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Do men need a license to be allowed socialise (MOD NOTE IN OP)

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Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 59,096 ✭✭✭✭walshb


    Call out wolf whistling?

    ok: the scenario..my better half gets wolf whistled. I know she would not be afraid or offended. So, what do I do?

    1. challenge the person
    2. don’t challenge the person

    option 1 could lead to hostility, or worse

    I know for a fact that my wife would plead with me to ignore…

    so, there you go.

    inappropriate comments? This would need examples. Quite subjective.



  • Posts: 451 ✭✭ [Deleted User]


    What are you on about women's 'plan is to put their faith in men changing'

    ....where did I say that?

    I said that... I AM and I think women are put in certain scenarios practically every day and if men feel they are too put in them scenarios then they should find another way to express it rather than 'oh yeah well I feel unsafe too so what are women on about' ...well if you do feel uncomfortable/unsafe then voice it but not in some competition...it's not a **** competition.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,307 ✭✭✭amacca


    Fwiw, When I mention I'm intimidated at times in public, I'm not doing it in a competitive way


    The point isn't I'm being intimidated too so what are women on about...my point would be suggesting all men are responsible and need to step up is moronic and maybe dealing with antisocial/public order type offences in a way other than blaming anyone with a penis would be a more a useful response ...if the goal is to make public spaces safer that is.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 515 ✭✭✭TheTruth89


    No one said it was a competition i was replying in the context of the tread as a whole and points made previous to yours.


    Can you give an example of these scenarios in which you are put in every day that make you feel threatened ? Thats a pretty grim if true that you feel seriously threatened so often.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,463 ✭✭✭✭Geuze


    Fair enough.

    Most of the men I know are aged 25-55, and most are "not rough", so I have limited experience of what you describe. None of them would "catcall" anybody.

    I fear that all these calls for improved male behaviour may fall on deaf ears? The men doing these behaviours are the ones least likely to change?



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  • Posts: 451 ✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I wouldn't want to give the examples because from what I've experienced I feel you'd get a kick out of it.

    Thats an honest answer and that's not judging you in particular. That's what i have I've learned and how to to deal with it. Smile and nod and be compliant is your best bet.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,463 ✭✭✭✭Geuze


    Overhaul the justice system?

    Eamon Lynch was out and about with 500+ convictions. The justice system allowed that.


    https://www.irishmirror.ie/news/irish-news/crime/man-worst-criminal-record-ireland-9699536

    Even worse, the justice system, and his solicitor, allowed him to sue the parents of the young man killed in the car crash that he was responsible for.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,803 ✭✭✭standardg60


    Do you always base your beliefs on scenarios?

    I'm sure there was a case a few years ago where a woman was opportunistically killed by a roadworker?

    I'll try to find it



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 59,096 ✭✭✭✭walshb


    I’m not following you. You asked if I’d call out wolf whistling. And would I call out inappropriate comments…I answered you.

    as for the opportunistic killer….ok.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 515 ✭✭✭TheTruth89


    I wouldn't get a kick out of anyone going around in a state of fear or being put in threatening situations on a regular basis as its wrong but fair enough i was just curious since you shared it in the tread.


    And I'm empathetic to woman in these situations as most normal people would be but i think attacking men as a collective is counterproductive to the change they are seeking.



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,047 ✭✭✭Sunny Disposition


    The opportunity for some genuine social change is going to be ruined by this kind of virtue signalling nonsense.

    Of course a lot of behaviour that has been ignored is unacceptable. But this kind of stupid talk will make men tune out of what would be useful discussions.

    Certainly a lot in society should change, women have to take too many precautions and feel unsafe far too often. But suggesting individual men are responsible for anything other than their own behaviour is genuinely stupid and likely to prevent any male engagement.

    Ashling Murphy’s death is a devastating tragedy for her family.

    It has provided a moment when change might happen, but illogical, unrealistic and stupid contributions to the discussion could see that possibility squandered.

    Condolences to all the bereaved, a huge huge loss to her family and community. Hopefully something positive will come from this if society does more to deal with issue of harrasment and violence against women.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,798 ✭✭✭✭hatrickpatrick


    It's more than possible to utterly condemn anyone killing anyone else, opportunistically or otherwise, without similarly condemning crass communication. They are not the same thing. Those attempting to create some kind of spectrum in which they are, in fact, the same thing, are simply creating division where there shouldn't be any. And that's the problem

    Nobody is going to deny that this murder (and indeed all other murders, opportunistic or otherwise) is appalling and that more needs to be done to prevent this kind of thing from happening and punish those who are caught engaging in it. That unified response utterly falls apart when idiots start saying sh!t like "if you make unsavoury jokes in your private whatsapp groups, or are a loudmouth in public, you exist on the same spectrum as murder". It doesn't help, and that's exactly what people in this thread are questioning. They are orders of magnitude, leagues, worlds, universes apart. One is at most a mild inconvenience to some people and an enjoyable occurrence to others, while one is a horrific, monstrous crime which deserves to have the full weight of the justice system applied to it and those engaged in it ruthlessly punished. Same applies to assault, sexual or otherwise.

    You are simply never going to convince a large number of people that words - even rude or unwanted words - can ever carry the same kind of weight as physical violence. A huge, huge, huge number of people simply don't think that way and are perplexed by those who do.



  • Posts: 451 ✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Ive often felt collectively attacked so I understand but just wondering why you see it as an 'attack'?

