Stupid Girl WONT SHUT UP...

challengemaster · 19-06-2008 04:57PM

Stand behind her until she asks what you want, reply with 'i'd like you to stfu plz' and walk away.

Abi · 19-06-2008 05:20PM

Pighead wrote: »

Secondly, sneak up behind her, knock her out with a sellotape holder, gag her and then throw her into the Office Supplies cupboard and raype her for a couple of days.

Fixed. That will learn her. Annnd you get something for your troubles.

Plug · 19-06-2008 07:32PM

rape her!

slavetothegrind · 19-06-2008 07:44PM

Send a general informative e-mail to all clarifying that the telephone system in the office is in fact digital and has sophisticated electronicery inside to encode and digitally send information from a to b.
It does not rely on high decibel input from the user as you do not have to physically rattle the cable all the way to the receiving end with your vocal chords.

Failing this replace the earpiece in her phone with a high output tweeter and once she answers it give her 150 decibels of test tone,
The tinnitus will prevent further issues.

Overheal · 19-06-2008 09:17PM

Steve_o wrote: »

:mad:Ok I work in a big open plan office and there's a girl down the hall who wont shut up, How is it everyone else seems to be able to do their days work and not be heard, but she can't even answer the phone without wreckin everyones head...SHE'S SO F**KIN LOUD!! I need ideas to make it stop, no matter how wacky....

"Go back to America"?

Piste · 19-06-2008 09:27PM

Type up a note (so no one will know it's your handwriting) saying that no on can concentrate while she's being so loud and sign it "from the office", there's collective blame there then if she spazzes out over it.

ThE_IVIAcIVIAIV · 19-06-2008 09:32PM

sorry if somebody mentioned it before but how about some ''surprise sex''

ZygOte · 19-06-2008 09:46PM

Steve_o wrote: »

:mad:Ok I work in a big open plan office and there's a girl down the hall who wont shut up, How is it everyone else seems to be able to do their days work and not be heard, but she can't even answer the phone without wreckin everyones head...SHE'S SO F**KIN LOUD!! I need ideas to make it stop, no matter how wacky....

if the office is open plan how does it have a hall? :pac: if its an invisible hall maybe you can get some invisible walls put in ?

Steve_o · 19-06-2008 11:58PM

ZygOte wrote: »

if the office is open plan how does it have a hall? :pac: if its an invisible hall maybe you can get some invisible walls put in ?

It has offices down one side and its open plan the other side, so there is a hall / walkway thing ....

ZygOte · 20-06-2008 01:05AM

Steve_o wrote: »

It has offices down one side and its open plan the other side, so there is a hall / walkway thing ....

sorry couldnt help it

but seriously try a polite direct approch, just ask her does she realise she is very loud on the phone and that it is distracting to you and others in the office.

if that doesnt work just smash her face in with the phone.

Mweelrea · 20-06-2008 01:13AM

Push her down the stairs,
Make it look like it was a wet floor with no sign.
Problem solved!

kmart6 · 20-06-2008 02:00AM

Put an electric shocker on the phone Steve so she'll be scared to pick it up!:D

Steve_o · 20-06-2008 09:56AM

ZygOte wrote: »

sorry couldnt help it

but seriously try a polite direct approch, just ask her does she realise she is very loud on the phone and that it is distracting to you and others in the office.

if that doesnt work just smash her face in with the phone.

I'm gonna try this if she's loud today!!!

kmart6 wrote: »

Put an electric shocker on the phone Steve so she'll be scared to pick it up!:D

This also might work, connect the mains into the phone receiver wire somehow....

PeadarofAodh · 20-06-2008 01:42PM

Tell her you heard her talking about her dog. Inform her that you're very good at teaching dogs amazing tricks and would she like her one to learn how to play dead...permanently?

giddynurse · 20-06-2008 02:45PM

just look and sneer at her, and complain of headaches.. and loud noises..
if she doesnt pick up on this..
then just walk past her and say.. keep it down please.. some people are trying to work.. sound!

Steve_o · 20-06-2008 02:51PM

giddynurse wrote: »

just look and sneer at her, and complain of headaches.. and loud noises..
if she doesnt pick up on this..
then just walk past her and say.. keep it down please.. some people are trying to work.. sound!

This sort of idea seems to be the best, i was also thinking of standing near her desk and talk REALLY loudly on my mobile for a while and see if she gets annoyed, if she does, i'll just say "How do you like it, bitch...."

board om · 20-06-2008 04:57PM

Steve_o wrote: »

Everything from what funny thing her dog did this morning all the way up to Fair City, its gone beyond a joke tbh...

in fairness if she is female, owns a dog and watches fair city, the chances are that she hasnt got much of a life and her job is probably the only meaningful thing she has. anything you do to her at this point would just be cruel and would probably tip her over the edge once and for all. so start tipping..........

The Chessplayer · 20-06-2008 05:36PM

Steve_o wrote: »

Everything from what funny thing her dog did this morning all the way up to Fair City, its gone beyond a joke tbh... very unprofessional... And the annoying thing is none of the managers seem to be doing anything about it...

I'm tempted with the "stand behind her shouting" idea.

I bet you do absolutely nothing in work anyway, on boards half the day.

Could well be that she doesn't deem your position worthy enough for her to talk in a more private and respectful manner. She probably just assumes you to be a bureaucratic bottom-feeder.

The Chessplayer · 20-06-2008 05:38PM

Steve_o wrote: »

This sort of idea seems to be the best, i was also thinking of standing near her desk and talk REALLY loudly on my mobile for a while and see if she gets annoyed, if she does, i'll just say "How do you like it, bitch...."

Frank Grimes, or Grimey as Homer Simpson called him.

GoldenArmz · 20-06-2008 05:47PM

Shove somethin in her mouth she can suck on to shut her up.

Like a dummy.

Abi · 20-06-2008 05:59PM

Chair bomb ftw.

**** BANG!****

And the dirt is gone.

Reku · 23-06-2008 12:52PM

pickarooney wrote: »

Tell you find her laugh reeeeal sexy with just the right dose of car-park-rapist. See how loud she squeals then.

Just might work if you can get some others to spread a rumour of someone whacking off at their desk to the sound of her voice. Then again she could just be an attentionwhore and be thrilled at this thought.

To REALLY push her get her phone and disconnect the microphone, better yet put a resistor in the circuit or something, so she'll be screaming down the line trying to be heard, if nothing else it might force management to intervene in the matter. Or hey, you could get lucky and she'll strain her vocal chords so you'll be blessed with silence until they heal.:p

PS - her name doesn't begin with an O does it? Sounds a lot like a former co-worker....

Kold · 23-06-2008 01:12PM

board om wrote: »

in fairness if she is female, owns a dog and watches fair city, the chances are that she hasnt got much of a life and her job is probably the only meaningful thing she has. anything you do to her at this point would just be cruel and would probably tip her over the edge once and for all. so start tipping..........

Hahaha, this comment wins.

Steyr · 23-06-2008 01:40PM

QUESTION: Have you done anything about her yet????????????

the whole year inn · 23-06-2008 03:02PM

Slowly fill her phone with penneys,when it gets heavy enough empty the phone ,she will crack her herself in the head ,recored it upload to boards.

Start staring at her for a long periods ,if she asks you to stop say lets come to a compremise,if you shut the **** up you annoying cow Ill stop.

Stupid Girl WONT SHUT UP...

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