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Friendship Ending After a Decade; Would Like Feedback

245

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 45 friendship_issue


    He's a very attractive man… I gave him a load of money …. I'm furious that he's spending time with women instead of with me."

    This is a false characterization.

    I wasn't furious that he was spending time with women, I openly encouraged him to meet women. I wasn't upset that he met that girl at the weekend, I was specifically upset that he decided to arrive back at 5am rather than the evening before. 99% of people would spend time with the person that hosted and financed a trip - as a gesture of gratitude, at the very least.

    Put another way, I would have been equally as angry had he arrived back at 5am after going out with a bunch of lads having beers till early morning.

    Romance has nothing to do with it, however much it's being crowbarred into the narrative. The fact that I believe he looks good is an incidental finding.

    Second to that, I did email him this afternoon in the hope that things can get back on track. If things do, it'll be on a basis of no more money etc. I know he was wrong to arrive at 5am, but I now believe I was too insulting (I said some very hurtful things, which even led him to warn me that he could beat me up, so 'be angry, but don't cross the line'). Had I had a more controlled response, we would have parted on good terms and things wouldn't have entered the s*** that otherwise ensued. In other words, I agree with the poster shortly above that I bear some responsibility too (though so does he, of course).



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,088 ✭✭✭Buddy Bubs


    Youll come across as very naive and desperate by emailing him again. You'll get taken advantage of.

    Are you in love with this man? Or infatuated in some way? You'll have to stop that, he is straight and whatever you want to happen, even subconsciously, will not happen.

    I can't think of any reason you'd behave the way you did and still are apart from being in love with him. You need friends or a relationship in Ireland to forget about him.

    It's clear as day to anybody reading this what's going on with you, I think that's where you need to look before looking at his actions.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 45 friendship_issue


    Just to put this in context, my partner and I met him in June for 2-3 days - and just a few hours each day.

    Other than that, we exchanged just 1 message between then and November when the split happened.

    If I were "in love", the above structure wouldn't exist. This isn't infatuation, no matter how many times it's portrayed as such.

    Am I needy in friendships moreso than the average person? Yes, I most likely am - and it's not a good trait.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,088 ✭✭✭Buddy Bubs


    Are you still with this partner?

    I really don't get why you're pursuing this Faroe Island guys friendship at all



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 45 friendship_issue


    Yes, I am.

    I'm pursuing it because I think there is value to it. Ultimately he never asked for the dental money or me funding the trip, I did that out of my own volition. The problem is that I shouldn't feel the need to help out in the way that I have, as it has only led me to stress.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 609 ✭✭✭HazeDoll


    Sorry OP, if you emailed him again looking to maintain contact you are 100% responsible the next time he treats you badly.

    You're going to keep putting your fingers into that electric socket and crying when you get a shock. Your friends or partner will not have much sympathy if you keep setting yourself up like this. You say you don't have any deeper feelings for him and that just makes today's email even less logical. At least a bit of good oldfashioned lust goes some of the way to explaining your need to keep him in your life. Take that out of the equation and you're just starting to look like a tragic figure who would rather be abused than ignored.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,432 ✭✭✭ziggyman17


    You lent money to a stranger that you never met, that there tells me all I need to know,



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,088 ✭✭✭Buddy Bubs


    I honestly think talking to a counsellor or therapist would help you out. It's not healthy to crave his attention the way you are.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,377 ✭✭✭Pauliedragon


    You e mailed him today? What do expect to be the outcome of this? You need to move on this guy has treated you appallingly and you reach out again. Sorry OP but you need to let this guy go and put him behind you. I actually think it might be worth considering professional help. You seem a little obsessed with being in contact with someone who has taken complete advantage of you.



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 45 friendship_issue


    My thinking is one of two things - either nothing, in which case I lost nothing by trying, or something - and if so, with the caveats of no more money to be paid to him and agreeing a plan for him to pay me back what's owed.

    If he agrees, then I don't see what could be wrong with that.

