Dating a cousin?

LegacyUser · 13-03-2007 06:14PM #1

Is it wrong to date a cousin? The relationship we have goes like this, my grandfather is her grandfathers brother.

Just want to get peoples opinions on this.

nicolo · 13-03-2007 07:19PM

what does that make you? think thats second cousins , you should be resonably fine genetics wise that said i knew a guy whos parents where second cousins an he was a few bricks short of an outhouse. thered be a pretty nasty social thing too if you told people. plus family reunions? awkward. sounds like to much trouble if you ask me. but do it if it makes you happy.

Rowley Birkin QC · 13-03-2007 07:22PM

Genetics wise your probably ok, but i would say its a no-go for the reasons cited above

WindSock · 13-03-2007 07:37PM

I wouldnt even date a person that shares the same surname. But thats just me...

redzerdrog · 13-03-2007 07:40PM

a mate of mine is in the same situation and he gets some stick. one of the good ones is " ya have a face only a cousin could love" ha ha:D

Call Me Jimmy · 13-03-2007 07:41PM

for a quick roidin' it'd be grand but if ye's were dating your families would find out which would not be good...

faceman · 13-03-2007 07:42PM

My mate's parents are cousins. They're happily married but had to get permission from the church. He was born with a genetic defect tho.

is_that_so · 13-03-2007 07:43PM

There is also the whole thing of siblings, nephews and nieces also being cousins as well. :eek: I do believe that second cousins can be a problem genetically with more than one grandparent in common.

LegacyUser · 13-03-2007 11:52PM

This whole 'genetic defect' argument is spurious. This only applies if both of you share an inherited recessive gene that has some negative effect (incredibly rare to begin with), coupled with the probability of both recessive genes making up any potential offspring (~25%). Long story short - incredibly remote possibility.

The only reason recessive traits start manifesting with inbreeding is when there is successive interbreeding through several generations (increases the probability of some negative recessive trait (rare in itself) being expressed). For example, cultures where arranged marriages are typically with first cousins e.g. Pakistanis. A single one-off cousin-cousin relationship won't matter.

That is assuming you even intend having children with this person!!

simu · 14-03-2007 01:35AM

It's not illegal but... yuck. Imo anyways.

LegacyUser · 14-03-2007 02:24AM

'"a mate of mine is in the same situation and he gets some stick. one of the good ones is " ya have a face only a cousin could love" ha ha"

Quality!

I know it sounds weird and all, the thing is i never met her until 2 weeks ago. I recently moved out of ireland. So none of my friends are here to give me a slagging!

I haven't started dating her, just wanted to test the water. The family reunion thing doesn't bother me because my family live on the other side of the world. Thus having never seen her before.'

Overheal · 14-03-2007 03:40AM

Wikipedia goes on to talk about "degrees of kinship":

1) Siblings
2) Half-Siblings
3) First Cousins
4) Second Cousins
5) Third Cousins
6) etc.

And adopted children are (by most religious standards) considered to be biological children in every respect. The most degrees of prohibition being in Hindu afaik with 7 degrees.

Overheal · 14-03-2007 03:42AM

boreds wrote:

I wouldnt even date a person that shares the same surname. But thats just me...

Up until very recently it was expressly forbidden in China for centuries if not more. First Chinese Cousins are allowed to marry if they have different surnames.

Esel · 14-03-2007 04:02AM

is_that_so wrote:

I do believe that second cousins can be a problem genetically with more than one grandparent in common.

Second cousins share great-grandparents. No church or legal prohibition, but expect a lot of family resistance.

Children of different first cousins are second cousins. A child of your first cousin is your 'first cousin, once removed' (i.e. removed by a generation).

Jesus Wept · 14-03-2007 05:14AM

Abe Simpson: It all began when Jebediah Springfield first came to these
lands with his partner, Shelbyville Manhattan.
[flash to pilgrims approaching a hilltop]

Jebediah: People, our search is over! On this site we shall build a new
town where we can worship freely, govern justly, and grow vast
fields of hemp for making rope and blankets.

Shelbyville: Yes, and marry our cousins.

Jebediah: I was -- what are you talking about, Shelbyville? Why would
we want to marry our cousins?

Shelbyville: Because they're so attractive. I, I thought that was the
whole point of this journey.

Jebediah: Absolutely not!

Shelbyville: I tell you, I won't live in a town that robs men of the right
to marry their cousins.

