Do you have any odd public transport stories?

4zn76tysfajdxp

On the bus out of Galway (today, three hours ago) I was sitting on the left aisle, as a drunk aged about 70 sat a few seats ahead of me on the right aisle.

As he was sitting down I glanced momentarily in his direction, when he saw me he blew a kiss at me.

I quickly, and wrongly, assumed that he was trying to start a fight and through my peripheral vision I noticed that he was waving his hand around in a subtle manner in an attempt to get my attention. To avoid any hassle I decided not to look at him in case he might be angry at me for some reason.

This went on for a further ten minutes, during which I bit my nails to look busy.

Eventually, I accidently looked at his waving hand at which point I acted surprised and made eye-contact with him. He then gives me a lecture as to why I shouldn't bite my nails. His two major points were that I would develop skin cancer and that I was "too pretty to die." It was then that I realised that he wasn't starting a fight with me, he just thought I was a woman and was coming on to me. Heavily.

He continued to talk to me, peppering his conversation with "darlings," telling me that I was lovely and blew me more kisses when there was a lull in the conversation.

He then asked me what music I liked to listen to, specifically asking if I like country and western. "Kenny Rogers?" “Dolly Parton?” “Johnny Cash?” “Big Tom?” “Margo?” When I said no to all of these, he agreed and told me that I have far too much class to like that kind of music anyway. He asked me again what I like, so I told him The Beatles.

He then went on a long rant about how great the Beatles were and that I have great taste in music as I stood up to get off. Finally, he shook my hand as I got off the bus telling me that he will give me his number the next time he sees me and winked at me.

The weird thing is, I've actually had to sit next to him before on the bus. He's usually quite lecherous towards the other any girls on the bus. This was the first time he thought I was a girl though.


That's mine, does anyone else have any strange stories from travelling on public transport?

dr.bollocko

I have a face like the back of a bus.

phasers

I was sitting on the 78A eating popcorn a few years ago and some junkie took my popcorn, gave me a euro and went upstairs while eating it

Tea-a-Maria

My friend had to endure a lecture on contraception from a woman on the bus to Galway once.The poor thing was traumatised!

Zebra3

Some bloke died a while ago on the 78A and then had his wallet stolen. :eek:

Beat that!!!

phasers

Zebra3 wrote: »

Some bloke died a while ago on the 78A and then had his wallet stolen. :eek:

Beat that!!!

I think I was on that bus, although it could have easily happened more than once

I hate the 78A

hunter164

Made friends with a homeless alcholic on the Luas the other week. Told me how he was in prison and all.

giggsy664

This one time, I were goin on the bus in Alabama, and some black woman refused to give up her seat to me.

True

CutzEr

The oddest public transport 'story' ever:

Transport21.

SwirlsAllAround

There's something about the 78A.... I've heard so many dodgy stories about it over the years...more than any other bus route.

quebec

i got on a bus into town from drumcondra with my skateboard nearly 10 years ago. It was pretty late and i went upstairs to see two big guys that were drunk at the back of the bus. One had a condom on his head and was blowing it up. then it burst and the other one cracked his hole laughing.

The guy then got up walked up to me took my skateboard off me and got on it. The bus jolted forward, he went head over heels, my skateboard rolled back to me and i went downstairs.

ejmaztec

Peter Powerful Toddler wrote: »

On the bus out of Galway (today, three hours ago) I was sitting on the left aisle, as a drunk aged about 70 sat a few seats ahead of me on the right aisle.

As he was sitting down I glanced momentarily in his direction, when he saw me he blew a kiss at me.

I quickly, and wrongly, assumed that he was trying to start a fight and through my peripheral vision I noticed that he was waving his hand around in a subtle manner in an attempt to get my attention. To avoid any hassle I decided not to look at him in case he might be angry at me for some reason.

This went on for a further ten minutes, during which I bit my nails to look busy.

Eventually, I accidently looked at his waving hand at which point I acted surprised and made eye-contact with him. He then gives me a lecture as to why I shouldn't bite my nails. His two major points were that I would develop skin cancer and that I was "too pretty to die." It was then that I realised that he wasn't starting a fight with me, he just thought I was a woman and was coming on to me. Heavily.

