The Escapist : Zero Punctuation Game Reviews

Canis Lupus · 03-09-2008 08:10PM

Have to say I normally love ZP but as an Eve player I feel a bit insulted by his review.

It was almost as if he set out from the start to not like it, barely scratched the surface of the game and then sat down to talk about how **** it is.

Eve HAS it's flaws, no game is perfect but man, that review was utterly out of his arse but you have to be a regular Eve player to realise just how off the mark he was. What was clear throughout was that he probably spent the two week trial pretty much not knowing what the **** he was doing and whilst that is one of Eves first hurdles (and one of the reason why player corps are so vital to help you past the curve) you can't base an entire review on it.

thelordofcheese · 03-09-2008 08:16PM

mayordenis wrote: »

people who are slating eve from a few days of trial no nothing about eve,
and nothing about games.

that includes yahtzee, you say the eve fanboys are silly or whatever, but you have to look at yourself and see that have this thread are fanboys of yahtzee who is a cynical fool, who looks at every game with a completely warped view just to seem like he's intelligent, he actually isn't. He's 100% boring.

Awww, do you want a hug because the nasty man mocked that game you like?

Seriously though, EVE is the inverse of most MMO's where as in WoW the early game is fun and the end game a hideous boring mess, EVE starts the other way, a hideous boring mess who's end game is fun. Or so i've been told.
Like most people i gave up with it's terrible design and uninspired universe after about 5 days. Yeah, yeah, yeah - i know people pretend that it takes weeks to get into EVE, but you know what. Fuck EVE.
I have five other games that will be fun to play right now, not three months down the line.

Everything that was brought up in the review is spot on, the hideous UI, the mountain of skills that seem to exist solely as time & money sinks. It's an MMO for masochists, and i do not associate with perverts.

Tar.Aldarion · 03-09-2008 08:33PM

Zillah wrote: »

Fanbois or not, one cannot appreciate what Eve has to offer in a 14 day trial and especially by refusing to join player corps. Player corp PvP is the main source of fun in Eve.

Eve is a mud with graphics I'm sure it's not hard for him or other gamers to understand.

Canis Lupus wrote: »

Have to say I normally love ZP but as an Eve player I feel a bit insulted by his review.

It was almost as if he set out from the start to not like it, barely scratched the surface of the game and then sat down to talk about how **** it is.

Eve HAS it's flaws, no game is perfect but man, that review was utterly out of his arse but you have to be a regular Eve player to realise just how off the mark he was. What was clear throughout was that he probably spent the two week trial pretty much not knowing what the **** he was doing and whilst that is one of Eves first hurdles (and one of the reason why player corps are so vital to help you past the curve) you can't base an entire review on it.

Yeah I too like his reviews apart from when he doesn't like games I like...
Sounds like why chef left southpark.

Sarky · 03-09-2008 08:38PM

*giggle*

You kids crack me up.

noodler · 03-09-2008 08:39PM

Cant get it to work. Screen stays black when I press play. How weird-never usually happens.

Krieg · 03-09-2008 08:42PM

I have to agree with the eve "fanbois". I have been paying eve for 4/5 months now and im loving it, but it took a second trial account for me to like it.
That said, I blame the developers (CCP) for making the game ****e for newbies

Canis Lupus · 03-09-2008 08:45PM

Tara Le d'Arion wrote: »

Yeah I too like his reviews apart from when he doesn't like games I like...

Like I said, Eve has flaws, myriads of them in fact, just like lots of games. I'm not a fanboi trying to pretend Eve is the mostest awesomest game EVA!!!11! What I'm annoyed about is slating a game when he clearly put no time or effort into it is all although I suppose I have to accept that he doesn't really review games when you get down to it.

That and it mostly wasn't as funny as normal

Now.... 2 days 5 hours 13 minutes and 4 seconds till rapid firing lvl 5 is complete.

Woot.

EDIT Having said that I'm actually playing more Battlefield 2 atm the moment and being wowed by just how ****ing ANNOYINGLY **** punkbuster is.