    It's probably very, very unlikely but as I say, after admitting my wrongdoing in the email, it may be enough to persuade him that it's possible for things to be mended over time.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,330 ✭✭✭Sigma101


    You asked for feedback. The feedback was unanimous that you shouldn't contact him again. After receiving that advice from literally EVERYONE here, you call up his fiancée and mother of his child. Then, after he told you in no uncertain terms that he doesn't want you contacting him, you're now sending him emails. I'd say sympathy for you here is rapidly eroding at this stage.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,330 ✭✭✭Sigma101


    To add: You're now using the money you spent on him as justification for contacting him. You already agreed that he didn't have to pay you back. You know it's not about the money - demanding repayment at this stage borders on harassment.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,890 ✭✭✭blackbox


    Your partner seems to be quite sensible in not having your home turned into a shagging pad.

    The stranger who visited is an exploiting sociopath. Have nothing more to do with him. He is only going to harm you, your partner and your relationship with your partner.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,088 ✭✭✭Buddy Bubs


    "He's definitely very charming and engaging, as you say. Very intelligent and persuasive. I do find it appealing, to be honest. It probably didn't help that I find him physically attractive too, and would regularly compliment him (and he was very comfortable with that)"

    What are the 5 love languages ?

    Physical touch, acts of service, gifts, quality time, words of affirmation. You have given him 4 of them in your posts so far except for physical touch because he isn't gay, but you have described how you find him physically attractive so physicality would be on the cards for you too if you got the chance. That's all 5 ways to show love, you showed the 4 you were able to and longing for the 5th no doubt in my mind.

    Look at your quote above.....you are in love with this man. You'll have to admit that to yourself, even if you won't admit it on this forum. There's no other explanation for you pining after him and trying everything you can to have him in your life. Best result here is if he doesn't respond, because you'll drop everything and everyone if he does and lavish gifts and attention on him again if he so wishes.

    I have seen women have this effect on men before, I'm not close with any gay men but it's the exact same way they went on. I even did it myself when younger before I copped on.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,377 ✭✭✭Pauliedragon


    Fair enough that's your decision most if not all here will disagree. Can I ask if he replies to your e mail and agrees to make amends and ye should meet up in Ireland and then he asks would you be prepared to fund his travel to Ireland so he can make amends in person would you consider that? It's a question I think you have to ask yourself because from what you post here I wouldn't be surprised if you fell for that. Look after yourself OP your an adult an make your own decisions but I would never contact him again and move on with my life as if he never existed.



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 897 ✭✭✭mykrodot


    "when the split happened"? This is not terminology I would use with opposite sex friends. It is something I would only say about a romantic relationship.

    From the first post I thought you were female because even in that post I sensed something more than friendship, it didn't seem like you were talking about a platonic friendship. It was a very dependent emotionally connected "friendship" considering this guy lived in the Faroe Islands and you both had partners. If you are gay it also explains the fact you have developed an attraction and an emotional connection. But he hasn't.

    The fact you cannot let this guy go despite the fact he has used you many times has all the characteristics of a broken love affair and one party being more hurt at the breakup than the other. You spent a good deal of time together when he was here, you said yourself you spent Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday evenings together doing things, is that correct? As independent grown adults, he was perfectly free to shag every women in Dublin if he wished at the weekend. Why would that bother you? Yes he should have made plans to spend the last evening with you but you were far more emotionally invested in this guy than he was in you. He was in Dublin to pursue women. End of.

    He is a grown adult and YOU OFFERED him the accommodation and YOU PAID FOR THE FLIGHTS! Then you expected all of his time and attention in return. When you didn't get it you got angry and threw a strop. Now you are regretting this because you miss his friendship already.

    I am female and have lots of male friends, a few in the UK who visit Ireland regularly and we catch up. Never in a month of Sundays would I pay for their flights. Why? They are in my circle of friends but they are not family and friends from childhood. You sound very desperate for friendship but one thing you cannot do is buy friends.

    I can't understand why yet again you have contacted him and asked him to be friends. Its quite pathetic. Every single ball is in his court and if he plays them to his advantage again you have nobody to blame but yourself.