He continued to talk to me, peppering his conversation with "darlings," telling me that I was lovely and blew me more kisses when there was a lull in the conversation.

He then asked me what music I liked to listen to, specifically asking if I like country and western. "Kenny Rogers?" “Dolly Parton?” “Johnny Cash?” “Big Tom?” “Margo?” When I said no to all of these, he agreed and told me that I have far too much class to like that kind of music anyway. He asked me again what I like, so I told him The Beatles.

He then went on a long rant about how great the Beatles were and that I have great taste in music as I stood up to get off. Finally, he shook my hand as I got off the bus telling me that he will give me his number the next time he sees me and winked at me.

The weird thing is, I've actually had to sit next to him before on the bus. He's usually quite lecherous towards the other any girls on the bus. This was the first time he thought I was a girl though.


That's mine, does anyone else have any strange stories from travelling on public transport?

So, did you manage to get his number yet you minx.

4zn76tysfajdxp

ejmaztec wrote: »

So, did you manage to get his number then you minx.

No. I was kicking myself later on though.

m83

I saw an old woman miss the last step and faceplant hard as she came off a bus eireann bus. Then at least 20 old wimmens came out of nowhere and proceeded to bait the driver with their hangbags because he "should have been there to catch her."

Needless to say, i died laughing!

Loopy

Frada I told you, you look like a big girls blouse.

I was getting a bus home from town (Dublin, city centre! to avoid another row..) years ago and this bloke puked all over the back of my head.

He had just eaten a kebab and chips with I can only assume EXTRA Garlic sauce:eek:

Blush_01

I started an argument with a drunk guy who said he'd put a bullet in me... it was hilarious, the bus driver nearly wet himself. Ah, the 79a!

On the 78a one evening a deaf woman started a conversation with me. She couldn't talk above a whisper, and I talk really fast, so it was a bit of an odd conversation, but she was a really nice lady!

My wallet got stolen on the 66 by two women pretending to be lesbians.

I never really have exciting bus stories.

Wompa1

Must be a Galway thing but two different ones on Galway buses...A drunk guy in 98 was telling me how the gardai killed his brother (his brother killed himself cus he was up in court for something) anyways the weirdest thing about that one was he had the crazy notion that France would win the world cup the crazy A-hole

A different one would be I was sitting beside a stranger and two lads aroun 20-25 years old were sitting behind us drinking Dutch Gold at 11am in the day. They started on the guy sitting beside me because they thought he was foreign and started hitting the back of his chair. Anyway long story short, I stood up for him and got hit in the back of the head with a hammer, nobody on the bus said anything or would help. I told him off and said to get off the bus for a fight..he agreed but as we got to the next stop they pussed out and asked to shake my hand...I refused and told the guy beside me to sit somewhere else...he wasn't foreign either he was from Galway...was more upset that everyone on the bus heard and say what was going on and did nothing about it

ejmaztec

m83 wrote: »

I saw an old woman miss the last step and faceplant hard as she came off a bus eireann bus. Then at least 20 old wimmens came out of nowhere and proceeded to bait the driver with their hangbags because he "should have been there to catch her."

Needless to say, i died laughing!

Are you sure about that?

tolosenc

Peter Powerful Toddler wrote: »

he just thought I was a woman

You're not a chick?!:eek:

stovelid

Peter Powerful Toddler wrote: »

That's mine, does anyone else have any strange stories from travelling on public transport?

I got the 65B from my ma's a while back, and it came at more or less the time printed on the timetable.

miaowchi

Standing waiting for the 436 (bendy bus) in London Victoria and 3 homeless dudes had one of those really loud horns (the ones they have at matches) and they sneaked up behind loads of people waiting for the bus and blew the horn in their ears.... it was the funniest thing ever but dangerous obviously as well.... and the worst thing was no one even said anything!!! Luckily they didnt do it to me.... think they knew from the look on my face that i was having a ****ty day and not to mess with me

Xiney

The Tale of the Amazing Expanding Woman and the Exploding Toilet

Once upon a time, myself and Mr Xiney (to be) took a late night bus from London to York.

Not being from London, we waited for 40 minutes in the wrong station, running to the right one just in the nick of time.

