proposing to your guy

Dudess · 06-02-2008 09:43PM

Oh yeah, the cousins thing! Gotta invite those cousins we don't know and never see...

Toots · 06-02-2008 09:50PM

I think it'd be sweet if my OH asked my Dad for permission. But it wouldn't be 'permission' in the true sense of the word, he'd just be asking for his blessing. I can't see it happening though, it'd probably be the most awkward conversation in the history of the world!!:p

06-02-2008 11:28PM

Zulu wrote: »

But why would he buy you a ring if you asked?
The point of the ring was a security guaranteeing the wedding. Ergo, you provide the security if you ask. Personally, I'd like a nice car (watches are bad luck) and I've made that VERY clear to my better half. If she produces the keys to an A5, I'd weep like a girl and say yes!

Ah girls, equality when it suits, tradition when it doesn't.

It is not so much about a ring, I just would need some kind of initative on his part, a gesture of interest in the idea on his part.

An engagement ring in Ireland is nothing more than an imported fashion.
So yes in the US they were initally popularised because a law offering women compensation for a broken engagement was repealed.
That law was brought into place because people were having sex once they got engaged, and a woman was seen as less attractive proposal for marraige, if they were no longer virgins.
The engagement ring was built in compensation. But really what made the ring a requiste item was fashion infleunced by a massive marketing campaign by De Beers.

A5 ppffttt!.....If I was going to be bribed into a life of servitude by a non sparkling item, it would take this http://www.ferrari-world.be/Ferrari%20VIN/Essen%202003%20sony%20183%20250GTO%2062%203809GT.jpg

06-02-2008 11:30PM

Zulu wrote: »

It was a guarantee effectively - that the man would actually take the girl.
Good work - at least you're consistent! (I don't mean that in a condescending way btw)

That and the partner of the cousin you haven't seen in 15 years!! It's madness I tells yea.

It is not madness...its greed. Their looking to make a profit on the big day.

dotsman · 07-02-2008 12:03AM

angeldelight wrote: »

If my bf asked my dad's permission to marry me I'd be so annoyed!! I'm an adult, and think I have a right to know before my dad that my bf's planning on proposing. Lets be honest, unless the bf is a complete t*at, the dads going to say yes anyway, and the fact he's welcomed by my parents in the house anytime surely shows that my parents approve... also why ask my dad but not my mam?!

deisemum wrote: »

I met my now husband on a blind date almost 20 years ago and 5 months after meeting I proposed to him and we'll be married 18 years in April.

If I hadn't proposed and my now hubby was planning on asking me to marry him and had gone to my father beforehand I'd have been very angry and insulted that he'd treat me as someone's chattel

It's got nothing to do with ownership or any such nonsense. To be honest, I don't see the father turning you down unless there's something wrong with you and even if he did, I'd still marry the girl anyway.

But the fact of the matter is that, ever since you were born, there has been this man who has loved you and tried to protect you from a$$holes. He was the number 1 man in your life that you could always lean on, no matter what.

The whole asking/giving away thing is merely symbolic of the fact that the husband-to-be is now the most important man in the girl's life etc.

This of course assumes that both your father and husband are good at their respective roles!

There is, of course, no point in the girl asking the mother-in-law, 'cos she will never approve anyway!:rolleyes:

deisemum · 07-02-2008 12:26AM

dotsman wrote: »

There is, of course, no point in the girl asking the mother-in-law, 'cos she will never approve anyway!:rolleyes:

Classic, lol, this has got to be the most accurate thing I've read here.

I'd always heard of the Brendan Grace father of the bride speech but on my wedding day and a long time after it was a case of the father of the groom speech. Blo*dy father in law got up to make his speech at our wedding and told everyone that he tried to talk us out of getting married.

Zulu · 07-02-2008 10:30AM

Moonbaby wrote: »

It is not so much about a ring, I just would need some kind of initative on his part, a gesture of interest in the idea on his part.

...which conveniently happens to be the big rock every girl gets

I dunno Moonbaby, you are not convincing me - if you're doing the asking, you should provide the goods. Generally, he'd do the asking and he'd produce the goods. He'd have to do it without "some kind of initiative on your part, a gesture of interest in the idea on your part". (Other than saying "yes")

A5 ppffttt!.....If I was going to be bribed into a life of servitude by a non sparkling item, it would take this http://www.ferrari-world.be/Ferrari%20VIN/Essen%202003%20sony%20183%20250GTO%2062%203809GT.jpg

[/QUOTE]Well I was keeping it realistic, as I wouldn't want to shoot myself in the foot.

Can I question your "life of servitude" comment - I hope this is a flippant afterhours comment? You don't actually view marrage that way do you? If so, I'll get the car, if you'll do what I say - for ever

Orlee · 07-02-2008 10:43AM

Motosam wrote: »

Aha, the trap is sprung, cue papa lazarou moment,

*grins menacingly*

"Yes... you're My wife now!