    Do you know how much women look up to men and to be fair..that's my opinion but any woman I know who feels that way has been so let down by them that they have just given up trusting them anymore...and I don't mean let down by minor things.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,358 ✭✭✭✭Kermit.de.frog


    To me this woman was killed by a lunatic.

    Gender doesn't come in to it at all. Never crossed my mind that there was some deeper meaning here.

    Attacking all men by the media is a nice distraction from the lawlessness our so-called judicial system allows in this country to go unpunished I suppose.

    With so many walking our streets with 100+ convictions maybe both genders need to have eyeballs in the back of their heads.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 59,096 ✭✭✭✭walshb


    Gender does come into it due to the clear physical advantages males have. Statistics also clearly show that vast majority of murders are committed by males. So of course gender comes into it.

    vast majority violent crime also committed by males, hence gender being an issue that is discussed.



  • Posts: 451 ✭✭ [Deleted User]


    At the end of the day... whatever about feminism and all this hatred...the whole idea of the patriarchy...they do have a point...

    Men in general are physically stronger than women and throughout time and evolution that has given men a headstart or a jump up and no matter what you say that has and does have an impact on where we are today...

    Taking away the physical advantage, I've no doubt that if we had more female CEOs etc we'd still have alot of the same problems...with great power comes great responsibility and all that 🙃🙂



  • Posts: 1,557 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    He was working on a building site and she passed by wasn't it? I cannot remember his name. Quick Google didn't get any hit. I know it is in a book i have but what book...



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,169 ✭✭✭✭El_Duderino 09


    Sure and as far as I know, no serious commentator has agreed with what he said. It's been rejected. That's the end of the story, isn't it? Maybe there are some eejits or trolls on twitter who agreed with him, but no serious people in real life think this is anything approaching a serious thought.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,358 ✭✭✭✭Kermit.de.frog


    I don't agree this incident is part of some systemic gender issue. This is a murder case. We aren't talking dog whistling here or sexist comments.

    Anyway there is no actual answer to your complaint. Nothing is going to change the evolutionary fact that men will always be physically stronger than women.

    Most men don't treat women badly. Not in my experience anyway.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,353 ✭✭✭alan partridge aha


    Did BoC not call him out on it, or did he just go along with it like a nodding donkey.



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 59,096 ✭✭✭✭walshb


    I’m not complaining.

    I’m just saying that gender is an issue that is being discussed here due to reasons I mentioned.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,358 ✭✭✭✭Kermit.de.frog


    It's a distraction from the real issues I pointed out regarding repeat offenders and/or our so-called judicial system.

    We have dangerous, really dangerous psychotics walking streets up and down this country.

    That's the real scandal.

    This gender stuff is a total distraction from the real problems.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 515 ✭✭✭TheTruth89


    That can never be changed though, the reality is there will always be murder, the weak and vulnerable are always going to be the most likely victims, its always been that way and always will be, but to say men are the problem because they are stronger or what ever is in no way beneficial to the argument nor will it help women or prevent more victims in the future if anything it derails the argument. There has to be some degree of realism.


    The real focus should be on what can be realistically changed.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,307 ✭✭✭amacca


    Don't think so...I think it was let fly without any indication what the rest of the talking heads thought about it, certainly no disagreement/questioning that I can remember.


    I turned off after a couple of minutes more of what I thought was very poor fare..


    Just thought if that's what passes for debate or reasonable discussion on the national broadcaster these days we are fucked as a country.

    Recently listened to a couple of episodes of Andrew keens podcast keen on and although he sounds like a lad that would potentially crawl up his own hole but I doubt he would have let such ludicrous bullshit pass....a mc conkey comment like that would have been eviscerated imo....


    But then again he wouldn't have felt it necessary to utter such tosh in an environment where someone might actually interrogate it.



  • Posts: 451 ✭✭ [Deleted User]




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 607 ✭✭✭Fishdoodle


    This type of discussion brings up so many emotive issues - if anything, society as a whole needs be looked at.

    Over the years TV content has become more violent and graphic. Film rating age limits have reduced. All sorts of content is available on-click. Violence passed as ‘entertainment’ enters the social consciousness.

    It’s disturbing that society seems to be degenerating. Whilst I agree that most violent crimes are perpetrated by males there is a deeper issue at play which goes beyond gender.

    We should aspire to live in a society which is safe for all and we can look out for each other.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,146 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    The comments are usually made by people that you don’t know, not people you do know.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 38,009 ✭✭✭✭BorneTobyWilde


    If only every girl was like Lady Bloodbath, then a lot of guys would be taught a lot of lessons pretty fast.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,307 ✭✭✭amacca


    I'd love to see that happen to guys like that/the low life scumbags that intimidate people

    I just find it wrong/insulting to be grouped with lads like that and silly to think I should somehow be calling them out.......



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 94 ✭✭someyoke


    There hasn't been one reasoned debate on rte since this tragedy occurred.

    Very little focus on law and order. Duffy's main contribution "men need to check men". Ray Darcy ashamed to be a man (someone said on a different thread he was in tears). Tubs... well he was just being tubs.

    BOC obviously following the party line. Mcconkey, whose background is in field of science then allowed make this suggestion unchallenged.

    All the above on a state broadcaster. If there was an American left wing media platform coming out with nonsense like this we'd all be laughing and thinking how ludicrous their society had become.

    And is there anyone asking questions about our legal system or policing?

    As someone else pointed out above this campaign if it continues is going to be more divisive than productive to society.

    Also to say don't mind Sam, nobody will take that suggestion seriously is missing the point. Idiots like him in the media will drive focus away from the effective solutions.



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