One-Liner Jokes

What does a guy with a vasectomy and a Christmas tree have in common?

Decorative balls.

Whilst cooking I accidentally rubbed some herbs in my eyes.

I’m now parsley sighted...

Was on my way to work in the army barracks this morning when I was involved in a nasty accident. Sitting here in A and E for the last 6 hours and still haven’t been seen.

What do you call a homeless Italian man?

Giovanni Change

And the award for the Best Neckwear of the Year goes to...

Well would you look at that, it’s a tie!

If you are ever going to climb the mountains between france and spain, you will need strong legs and a good pyrenees

Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi are in a restaurant eating with chopsticks.

Noticing his friend is struggling, Obi-Wan says, “Use the forks, Luke.”

Had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath.

When all of a sudden, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

What do you call a Spanish flasher?

Señor Willie

I said to the doctor “I've got a problem with my ear.”

He said, “Are you sure?”

I said, “Yes. I'm definite.”