The only seats left on the bus at that stage were: 1) next to a very fat man 2) next to his wife 3) next to a normal size guy.

Being a really really nice girl (;)) I let Mr Xiney (to be) have the seat next to the normal size guy, and I took the seat next to the woman. She honestly didn't look that big so I thought it would be ok. Right before we left, someone else got on the bus and sat next to the very fat man. Very fat man moaned about it for the first 20 minutes of the trip.

Around the time that Mr. Fatarse shut the hell up, Mrs. Fatarse must have undone her girdle, because she started to spill over into my seat in such a way as within an hour, I was tottering on what amounted to about a 1/4 of my seat. My bum was awfully sore.

By the time my bum had finally gone numb enough that I didn't mind having paid for a whole seat and only getting to use a 5 cm strip of it, disaster had struck once again.

The toilet, which was next to my seat, exploded. Literally, I heard a boom, and there was a stink, which got progressively worse. And filthy, greenish water started to ooze under the door and crept towards me. So I was tottering on the edge of my seat, with every sharp turn or bump threatening to land my ass in this vile slurry.

Until York. Bus ride was 6 hours long, if I remember correctly.


Satan himself could not design a worse hell.

Epilogue: Mr Xiney slept through the whole bloody thing.

orestes

Wait wait wait, hold on, back up a second!

Frada is a chick?!

Sharpshooter

Peter Powerful Toddler wrote: »

His two major points were that I would develop skin cancer and that I was "too pretty to die."

Christ , Batman Peter Powerful Toddler , he was some Joker alright.

Berty

I was on the express from Dublin to Limerick where a crazy woman started to go all crazy on a girl talking on her mobile. She crazy was sitting next to her.

She started giving out to her for trying to have sex with the man in the seat in front of her saying "I know his wife, I know his beautiful children and I know his girlfriend. He doesnt need you, you........................(wait for this).......................you dirty stinking tampon whore"

Nice. The driver stopped and came back and told the crazy to sit up near him. We stopped in Borris in Ossory as usual and she was asleep. Everybody had to tip toe past her.

She got off the bus in Roscrea after just waking up. We drove off with the whole bus looking at her. To this day we dont think she knew where she was.

4zn76tysfajdxp

obl wrote: »

You're not a chick?!:eek:

That's right.

orestes wrote: »

Frada is a chick?!

No.

Xiney

Ooooh yeah I just remembered a really good one.


One time, I was on the bus and a homeless guy got on with a passion flakie.

He was eating it and bits of flakie were dropping onto his shirt and trousers.

He was also scratching his head, and these great big flakes of dandruff were falling off too and he was flicking them from his fingernails onto his trousers.

You couldn't tell the difference between the two types of flakes by looking at them. It was really sickening.


THEN he finishes his pastry, and begins to lick his finger and pick up the flakes off his clothes to eat them. Including the flakes he just scraped off his own dirty scalp :eek:

BroomBurner

Used to get a bus to school every day that was a discontinued CIE bus route. Plenty of food fights, brawls, b*tchfights (blood covered bus after one girl had her nose smashed), deodorant bottles and lighters turned in to flame throwers. Just the usual Dublin Bus occurances.

BroomBurner

Peter Powerful Toddler wrote: »

That's right.



No.

You're gonna have to start working on your manliness Peter Powerful Toddler

I don't know what a tracker mortgage is

SwirlsAllAround

SwirlsAllAround wrote: »

There's something about the 78A.... I've heard so many dodgy stories about it over the years...more than any other bus route.

Here's another one. I was on a 78A on a Sunday night about a year ago when a couple of drunken blokes staggered on to the bus on the Ballyfermot Road. One of them swiped his card while the other just got on without a ticket. The driver called him back and he claimed to have a pass but didn't show it. The driver ordered him to show him it at which point yer man goes mental and starts shouting and punching the window of the driver's cab. He had three big Dairy Milk bars and threw them through the gap at the top, trying to hit him in the head I'd assume. The driver radioed for the Gardai and the bloke ran off the bus.

About a minute or two later he got back on again trying to be a bit calmer. He asked everyone for a loan of a phone as he wanted to call someone. Nobody budged, to which he made some smarmy comment (he was right beside me at this point). Soon enough the Gardai arrived and took him away but the driver was quite shook up.