  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 7,944 Mod ✭✭✭✭HildaOgdenx


    Mod - Some posts deleted.
    Please bear in mind that as per the charter:

    Replies are expected to be mature, civil and well phrased.
    Remember you are speaking to a real person who has posted a problem that is impacting them

    If you have an issue with a post, please report it and the mods will take a look.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,334 ✭✭✭✭looksee


    I would think the discussion is over. You asked for advice OP, you were given a considerable amount, all, in the initial stages anyway, sympathetic but saying that the friendship should be over. You have now chosen to go against all advice and do your own thing.

    There is no point going any further with the thread, do your own thing, I honestly hope it works out for you, but I would not be holding my breath.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 63 ✭✭Silvertap


    Op, please block this man and forget about him. He's used you time and again. There is a saying

    Fool me once, Shame on you

    Fool me twice, Shame on me.

    I'm sorry if I seem harsh, I genuinely do not intend to be. But if you pursue this friendship you will be hurt again. You may see value in the friendship but the only value he sees is a cash value. Protect yourself and your heart (platonically) and Take this one as a lesson



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,045 ✭✭✭1123heavy


    Why did you invest so much in trying to force this "friendship"? Is there a history of self esteem issues, or a need to feel accepted? I'd rather be alone than have such a so called "friend". A lot of what you did for him was purely daft, but I don't wish to sound too judgemental.

    Only you will know the answer to the above. For now, you are extremely lucky that he showed you his true colours. Move on, but don't ever forget this harsh lesson.

    The more you do for people, the less they tend to value you - that is an unfortunate fact of life. A lot of people only respect bad treatment.



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,006 ✭✭✭SineadSpears


    OP he doesn't really owe you any money.

    You said he didn't ask for the €1,000 dental treatment but that you offered it to help him out. You assumed it would be paid back but when it wasn't, it caused a rift in the friendship. We've all been there - but most people learn their lesson from it and either end the friendship or continue it, but never "help" that person again.

    When you started the friendship again you should have written off the money as gone and never to be seen, or spoken, of again.

    You mentioned that you would meet him in Denmark (or somewhere) to be there for him while he was going through a breakup but when he suggested wanting to come to Dublin instead, I can't understand why you would feel that you needed to pay for him to come. But you offered - again.

    You also offered to host him in your home, I've no issue with that, but no matter how much you spent, it was your choice to do that as he was your guest.

    As much as you don't like the events that have occured, you have brought a lot of it on yourself. Offering so much but then resenting him for taking it all with open arms.

    At this point, asking him for either of those costs back is not a good look for you.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,047 ✭✭✭JoChervil


    If you think you lose nothing by contacting him, so dignity doesn't exist in your world….

    You think you paid it all voluntarily. The problem is that such manipulators make people pay in such way. The victims don't even notice, what heart strings were played at and how they were manipulated into doing it. And because you don't see it, you will be a victim again. Really sad story.

    It might be that you are a very intelligent person, so you think you are smart enough to protect yourself. For you it is unthinkable that you could prey victim to such a simple scam as the initial one for dental work, so you will keep it going to prove yourself that it was not a scam.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 35,975 ✭✭✭✭o1s1n
    Master of the Universe


    Sometimes I wonder how there are people out there who fall for cults, confidence tricksters and all the rest. They seem so obvious.

    Now I know. Some people are just doormats.

    Best of luck to you OP. Do have a read back over this thread when he uses you as a resource again and cuts off contact after he grows tired of you, as he will. He'll probably wait till he gets another holiday out of you first.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 45 friendship_issue


    You think you paid it all voluntarily. The problem is that such manipulators make people pay in such way. The victims don't even notice, what heart strings were played at and how they were manipulated into doing it. And because you don't see it, you will be a victim again. Really sad story.

    Then why after paying him for the dental work, did he pay me €300 of it when I first arrived in the Faroe Islands? The balance is around €700.

    Why did he even allow me to even visit the country, if it was a scam; that all he wanted was the dental money? He could have blocked me there and then, goal achieved.

    Why did I visit the country twice more 8-years later (i.e. in the past 18-months) - if it was all just a scam? Where he drove me and my partner around the country, showing some sights. Allowing me to go to his home, where I met his fiancé and son, and they were cooking meals for us.

