Missing inventions

Lawless_Samurai · 26-11-2007 09:56PM

lucyburn wrote: »

I do have a jacket,but umbrellas are better than jackets.

I know this is shocking off topic but women can be lethal walking down the street with the umbrella out!!! I suspect they do it on purpose!!!

:D

Back on topic... A robot that walks your dog

Duiske · 26-11-2007 09:59PM

dior1catboy wrote: »

Why distilled? Would tap water not be cheaper?

It would be, but given the amount of crap (literally) in it, it would only be a matter of time before it fecked up your motor.

XchampagneX · 26-11-2007 10:54PM

Dudess wrote: »

An alarm in your umbrella that goes off as soon as you leave it behind in the cafe/restaurant/shop/surgery etc.

an umbrella that doesn't turn inside out whenever the wind picks up a bit!!

Pigman II · 26-11-2007 11:01PM

A light emitting dildo (or L.E.D. for short).

A-Trak · 26-11-2007 11:09PM

Pigman II wrote: »

A light emitting dildo (or L.E.D. for short).

Yes, because we've all been in that awkward situation, in the pitch black, blindly groping around for our dildo.
A light emitting dildo would of course banish this embarrising situation.

Pigman II · 26-11-2007 11:11PM

This is Ireland. A lot of people still have sex with the lights off.

ojewriej · 26-11-2007 11:14PM

Pigman II wrote: »

This is Ireland. A lot of people still have sex with the lights off.

I think it's safe to say that the ones having sex with the lights off will not be using dildos.

sebastianlieken · 26-11-2007 11:16PM

a meal in the form of a pill with all the necessary nutrients and vitamins for the lazy man.

Deleted User wrote: »

Pills that can stop drug adiction (tobacco, cocaine etc), I'd give them to my kids before they get a chance to try anything and get hooked.

No addicts & (a lot of) petty crime = no pushers = no drugs barons = less crime.
Would put an end to a major cause of crime in one easy hit.

who would be dealing and sellin those magical wonder pills then?....

26-11-2007 11:17PM

Pigman II wrote: »

This is Ireland. A lot of people still have sex with the lights off.

That's because neither can be arsed to get up and turn off the light afterwards! so do it first.

Pj! · 26-11-2007 11:22PM

A button on the tv that you can press to sound a beep or something on the remote control so you know where the feckin thing has hidden this time.

So simple

Earthhorse · 26-11-2007 11:29PM

I have a few ideas for inventions which I'm surprised haven't been invented yet. I can't discuss them all here because obviously some of them are still in development and I don't want anyone to steal these ideas but the ones I can discuss I will.

p'tasteos: Basically potatos in paste form. The packaging used would be similar to that of toothpaste.

p'toastos: An extension of the p'tasteos range except this time for toast. Obviously the tagline used for both these products would be "They're p'tasty!"

But that's small time. I've come up with a superior method of seating people in the cinema. You know how it is at the minute. You arrive at the cinema and someone's in your place but you don't want to be a dick so you let them sit there and take the next available place but then a couple arrive and you're in one half of their seats so you have to bother the first guy and then he has to go and find his original seat and six minutes later everyone's playing musical chairs while the people behind you urge you to sit down so they can see Johnny Depp get directed by Tim Burton.

Well my method prevents all these problems from occurring and possibly solves a few others I hadn't thought of. Instead of getting a ticket to the cinema you get a key. The key isn't for the theatre itself but rather for your seat. All the seats are in the "up" position at the start of the day and only the key to seat, say, K11 will unlock seat K11 preventing any seating mishaps.

"Ah, but Earthhorse," I hear you say, "what if I'm late for the showing and can't find my seat. I won't just be able to sit in the nearest place available and will have to disturb the other patrons". Not so. In order to help you find your seat each key will be fitted with a small button which, when pressed, activates a powerful, blinding light helping you locate your seat and alerting other cinema goers to your arrival. The keys and seats could even be colour co-ordinated lest several people press their buttons at the same time.

"But," I hear you say again (I have pretty good speakers btw), "what if customers don't return the key?" A good point and an admitted drawback of the system. I've estimated that in order for this product to work the cost of an average cinema ticket would have to be around €500, €490 of which is a deposit. Still, other than that I think the idea's pretty flawless.

Oh and by the way, patent pending on this entire post.

26-11-2007 11:37PM

Forky wrote: »

A button on the tv that you can press to sound a beep or something on the remote control so you know where the feckin thing has hidden this time.

So simple

My cordless phone has one of them on the base station, very useful! Especially if the kids have been using it.