Numina

I once got the 66 from the City Center and a homeless, solvent abusive woman with silver spray paint all over her mouth/face and coat got on the same bus. When the bus came on to Conyngham road it pulled over and after around a minute of patiently waiting while sitting upstairs, suddenly screams were let out from passengers below. It turned out that the Homeless woman was harassing and attacking passengers, one even crying. We all waited and listened to passengers trying to calm the situation, every minute or so the homeless woman would act up again. The driver had locked the doors to keep the homeless on the bus as he was waiting for the Gardai to arrive. The woman was clearly insane, at one point she aggressively asked a passenger who was attempting to calm her "What d'ya want from me!? What d'ya want!? D'ya want to go to a mountain do ya?"

All ended well when the Gardai came, the driver opened the door and the homeless woman bolted in the opposite direction of the Gardai, but was caught by one of the Gardai using one arm to drag her back. We watched, we waited, and I have 15 minutes audio of it recorded from my Zen, which I'm going to go listen to now.

Vain

Peter Powerful Toddler wrote: »

he just thought I was a woman

You mean your not a woman?? So all my dirty pm to you were a waste of time?? Why did you lead me on?:D

Edit: I wasn't the only one to be confused about fradas sexuality. *Hangs head in shame*

nlgbbbblth

One wet morning I was on the 18 coming down Waterloo road and someone rang the bell for the second stop on the road [halfway down]. The bus stops and the driver shouts

"Anyone getting off"

No response.
Nobody gets off

He drives on and about a dozen people stand up and walk towards the front of the bus, some ring the bell. They all want to get off at the bottom of the road, by the Xtravision and the turn-off to upper Baggot st.

The traffic lights are green.

The bus fails to stop, drives through the lights and turns right up Pembroke road. Some people say

"You missed the stop. We all wanted to get off back there"

Driver shouts

"F*ck yis! Now you know what it feels like!"

and pulls up at the next stop which is quite a reasonable distance from the previous one. Some alighting passengers berate him about this and he responds with more abusive language - the jist of which is

'I f*ckin hate c*nts trying to shaft me.'

The last guy getting off says 'I wouldn't shaft yer auld one'!

shenanigans1982

When I first started going out with my OH I used to get the bus down to Carlow every Saturday. First time I did this I got my ticket and asked the guy what gate the bus was leaving from. He said " there is one leaving from gate two right now." I grabbed my ticket and ran for the bus, getting on just before he pulled away.

About 2 and a half hours later I got a text from her asking if I was nearly there. Turns out to bus to Longford doesn't go through Carlow.

nlgbbbblth

This will take four seconds of your time.

STAND CLEAR - LUGGAGE DOORS OPERATING

http://www.irelandlogue.com/files/2006/12/r09_0100.MP3

towel401

nlgbbbblth wrote: »

This will take four seconds of your time.

STAND CLEAR - LUGGAGE DOORS OPERATING

http://www.irelandlogue.com/files/2006/12/r09_0100.MP3

who`se voice is that?

Acacia

nlgbbbblth wrote: »

The last guy getting off says 'I wouldn't shaft yer auld one'!

Fcukin' brilliant!:pac:

One time I was sitting downstairs on the bus, from town back to my gaff, with my ma. We were sitting on the seat just in front of the back seat, facing the driver. A middle-aged chap gets on the bus and begin walking towards the back,stopping every so often to shake randomers' hands and asking them, "Hello, how are you?" in weird, fake, posh accent.

"Maybe he's just really friendly...", I innocently thought. Not so. He began to rant and rave for the entire bus journey, mostly about the government, the church and sex, like some madder version of Father Jack. The couple sitting beside him fecked off up-stairs (don't blame them), and gradually more and more people , moved away from him.

Throughout the whole journey, everybody was doing a wonderful job pretending not to hear him, until he hopped off the bus merrily on his way.

Madser.