    I don't see the evil character being portrayed here. I do see errors of judgement when he came to Ireland - yes, absolutely, but not the kind of sinister evil character that is being cast out on this thread.

    The above wouldn't make any sense if that were the case.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 35,975 ✭✭✭✭o1s1n
    Master of the Universe


    You explain this man's actions like a battered wife who's trying to explain to everyone how "you don't know him like I do!'

    Have a bit of dignity man.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,006 ✭✭✭SineadSpears


    I do agree that some posters have been a bit harsh towards the guy. Just because you Initially became friends online and he lives in another country, doesn't mean the friendship wasn't a genuine one.

    Or that he was a scammer (He wouldn't be a great one either if it took him 10years to get a whole €1,000 and a weeks holiday out of someone)

    There are plenty of people even here on Boards, that have met online and have become friends and even met up IRL.

    We are all adults & have busy lives and we don't hang out with our friends every single day. So the fact that you only seen him in person every few years, again, doesn't mean you were not friends. I have friends that I only catch up with every few years too.

    I will say though, those friends are not the ones I would loan money to. I would only help out (some) family members or really close friends that I know I can trust.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 35,975 ✭✭✭✭o1s1n
    Master of the Universe


    The guy literally cut all contact off with the OP when he asked him for his money back. Blocked him on everything.

    Despite that, the OP kept trying to stay in touch.

    He then used the OP for an all expenses paid holiday to Ireland to ride women.

    Despite that, the OP kept trying to stay in touch.

    Now he's told the OP he's not even giving him the dignity of reading his email and is cutting off contact. He wants nothing to do with the OP anymore.

    And yet the OP is still trying to get this guy to be his 'friend'.

    These are the facts the OP has told us in his own words.

    There's nothing harsh about any of the replies here, the OP is being used and abused yet somehow seems to be addicted to this man. It's verging or masochism.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 45 friendship_issue


    Just to add some context to those points:

    • When he cut me off after asking for the money back, we did restore things 3-4 years later. He could have just stayed blocking me. After that time, he never asked for money or any favours.
    • For him not reading my email, it seems that he probably did but wants the position of having to say that it's he who cut the friendship off, not me.

    Again, had I not been extremely verbally abusive on that 5am rant, things would be normal today. I was very angry earlier in the week. The more the days pass, the more I realize that I was wrong on that day.

    I could have raised the matter tactfully instead of destroying him personally with words and extremely aggressive comments.

    I screwed up here more than I thought I did.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 459 ✭✭NiceFella


    OP,

    Wake up. This guy is a scumbag.

    You've got about 50 odd responses here screaming at you that this guy is bad news!! You are causing your own suffering here by continuing to be a victim in this guys game.

    I've met people like this, the superficial charm, full attention on you when you talk, the sycophantic laughter to reel you in. Then bang, use you by whatever means possible to gain advantage with a their problems.

    You can't say you haven't been warned. You either have respect for yourself or you don't. Your choice

    Post edited by NiceFella on


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,377 ✭✭✭Pauliedragon


    OP look at it this way. You came here for some feedback which is what this forum is for and it's very helpful. We're 80 posts in and everyone has basically given you the same advice. This guy needs to be removed from your life. He's bad news and you really need to move on for your own mental health. Try to start fresh maybe make some new friends and move on with life.



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 35,975 ✭✭✭✭o1s1n
    Master of the Universe


    You have every right to be angry through all of this.

    The one time you actually do get angry, you're now apologising for it making it all out to be your fault.

    Seriously man, wake up. You've done nothing wrong through any of this other than being an open and kind person and he's taking you for a ride.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 45 friendship_issue


    I was right to be angry - yes, I agree, but I went too far with the abusive comments.

    Some of the comments I would even be ashamed of listing here - i.e mocking and questioning his clinical depression; saying that perhaps it would be better off if he weren't here because he's a shameless scammer; that I "spend €1,300 on a piece of cancer". That's just a small part of what I said, and I really regret what I said to him. No matter what wrong he committed, he didn't deserve that. Even my partner said the same thing, and he was waiting at the kitchen table listening to it all unfold (staying neutral).

