Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Help Keep Boards Alive. Support us by going ad free today. See here: https://subscriptions.boards.ie/.
If we do not hit our goal we will be forced to close the site.

Current status: https://keepboardsalive.com/

Annual subs are best for most impact. If you are still undecided on going Ad Free - you can also donate using the Paypal Donate option. All contribution helps. Thank you.
https://www.boards.ie/group/1878-subscribers-forum

Private Group for paid up members of Boards.ie. Join the club.

Dating a cousin?

2»

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,257 ✭✭✭Love2love


    I know a couple who are first cousins and married with a baby on the way. They are from Tunisia and its the norm there. I knew there was something strange about them, he was dog ugly and she was beautiful. I asked my boyfriend and apparently,he just said I want to marry her and she had to say yes or she would be shunned by the family. But they are really happy! Well on the outside anyway.

    Its not something I agree with personally but I am not going to judge anyone else. If you really like/love her then it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks because at the end of the day it is your life.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 155 ✭✭veryslowey


    i think its fine and woudl go for it of i was you


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 463 ✭✭greenkittie


    I know two first cousins who are married with 4 kids, all now grown up, very beautiful and all at oxford or cambridge. I wouldnt personaly know my cousins if i met them on the street. If you didnt grow up with them i see nothing wrong with it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,414 ✭✭✭kraggy


    esel wrote:
    Suggest you look at the chart again. Look carefully at the 'Me' line and you will see I am correct. Look upwards from 'First Cousin' and 'Second Cousin' to see the common ancestors. Doh. :(

    I am not disputing what you said yourself, i'm disputing your saying that Is_that_so was wrong.

    He/She was not wrong when he/she gave this diagram:

    Me - Brother= grandparents

    Child-Child = first cousins (child)
    Child-Child = second cousins (grandchild)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,401 ✭✭✭✭Anti


    the pair of you need to elope to somewhere like brazil where this **** is the norm. IDK if its a second cousin, it still seems wrong to me......

    /me shudders


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,322 ✭✭✭Maccattack


    Imagine being a child. Knowing your parents were cousins.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    '
    the recessive gene for cystic fibrosis is carried by 1 in 22 people of european descent.

    A meaningless statistic in this context since the vast majority of potential mates, in this country at least, will be of European descent, cousins or not. Worst case scenario: 1/22 * 1/22 * 1/4 = 0.05% of a cystic fibrosis child regardless of cousin/non-cousin status of mate. I'll take those odds. Especially, if I was in love.

    Now, if there was a family history of cystic fibrosis then that would be a different story, but none has been mentioned.'


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,295 ✭✭✭Acid_Violet


    Do you really like her? Seriously, there are enough women in the world without considering some-one who's related to you.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,869 ✭✭✭Calibos


    Had a little think about this and I think it all hinges on whether the prospective coupleand their close relatives know the other families or have much contact with them.

    Some families are close and all the cousins know all the other cousins and spent a lot of time with them up to the late teens. My mothers side were like this. Other families like my dads and my mates are the opposite extreme. They barely know any of their first cousins never mind second.

    Now I was a little perplexed at some peoples responses like 'eeew, Yuck" etc I would have expected this reaction to the thoughts of a relationship between first cousins but whats the big deal about seconds?? On the surface I didn't really have a problem with a second cousin relationship.

    Then I thought about placing some of my own family in the family tree examples posted by others. What I came up with was this.

    I can't see myself having a problem dating a second cousin on my fathers side because I don't know them....at all. TBH I don't even know if I have any on that side!!. I know one or two of the parents of this hypothetical second cousin on my dads side (ie my dads cousins) I can't see my dad having a problem with it either as he barely knows these cousins of his never mind their kids (ie my second cousins that I might date).

    Bit different on my mums side. Just like all my cousins grew up together and I know them all. My mum knew all her cousins too. So while I won't have known any of my second cousins on that side my mum will know the parents very well. So while I probably wouldn't have a problem dating those second cousins I can imagine my mum might find it a bit icky.

    Similarily while none of us cousins (with non related partners hopefully :D ) have had any kids yet, when we do those kids might not know each other. Cousins even in close families do drift apart. So while my kid might not have a problem dating a second cousin just like I mightn't in the same situation, I actually would have a problem with my kid dating my cousins kid just like my mum would have a problem with me dating her cousins kid.

    Thing is though, that if we discovered we were second cousins before we fell for each other that would probably nip the whole thing in the bud anyway. If I didn't find out we were related till after we had fallen for each other then finding out wouldn't stop me. Would stop me if I was already in love but happened to be inadvertantly dating a first cousin though!! (Can't happen though, I know all my first cousins on both sides)


Advertisement