Friendship Ending After a Decade; Would Like Feedback

You're not being generous OP, you're trying to buy him into your life, for your own gain and not his. I don't think you even realise it but that's what you're doing so I'm not trying to be hard on youm

He said you were too aggressive in asking to be paid back so he blocked you. He didn't find a few Bob to chuck your way, he blocked you and wiped you from his life. You say in your opening post you were in a bad place yourself. Do you mean you could have done with the money back? And instead of understanding where you were coming from and making efforts to protect the friendship by repaying the generosity you showed him - he blocked you.

This time you challenged him on his behaviour towards you when he came to stay with you, so he blocked you again.

You're mulling over what happened and even examining your part in it. Why isnt he doing the same? Why isnt he re-examining his behaviour and messaging you with apologies?

Listen... carefuly. This guy mastered manipulation. I'm 100% sure if this after his email. Call yourself blessed by this experience and use it properly in your life. End of story. Dont look for validation or victimise yourself just cop on. Life is life.

Now... Look for psychological help where you could develop assertiveness. That's all.

Best of luck

I'd go so far to say that this "friend" is now gaslighting the op.

He's using all the classic deflection and blaming techniques to absolve himself.

The trip would have ended smoothly? Are you joking?

The guy treated you like a doormat, and took advantage of you. Even if you hadn't had an outburst, you still felt aggrieved, so it wasn't smooth.

The sooner you realise that people like him, who leech off you, are not worthy of your friendship, the better. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

•Great, at least we know now that you understand the money is long gone and probably won't ever be returned - no point keep asking for what you won't get.

•Next - you miss the friend you had, even though he takes advantage of you.

Do you not have a higher standard of friend closer to home? Why do you put so much into this friendship? Even if you have a lot in common & "click" there are still parts to the friendship that are not to your liking.

Does the business idea have anything to do with it? Did you see something in him that you needed for that purpose? Because I still can't understand you considering 50% of a business idea with someone who is not trustworthy, whether that be a friend, family member, neighbour, etc..

•I'm sure you acted tactfully before your "outbursts". His actions pushed you to the point of stooping to a level you are clearly ashamed of. You can't shelter yourself from these things happening in life. You'd need to be living on island alone to completely avoid situations that might cause you to get frustrated or angry at another person.

•lastly, you done yourself no favours here by mentioning how attractive he was. It had no bearings on anything that went on between both of you.. No wonder so many people latched on to the idea of you having feelings/ being in love with him.

...I wonder, maybe you wanted him to model the front page of a new "hot Faroe men's magazine" ?? 😉

Christ on a bike. This reads like a Fair City plot. Just please stop reacting to him. At this stage you're both as bad as each other for carrying this too far.

And I mean that kindly.

In the last 30 mins you received a threatening email and already responded with a really nice email of your own already wishing him success?

Come on, you're an absolute walkover when it comes to this guy your reply told him (and us) that if he wanted he could walk straight back into your life if he wanted. You're still hoping for that even if you won't admit it, clear as day to everybody here.

Stand up for yourself, or stay silent.

Though yes, if it were possible, I would restore the friendship with him. But it's clearly not possible now. He doesn't want that, and so I should accept it.

I'd love to know where your red line is when it comes to dealing with people who treat you badly. We can only hope that you've unwittingly managed to finally get rid of this man from your life. Let's hope he doesn't calm down and remember what a soft touch you are. You would happily let him back into your life, even though anybody with an ounce of self-respect would block him forever and learn from the experience.

Your refusal to entertain the idea of therapy is frustrating. This isn't a one-off, and even though you declared that you would never let such a thing happen again, you're lying to yourself. We know it and so do you. Are you afraid of delving into why you are the way you are with a trained professional rather than hiding behind a screen and posting anonymously on boards?

You really really are not seeing things clearly… STOP and think about things, and your actions… You are justifying every response when sometimes there is no validation or justification. What did you really think you would get from contacting his ex, to cut the back off the guy, when the ex was collecting him from the airport I believe you said?? Within 2 sentences they would be talking about you, yeah friendship_issues said this and that, oh I know all about it, he messaged me about it… Oh, what did he say, etc….

Ok, his behaviour was terrible, but at this stage yours isn't much better. Please, leave them ALONE and look at your own actions and behaviour. I think most people on here originally had sympathy with you, but are now turning the opposite, so that says something.

Contacting his ex, sending him multiple messages afterwards, etc. that's not normal behaviour. Sorry if this is harsh but it seems nobody here can get through to you. PLEASE STOP and focus on what you have, before you lose what you have around you with this obsession…

No offence, OP, but we've heard this before. Several times. Always just before you turn around and contact him again.