    He said at the time that I would "regret these comments", and he turned out to be right - though for the first few days, I was angry and had no regrets.

    I went way, way, way too far. I cut him off at 10.15pm as a friend when he said he wouldn't make the train and would be back at 5am. I was drinking at the time and messaged him saying, "Okay friendship over. My partner will let you in and you should take your stuff ASAP and get the hell out of my apartment and my life".

    I was way out of line. Whilst I agree with many of the comments on here, as well as the general advice, I cannot dismiss how reckless I was in my behaviour too.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,006 ✭✭✭SineadSpears


    The OP has also said that he himself had been the one to offer the dental money and the all expense paid trip. The friend had never asked for money any other time.

    I do think the OP is very naive with his generosity and the friend took advantage of this. My point was that I don't necessarily think the friendship was fake.

    Maybe I'm wrong though



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,875 ✭✭✭mountain


    OP, you need to have a lot more value on yourself, and your own worth.
    you are making excuses for you being angry with him.
    If the situation had happened to your partner, would like them to behave in the way you are?



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,047 ✭✭✭JoChervil


    It doesn't matter, who said what. He is an adult and a free man. You wanted to buy his attention but through his choices, he showed you your place in his hierarchy of values, which you didn't like, what's more it hurt you deeply. Why do you crawl back for more, if you know, you will never be high on his priority list? And you call it normal, which you crave to get back to?

    Some people just bring the worst in each other and should be avoided.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,845 ✭✭✭✭cj maxx


    Yes that’s how manipulators work . Write it off as a lesson learned . And if I may add something from reading the thread focus on yourself and give yourself a break . We have all been taken for a ride at some point in our lives . It’s on him not you .



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,589 ✭✭✭Tork


    OP do you have many real-life friends? If you don't, it would help explain the want that's in you. If you had more good people active in your life, you wouldn't be fixating on this fella. I can't help but think that your view of him is part fact and part fiction. How can you get to know somebody properly when they live far away? Even though you have met him in person, most of your communication with him was online. Have you fallen for a fictional version of him? That's surely what you're missing, not what this man actually is.

    You've admitted that you were taken for a ride by a so-called friend in the past. I could see the same thing happening again in the future even if you rid yourself of this particular man. I agree with the people who have suggested you seek professional help for your self-esteem and judgement issues. I also wonder is there something missing from your own relationship if you're so invested in the private life of this man? How does your partner feel about all of this?

    When it comes to friendships, here are two rules of thumb that might be helpful to you. The first is that you shouldn't even try to buy somebody's friendship. If somebody likes you, the connection will develop naturally and it won't be difficult at all. Grand gestures and trying to keep somebody in your life with money or other favours simply slows down the inevitable. Why should you waste your time and heart on a person who doesn't care about you?

    The second rule of thumb is what I call the "I wouldn't do that to them" rule. Have you ever stolen from other people? Lied to them? Used them dishonestly so you can benefit from their kindness? If the answer to that is No, ask yourself why is it OK for other people to do that to you.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 45 friendship_issue


    Your post is completely logical and reasonable, and the advice issued completely sensible. And I accept it.

    Unfortunately when it comes to issues like this, often long-term causes - often emerging many years, if not decades in the past - inform the decisions of the affected person today. So for example, I can see what's unreasonable in other people in other cases, but not quite so in cases of my own. I guess that's what makes psychology interesting!

    I emailed him again this evening (having received no reply from my other email). I know this will annoy many people on this forum but I felt it was the right thing to do. Because I can see where you're coming from in terms of advice; in many cases, fully agreeing with it. But sometimes when you know someone outside of that advice, or at least feel as if you do, you react in ways counter to how other people issuing advice would give.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 35,975 ✭✭✭✭o1s1n
    Master of the Universe


    He didn't read your email, he cut off all contact with you. Told you that was it.

    You emailed him again. He didn't respond.

    So… you emailed him again?

    And what will you do if he doesn't respond? Email him for a fourth time?

    How many times do you plan to email him without response before realising you need to stop?

    Perhaps you need to respect the boundary he seems to have set?



