on the right aisle.

As he was sitting down I glanced momentarily in his direction, when he saw me he blew a kiss at me.

I quickly, and wrongly, assumed that he was trying to start a fight and through my peripheral vision I noticed that he was waving his hand around in a subtle manner in an attempt to get my attention. To avoid any hassle I decided not to look at him in case he might be angry at me for some reason.

This went on for a further ten minutes, during which I bit my nails to look busy.

Eventually, I accidently looked at his waving hand at which point I acted surprised and made eye-contact with him. He then gives me a lecture as to why I shouldn't bite my nails. His two major points were that I would develop skin cancer and that I was "too pretty to die." It was then that I realised that he wasn't starting a fight with me, he just thought I was a woman and was coming on to me. Heavily.

He continued to talk to me, peppering his conversation with "darlings," telling me that I was lovely and blew me more kisses when there was a lull in the conversation.

He then asked me what music I liked to listen to, specifically asking if I like country and western. "Kenny Rogers?" “Dolly Parton?” “Johnny Cash?” “Big Tom?” “Margo?” When I said no to all of these, he agreed and told me that I have far too much class to like that kind of music anyway. He asked me again what I like, so I told him The Beatles.

He then went on a long rant about how great the Beatles were and that I have great taste in music as I stood up to get off. Finally, he shook my hand as I got off the bus telling me that he will give me his number the next time he sees me and winked at me.

The weird thing is, I've actually had to sit next to him before on the bus. He's usually quite lecherous towards the other any girls on the bus. This was the first time he thought I was a girl though.

That's mine, does anyone else have any strange stories from travelling on public transport?

So, did you manage to get his number yet you minx.

4zn76tysfajdxp · 21-01-2009 8:39pm

ejmaztec wrote: »

So, did you manage to get his number then you minx.

No. I was kicking myself later on though.

m83 · 21-01-2009 8:46pm

I saw an old woman miss the last step and faceplant hard as she came off a bus eireann bus. Then at least 20 old wimmens came out of nowhere and proceeded to bait the driver with their hangbags because he "should have been there to catch her."

Needless to say, i died laughing!

Loopy · 21-01-2009 8:52pm

Frada I told you, you look like a big girls blouse.

I was getting a bus home from town (Dublin, city centre! to avoid another row..) years ago and this bloke puked all over the back of my head.

He had just eaten a kebab and chips with I can only assume EXTRA Garlic sauce:eek:

Blush_01 · 21-01-2009 8:53pm

I started an argument with a drunk guy who said he'd put a bullet in me... it was hilarious, the bus driver nearly wet himself. Ah, the 79a!

On the 78a one evening a deaf woman started a conversation with me. She couldn't talk above a whisper, and I talk really fast, so it was a bit of an odd conversation, but she was a really nice lady!

My wallet got stolen on the 66 by two women pretending to be lesbians.

I never really have exciting bus stories.

Wompa1 · 21-01-2009 8:54pm

Must be a Galway thing but two different ones on Galway buses...A drunk guy in 98 was telling me how the gardai killed his brother (his brother killed himself cus he was up in court for something) anyways the weirdest thing about that one was he had the crazy notion that France would win the world cup the crazy A-hole

A different one would be I was sitting beside a stranger and two lads aroun 20-25 years old were sitting behind us drinking Dutch Gold at 11am in the day. They started on the guy sitting beside me because they thought he was foreign and started hitting the back of his chair. Anyway long story short, I stood up for him and got hit in the back of the head with a hammer, nobody on the bus said anything or would help. I told him off and said to get off the bus for a fight..he agreed but as we got to the next stop they pussed out and asked to shake my hand...I refused and told the guy beside me to sit somewhere else...he wasn't foreign either he was from Galway...was more upset that everyone on the bus heard and say what was going on and did nothing about it

ejmaztec · 21-01-2009 8:57pm

m83 wrote: »

I saw an old woman miss the last step and faceplant hard as she came off a bus eireann bus. Then at least 20 old wimmens came out of nowhere and proceeded to bait the driver with their hangbags because he "should have been there to catch her."

Needless to say, i died laughing!

Are you sure about that?

tolosenc · 21-01-2009 8:59pm

Peter Powerful Toddler wrote: »

he just thought I was a woman

You're not a chick?!:eek:

stovelid · 21-01-2009 9:02pm

Peter Powerful Toddler wrote: »

That's mine, does anyone else have any strange stories from travelling on public transport?

I got the 65B from my ma's a while back, and it came at more or less the time printed on the timetable.

miaowchi · 21-01-2009 9:02pm

Standing waiting for the 436 (bendy bus) in London Victoria and 3 homeless dudes had one of those really loud horns (the ones they have at matches) and they sneaked up behind loads of people waiting for the bus and blew the horn in their ears.... it was the funniest thing ever but dangerous obviously as well.... and the worst thing was no one even said anything!!! Luckily they didnt do it to me.... think they knew from the look on my face that i was having a ****ty day and not to mess with me

Xiney · 21-01-2009 9:07pm

The Tale of the Amazing Expanding Woman and the Exploding Toilet

Once upon a time, myself and Mr Xiney (to be) took a late night bus from London to York.

