Lost confidence because of a scar

Fajitas! · 13-01-2007 11:13PM

He sounds like a muppet, don't mind him.

If it's any good to you or would make you feel more comfortable, aloe vera works very well on scars, I had a 5 inch scar on my elbow, which is pretty hard to see these days, along with plenty of them on my hands, feet and legs from kayaking. Most of them are gone now with aloe vera.

kowloon · 14-01-2007 07:08AM

I had a girl show me her scar once, i still treasure that moment, then she got into a long term relationship with a mate :mad:

kryan1 · 14-01-2007 03:33PM

Personally speaking (28male) no, i would have no problems with scars. and just 2 repeat what the other guys said, he was a jurk and thankfully u can see him for what he truely is. If u have the personality and (from my perspective the eyes) any guy would be putty in ur hands...

Sangre · 14-01-2007 05:43PM

When I first read this thread I was phyiscally repulsed by your ex's reaction. I even doubted if the post was true as I could never imagine anyone being that callous, insensitive or just plain idiotic.

Then I saw your photo on AH, rofl, what a retard!

Cancer-chick · 08-03-2007 11:20AM

I have a scar right across my neck from surgery to remove a cancerous tumour. I am 27, had been thru a crap relationship with a guy who sounds similar to the excuse for a man who left you. My now fiancee and i were literally only just dating when i was diagnosed and i refused to see him after the surgery. When my best friend brought him in and left the room i broke down. Letting him see the scar was one of the hardest things i had to do..I had seen my mums mastectomy scar to boost her up and show her that to me if it kept her alive it was amazing ! So i had been aon both sides.. My man knows that i still struggle with my self image..having the thyroid removed slowed my metabolism so not only did i have the scar ion the most visible of places but i put on over a stone as well..
Paul has never made me feel anything but loved.. that is what a real man would do girl. This guy is not worth your thoughts or your time. Be grateful, please, that you didnt have cancer and dont have to live with the uncertainty.
Be kind to yourself, learn to accept yourself, its the only body u have so u may as well like it

All the best from a fellow scar bearer
(PS had a small child staring at me the 1st day i felt brave enough not to cover it up .. he pointed about 6 times and his mum was looking mortified so i leaned over and said ..'it was a SHARK' !! ha ha .. dunno who looked more shocked, the kid or my bf

!!

Cancer-chick · 08-03-2007 11:50AM

I have a scar right across my neck from surgery to remove a cancerous tumour. I am 27, had been thru a crap relationship with a guy who sounds similar to the excuse for a man who left you. My now fiancee and i were literally only just dating when i was diagnosed and i refused to see him after the surgery. When my best friend brought him in and left the room i broke down. Letting him see the scar was one of the hardest things i had to do..I had seen my mums mastectomy scar to boost her up and show her that to me if it kept her alive it was amazing ! So i had been aon both sides.. My man knows that i still struggle with my self image..having the thyroid removed slowed my metabolism so not only did i have the scar ion the most visible of places but i put on over a stone as well..
Paul has never made me feel anything but loved.. that is what a real man would do girl. This guy is not worth your thoughts or your time. Be grateful, please, that you didnt have cancer and dont have to live with the uncertainty.
Be kind to yourself, learn to accept yourself, its the only body u have so u may as well like it

All the best from a fellow scar bearer
(PS had a small child staring at me the 1st day i felt brave enough not to cover it up .. he pointed about 6 times and his mum was looking mortified so i leaned over and said ..'it was a SHARK' !! ha ha .. dunno who looked more shocked, the kid or my bf

TerrorFirmer · 08-03-2007 11:59AM

metaoblivia wrote:

I know it sounds ridiculous, but it did happen. Obviously, no way to prove it to you, but such is life.

I know people can be cruel but as someone else said that sound so bad as to be made up. He was clearly an outright gimp with no respect for you, I can't consider anybody could possibly be anything else having terminated a relationship over a.... scar. the mind boogles.

watna · 08-03-2007 12:42PM

You really don't need to worry. Any man that sees you topless is only going to be thinking "yes... I got her top off!!" go me! As most other posters said, scars are cool. They all have a story and mark a point in your life. If you tell men you have a scar on your breast it will just make them more eager to see them (if that's possible!)

I have one or two scars on my body and I use Palmer's Cocoa butter (you can get it in most chemists). The best part about it is it smells lovely and is a great moisturiser as well as reducing scars and stretch marks.

mmmmm cocoa butter!

Petey2006 · 08-03-2007 01:39PM

Anyone that shallow to be put off by a scar isn't worth it. Not all of us men are like that, believe me.

super_furry · 08-03-2007 02:25PM

He was a complete gob****e, seriously, I know others have said it but it's so rediculous that it sounds made up, even though it isn't.

Anyway scars are sexy, and I should know, I've got enough.

king_of_inismac · 08-03-2007 03:06PM

The question is, do you think you'd want to be with someone who'd abandon you when you were at your most vunerable and needed support the most?

