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The Marts Springer Show

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13

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    #62
    randylonghorn
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 29,509 Mod ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    Spanky-s wrote:
    Well they all put my bed to the test. It survived.
    It mightn't have if you had been awake at the time ... :D


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    #63
    The Bollox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    Hello and welcome to The Marts Springer Show, today my guests are all annoyed at their friends for taking their men! it's called "yo, bitch, my baby ain't your play thing!"


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    #64
    Lust4Life
    Registered Users Posts: 6,350 ✭✭✭Lust4Life


    Oh my. It may be best if I skip this episode. I'll be wearing chairs left and right!
    I don't mean to do it! I just love my men! :p


    Edit: Why won't someone steal mine? Heh!


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    #65
    The Bollox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    because we all want to steal you.

    It's strange how it's not going today, after all it is the Christmas special


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    #66
    Sparky
    Registered Users Posts: 22,231 ✭✭✭✭Sparky


    whatsit1.jpg
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular]Derek
    [/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular]Rock On!!![/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular]Ready for a road trip? Me and my boys are startin' a band and we're gonna be touring. We need some hot young chicks to be our groupies. Must be willing to share expen$es. Owning your own van a plus. Next stop MTV baby! Open minded and ready for adventure? This is the ad for you! P.S. unless you're not HOT. Then don't bother.[/FONT]


    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular]woman2.jpg[/FONT]


    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular]I wanna ride tha' son of a bitch above ya'll
    [/FONT]



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    #67
    Lust4Life
    Registered Users Posts: 6,350 ✭✭✭Lust4Life


    Good day! And welcome to today's episode of The Marts Springer Show!

    Our host is slightly delayed in his dressing room and asked if I would start the show for him! (Well at least I assumed he meant for me to come out here and announce today's subject. Yet in retrospect....)

    Anyway, today's show is about coping with disfunctional families over the Christmas week! Our guests have serveral options and methods they use to get through it all!

    And oh, look! My own family has flown here all the way from Wisconsin! And hey! They're all totally drunk and happy and loving each other! Ah yes, stage three of the 4Life Family drunk. The "I love you Man!" stage! The best way to get through any stressful family gathering imo!


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    #68
    The Bollox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    *hops out while trying to get right foot into trousers*

    thanks Lusty for that fine introduction. Our first guest says his/her sister is the sluttiest over the chrimbo period *shudder* I mean time, and wants to say it to her face. Welcome out *name*


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    #69
    Sofaspud
    Registered Users Posts: 3,625 ✭✭✭Sofaspud


    Howya marts?

    You're a censor! How dare you?

    Lusty and you. . . . you're insufferable arseholes! You arseholes!

    You're a piece of shit, you piece of shit!


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    #70
    The Bollox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    HEY! just because I SMELL like shit doesn't mean I AM shit. Legs, Louis, gettim fellas


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    #71
    Sofaspud
    Registered Users Posts: 3,625 ✭✭✭Sofaspud


    *drives through the front door of TCN studios*


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    #72
    Sparky
    Registered Users Posts: 22,231 ✭✭✭✭Sparky


    omg


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    #73
    Lust4Life
    Registered Users Posts: 6,350 ✭✭✭Lust4Life


    Sofaspud! Are you my Sister-in-law? :p
    Drink! Drink! Then we'll all get along!


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    #74
    Sofaspud
    Registered Users Posts: 3,625 ✭✭✭Sofaspud


    Lust4Life wrote:
    Sofaspud! Are you my Sister-in-law? :p
    Drink! Drink! Then we'll all get along!


    *checks*

    Unless your sister in law has a willy, I don't think so.

    Ahh, drink. The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

    Today on Marts Springer, "My alcoholic sister in law has a willy"


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    #75
    The Bollox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    who the hell wants this in your pants?

    A2498183-19.gif


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    #76
    Sofaspud
    Registered Users Posts: 3,625 ✭✭✭Sofaspud


    Marts wrote:
    who the hell wants this in your pants?

    Well . . .


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    #77
    Kojak
    Registered Users Posts: 12,801 ✭✭✭✭Kojak


    *raises hand*

    Mr Springer, I have a question.

    "If he is this lad's daddy, where he been at??"


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    #78
    Sofaspud
    Registered Users Posts: 3,625 ✭✭✭Sofaspud


    Kojak wrote:
    *raises hand*

    Mr Springer, I have a question.

    "If he is this lad's daddy, where he been at??"

    Oh no you di-int!


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    #79
    The Bollox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    He's been ridin' Sofa's oul wan


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    #80
    Sofaspud
    Registered Users Posts: 3,625 ✭✭✭Sofaspud


    Marts wrote:
    He's been ridin' Sofa's oul wan

    Well we've established that problem already, thanks for opening wounds :(


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    #81
    The Bollox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    no sweat, that's what they pay me for, or atleast they did when I worked in the abattoir...


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    #82
    Star Lord
    Registered Users Posts: 30,123 ✭✭✭✭Star Lord


    Hi Marts!

    I have a strange fear that my penis may be plotting to kill me while I sleep!


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    #83
    Lust4Life
    Registered Users Posts: 6,350 ✭✭✭Lust4Life


    Oh now that is a visual image I don't think we want to catch on film! :eek: :p


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    #84
    The Bollox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    oh yes, I had that problem aswell. What I do is I strangle it every night. Finally when it gives up it spits out it's spinal fluid. I always feel great after killing it, but due to witchcraft it returns every night and in the presence of Eliza Dushku...


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    #85
    Sofaspud
    Registered Users Posts: 3,625 ✭✭✭Sofaspud


    Marts wrote:
    oh yes, I had that problem aswell. What I do is I strangle it every night. Finally when it gives up it spits out it's spinal fluid. I always feel great after killing it, but due to witchcraft it returns every night and in the presence of Eliza Dushku...

    The most effective way to stop it, I find, is to give its spherical henchmen a good judo-chopping.

    Either that or watch "The Political Party" on TV3. Great penis-deterrent, is that.


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    #86
    randylonghorn
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 29,509 Mod ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    Sofaspud wrote:
    The most effective way to stop it, I find, is to give its spherical henchmen a good judo-chopping.
    Dear God, man, see a shrink!!!

    I'm completely behind Marts on this one ... though I've never got spinal fluid out of mine. Am I doing something wrong? :confused:


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    #87
    challengemaster
    Registered Users Posts: 16,931 ✭✭✭✭challengemaster


    you might be.. let me see what you're doing :p


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    #88
    randylonghorn
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 29,509 Mod ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    Definitely f***ing corrupted!!!

    It's that wetsuit, isn't it ... it's too tight in strategic places, I'm guessing ... :D


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    #89
    challengemaster
    Registered Users Posts: 16,931 ✭✭✭✭challengemaster


    well.. tight enough so that it shows off the 'package' well :D


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    #90
    randylonghorn
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 29,509 Mod ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

    Dude!! ... Lusty will be threatening you with trailer-loads of coal for next Christmas!!!!!

    :D


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    #91
    challengemaster
    Registered Users Posts: 16,931 ✭✭✭✭challengemaster


    hmm... not after she gets the pics of me in that wetsuit! :D


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