Whats the biggest thing you've murdered?

10-10-2008 11:55AM

Pighead I think you can safely say now that shoelaceface is the biggest thing you've ever killed!

Silenceisbliss · 10-10-2008 12:06PM

Ishmael wrote: »

Used to kill flys and daddy-longs legs all the time by catching them and throwing them into spiderwebs in the back yard.

haha, I did this too.... was fair funny/gross...

I even took it as far as throwing a scorpion in a funnel web spiders web before with some friends in croatia....scared the FREEKING bejesus outta us when the lil bloody massive fecker jumped out of the web and caught the scorpion...have a video of it n all... (with the sound of us all screaming like little pre-pubescent girlies)

meditraitor · 10-10-2008 12:34PM

A turkey, about a 1000 of the smelly fnukers over 2 christmas holidays back in the late 80s. The trick is to hang them on hooks, grab hold of the neck above the head and drop your weight cleanly breaking it.
The problem is if you drop to much weight the fucking head comes off, and the post murder flapping makes it mighty messy when this happens.

Cant wait till christmas ;-)

peanuthead · 10-10-2008 12:47PM

A goldfish. I actually took him out of my dads tank to save him from the other goldfish because they were eating him alive. He had only one fin and no tail when I rescued him, he couldn't even swim properly, rather just floated in an anti-clockwise direction for a couple of weeks till the fin and tail grew back. After I had nursed him back to health, I kinda gave up on him and began forgetting to feed him or change the water in the bowl, until he died. Either of lack of oxygen or starvation.
I would say that in his final days he was probably wishing he had been left in the original tank.

meditraitor · 10-10-2008 12:53PM

peanuthead wrote: »

A goldfish. .

A guy I know ate a live one for 4 cigarretes.

and on another note: the shortest poem in the world

Ode to a goldfish

My Wet Pet

coat, gone

Auldloon · 10-10-2008 01:17PM

Biggest was a cow, i shot it. Most up close and personal was a badly injured deer. I arrived on the scene just as the weeping townies were debating whether to try and kill it with a (small)rock or hide it in the ferns. Luckily i had the ould sticker in the van.....

shoelaceface · 10-10-2008 01:19PM

meditraitor wrote: »

A guy I know ate a live one for 4 cigarretes.

and on another note: the shortest poem in the world

Ode to a goldfish

My Wet Pet

coat, gone

what!

azezil · 10-10-2008 01:27PM

A mother fox and rabbit, both lactating. It was about this time i decided killing off entire families might be wrong and stopped using projectile weapons against defenseless animals.

The_Minister · 10-10-2008 01:58PM

Remember, the lactating fox would do it you you if you gave her the chance.

peanuthead · 10-10-2008 02:35PM

meditraitor wrote: »

A guy I know ate a live one for 4 cigarretes.

Swallowed it whole or chewed it up all dramatic Fear Factor style?

Does he not know raw fish isnt tasty?? Does he not care about his tastebuds??:D

meditraitor · 10-10-2008 03:01PM

peanuthead wrote: »

Swallowed it whole or chewed it up all dramatic Fear Factor style?

Does he not know raw fish isnt tasty?? Does he not care about his tastebuds??:D

Sadly no chewing involved, we only had 4 cigs spare. :pac: 6 smokes for a chew

The Master · 10-10-2008 03:26PM

I took my guitar out at a house party last week and killed everybodys buzz , does that count?

peanuthead · 10-10-2008 03:33PM

meditraitor wrote: »

Sadly no chewing involved, we only had 4 cigs spare. :pac: 6 smokes for a chew

men!!

lostexpectation · 10-10-2008 04:27PM

Varkov wrote: »

In order of size.

Mouse
Rat
Rabbit
Cat
Sheep
Cow
And a drunk who walked in front of my car 2 years ago.

varkov wins ....

mydogjack · 10-10-2008 04:30PM

2 year old aberdeen angus.

Creamy Goodness · 10-10-2008 04:31PM

a badger that ran out in front of my car on the m50 a while back

Manic Moran · 10-10-2008 05:01PM

varkov wins ....

I don't know, I get the impression one or two of them may have been accidents. That said, if he killed the drunk to put him out of his misery after hitting him with the car, I guess that would count.

NTM

CursedSkeptic · 10-10-2008 05:35PM

Pighead wrote: »

You should stop chasing unattainable dreams CursedSeptic. Lower your aims and take it from there. Try being as cool as Barry from Eastenders first and then work your way up. Baby steps.

Really, cool. Grab a hold of your dick and give it a yank

matchthis · 10-10-2008 07:25PM

I shot JR

10-10-2008 07:29PM

Cremo wrote: »

a badger that ran out in front of my car on the m50 a while back

Would youe car not be dead now?
Badgers are heavy mofos.

motherfunker · 10-10-2008 09:25PM

I drowned a mouse this morning.
I set a cheap trap in the kitchen last night, came down this morning to find a cute little mouse, caught across his ribs by the bar that was meant to snap his neck. He was still fully conscious so I had to hold him under water in a wheelbarrow in my garden till he passed. It took ages and he dident want to die, he squirmed and wriggled for ages.
It was as horrible as it sounds.

ArthurGuinness · 10-10-2008 10:44PM

Queens Bohemian Rhapsody

Phototoxin · 10-10-2008 11:49PM

I should say Madeline for badness... but probably a beetle.

It wasn't me! · 11-10-2008 12:20AM

Rabbits, birds etc. Avoid anything big enough to do damage to a car while I'm driving (badgers, even foxes, deer), but this time next year, Bambi is going to take some population-punishing.

Photi · 11-10-2008 12:23AM

yore ma, a pint, some karaoke song, maddie, JR...and any original idea ever produced here.

Greenmachine · 11-10-2008 01:03AM

Triple whopper cheese and a bacon meal with desert.:D

useful_contacts · 11-10-2008 01:37AM

A Baby bird

i was 10ish n threw a rock at a tree(a nest) to c d eggs(now iv no dea why guess i was curious) one egg fel out n broke n inside was a half developed baby bird, my stepmam ran up at that moment and BEAT the crap outta me for killn an innocent baby bird. tell ya i never felt so bad ever in my life.

AT 22 i still feel bad:(

glynf · 11-10-2008 03:18AM

A kitten with a claw hammer when I was five. It got its head stuck in a jam jar and I was trying to free it. It went a bit wrong.
I still remember the bollocking I got and was also banned from watching Tom & Jerry.
I recall it was a Black rubber handled Stanley hammer, mad the things you remember..
Is it any wonder I hate f**king cats.

Tar.Aldarion · 11-10-2008 04:49AM

I'm sure I must have stepped on something without realising. Apart from that, nothing.

ScumLord · 11-10-2008 05:26AM

Cremo wrote: »

a badger that ran out in front of my car on the m50 a while back

According to the ignorant backwards farmers that I know badgers spread TB and impregnate virgins with the spawn of the devil. I've been in a taxi that reversed over one.

Whats the biggest thing you've murdered?

Comments