Dyr · 03-09-2008 09:35PM

thelordofcheese wrote: »

Seriously though, EVE is the inverse of most MMO's where as in WoW the early game is fun and the end game a hideous boring mess, EVE starts the other way, a hideous boring mess who's end game is fun. Or so i've been told.
Like most people i gave up with it's terrible design and uninspired universe after about 5 days. Yeah, yeah, yeah - i know people pretend that it takes weeks to get into EVE, but you know what. Fuck EVE.
I have five other games that will be fun to play right now, not three months down the line.

I never played EVE, mainly because it sounds boring and how up their own arses everyone at CCP comes across in interviews: "We are terribly clever innovative chaps so why would we design a game thats FUN to play?" What really worries me is that they're developing the WOD MMORPG.

Bubs101 · 03-09-2008 09:46PM

mayordenis wrote: »

He's 100% boring.

thelordofcheese · 03-09-2008 09:48PM

Bambi wrote: »

What really worries me is that they're developing the WOD MMORPG.

Ohh jesus. i can see it now

WoD: Emo online

Spunge · 03-09-2008 10:38PM

When i heard CCP were making a WoD game i nearly crapped myself with excitement.

bizmark · 03-09-2008 10:41PM

Sigh you cant take his reviews seriously they are all made to take the piss and be contrversial whats more he doesnt even like mmo's and doesnt seem to have the patience for them.
He clearly didnt expend a tiny bit of effort to understanding the game its easy as anything to find out what a skill does its writen in the bloody disription although the numbers are daunting if you dont have the advanage of someone to give you some direction and guidence id admit and no proper corp would take a trial account even if he didnt have that bizzare "no player corp" rule as for avatar creation it is semi importent as it's your face in the game v0v and soon their will be the ablity to walk around the stations in 3d .
The way he discribes pvp combat is bull**** imho and frankly i dont see how he could of possible found out anyway i assume he's baseing it on npc combat which is pritty ****ing boreing to be fair i also dont understand his whine about the training system it would suit someone like him with limited time to play also why does he expect to be able to use all the fancy weapons? they are the things you train for after all its less a tease than something to aim for ffs as for his complaints against the ui well apart from the fiddly overheat button's i never had an issue with them...... So to coin a goonswarm phrase he just doesnt get eve...

In the end though the only true annoying thing about this review is fool's who like to get spoon fed their opinions to them will avoid eve like the plague now but meh those types wouldnt last anyway.

(btw tatical logistics reconfig = carrier skills he would of never needed)

Silverfish · 03-09-2008 10:43PM

bizmark wrote: »

Sigh you cant take his reviews seriously they are all made to take the piss and be contrversial whats more he doesnt even like mmo's and doesnt seem to have the patience for them also he clearly didnt make a tiny bit of effort its easy as anything to find out what a skill does its writen in the bloody disription although the numbers are daunting if you dont have the advanage of someone to give you some direction and guidence id admit and no proper corp would take a trial account even if he didnt have that bizzare "no player corp" rule , Avatar creation is semi importent as it's your face in the game v0v and soon their will be the ablity to walk around the stations in 3d.
The way he discribes pvp combat is bull**** and frankly i dont see how he could of possible found out anyway i assume he's baseing it on npc combat which is pritty ****ing boreing to be fair i also dont understand his whine about the training system it would suit someone like him with limited time to play and why does he expect to be able to use all the fancy weapons? they are the things you train for after all its less a tease than something to aim for ffs as for his complaints against the ui well apart from the fiddly overheat button's i never had an issue with them...... So to coin a goonswarm phrase he just doesnt get eve...

In the end though the only true annoying thing about this review is fool's who like to get spoon fed their opinions to them will avoid eve like the plague now but meh those types wouldnt last anyway.

(btw tatical logistics reconfig = carrier skills he would of never needed)

So why do you talk like him.

Inhale.

bizmark · 03-09-2008 10:58PM

Silverfish wrote: »

So why do you talk like him.

Inhale.

Its all the rage these days i hear

Zillah · 03-09-2008 11:01PM

Silverfish wrote: »

So why do you talk like him.