Swoon

Tar.Aldarion · 07-02-2008 12:36PM

I would rather do it, a girl knows whether she will say yes or no beforehand, I don't!

LouOB · 07-02-2008 12:39PM

NEVER will I EVER propose
There will always be that voice in the back of my head - If I didnt ask would he of? Or did he just say YES becasue I asked? (and on and on and on with the paranoia, too much for me)

SheroN · 07-02-2008 01:15PM

LouOB wrote: »

NEVER will I EVER propose
There will always be that voice in the back of my head - If I didnt ask would he of? Or did he just say YES becasue I asked? (and on and on and on with the paranoia, too much for me)

And you think it's different for guys who ask?

Rob_l · 07-02-2008 01:19PM

I want a big feckin diamond if Im being proposed to or the deal is off no rock no cock :mad::mad::mad::mad:

Cardinal · 07-02-2008 01:20PM

SheroN wrote: »

And you think it's different for guys who ask?

Yes it is. It's a man's job to deal with this kind thing. Men are more emotionally stable in general. It's our duty to take on such uncertainty as we are in general better able to deal with it.

Rob_l · 07-02-2008 01:21PM

Cardinal wrote: »

Yes it is. It's a man's job to deal with this kind thing. Men are more emotionally stable in general. It's our duty to take on such uncertainty as we are in general better able to deal with it.

yeah and we have been to the moon!

Susannahmia · 07-02-2008 01:29PM

Cardinal wrote: »

Yes it is. It's a man's job to deal with this kind thing. Men are more emotionally stable in general. It's our duty to take on such uncertainty as we are in general better able to deal with it.

My urge is to abuse you but I'd just get banned.:)

Susannahmia · 07-02-2008 01:29PM

Rob_l wrote: »

I want a big feckin diamond if Im being proposed to or the deal is off no rock no cock :mad::mad::mad::mad:

Hmm which would cost me more the solicitor or the diamond? I'll have to go away and work this out.

Cardinal · 07-02-2008 01:31PM

Susannahmia wrote: »

My urge is to abuse you but I'd just get banned.:)

I can take it. I am a man after all.

Rob_l · 07-02-2008 01:32PM

Susannahmia wrote: »

Hmm which would cost me more the solicitor or the diamond? I'll have to go away and work this out.

Ok then a box of beer and a litre of whiskey should suffice:D

Susannahmia · 07-02-2008 01:32PM

Cardinal wrote: »

I can take it. I am a man after all.

Bend over. I gots a cucumber;).

Susannahmia · 07-02-2008 01:40PM

Rob_l wrote: »

Ok then a box of beer and a litre of whiskey should suffice:D

It's a deal!

Stercus Accidit · 07-02-2008 02:11PM

Orlee wrote: »

Swoon

By the way, you're Dave now,

Is that ok Dave?

harlem · 13-02-2008 01:37PM

I've been contemplating asking my OH this leap year day, & I've a ring in mind I'm going to get him.
Would it seem a little I dunno - desperate if I was to get my own ring too?

Only we've talked about getting engaged before and looked at rings, but I know he'd want to spend a small fortune on a ring for me - I wouldn't want him to feel pressured that because I'd asked him that he'd have to sell a kidney or 2 to get the money for a ring for me

Plus I've no problems paying for my own ring, I don't want a mad expensive one, we've just bought a new house and I can think of 101 better things I could spend the money on in the house!

I know it shouldn't matter what other people think at the end of the day, but I don't want to come over all Edie a la Desperate housewives!:eek::o

Coffea · 13-02-2008 01:49PM

harlem wrote: »

Would it seem a little I dunno - desperate if I was to get my own ring too?

Only we've talked about getting engaged before and looked at rings, but I know he'd want to spend a small fortune on a ring for me - I wouldn't want him to feel pressured that because I'd asked him that he'd have to sell a kidney or 2 to get the money for a ring for me

Go halves? Or would that be very unromantic?

Zulu · 13-02-2008 02:50PM

would he want a ring?
Perhaps another token would be more appropriate?

Orlee · 13-02-2008 02:54PM

Motosam wrote: »

By the way, you're Dave now,

Is that ok Dave?

Whatever you want sweetie

harlem · 21-02-2008 03:36PM

I'm still undecided, I can think of several other tokens that's he'd prefer much more like a new belt sander - it just doesn't seem to convey the same romance as a ring!
Ah well, another 8 days to decide yet :rolleyes:

Coffea · 29-02-2008 03:40PM

OP, any update?

harlem · 04-03-2008 01:43AM

Well I bit the bullet & asked my man...he said yes thank crunchie, oh the nerves leading up to it :eek:, so glad that bits over! :rolleyes::D

bronte · 04-03-2008 01:53AM

congrats!! Hope you're a happy bunny!

deisemum · 04-03-2008 09:58AM

Congrats

proposing to your guy

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