The Marts Springer Show

The Bollox · 18-12-2006 04:06PM #1

hello and welcome to this, the first episode of the Marts Springer show. This is where disgruntled people come to iron out their differences. For legal reasons it should be noted this show has no basis, or affiliation with the Gerry Springer show... anyway, on with the show applause

Sofaspud · 18-12-2006 08:43PM

Marts, my mom says I'm the coolest kid in school, but nobody else believes me.

How should I kill them all?

Kojak · 18-12-2006 08:56PM

What's the title of today's show, Marts?

Is it "Sizzling Lesbian Sex Scandals" or "Springer saves 70 million tonne man"

The Bollox · 18-12-2006 09:23PM

well, Sofaspud, firstly you need to talk it over with them all. AND HERE THEY ARE! COME IN EVERYBODY! *takes safe seat and grabs box of popcorn*

do the audience have any questions?

Sofaspud · 18-12-2006 09:39PM

Firstly, I'd like to ask an open question to the audience.

Why do you all taunt me so?

Lust4Life · 18-12-2006 09:55PM

Ooh! I have a question! I have a question!
How can a saucy show like this have such a sexy host?:D

The Bollox · 18-12-2006 09:59PM

good question, I like her [calls rep] yeah Dave, it's Marts, we need this chick as our co-host... yeah get back to me asap on that[/call rep]

[to Sofaspud] just throw a damn chair at someone! [/to Sofaspud]

Lust4Life · 18-12-2006 10:03PM

Oh, wait! I have another question. Sofaspud, is that an accordion case beside your chair? Are you trying to tell this audience you are cool while in fact you may be the Ameature Accordion Contest winner of 2003, 2005 and 2006 at St. Alphonzo's Church Charity Bake-Off Jamboree?

[Audience Ghasps in Horror!]

Sofaspud · 18-12-2006 10:11PM

Lust4Life wrote:

Oh, wait! I have another question. Sofaspud, is that an accordion case beside your chair? Are you trying to tell this audience you are cool while in fact you may be the Ameature Accordion Contest winner of 2003, 2005 and 2006 at St. Alphonzo's Church Charity Bake-Off Jamboree?

[Audience Ghasps in Horror!]

Hey! Accordian is the coolest instrument in the world. It requires a lot of stamina, with all of the button pushing and heaving!

I mean, can you honestly tell me you wouldn't like to sex this guy right up?

*throws chair at lusty*

The Bollox · 18-12-2006 10:18PM

*ratings go up from 0 to 2* noooow we're getting somewhere. (to Sofa) Lusty said you have no penis btw. (to Lusty) Sofa said your face looks like someone tried put out a forest fire with a screw driver

Sofaspud · 18-12-2006 10:20PM

Marts wrote:

Lusty said you have no penis btw.

Hey! That's a medical condition, and it's not having the penis that counts, it's how you use it.

Ruu_Old · 18-12-2006 10:23PM

*throws*

The Bollox · 18-12-2006 10:24PM

hey hey, leave Cousin It out of it!

The Bollox · 18-12-2006 10:25PM

I'd just like to inform you that our rating have sky-rocketed to 5!

applause

Sofaspud · 18-12-2006 10:27PM

Marts wrote:

hey hey, leave Cousin It out of it!

Man's got no penis, he's gotta improvise.

The Bollox · 18-12-2006 10:30PM

what baffles me is how you fit him between your legs, you must take lessons from Lusty HAI-OO!

oh and I hired a bouncer for when it gets too rough, and here he is:

Sofaspud · 18-12-2006 10:35PM

Marts wrote:

oh and I hired a bouncer for when it gets too rough, and here he is:

Well it's about time for me to get ROWDAY!

Lust4Life · 18-12-2006 11:05PM

/Hanging head in shame....

Okay, Sofa Spud. You caught me. I'll admit it! I too own an accordion!
And I'll go even further and admit I am the Love Child of Judy Tenuta and Brad Pitt.

You see, long before Angelina..... Long before Jennifer... there was Judy. Oh it was horrible. Brad was young and hawt. Judy was... about my age.... oh, she had her way with him... in the restroom of a filthy Petrol Station. Oh, how can I ever rise above such humble beginnings?

/sobs and runs off stage.

The Bollox · 18-12-2006 11:08PM

oh I am SO in there *runs after Lusty*

I'm going to leave Optimus Primus in charge

Lust4Life · 18-12-2006 11:18PM

Oh, and one more thing. Accordion Tape is awesome in the boudoir! Hee hee!

/Tapes Up Marts in his dressing room.

The Bollox · 18-12-2006 11:26PM

niceeee

Sparky · 19-12-2006 12:42AM

<

My Mother sucked my brothers cellphone while I made some ice cream

>

Yo' muthaf*uckar....I sawh yo doin' it.

/gets up out of chair

randylonghorn · 19-12-2006 01:30AM

Sparky-s wrote:

<
My Mother sucked my brothers **** while I made some **** cream
>

Yo' muthaf*uckar....I sawh yo doin' it.

/gets up out of chair

/shouts from audience

I know just where you're coming from, bud ... my mother always preferred my brother, too!

Lust4Life · 19-12-2006 01:51AM

Allright, Dammit! Why are my accordion keys all sticky?

Sofaspud! I know you borrowed it! Are you sure you know the correct way to PLAY the accordion?

The Bollox · 19-12-2006 01:59AM

yeah Sofaspud, why would you do a thing like that... :rolleyes:

aaaaanyway lets get on with the show, the topic today is "the damn toilet seat is meant to be up, not down, b*tch!" who is going to be our first speaker?

Sparky · 19-12-2006 02:10AM

his name is spider....

Star Lord · 19-12-2006 08:26AM

Hi Marts, I'd just like to say, big fan of the show.

Now what I've come here today to reveal, is that I've been seeing my mothers brothers illigitimate daughters friends aquaintance behind my hot tempered trailer trash daughter-of-incestious-parents girlfriends back.

But my problem is that I have a fetish none of them know about. I sneak out every night to go swim naked in a swimming pool full of porridge, and they just don't understand me.

Kojak · 19-12-2006 01:27PM

*Bouncer jumps in to stop fighting*

The Bollox · 19-12-2006 02:00PM

well, Damo, your fetish is very interesting. Infact here's my card, call me.
As for the whole affair behind your girlfriends back, don't worry about that, we've all done her

Star Lord · 19-12-2006 03:39PM

/me throws chair at sluttish girlfriends single remaining crooked tooth...

Woot! Go Marts! Go Marts!

/me dives into paddling pool full of porridge that the bouncers wheeled out

Hail 2 Da Chimp · 19-12-2006 04:05PM

//Me gives the audience a golden shower!

The Marts Springer Show

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