Fredser · 26-11-2007 11:53PM

Some kind of magic food flavouring that would make healthy food (vegetables,fruit,yuk etc) taste like nice food (chips and burgers and curries and kebabs and sausages and beer and chocolate and ice cream and more beer and steak and cider and stuff).

July · 27-11-2007 02:37AM

To carry on the umbrella theme, I've wondered why someone hasn't come up with some way of invisibly shielding the rain from falling on people (me).

Like, for instance, with some computer games, when you get the 'bonus' you get this shield around you and you can't be killed while you have it.

Can we not have a shield bubble to repel the rain? Maybe it could be something to do with electormagnetism or something, I dunno. Aside: It would also be handy if it kept us from being killed too!

2 stroke · 27-11-2007 03:18AM

An umbrella that gives the user an electric shock every time it's used to poke out an eye.

L'prof · 27-11-2007 03:44AM

Digital paper, so you never have to turn another page again!

Mahatma coat · 27-11-2007 03:48AM

July wrote: »

To carry on the umbrella theme, I've wondered why someone hasn't come up with some way of invisibly shielding the rain from falling on people (me).

Like, for instance, with some computer games, when you get the 'bonus' you get this shield around you and you can't be killed while you have it.

Can we not have a shield bubble to repel the rain? Maybe it could be something to do with electormagnetism or something, I dunno. Aside: It would also be handy if it kept us from being killed too!

shush you :mad:

will be releasin this onto the market as soon as I have fine tuned the flight capabilities

well the landin function ( picture the mars Rover landing - thats where we're at) and no you're not completely invincible even with the shield

knird evol · 27-11-2007 03:48AM

Fredser wrote: »

Some kind of magic food flavouring that would make healthy food (vegetables,fruit,yuk etc) taste like nice food (chips and burgers and curries and kebabs and sausages and beer and chocolate and ice cream and more beer and steak and cider and stuff).

Yes, theyve been putting those magic food flavorings in food for the last 100 years, giving people cancer. Those ribbons people put on the back of their cars don't counteract this effect.

ojewriej · 27-11-2007 11:12AM

So this is what we have so far:

- Central lock for the house

- means of stabbing stupid people over the Internet

- Some sort of teleportation, even for small objects.

- A cure for AIDS, cancer & the common cold.

- A pill to instantly stop hangovers.

- paperless office

- Lights bulbs that last forever

- A device that lets you type with your mind.

- Cars that run on distilled water

- Pills that can stop drug adiction (tobacco, cocaine etc),

- An alarm in your umbrella that goes off as soon as you leave it behind in the cafe/restaurant/shop/surgery etc.

- E-voting

- Time machine

- those toilets that they have in Japan that basically wipe and clean your ass for you after taking a ****.

- "Jurrasic Park"

- an umbrella that doesn't turn inside out whenever the wind picks up a bit!!

- A light emitting dildo

- a meal in the form of a pill with all the necessary nutrients and vitamins for the lazy man.

- A button on the tv that you can press to sound a beep or something on the remote control so you know where the feckin thing has hidden this time.

- p'tasteos: Basically potatos in paste form. The packaging used would be similar to that of toothpaste.

- p'toastos: An extension of the p'tasteos range except this time for toast. Obviously the tagline used for both these products would be "They're p'tasty!"

- Some kind of magic food flavouring that would make healthy food (vegetables,fruit,yuk etc) taste like nice food

- shield bubble to repel the rain

- Digital paper

Not bad for one day of brainstorming. Few more and we can have our own little Menlo Park going.

2 stroke · 27-11-2007 11:35AM

A device that lets you type with your mind could get you into a lot of trouble, it can be rather difficult to control ones thoughts at times.
Better still would be a dictation machine that typed. I seem to remember that my amiga 500+ had voice recognition, what happened to this technology?

Spud83 · 27-11-2007 11:38AM

Lawless_Samurai wrote: »

I know this is shocking off topic but women can be lethal walking down the street with the umbrella out!!! I suspect they do it on purpose!!! :D

Back on topic... A robot that walks your dog

Have you not seen the ad, buy a treadmill and throw the dog on.

Ger_Hankey · 27-11-2007 12:15PM

Earthhorse wrote: »

"But," I hear you say again (I have pretty good speakers btw), "what if customers don't return the key?" A good point and an admitted drawback of the system. I've estimated that in order for this product to work the cost of an average cinema ticket would have to be around €500, €490 of which is a deposit. Still, other than that I think the idea's pretty flawless.

Tickets with a magnetic strip, like the ones they give out at car parks. Swipe the ticket, it unlocks the seat. The whole system can be reset after the show so their is no need to return the ticket/key. Problem solved, now go make your fortune, my friend...