Forget about him, he was an ass, and why should you let the actions of an inconsiderate ass make YOU feel bad about YOURSELF!?!

Think of the scar as a natural filter, anyone you can't accept you for the amazing person you are, scars and all, its not someone worthy of you in the first place.

newtons_apple · 08-03-2007 04:04PM

Sangre wrote:

Then I saw your photo on AH, rofl, what a retard!

I just saw your photo too...and you're absolutely beautiful! Your previous boyfriend's actions were shallow, grossly insensitive and nothing short of shameful, and he's a sorry excuse for a man if that's his attitude towards women - you're much better off without that kind of person around you. Trust me, there are many genuine, worthwhile guys out there that would count themselves lucky to have the opportunity to go out with you, and I can safely say that a small scar is not going to make a bit of difference as to how attractive they find you. You're a beautiful girl, and you are appealing to men (I'm a guy, I know), so don't let one small-minded person's naive remarks get you down. Chin up

Gordon · 08-03-2007 04:46PM

king_of_inismac wrote:

Think of the scar as a natural filter, anyone you can't accept you for the amazing person you are, scars and all, its not someone worthy of you in the first place.

My first thoughts too (although I was doubting the authenticity of the OP initially too). I prefer to think of it as an idiot filter, the scar, if someone thinks of you as damaged goods for having a scar then they need a reality check.

What will your ex do when/if he is involved in a car crash or some sort of accident that is not of his creation and he gets scarred from it? Or maybe the rules don't apply to him? Meh, who cares what he thinks!

Scars rock!

dudara · 08-03-2007 09:12PM

I have a large scar on my chest from heart surgery from when I was 10 years old. It's still fairly visible, but I don't make any effort to cover it up. It is part of me and every time I see it in the mirror, I'm glad that I have it, rather than not having this life and my parents not having a daughter.

Live life, look forward to it, and use the scar to remind you that every day is worth living.

Wibbs · 08-03-2007 10:02PM

When I read this I intially thought no way. Unreal. I think dudara's advice is spot on. Everyone else on this thread is by and large in the majority of saying WTF. That should tell you that most don't think like this. It's a special part of you and a living reminder of what you've been through. It's a badge of honour.

In the end I think Gordon puts it best, don't think of it as a scar think of it as an idiot filter. Seems to be accurately calibrated from what you have written.

Trinity · 08-03-2007 10:28PM

You havent lost confidence because of the scar, you lost it because of how your ex made you feel about it.

I hope the responses here reassures you that the majority of people would not be as cruel and shallow.

Its natural to be a bit scared, i have a scar from my c section, you really do forget about it when you meet someone nice who likes everything about you and makes you feel beautiful and special.

I hope you find that someone!!

Wibbs · 09-03-2007 12:40AM

Trinity1 wrote:

You havent lost confidence because of the scar, you lost it because of how your ex made you feel about it.

Nail on head.

I hope the responses here reassures you that the majority of people would not be as cruel and shallow.

Exactomundo. That's all you need to hear to realise that muppets exist, scar or no scar. Consider yourself lucky that you've a muppet early warning system. The rest of us have to await developments.

GLaDOS · 09-03-2007 01:19AM

Having seen your picture, the only thing I can say is......so your your single then

?

Seriously (for the 7000th time) your ex is a d1ck and your much better off without him. When I heard my gf would be getting a scar due to an operation on her elbow, the only thing I thought was "cool"

Wibbs · 09-03-2007 01:53AM

ScienceNerd wrote:

Having seen your picture, the only thing I can say is......so your your single then ?

Same here. I think I could best describe my reaction as ... Damn! Oh yea, Humunana..... wooot, kerching....Ohh baby... etc

Dammmit woman, a man should consider himself priviledged to be able to see your scar. Anything else is a bonus.

Seriously (for the 7000th time) your ex is a d1ck and your much better off without him. When I heard my gf would be getting a scar due to an operation on her elbow, the only thing I thought was "cool"

Exactly. It's not just chicks who dig scars you know..:)

brianthebard · 09-03-2007 02:10AM

Hey OP,

Just wanted to offer my support. You really have nothing to worry about, I know it can be hard getting knocked back by someone on such a superficial reason but your scar is part of you, and if a person wants to get close to you then they'll like the scar as well. I have a fairly long scar above and a little to the left of my *ahem* dangly bits, from a hernia operation when I was ten. In terms of intimate spots for scars, its pretty high on the list, but it doesn't bother me and it has never bothered the (admittedly few) women that I've been with. I hope that you can find the confidence to move on and find a real man who isn't as shallow as the last guy.

metaoblivia · 12-03-2007 07:39PM

I just wanted to thank everyone for responding. It's such a silly thing to get worked up about, but when you're under that much stress and worry, the little comments have a wya of getting under your skin sometimes.
But I'm single now and enjoying it and I've moved on from that muppet.

Again, thank you everyone for your support!

Lost confidence because of a scar

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