AthAnRi · 14-03-2007 12:33PM

This is just wrong.

louisecm · 14-03-2007 12:37PM

I know a couple who met while in their twenties because they were second cousins, they were friends for a couple of years and then they wound up getting together. The family was pretty gobsmacked but they got over it, and now they just get slaggings. They have a baby and he is gorgeous and perfectly healthy. It may seem like a foreign concept to many but I don't think its that big of a deal.

Jocksy · 14-03-2007 12:42PM

Second cousins are miles apart. You have (or should at least) have 8 great grandparents so being 1/8th the same kin isn't something to worry about.

Eoin · 14-03-2007 01:13PM

nicolo wrote:

plus family reunions? awkward.

Well, at least you don't have to introduce her to everyone.

is_that_so · 14-03-2007 01:29PM

esel wrote:

Second cousins share great-grandparents. No church or legal prohibition, but expect a lot of family resistance.

Children of different first cousins are second cousins. A child of your first cousin is your 'first cousin, once removed' (i.e. removed by a generation).

Being part of a very large extended family it is important that we meet up every so often just so you know who the cousins are and don't "bump into them" somewhere. That said there was a marriage between first cousins which produced a healthy child.

Second cousins can have the two related grandparents based on what you say but we are probably into "Duelling Banjos" territory. (Doesn't bear thinking about :rolleyes: )

Me - Brother= grandparents

Child-Child = first cousins (child)
Child-Child = second cousins (grandchild)

padser · 14-03-2007 02:21PM

eoin_s wrote:

Well, at least you don't have to introduce her to everyone.

and you will save loads on christmas cards as well.

Seriously though I think second cousin is a bit close for comfort to be honest

Esel · 15-03-2007 02:14AM

is_that_so wrote:

Second cousins can have the two related grandparents based on what you say but we are probably into "Duelling Banjos" territory. (Doesn't bear thinking about :rolleyes: )

Me - Brother= grandparents

Child-Child = first cousins (child)
Child-Child = second cousins (grandchild)

Based on what I said???

You are wrong here. Look at my post again. To simplify:

Siblings share parents ( Doh!)

First cousins share one set of grandparents

Second cousins share one set of great-grandparents

Etc.

Etc.

magicbastarder · 28-03-2007 10:54PM

Kissin' Cousins wrote:

This whole 'genetic defect' argument is spurious. This only applies if both of you share an inherited recessive gene that has some negative effect (incredibly rare to begin with), coupled with the probability of both recessive genes making up any potential offspring (~25%). Long story short - incredibly remote possibility.

the recessive gene for cystic fibrosis is carried by 1 in 22 people of european descent.

Ickle Magoo · 28-03-2007 11:02PM

I don't think legally it is "wrong" but surely there are enough people in the world that folks don't have to have sexual relations with family members, regardless of how distant the link?!

Alter-Ego · 28-03-2007 11:34PM

Tis wrong. I have quite a large extended family and the thought of being involved with any of them is just...WRONG!!!

kraggy · 29-03-2007 12:41AM

esel wrote:

Based on what I said???

You are wrong here. Look at my post again. To simplify:

Siblings share parents ( Doh!)

First cousins share one set of grandparents

Second cousins share one set of great-grandparents

Etc.

Etc.

He/She is not wrong. Second cousin is the child of your parent's first cousin.

Check out wiki if you need to and look at the chart.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cousin

SoBe · 29-03-2007 12:50AM

is_it_wrong wrote:

I recently moved out of ireland.

where did you move to? tennesee?
well i guess when in rome etc.....but seriously......ewwwww cousins

Esel · 29-03-2007 12:53AM

kraggy wrote:

He/She is not wrong. Second cousin is the child of your parent's first cousin.

Check out wiki if you need to and look at the chart.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cousin

Suggest you look at the chart again. Look carefully at the 'Me' line and you will see I am correct. Look upwards from 'First Cousin' and 'Second Cousin' to see the common ancestors. Doh.

Mr Pinchy123 · 29-03-2007 01:00AM

I Think its absolute sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

davyjose · 29-03-2007 01:06AM

SoBe wrote:

where did you move to? tennesee?

LMAO

I don't know my second cousins, so TBH I could care less, but as stated, it might casuse the odd awkward moment, but if ya love her sod everyone else (if not .... abort abort abort)

LegacyUser · 29-03-2007 02:49AM

'

esel wrote:

Suggest you look at the chart again. Look carefully at the 'Me' line and you will see I am correct. Look upwards from 'First Cousin' and 'Second Cousin' to see the common ancestors. Doh.

c'mon. u guys are both saying the same thing in different ways. this isn't that complicated.

yes, your 2nd cousin is the child of your parents 1st cousin, and yes that means you share great grandparents...'

Dating a cousin?

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