Tower burgers and how they are crap

gameoverdude · 31-10-2022 04:24PM #1

Right so. Tower burgers. If you have to use a knife and fork, they're shite and not a burger.

Give me two smaller ones that I can pick up and munch away on without having to do a year's preparation on jaw muscle exercises.

Plus burger ingredients ideas are welcome (no rashers. That's for the breakfast thread).

BattleCorp · 31-10-2022 06:01PM

No rashers? Get ta fcuk. Nothing like smokey bacon on a burger.

But yeah, tis a pain in the hole when you can't pick the fcuker up and lay into it without a knife and fork.

silliussoddius · 31-10-2022 06:05PM

Or when you go to take a bite and the burger slips out and your teeth smash together.

gameoverdude · 31-10-2022 06:09PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119816206#Comment_119816206

Bit of innuendo there. Not going to judge.

Agreed. Normal hand size burgers.

Pisses me off with onion rings on them. Side dish, okay. Although fried gooey egg on top I've discovered and liked.

Half pounder sucks balls. Two quater pounder,grand.

I do like gherkins.

gameoverdude · 31-10-2022 06:11PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119816220#Comment_119816220

Hanging offence.

Worse is the mixture of sauces blister your lips afterwards!

You do need that initial big bite.

silliussoddius · 31-10-2022 06:16PM

Pickled jalapenos can be nice, also mixing a little of the brine with equal parts ketchup and mayo along with some mustard.

gameoverdude · 31-10-2022 06:25PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119816254#Comment_119816254

You're getting freaky on me here! I like.

Lazy me chops up onions, small size, chuck them in ketchup and blitz in in the microwave for 20 seconds.

Potential-Monke · 01-11-2022 03:05AM

Simply because you specified no rashers, you need to add Orc Bacon to your burgers. Immediately makes every burger better. Makes it so much better, that you will eventually just want the Orc Bacon. Which is also completely ok. Orc Bacon rocks!

01-11-2022 03:19AM

A ground chuck quarter pounder with a slice of stilton in a nice sesame seed bun is the perfect burger.

Guffy · 01-11-2022 03:37AM

Chorizo

Pineapple

Mushrooms (diced)

Onion

Jalapeno

Whiskey in the marie rose

Fresh salad items

Mexican cheese

All work in various combenations

gameoverdude · 01-11-2022 09:48AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119817907#Comment_119817907

Holy feck!

MarkR · 01-11-2022 09:59AM

Big burgers should be wider, not taller. Chode burgers.

satguy · 01-11-2022 10:14AM

It's not a burger if I can't pick it up,, If I'm out somewhere nice I try (if I can) to catch a glimpse of one of their burgers going to another table.

If it looks like big Ben, it's a mixed grill for me please..

gameoverdude · 01-11-2022 11:19AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119818161#Comment_119818161

Excellent point.

Edit: if it looks to intimidating to pick up, move on.

FortuneChip · 01-11-2022 11:27AM

This ain't the housing crisis, build out, not up!

Gimme a burger with the same circumference of a personal pizza!

Also, bun circumfernce should be equal to or less than burger circumference.

Toppings, Bacon & Cheese with a modest amount of sauce.

Not against things like jalepenos or gherkins in moderation, but Bacon & Cheese are king.

Gregor Samsa · 01-11-2022 11:48AM

Ordered a burger at a work dinner in a hotel in Minsk, Belarus one time. They asked me if I wanted gloves. I laughed, and dismissed the ludicrous suggestion. Crazy commies!

The burger came out, and it was so big and so messy that it was impossible to pick up. In fact it was so messy, it was difficult to even eat with a knife and fork - you'd nearly need a spoon.

I looked around and the more seasoned diners at this establishment were eating their burgers while wearing blue surgical gloves.

gameoverdude · 01-11-2022 12:43PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119818544#Comment_119818544

This is the problem with eating establishments at the moment. Notions!

As mentioned above, we have this amazing ability to extend the distance between our two hands. Width is the key.

Getting some sauce on the auld fingers is okay and licking it off is half the pleasure (oh matron!). But providing gloves! Jaysus.

thefallingman · 01-11-2022 01:03PM

i was in Australia in 99, they put Beetroot on bigmacs ffs, beetroot.

gameoverdude · 01-11-2022 01:08PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119818820#Comment_119818820

I like beetroot, but that's crazy.

The lower gravity in the Southern Hemisphere can cause issues with the thinking process though.

silliussoddius · 01-11-2022 03:19PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119817907#Comment_119817907

Leave from the same door you came in.

Ush1 · 01-11-2022 03:27PM

Worrying trend of Irish people calling rashers "bacon".

gameoverdude · 01-11-2022 03:34PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119819399#Comment_119819399

With all those ingredients, it does sound like a bit of a tower.

A bit of criticism, moderately so in some cases, but diced mushrooms? full portobello one I'd potentially let you away with. Whiskey in the Marie rose (unless it's one for the sauce and one for me)?

Pineapple! I believe it's written in our constitution that can only be on pizza or more pineapple. Don't start on me now. I didn't make up the laws.

BattleCorp · 01-11-2022 03:45PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119818820#Comment_119818820

My missus is half aussie, half Irish. She puts beetroot on burgers.

Time for a divorce methinks.

silliussoddius · 01-11-2022 03:52PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119819587#Comment_119819587

Tell her for every beetroot she doesn’t eat you will give her a Tim Tam.

Guffy · 01-11-2022 04:35PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119819502#Comment_119819502

😂

I wouldn't have them all on the one burger, various combinations i said.

Pineapple (fried obvs) on a Turkey burger is a must.

Finely diced Chestnut mushrooms and shallots with red and or green chillies and chorizo on a beef burger is savage. Couldn't be having big chunks of portobello on a burger, are ya mad.

Was recommended a bottle of bourbon some time ago, it was muck. But absolutely savage with paprika mixed through the pink sauce. Have used white rum too, but whisky is best.

tastyt · 01-11-2022 04:39PM

If you eat a burger with a knife and fork you’re what’s wrong with the country

gameoverdude · 01-11-2022 04:51PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119819814#Comment_119819814

I'll forget you mentioned pineapple, turkey and burger in the same sentence.

The veg, do you mix in with the sauce? Nothing pisses me off more than having an avalanche of ingredients falling out of my burger once I pick it up. Well, if someone mentions a tofu burger that might piss me off more.

gameoverdude · 01-11-2022 04:52PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119819622#Comment_119819622

That's needlessly cruel. But I like.

SteM · 01-11-2022 04:52PM

Was away last week and we went to a burger place. I had to leave the table to take a call before I could order so my wife ordered me a burger with caramelised onion and banana. 'Twas rank.

gameoverdude · 01-11-2022 04:56PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119819902#Comment_119819902

Does she hate you?

Feisar · 01-11-2022 05:14PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZwyLVUAS5Y

Anthony Bourdain (RIP) on burgers, the man knew what he was on about.

As someone who used to but all sorts in a burger including tapenade, actually not a bad shout, I've really paired things back based upon the above philosophy. Is this improving the experience and can I eat it as a burger.

Tower burgers and how they are crap

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