Terry · 27-11-2007 12:17PM

Another person looking for my inventions.

Come up with your own, dammit.

Mahatma coat · 27-11-2007 01:16PM

ojewriej wrote: »

So this is what we have so far:

- Central lock for the house

move to Alabama, live in a swanky trailer, sorted

- means of stabbing stupid people over the Internet

whilst you're in Alabama

- Some sort of teleportation, even for small objects.

how small?

- A cure for AIDS, cancer & the common cold.

death, stops most diseases

- A pill to instantly stop hangovers.

sorry its a bit bigger than a pill and it comes in a bottle

- paperless office

work outdoors, its increasingly easier

- Lights bulbs that last forever

had one but I broke it

- A device that lets you type with your mind.

they're called hands

- Cars that run on distilled water

OOOOH this one, yeah, I dont want to be abducted by Lizardpeople

- Pills that can stop drug adiction (tobacco, cocaine etc),

SERIOUS MODE - saw an article about clinical trials on this a while back in the Fin

- An alarm in your umbrella that goes off as soon as you leave it behind in the cafe/restaurant/shop/surgery etc.

seriously how hard is it to remember you have a 3 foot cane with a meter of material attached to it, hurry up with invention numbertwo

- E-voting

it Could have worked!!:rolleyes:

- Time machine

sorry, non disclosure statements n all

- those toilets that they have in Japan that basically wipe and clean your ass for you after taking a ****.

You'll find that if you check they have already been invented

- "Jurrasic Park"

fear the Raptors

- an umbrella that doesn't turn inside out whenever the wind picks up a bit!!

tis a safety feature of that soon to be outdated form of rain shield, cant havethe poplation gettin dragged off by a gale mary poppins style on the way to the shops

- A light emitting dildo

I'm sayin NAWTHIN

- a meal in the form of a pill with all the necessary nutrients and vitamins for the lazy man.

See hangover pill above

- A button on the tv that you can press to sound a beep or something on the remote control so you know where the feckin thing has hidden this time.

yeah why hasn't this been invented yet, they have it on phones

- p'tasteos: Basically potatos in paste form. The packaging used would be similar to that of toothpaste.

Mmmmmm, whats the word I'm lookin for

- p'toastos: An extension of the p'tasteos range except this time for toast. Obviously the tagline used for both these products would be "They're p'tasty!"

nope thats not it

- Some kind of magic food flavouring that would make healthy food (vegetables,fruit,yuk etc) taste like nice food

like Sauce

- shield bubble to repel the rain

Rainshield TM in stores soon-ish,

- Digital paper

like what a portable electronic screen that displays digital images

Not bad for one day of brainstorming. Few more and we can have our own little Menlo Park going.

Mentalar park here we come

..

slade_x · 27-11-2007 01:21PM

dior1catboy wrote: »

Why distilled? Would tap water not be cheaper?

sure it would, but distilled water is non corrosive

And is there an automated soup stirrer on the market yet

Pompey Magnus · 27-11-2007 01:22PM

A machine for translating monkey talk into English. I'd love to have a chat with a little monkey fella, I'd say they'd be great fun.

'Ol Jack Chance · 27-11-2007 01:26PM

Raptors ftw

Earthhorse · 27-11-2007 01:28PM

Ger_Hankey wrote: »

Tickets with a magnetic strip, like the ones they give out at car parks. Swipe the ticket, it unlocks the seat. The whole system can be reset after the show so their is no need to return the ticket/key. Problem solved, now go make your fortune, my friend...

But would the magnetic strip have a button on it that would light up your seat for you?

Still, patent pending on your post.

Mahatma coat · 27-11-2007 01:34PM

Earthhorse wrote: »

But would the magnetic strip have a button on it that would light up your seat for you?

Still, patent pending on your post.

why not just print a glow in the dark map on the back of the ticket thats stamped showin where the seat is

once you have found your seat you can place it face down thus eliminating the glow and inconvienience to other patrons who found their correct seats in time

cjt156 · 27-11-2007 01:38PM

Overheal wrote: »

a non-profit driven economic system

We tried that, some geezer called Karl? One of the Marx brothers - the funniest one I think, beard, you know the one.

lucyburn wrote: »

I do have a jacket,but umbrellas are better than jackets.

Pfft, now hold on! I've yet to see an umberellela with pockets where you can keep your bits of old string and those balls of blue fluff, and jam your hands inside & get all Boulevard-of-Broken-Dreams-ish.
Nor can it be used to drape across an offending puddle to save a fair maiden's dainty foot...better than jackets indeed!

Missing inventions

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