Wanted: Stalkee

Deer · 18-08-2006 01:15PM #1

Requirements: Male, Cuckoos' Nestee, Age between 25 - 30, gsoh, largely endowed, pecs, long tongue, must have a fetish for furry handcuffs, must know what the word badanage means, must not already have a cuckoo's nest stalker, must like brunettes and must also pm me a picture of their bum.

In return I will devote myself to stalking all your cuckoos nest postings and wreck your head. But I am cute. That will make up for it!

Doomspell · 18-08-2006 01:18PM

Lol!!! I see this is L4L and Jules's doing.

Lust4Life · 18-08-2006 01:22PM

OMG she's a fast learner!:p

Excellent (Smithers)! We shall school this apt pupil well. We have the ability to make her even more evil than we are!

Hellm0 · 18-08-2006 01:24PM

Any specific types of bum you would prefer? Slim, padded, large, two eggs in a handkercheif...?

Deer · 18-08-2006 01:26PM

Hellm0 wrote:

Any specific types of bum you would prefer? Slim, padded, large, two eggs in a handkercheif...?

I need to see the photo's first before I can make that preference

Dirk Gently · 18-08-2006 01:36PM

I'd like to offer myself up as a sacrificial lamb but I'm afraid I'm all stalked out at the moment. Only last night I caught doomspell and Jules trying to install secret webcams in my shower. They were under orders from Lust4life. If no one else offers I suppose you can join the other sex crazed lusty Looney fe-boardsies in the nest and proceed to stalk me but please exhaust all other possibilities first.

Good luck in your quest to find some poor innocent Hunky male boardsie to stalk and harass. Very nice of you to ask permission I must say. Most of the sex crazed fe-boardsies round here just stalk you and don’t give you a choice about it. I look forward to been even more out numbered than usual by the ever growing girlie stalker TCN gang.

P.s. my sexy ass is posted in the show us your assets thread, enjoy!

Realisticly though scraggs is the only fe-boardsie for me and your wasting your time Miss Deer. Scraggs smells like flogs

Lust4Life · 18-08-2006 01:38PM

Thorougly enjoying those web-cam shots, babe! More nuduty I say!

Dirk Gently · 18-08-2006 01:53PM

Lust4Life wrote:

Thorougly enjoying those web-cam shots, babe! More nuduty I say!

I'm making a fortune on yours. All the kids on the street keep handing over their pocket money. I charge a euro per minute. They sit in front of the computer for hours at a time. I don't know where they get the money from, although there is a crime wave hitting the area since I set up your web cam. All the kids must be stealing to pay for their lusty lady fix.

p.s. your Husband is the housewives favourite. Half of them have their green cards ready so if you start to notice a lot of Irish women hanging round your town you had better lock the Hubby up because they're after him. :eek:

Deer · 18-08-2006 01:57PM

Clownbag - that is a very stalkable ass. I will definately be keeping you in mind. Do you prefer it donkey style? What method would that be?

Lust4Life · 18-08-2006 02:00PM

Glad to help out in keeping you well stocked in ciggys!:p

Scraggs · 18-08-2006 02:02PM

Eyes off the goods Deer, that Cbag is mine!

Deer · 18-08-2006 02:03PM

... on my first day too......

Deer · 18-08-2006 02:05PM

But I will point out that he did offer his services the bold boy....

Think you'll have to give him a spanking sgraggs!

Dirk Gently · 18-08-2006 02:05PM

Scraggs wrote:

Eyes off the goods Deer, that Cbag is mine!

You tell her scraggalicious.

scraggs ftw.

edit: I offered nothing. you obviously didnt read the small print miss Deer. scraggs you can still spank me though.

smash · 18-08-2006 02:08PM

Deer wrote:

Requirements: Male, Cuckoos' Nestee, Age between 25 - 30, gsoh, largely endowed, pecs, long tongue, must have a fetish for furry handcuffs, must know what the word badanage means, must not already have a cuckoo's nest stalker, must like brunettes and must also pm me a picture of their bum.

In return I will devote myself to stalking all your cuckoos nest postings and wreck your head. But I am cute. That will make up for it!

we're gonna need photo evidence first, do you have a pic in know your nerds?

Deer · 18-08-2006 02:09PM

Yes - but you must look at the first one that is there as you cannot see the beauty of deer in the second one. Happy hunting!

Edited to point out that clown bag only edited his own post offering his services to me if I was desperate in the mistaken belief that Scraggs will believe that the small print was there in the first place!

smash · 18-08-2006 02:12PM

any clue of what page it's on? hehe

Deer · 18-08-2006 02:20PM

steve06 wrote:

any clue of what page it's on? hehe

I've just twigged - I know what your up too.... I'm the one looking for the stalker not you! Go find your own person to stalk!

Dirk Gently · 18-08-2006 02:24PM

steve06 wrote:

any clue of what page it's on? hehe

shes actually quite hawt, a poor man's scraggs, but hawt all the same.

cant remember the page but look at the dates, think she posted in the july group of pics.

see Deer, this is how we stalk! we don't ask permission.

smash · 18-08-2006 02:25PM

dammit, reverse psychology just doesn't work!

Hellm0 · 18-08-2006 02:27PM

understandably so....

^^ will this do? artists rendering...

smash · 18-08-2006 02:32PM

found you....

Deer wrote:

Me looking just slightly psychotic!

http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h257/deer_2006/DSC01684.jpg

looking psychotic, stalking people..... hhmmmmmm

Dirk Gently · 18-08-2006 02:36PM

she does look like someone who you would find staring back at you through the window when you go to pull the curtains at night. :eek:

*I'd invite her in anyway

* scraggs ftw

Hellm0 · 18-08-2006 02:37PM

What lusty eyes, if I may say so myself

Dirk Gently · 18-08-2006 02:39PM

get yore mince pies off her ferengi. I stalked her first.

Hellm0 · 18-08-2006 02:42PM

Beware, this cats got claws scoobie. dont MAKE me use my electro whip on your stoner loving mystery solving canine self

Lust4Life · 18-08-2006 02:44PM

Hellmo, your drawing looks much more like you are trying to catch a man instead of a woman. How about a better pose?:p

P.S. But please do include the dimples again! Love the dimples!

Dirk Gently · 18-08-2006 02:46PM

dont make me unleash worf upon you. like to see you recieve u-mocs after worf batters the ears off you little ferengi.

I'll share Deer with you. You can have her when I'm not online.

Deer · 18-08-2006 02:49PM

God almighty - I do a bit of work for ten minutes and when I return I'm being stalked. Well I'm going back up to the Literature thread where I doubt you will be able to stalk my posts without being thrown out!

Dirk Gently · 18-08-2006 02:53PM

Deer wrote:

God almighty - I do a bit of work for ten minutes and when I return I'm being stalked. Clown bag is the only one I want stalking me. All the rest can just give up now. Well I'm going back up to the Literature thread where I doubt you will be able to stalk my posts without being thrown out!Talk to you later clown bag lots of love.... Miss Deer

:eek: cheek. the stalker gives out about being stalked. :eek:

Deer · 18-08-2006 02:57PM

Clownbag is now off my list. Scragg - you have my sympathy!

HellM0 - all submissions must be via pm so I can take my pic. All the ass's that are rejected will then be put in the show us your assets thread for all others who wish to acquire a stalkee

Wanted: Stalkee

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