Off Topic Thread 5.0

Ernie McCracken · 30-11-2022 09:04PM

Just got hospitalised due to a peekaboo accident.

They put me in the ICU.

Ernie McCracken · 30-11-2022 09:10PM

I taught a wolf how to meditate.

Now he aware wolf.

Ernie McCracken · 30-11-2022 09:12PM

What’s the difference between black eyed peas and chick peas.

Black eyed peas can sing us a song, chick peas can only hummus one.

Ernie McCracken · 30-11-2022 09:13PM

My wife asked me: “ Is it just me or is the cat getting fat?”

Apparently “No it’s just you” wasn’t the right answer.

Ernie McCracken · 30-11-2022 09:15PM

I asked my wife when her birthday was. She said “March 1st”.

So I walked around the room and asked again.

Luminous Talent · 30-11-2022 11:53PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119934063#Comment_119934063

Profit over people time and time with these low calibre Tory spivs and their Cronies.

What is it you hate about progress and human advancement. Literally the whole of mankind’s progress has been achieved off the basis of profit. Do you advocate going back to the barter system where we value goods on the basis of the labour put into them? Villages living in isolation? Some goods have an inherent value higher than the labour put into them. What is subsistence living. We wouldn’t have spaceships, planes, cars, medical advancement like mRNA, penicillin, and a plethora of drugs which prolong life without profit. Would people create and distribute them without the money which keeps things moving. To say people would do this out of goodwill is a misnomer and wrong. The work required for mass distribution would never happen off people’s goodwill. People would get fed up if they didn’t have to work to survive. And talent wouldn’t be rewarded without disproportionately rewarding ingenuity and invention. Indeed it would be penalised and stifled. The development of machines and production lines is because of profit. And what do you want to do wish it all away and hope people will work as hard as is required to keep people alive without adequate pay and incentive to create, work and strive for something better than even survive? The world in which we live would be a backward cave and we would be licking salt off a rock if we didn’t have capitalism and profit, that is, progress. Do you discount the whole of man’s existence in place of crawling under a rock and living in a cave?

molloyjh · 01-12-2022 12:20AM

Three cheers for the barter system!

OldRio · 01-12-2022 12:53AM

Dear grief. Some pure drivel in that rant.

I'd like to engage but unfortunately I'm working because I don't want to be fed up.

Dave_The_Sheep · 01-12-2022 12:59AM

Oh, I'm looking forward to this one.

pickarooney · 01-12-2022 07:26AM

Would the rock we're licking salt off be black?

Ernie McCracken · 01-12-2022 09:08AM

The Egyptians claim there are no crocodiles in their country.

I think they’re in de Nile.

jacothelad · 01-12-2022 10:17PM

Donald Trump was being given his daily briefing and he is told that yesterday 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed.

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally he looks up with a devastated expression on his face and he asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

jacothelad · 01-12-2022 10:18PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119942355#Comment_119942355

Comprehension doesn't appear to be your strong point.

02-12-2022 01:40AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119946487#Comment_119946487

Reminds me of when of my favourite Trump moments. The first 15 seconds or so of this https://www.c-span.org/video/?c4865723/user-clip-domestic-mexican-violence

The disappointed "oh" he makes when he finds out its not Mexican related, thus not feeding in his "other" narrative.

stephen_n · 02-12-2022 02:48PM

Myself and a few friends formed a band. We decided we would call it 999 megabytes.

We still don’t have a gig though.

Ernie McCracken · 02-12-2022 06:15PM

I asked my wife how to turn Alexa off.

She said: “How about walking through the room naked?”

Podge_irl · 02-12-2022 06:24PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119948731#Comment_119948731

Go for 1023 megabytes for extra credit

swiwi_ · 02-12-2022 07:28PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119949881#Comment_119949881

Nerd alert.

04-12-2022 06:52PM

Have you seen this AI text bot? https://chat.openai.com/chat#

It's absolutely incredible. I fed it this prompt: Write a song with chords that leinster rugby supporters can sing at rugby matches to cheer their team on.

This is the result

Verse 1:

G D

Leinster Rugby, we are here

C G

Cheering loud, our hearts are clear

G D

Blue and white, we stand as one

C G

Fighting till the final whistle is done

Chorus:

Am C

Leinster, Leinster, we are the best

G D

Rising up to take the test

Am C

Leinster, Leinster, hear us sing

G D

Victory for the Blue and the King!

Verse 2:

G D

With skill and grace, our players fight

C G

Leaving all their fears behind

G D

We stand together, hand in hand

C G

Strong and brave, we take a stand

Chorus:

Am C

Leinster, Leinster, we are the best

G D

Rising up to take the test

Am C

Leinster, Leinster, hear us sing

G D

Victory for the Blue and the King!

Bridge:

C G

We'll never back down, we'll never give in

Am D

Leinster Rugby, our pride will never end

Chorus:

Am C

Leinster, Leinster, we are the best

G D

Rising up to take the test

Am C

Leinster, Leinster, hear us sing

G D

Victory for the Blue and the King!

04-12-2022 07:34PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119956338#Comment_119956338

Not that incredible. Obviously couldn't find anything to rhyme with 'Munster suck'.

04-12-2022 08:09PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119956468#Comment_119956468

I composed another song in the last minute

Verse 1:

Come on Leinster, let's take the field

We'll show Munster what it means to yield

We'll run and tackle, catch and pass

And leave them in the dust, no need to ask

Chorus:

Munster suck, Munster suck

We'll dominate, we won't be outdone

Munster suck, Munster suck

Leinster's the team, the best under the sun

Verse 2:

We'll show our skill, our strength, our speed

We'll leave Munster in defeat

Their fans may cheer, but it's all in vain

Leinster's the team that will reign

Chorus:

Munster suck, Munster suck

We'll dominate, we won't be outdone

Munster suck, Munster suck

Leinster's the team, the best under the sun

Bridge:

We'll fight with all our heart and soul

We'll leave it all on the pitch, that's our goal

Leinster's the team that will win this game

And Munster will be left to feel the shame

Chorus:

Munster suck, Munster suck

We'll dominate, we won't be outdone

Munster suck, Munster suck

Leinster's the team, the best under the sun

sydthebeat · 05-12-2022 08:54PM

That Brazilian team could just about restore my faith in football..... Just about.

swiwi_ · 06-12-2022 06:51PM

With Bono as keeper Morocco had the edge.

swiwi_ · 08-12-2022 05:50PM

Detectorists Christmas Special :)

pickarooney · 09-12-2022 08:01AM

Thanks for the reminder!

swiwi_ · 11-12-2022 09:18PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119880387#Comment_119880387

Thanks for the tip. Thought this was great after I absolutely hated boba Fett.

12-12-2022 12:34PM

The price of petrol is coming down at a fair rate which is a nice bit of relief. Filled up the car for 1.49p/l yesterday.

mfceiling · 14-12-2022 10:50AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119971819#Comment_119971819

You've no idea how much I'm looking forward to this.

swiwi_ · 23-12-2022 06:33PM

Fun ways to pass time

#1) Fill out ESTA form for whole family in order to transit through an American airport.

stephen_n · 23-12-2022 07:16PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120029552#Comment_120029552

Think I would prefer not to go, than transit through the US. One country on the planet I really hope to never set foot in.

Off Topic Thread 5.0

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