Nightwish

I got on the 40C on Gardiner St, when I was in fact waiting for the 40A. I had to get away from a crusty homeless man who was harassing me. I told the bus driver I'd get off just around the corner at Dorset St. The driver said, dont worry I'll get you to Finglas. The route terminated at Finglas village, and I was going to Finglas west...the driver insisted on bringing me home...on a dublin bus

Nightwish

Nightwish wrote: »

I got on the 40C on Gardiner St, when I was in fact waiting for the 40A. I had to get away from a crusty homeless man who was harassing me. I told the bus driver I'd get off just around the corner at Dorset St. The driver said, dont worry I'll get you to Finglas. The route terminated at Finglas village, and I was going to Finglas west...the driver insisted on bringing me home...on a dublin bus

That was nice of him. Bus drivers certainly have a rep for being assholes but it's by no means all of them.

CamperMan

I hate public transport, not used it for many years, the last time I used it was when some dirty, smelly 30 stone bloke sat beside me, burping, farting, sneezing, horrible, that was the last straw!!!

Pen1987

I travel on the 76A and 78A everyday. The amount of stories I have is unreal. The best one I can think of right now is - this junkie couple get on in Ballyfermot Village, same as me, no seats downstairs. I head upstairs, only seat is down the back. I jump in the second-last seat on the right. The couple jump in the last seat on the left and immediately lean down and start rolling...

It soon becomes clear that they dont have enough contents for their roll. An argument ensues... "Jaysin... dah' gear was meant to last you tree day-yezs! You only gorrit today ye stupih fuk", "shurrip it's grand", "yeh'll git sick", "I won't it's grand"... conversation continues, all the "gear" has been stuck into the papers and its still not enough to make a full roll.

"Here, giza birra bit will ya?" he says to her...

He then pulls out a blade and chomps off a lump of her greasy long hair, sticks it into the roll, licks the paper, rolls it, lights it and smokes it.

This wasn't even that odd for the 78A, it's just the one I can remember today.

Captain Darling

I was getting the train up to Athlone a few years ago and there was this old wino shouting and roaring on the train, all the way from Galway. He looked a bit like the old guy in the Life of Brian that took the vow of silence. Anyways when the train arrived into Athlone, four Gardai were waiting to take him off it.

They got on the train and he started giving them dogs abuse. I was stuck behind them and had to wait until they lifted him physically out of the train.

I hung around on the platform to see what else happened. The wino then started a sit down protest on the platform and there was more fcuking and blinding coming from. The cops were getting extremely pissed off with him.

Two of them went either side of him, linked his arms and lifted him up. As the wino was being lifted up his trousers fell down. Everybody on the train and the platform got a full frontal of his bollox. It was like time stood still, because the cops didnt know what to do. He was just being held up, with his meat and two veg dangling around the place for all the world to see. There was people staring out the windows of the train with their mouths open and grannies covering their eyes. The wino was fcuking oblivious to the fact his wedding tackle was hanging out.

The cops who were not lifting him, pulled up his pants. He was then dragged off the platform and fcuked into the back of a paddy wagon.

kmart6

MIne would involve the Luas. You know the people who stand there asking for your change/show people how to use the machine?! Well there was 2 lad's mouthing off at each other at Stephens Green yesterday.

Guy 1 ''This is me bleeding spot,fuck off''
Guy 2 ''No fuck you I'm always here!!!''

Anyway this continues on for while but in between there sentances they were throwing in the ''Any change for a hostel?!'' line and then continuing abusing each other.

The even better one was the 2 of them were there again today happy out talking to each other bout how they haven't seen ''Fat Fred'' in ages!!!!

Arcee

When I was around 15 or 16 I was headed into Dublin city centre one Saturday evening to meet my mates. I sat down beside some random guy on the bus without taking too much notice of him. A little while into the trip I could see him staring at me and my legs (was wearing a skirt) with glazed, vacant eyes. He was swaying around like he was about to nod off in his seat and I figured that he was fairly stoned or hammered. Was a little uncomfortable but ok until he started fumbling around inside his jacket and I realised he had his lad out and was pulling himself off while looking at my legs. A few of the other passengers copped it at the same time and everyone started shouting at him. He was so baked he took no notice and just kept at it despite looking like he was gonna fall asleep at any minute. Gross and disturbing experience for a poor, innocent girl! *shudder*

dSTAR

I was traveling on the Northern Line one time in London and this homeless dragster wearing a faux fur coat, a pair of ladies tights and not much else got on. He sat down in front of me and crossed his legs as would any lady dressed in such attire. The only thing was he forgot to tuck himself under. The look on the business mans face sitting next to him reading the Financial Times was priceless

Zwillinge

The joys of Dublin Bus.

