Just got hospitalised due to a peekaboo accident.
They put me in the ICU.
I taught a wolf how to meditate.
Now he aware wolf.
What’s the difference between black eyed peas and chick peas.
Black eyed peas can sing us a song, chick peas can only hummus one.
My wife asked me: “ Is it just me or is the cat getting fat?”
Apparently “No it’s just you” wasn’t the right answer.
I asked my wife when her birthday was. She said “March 1st”.
So I walked around the room and asked again.
Profit over people time and time with these low calibre Tory spivs and their Cronies.
What is it you hate about progress and human advancement. Literally the whole of mankind’s progress has been achieved off the basis of profit. Do you advocate going back to the barter system where we value goods on the basis of the labour put into them? Villages living in isolation? Some goods have an inherent value higher than the labour put into them. What is subsistence living. We wouldn’t have spaceships, planes, cars, medical advancement like mRNA, penicillin, and a plethora of drugs which prolong life without profit. Would people create and distribute them without the money which keeps things moving. To say people would do this out of goodwill is a misnomer and wrong. The work required for mass distribution would never happen off people’s goodwill. People would get fed up if they didn’t have to work to survive. And talent wouldn’t be rewarded without disproportionately rewarding ingenuity and invention. Indeed it would be penalised and stifled. The development of machines and production lines is because of profit. And what do you want to do wish it all away and hope people will work as hard as is required to keep people alive without adequate pay and incentive to create, work and strive for something better than even survive? The world in which we live would be a backward cave and we would be licking salt off a rock if we didn’t have capitalism and profit, that is, progress. Do you discount the whole of man’s existence in place of crawling under a rock and living in a cave?
Three cheers for the barter system!
Dear grief. Some pure drivel in that rant.
I'd like to engage but unfortunately I'm working because I don't want to be fed up.
Oh, I'm looking forward to this one.
Would the rock we're licking salt off be black?
The Egyptians claim there are no crocodiles in their country.
I think they’re in de Nile.
Donald Trump was being given his daily briefing and he is told that yesterday 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed.
"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.
Finally he looks up with a devastated expression on his face and he asks, "How many is a brazillion?"
Comprehension doesn't appear to be your strong point.
Reminds me of when of my favourite Trump moments. The first 15 seconds or so of this https://www.c-span.org/video/?c4865723/user-clip-domestic-mexican-violence
The disappointed "oh" he makes when he finds out its not Mexican related, thus not feeding in his "other" narrative.
Myself and a few friends formed a band. We decided we would call it 999 megabytes.
We still don’t have a gig though.
I asked my wife how to turn Alexa off.
She said: “How about walking through the room naked?”
Go for 1023 megabytes for extra credit
Nerd alert.
Have you seen this AI text bot? https://chat.openai.com/chat#
It's absolutely incredible. I fed it this prompt: Write a song with chords that leinster rugby supporters can sing at rugby matches to cheer their team on.
This is the result
Verse 1:
G D
Leinster Rugby, we are here
C G
Cheering loud, our hearts are clear
Blue and white, we stand as one
Fighting till the final whistle is done
Chorus:
Am C
Leinster, Leinster, we are the best
Rising up to take the test
Leinster, Leinster, hear us sing
Victory for the Blue and the King!
Verse 2:
With skill and grace, our players fight
Leaving all their fears behind
We stand together, hand in hand
Strong and brave, we take a stand
Bridge:
We'll never back down, we'll never give in
Am D
Leinster Rugby, our pride will never end
Not that incredible. Obviously couldn't find anything to rhyme with 'Munster suck'.
I composed another song in the last minute
Come on Leinster, let's take the field
We'll show Munster what it means to yield
We'll run and tackle, catch and pass
And leave them in the dust, no need to ask
Munster suck, Munster suck
We'll dominate, we won't be outdone
Leinster's the team, the best under the sun
We'll show our skill, our strength, our speed
We'll leave Munster in defeat
Their fans may cheer, but it's all in vain
Leinster's the team that will reign
We'll fight with all our heart and soul
We'll leave it all on the pitch, that's our goal
Leinster's the team that will win this game
And Munster will be left to feel the shame
That Brazilian team could just about restore my faith in football..... Just about.
With Bono as keeper Morocco had the edge.
Detectorists Christmas Special :)
Thanks for the reminder!
Thanks for the tip. Thought this was great after I absolutely hated boba Fett.
The price of petrol is coming down at a fair rate which is a nice bit of relief. Filled up the car for 1.49p/l yesterday.
You've no idea how much I'm looking forward to this.
Fun ways to pass time
#1) Fill out ESTA form for whole family in order to transit through an American airport.
Think I would prefer not to go, than transit through the US. One country on the planet I really hope to never set foot in.
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