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 609 ✭✭✭HazeDoll


    I'm starting to suspect that the OP is now getting some sort of satisfaction from keeping this thread active. Keeping the whole sorry tale forefront in his mind, maybe? An excuse to keep mulling over interactions with the mystery man from the Faroe Islands?

    Reporting that he has emailed him twice this weekend is an attempt to keep the thread alive as the OP knows this will get responses.

    Let it go.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 45 friendship_issue


    No, I'm just really hurt. Really, really hurt.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,776 ✭✭✭gameoverdude


    I've met people like this when I was in my early 20's. They flit around people and then drop them when their number was up…but to come back as a changed person! Rinse and repeat. I was naive. Not any more.

    You've been taken for a ride here. You'll fall for it again and lose your partner. Honestly, a lot of it is your own fault. Feck closures. No contact.

    It sounds to me you fancy this fella and you'll get burned again.

    They'll get back in contact when they need something and you'll jump.

    On your head be it.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,047 ✭✭✭JoChervil


    The whole story feels more and more fake for me….

    ------------------------------------

    Warned: Breach of Charter

    Post edited by Big Bag of Chips on


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 241 ✭✭Baseball72


    to repeat what other posters have already said:

    You need to cut all communication with this person.

    You need some sessions with a counsellor to discuss this “friendship issue”.

    You have no boundaries at all, no respect for yourself, or your partner. This is about you, not him, or the money you gave him.

    seek out help - posting here is not the solution- especially as you are not listening.



  • Administrators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,213 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    You don't have to answer here but think about this. If your partner had a "friend" like this guy, if he did for him everything you've done, if he was still chasing him even after everything that happened, if he felt about him like you feel about this guy, honestly - be honest with yourself, how would that make you feel?

    You need to concentrate on your relationship with your partner, not on this guy. We could all tell, without ever meeting you, without knowing a thing about you, just from a few lines of text that you had unreciprocated feelings for this fella. Your partner knows you intimately. He will know there's more to this than just a friend. He will sense your feelings, and he is probably quite hurt. If you see any sort of future for yourself with your partner please please drop it now.

    There's nowhere so lonely as a relationship where you're second best.



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  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 7,309 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hannibal_Smith


    It's OK to be hurt. People will hurt you. But it's how you manage it is the key. Other people cannot manage it for you. There are friendships that you stick with because it started out great and all you want is that greatness back. But it started out great, similar to any other relationship because everyone's on their best behaviour. Some times it happens where the longer the friendship lasts the more people show their true colours and thats the truth of it, not the beginning period when it was fab and great craic. They're the friendships we all know in our guts we should walk away sooner and we end up kicking ourselves that we didn't. They don't bring out the best in us, in fact they probably bring out the worst. You are never going to be able to manage the hurt by emailing him, or by any response he could possibly give you. This is one of those instances where you have to manage it yourself and get passed it yourself. And you will. But don't contact him again. Do what people advised from the beginning, delete his contact details and move on in your own way. Don't let your ability to move on be dictated by him or his reactions



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 897 ✭✭✭mykrodot


    so basically we are all wasting our time here giving you advice. And you are getting something out of reading all the replies and doing the opposite. I'm out. Good luck.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 897 ✭✭✭mykrodot


    well get help for it, this is life! We all get hurt all the time, always by other people. You are not unique but you seem to like it and want more of it.

    Posters have tried here and you keep sticking your hand back in the fire. I've no sympathy at this stage, in fact I'm beginning to feel sorry for the guy from the Faroe Islands.



  • Administrators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,213 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    @mykrodot dial it back a bit there please. You are posting in Personal Issues. Posters come here when they are feeling low and need some advice and some support. Real life isn't a soap opera where issues get resolved overnight.

    All posters are asked to read the forum charter and bear it in mind when posting in this forum.

    Thanks



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 597 ✭✭✭Bogey Lowenstein
    That must be Nigel with the brie...


    It is very convenient for the Faroe man that he is cutting all ties with you when he still owes you over two grand. He is a user, pure and simple. People like him do not have any real friends, they have meal tickets. It is not a nice feeling being taken for a ride by somebody you considered to be a friend, I have been there myself. Take it as a life lesson OP and try to move past it.



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