Once waiting on a bus to town while it was freezing cold, a guy just arrived at the stop and asked me how long I was waiting. I said ten minutes, then ten minutes later he went on a rant about how terrible buses were, how cold it was, how he was going to be late, how the bus was ruining his night. The bus finally came and we were both standing, of course he said "Typical!"
He got off after 2 stops...it was a five minute walk, not even.

Another time on the bus, I usually sit downstairs thinking less 39 Blanchardstown scumbags. Nope, some drunken woman gets on with a black suitcase. She sits down and asks the girl across from her does she have a light, the girl shakes her head and the woman starts calling her the most foul names known to man. She then proceeds to open the suitcase and removing bottles of vodka and whatever else.

Was sitting in the front of the bus and was reading a magazine that had differnt sexual positions in it - you know the "10 ways to improve your love life" articles that don't really do much for you - either way I'm engrossed in this and an elderly nun sits beside me. I look up for a moment and see her staring at me, then at my magazine and sharply exclaims "Are you ok?!?"
When she left after giving me the sign of the cross, another woman sat beside me in a big fur coat and she smelt of urine and cheese and onion crisps. Weirdest combo.

Not too weird I suppose but this Halloween, I was on the way home from a party and an aul wan sits next to me and starts telling me how horrid Halloween is and wasn't I a good girl not going out last night, depsite not telling her anything about myself. She then proceeded to tell me all about her sons trip to Disneyland with his 4 children and during a recession! I tell ya!

My OH was on a bus and a lady wrote him and everyone on the bus a Christmas card. Nice for July :pac:

Soby

right these aren't mine there outta the "More overheard in Dublin " book..i just remembered it when i seen the topic title so thought id share some of the ones with ya..

On the 130 bus some bird on her phone:

"Hiye, yea, listen we're going te Skerries....no man, Skerries...What d'ye mean? Can ye not hear me?SKERRIES! S.C.A.R.Y.S"....


"I got onto the no. 78A bus, found no seats downstairs so decided to try upstairs. I found one empty seat and was about to sit down when some blike yells "HERE MISSUS, I wouldn't sit there if i were you I just pissed there!

Nitelink home heading to Clonsilla. The bus was packed upstairs at 3am. A man up the top of the bus stand up and asks.
" Does anyone mind if i take a piss?"
At that, everyone lifts up their feet towards their chests, nothing said...

Little girl on the bus, after spotting a fly
(roaring); "Look, Dad, a bastard!"..

Im sure theres funnier ones somewhere..Im gonna read it for my own amusement and post any more i seee:)

Emmsy

Getting the 16A from town one evening and it was packed. Two junkies get on on and sit down across from this old man. The three of them obviously locked.
Anyway few minutes into the journey the man junkie turns and says to the woman junkie 'jaysus yer man looks like Miley of Glenroe dun'e' Woman agrees and shouts over to the old man 'Miley ya wanna come for one down the auld triangle with us? We never met anyone of the telly before.'
'Miley' says 'ah **** off would ya's'
Woman: 'Ah come on miley don't be a feckin dry arse'
And so on and so forth.
So we arrive at the Auld Triangle and the couple make their way through the people and before they get off the bus they stand at the door for around a minute shouting at 'miley' to come with them. They get off and knock on the side of the bus shouting 'miley we never got an autograph will ya send us one will ya?' And they go on their merry way.
'Miley' sits on the bus giving out about the state of young people in Dublin today and how drinking has gotten out of hand. He then stands and yells at the bus driver 'Will ya lemme off at the Big Tree? I want a feckin' pint!'
'Miley' gets off and the whole bus erupts into laughter. Made the journey in friday evening traffic go a lot faster.

ahmed89

Do you have any odd public transport stories?

no,not really,i just hate them,but i got my first car yesterday,so no more buses for me:D

tallaght01

Drinking buckfast at a bus stop with 2 homeless guys when I wasn't even getting a bus was a real low point in my life :P