Except with a Cork accent :pac:

bizmark · 03-09-2008 11:09PM

Zillah wrote: »

Except with a Cork accent :pac:

Alright boi !

R0ot · 03-09-2008 11:40PM

Zillah wrote: »

Except with a Cork accent :pac:

Jump Laddies! :pac:

pixelburp · 04-09-2008 08:52AM

The whole MMORPG genre is a blight & nothing more than a borderline addiction source. Yahtzee's just saying what we're all thinking

noodler · 04-09-2008 11:42AM

I was addicted to playing RA2 online years ago and RPGs take up enough time in single player.

Im afraid if I tried a MMO I would turn into an even bigger mess.

Dyr · 04-09-2008 11:48AM

Spunge wrote: »

When i heard CCP were making a WoD game i nearly crapped myself with excitement.

I thought "well at least it wont be a WOW clone" but then what will it be?

Sarky · 04-09-2008 11:58AM

It'll be World of Darkness. That is, a bunch of nerds pretending to be the most boring vampires ever written. Except for the furries that'll play Werewolves.

thelordofcheese · 04-09-2008 12:15PM

Sarky wrote: »

It'll be World of Darkness. That is, a bunch of nerds pretending to be the most boring vampires ever written. Except for the furries that'll play Werewolves.

Damn furries, ruining everything. For everyone.

Cuddlesworth · 04-09-2008 02:21PM

We ruined nothing but our bear suits.

Zillah · 04-09-2008 02:31PM

Cuddlesworth wrote: »

We ruined nothing but our bear suits.

Ha. Its funny because its gross.

Like R0ot. Thats why the girls laugh at him.

thelordofcheese · 04-09-2008 02:36PM

Cuddlesworth wrote: »

We ruined nothing but our bear suits.

Kill it.
Kill it with FIRE.

Sand · 04-09-2008 11:40PM

The whole MMORPG genre is a blight

Agreed. Though EVE is the best pick up and play, CS in space type MMO. You dont need to grind, if you get bored you can set a long skill training, go off play other games and come back and find youve "levelled" or whatever **** you get in WoW and its derivatives.

ghouldaddy07 · 05-09-2008 01:26AM

dont really think people should get irriatated at his reviews as he is just a funny professional troll. He hates Rpg's and MMO's and his review's of the witcher and mass effect are blasmephy.

But sure it is all in good fun

pixelburp · 05-09-2008 05:31AM

Sand wrote: »

Agreed. Though EVE is the best pick up and play, CS in space type MMO. You dont need to grind, if you get bored you can set a long skill training, go off play other games and come back and find youve "levelled" or whatever **** you get in WoW and its derivatives.

Yeah but like it mentions in the review, what's the point of a game that rewards you for *not* playing it? It seems like the polar opposite of WoW and the like that force you to play it ad infinitum, for the most measly of rewards.

dont really think people should get irriatated at his reviews as he is just a funny professional troll. He hates Rpg's and MMO's and his review's of the witcher and mass effect are blasmephy.

I think people get irritated with what Yahtzee says because deep, deep down they know he's right, particularly about stuff like MMOs. When he describes it as a "second job" he pretty much nails it on the head, much to the chagrin to those who like to fool themselves into thinking they're indulging in some victimless internet crack-cocaine.

Dyr · 05-09-2008 10:04AM

ghouldaddy07 wrote: »

dont really think people should get irriatated at his reviews as he is just a funny professional troll. He hates Rpg's and MMO's and his review's of the witcher and mass effect are blasmephy.

But sure it is all in good fun

I thuoght his review of the witcher was pretty spot on, mind you i still havent got that far with it yet...:o

Canis Lupus · 05-09-2008 10:22AM

pixelburp wrote: »

Yeah but like it mentions in the review, what's the point of a game that rewards you for *not* playing it?

It's not to everyones taste but like someone has already because Eve allows skill training rather than mind numbing grinding Eve doesn't necessarily have to take over your life to be played.

There are also many other facets from the game that reward time investment, just not necessarily character development.

The Escapist : Zero Punctuation Game Reviews

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