So many middle aged Irishmen have let themselves go

Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and I certainly don't regret having them (most of the time 🤣). Your life changes though, and depending on what you're willing to give/ sacrifice, will determine how much it will change. It also depends on the family setup. For example, a friend of mine lives close to his parents and he can drop his kids there anytime. His life is a lot closer to what it used to be. If both parents are not working full time, it changes the dynamic too.

I also have mates with kids who are not into activities and happy to sit in front of the Xbox / PS4 / TV. They don't have to spend every evening running around with their kids to sports or music. My brother has 3 kids but he separated from the missus, so he still has every weeknight to do as he pleases.

I was just highlighting that children can have a significant impact on the time available for both men and women. When people have kids they tend to put their needs and wants first... it goes hand in hand with being a parent.

I make do with the time I have but I really have to push myself to get out training sometimes as I am absolutely exhausted. My kids are starting to take an interest in training with me and we go out and box a few times a week in the garage. I also drag them along for long mountain walks with the promise of a hot chocolate and bun after. I hope to start taking them to BJJ training with me when they're a little older, or doing the local mountain bike trails.

They are expensive little buggers though... but well worth it.

It seems there's two different discussions stemming from the thread title.

For me letting myself go means letting your health deteriorate by either under or overconsumption, by over exercise or none.

I've taken the ferry to Harwich in Essex twice, once from Esbjerg (Denmark) and once from Rotterdam. Both times I went into the supermarket at the port as soon as I arrived, and it was quite shocking to see the state of people after coming from Denmark or the Netherlands. Bad skin, bad hair, bad teeth, significant excess weight, mobility issues. I guess that's what a long-term diet of junk food does.

Can you imagine the impact and consequences if someone had posted a thread titled…, ‘middle aged Irish women letting themselves go’….

misogyny or misandry, two sides of the sane coin surely 👀

We have it here too, no doubt but England is certainly further down the road.

About twenty years ago the last time I took a package holiday to Lanzarote you could not ignore the difference in physical appearance between the queues for north European flights and our flight back to Dublin. Nearly everyone in the north European queue was svelte, with lots of what appeared to be multi general families.

Now that flight to Dublin is not representative of all Ireland as I remember most of the adults were roaring drunk at the hotel bar everynight when we came back from sightseeing each day, but it was depressing to see two such contrasting queues and I was on the one full of people complaining about needing a smoke.

It might be the perception of the holiday destination rather than an accurate representation of the whole country. I mean it has a reputation as spot with rough round the edges tourists.

It’s the same when people say there are no attractions people from x, well where are they looking?

This discussion reminds me of two of my ex-girlfriends. Or at least, the contrast between them.

The first was at best 5ft 1in on a good day. Looked after herself but found it incredibly hard sometimes. Through genetics she had got the looks of her mother but the muscle mass of her father and she was properly strong. Like, could easily lift me off the ground strong even though I was nearly a foot taller and not far off twice her weight. So even though she was a tiny little thing in general, she had big legs and big upper arms for her size. She was not a delicate little flower, she just looked like one.

Anyway, all this natural strength meant that when it came down to exercise, if she started say jogging or cycling, within a month or so her legs would start bulging with muscle which she absolutely hated. Understandably, she wanted her legs to get thinner, not bigger but she just wasn't built that way. So in her mind the only way she could really lose weight was by diet alone. Coupled with the fact she dealt with a hormonal problem from since she was a teenager she really did yoyo in weight quite a bit. I mean, she was never fat and she always looked great but she did gain weight easily and it was extremely difficult for her to keep her size down to where she wanted it. So, the result of all this was that she never gave anyone any grief when it came to their weight as she herself understood how difficult it could be.

Contrast this with the next girl I was seeing. She was easily 5ft 7+ and was properly svelte. She jogged and exercised a bit and did some strength training but it wasn't a huge amount. In spite of that though she didn't really have much in the way of muscle mass so despite being over 6 inches taller than the previous girl, she was probably lighter. She was certainly easier for me to carry anyway.

Anyway, this girl had a real dislike for overweight people. She said it was a sign of mental weakness. I really had to bite my tongue when she was saying this stuff as she was always thin. I saw pictures of her in her early 20's and she didn't even really have hips at that stage though she eventually got them by time I met her when she was 30. It never really sunk in with her that she was genetically predisposed to having an easier time of staying thin than a lot of other people. She wasn't a foodie, she had a very simple diet, mostly lentils. A food blow-out for her was a few slices of Kilmeadan cheddar! She loved jogging and just liked fitness in general. She was doing things she enjoyed that also happened to keep her thin and I think because of that, she never had much empathy for the people who really struggled. She also had a job where she left the house at 8.15 and was back by 3.45 so she had plenty of time to do activities.

My point is, a lot of the most judgmental people think everyone should be like them because often, it's easier for them so they see no reason why others struggle so much. It's like people who love their job and can't understand why other's don't too. I mean ask yourself, who's working harder; the person who skips to work looking forward to the day or the person who peels themselves out of bed and bursts into tears in the shower at the thought of what's to come?

I would agree. I have been in Germany a lot recently and I have noticed a lot of the women there look quite different to the women of the same age here in Ireland. I would say their figure looks healthier than the Irish. But their look of skin and age seems a lot worse. I passingly wondered why this might be but did not really care enough to think too deeply on it. Germany gets more sun and they appear to have a much higher level of salt in their diets there. Other than that I have no theories whatsoever though.