Not being from London, we waited for 40 minutes in the wrong station, running to the right one just in the nick of time.

The only seats left on the bus at that stage were: 1) next to a very fat man 2) next to his wife 3) next to a normal size guy.

Being a really really nice girl (;)) I let Mr Xiney (to be) have the seat next to the normal size guy, and I took the seat next to the woman. She honestly didn't look that big so I thought it would be ok. Right before we left, someone else got on the bus and sat next to the very fat man. Very fat man moaned about it for the first 20 minutes of the trip.

Around the time that Mr. Fatarse shut the hell up, Mrs. Fatarse must have undone her girdle, because she started to spill over into my seat in such a way as within an hour, I was tottering on what amounted to about a 1/4 of my seat. My bum was awfully sore.

By the time my bum had finally gone numb enough that I didn't mind having paid for a whole seat and only getting to use a 5 cm strip of it, disaster had struck once again.

The toilet, which was next to my seat, exploded. Literally, I heard a boom, and there was a stink, which got progressively worse. And filthy, greenish water started to ooze under the door and crept towards me. So I was tottering on the edge of my seat, with every sharp turn or bump threatening to land my ass in this vile slurry.

Until York. Bus ride was 6 hours long, if I remember correctly.

Satan himself could not design a worse hell.

Epilogue: Mr Xiney slept through the whole bloody thing.

orestes · 21-01-2009 9:10pm

Wait wait wait, hold on, back up a second!

Frada is a chick?!

Sharpshooter · 21-01-2009 9:12pm

Peter Powerful Toddler wrote: »

His two major points were that I would develop skin cancer and that I was "too pretty to die."

Christ , Batman Peter Powerful Toddler , he was some Joker alright.

Berty · 21-01-2009 9:13pm

I was on the express from Dublin to Limerick where a crazy woman started to go all crazy on a girl talking on her mobile. She crazy was sitting next to her.

She started giving out to her for trying to have sex with the man in the seat in front of her saying "I know his wife, I know his beautiful children and I know his girlfriend. He doesnt need you, you........................(wait for this).......................you dirty stinking tampon whore"

Nice. The driver stopped and came back and told the crazy to sit up near him. We stopped in Borris in Ossory as usual and she was asleep. Everybody had to tip toe past her.

She got off the bus in Roscrea after just waking up. We drove off with the whole bus looking at her. To this day we dont think she knew where she was.

4zn76tysfajdxp · 21-01-2009 9:19pm

obl wrote: »

You're not a chick?!:eek:

That's right.

orestes wrote: »

Frada is a chick?!

No.

Xiney · 21-01-2009 9:19pm

Ooooh yeah I just remembered a really good one.

One time, I was on the bus and a homeless guy got on with a passion flakie.

He was eating it and bits of flakie were dropping onto his shirt and trousers.

He was also scratching his head, and these great big flakes of dandruff were falling off too and he was flicking them from his fingernails onto his trousers.

You couldn't tell the difference between the two types of flakes by looking at them. It was really sickening.

THEN he finishes his pastry, and begins to lick his finger and pick up the flakes off his clothes to eat them. Including the flakes he just scraped off his own dirty scalp :eek:

BroomBurner · 21-01-2009 9:25pm

Used to get a bus to school every day that was a discontinued CIE bus route. Plenty of food fights, brawls, b*tchfights (blood covered bus after one girl had her nose smashed), deodorant bottles and lighters turned in to flame throwers. Just the usual Dublin Bus occurances.

BroomBurner · 21-01-2009 9:27pm

Peter Powerful Toddler wrote: »

That's right.

No.

You're gonna have to start working on your manliness Peter Powerful Toddler

21-01-2009 9:28pm

I don't know what a tracker mortgage is

21-01-2009 9:30pm

SwirlsAllAround wrote: »

There's something about the 78A.... I've heard so many dodgy stories about it over the years...more than any other bus route.

Here's another one. I was on a 78A on a Sunday night about a year ago when a couple of drunken blokes staggered on to the bus on the Ballyfermot Road. One of them swiped his card while the other just got on without a ticket. The driver called him back and he claimed to have a pass but didn't show it. The driver ordered him to show him it at which point yer man goes mental and starts shouting and punching the window of the driver's cab. He had three big Dairy Milk bars and threw them through the gap at the top, trying to hit him in the head I'd assume. The driver radioed for the Gardai and the bloke ran off the bus.

About a minute or two later he got back on again trying to be a bit calmer. He asked everyone for a loan of a phone as he wanted to call someone. Nobody budged, to which he made some smarmy comment (he was right beside me at this point). Soon enough the Gardai arrived and took him away but the driver was quite shook up.

Do you have any odd public transport stories?

Comments