Married but stag party wants a strip club

TP_CM · 09-01-2022 10:05AM #1

I'm married with two little ones at home. I was never a 'lads' lad who was into all the womanising and locker room chat and that. To be honest one of my favourite things about marriage is that I don't have to engage in any of that anymore. I have an image in my head of what a good dad looks like and frequenting strip clubs is definitely not part of it.

But now one of my mates is getting married and the stag party whatsapp is alight with excitement about going to strip clubs.

I don't really know what to do because on one hand no one is forcing me to do anything but on the other no one wants to be a wet blanket during these once off parties.

My wife is a very easy going partner but I can't help but think it wouldn't be the best part of her day to hear I were going to, or I'd gone to a strip club.

What's the general consensus on married lads, or lads in commited relationships going to a strip club during a stag party? I see in tv shows it's a fairly normal thing so maybe it's not as big a deal as I'm making it out to be?

09-01-2022 10:08AM

Go to the stag skip the strip club, zero problem

listermint · 09-01-2022 10:09AM

You can choose to go to the stag and just not go to the club. You can choose to go the club and just have a drink.

You don't actually have to participate in anything tbh. Not sure what the big deal actually is. It's not exactly the moral dilemma of the century. Some of those lads will be all in buying dances and what not. The majority will not. They'll have a beer and sit off by the bar.

You've many choices.

893bet · 09-01-2022 10:09AM

No big deal. Go have a beer and relax. You would have to pay extra for a private dance and you will be ignored unless you put your hand in your pocket. The party will unlikely stay there more than an hour.

893bet · 09-01-2022 10:11AM

Just to add if you display resistance now it’s likely that one of your friends will pay for a private dance for you to “loosen you up”. And that would be very hard to get away from in there with out creating a little scene.

And it’s not like the movies where you stick dollar bills in their panties.

thefallingman · 09-01-2022 10:14AM

I went to one years ago op and it was a horrible experience just so seedy, I left after 5 minutes and met the lads after. Honestly never held them (friends) in the same esteem after.

Padre_Pio · 09-01-2022 10:15AM

I don't like strip clubs, yet I've been to a few. Honestly you don't have to get involved.

Just buy an overpriced pint, sit back and let the rest of the lads interact with the women and take attention off you.

If any of the women chat to you, just tell them you're not interested. They'll move on quick enough.

TP_CM · 09-01-2022 10:19AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118442738#Comment_118442738

Did you feel like the black sheep for the rest of the stag or anything? Did they chat to you or treat you differently? I went to one about 20 years ago in Spain alright. I barely remember it though.

09-01-2022 10:20AM

Have respect for yourself and your wife and kids.

You're the one who'll have to look them in the eye the morning after. Not your pals or the gang here saying it's not a problem.

If it's a problem for you then it's a problem.

Stay at home and and do a nice meal for the family. You'll sleep easier and so will your wife.

893bet · 09-01-2022 10:20AM

i have flashbacks the club on my stag in Magaluf. I was beaten to a pulp 😅

If they offer the “stag dance”…..run.

Innocent harmless enough crack.

vegandinner · 09-01-2022 10:21AM

Yea your over thinking it. You won’t be spending the night there, probably have one / two beers, then onto a nightclub. Most stags I’ve been on have gone to a strip club.

I presume you are going abroad as I doubt there is any nightlife open here? I’ve been to some in Eastern Europe that were a bit seedy, but again no pressure from anyone to partake in anything.

thefallingman · 09-01-2022 10:22AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118442747#Comment_118442747

No not at all but it helped me realise they weren’t the friends for me, it was years ago when I was a young buck in my twenties

TP_CM · 09-01-2022 10:22AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118442741#Comment_118442741

To be honest I forgot that you don't have to actually engage in anything when you're there and you can sit at the bar. For some reason I thought you bought a ticket for a dance at the door on the way in or something.

09-01-2022 10:30AM

Was at a strip club once on a stag. Didn't enjoy it, paying for a lap dance would be one step up from propositioning a prostitute, which would have zero appeal (I'm all for making the sex trade legal for safety reasons).

I didnt feel comfortable watching your wan strip, I turned my back. The bouncer said not to be disrespectful to the dancer. But, in the end I ignored him and talked to my friends. I did pay for the stag to get a lap dance, so somewhat complicit.

One funny thing though, we had to pass a gaggle of Holy Joes to enter. I don't think they had much joy disuading people.

cj maxx · 09-01-2022 10:53AM

OP,I'm not trying to make little of your discomfort, but it's a strip club not a brothel. Just have a few beers and say no to private dances, extras. I imagine your wife isn't particularly worried.

09-01-2022 10:53AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058226806/married-but-stag-party-wants-a-strip-club

I hate the places, with a passion. Dingy dives stinking of desperation.

I've been dragged to a few in stags. Women are there to do a job, they'll come over to chat but they are working so their end game comment will be "do you want a dance?"

Just be upfront that you're not interested and they won't bother you.

That's if you go.

2nd option is stay in what ever pub you're in and just say you're not in the mood. I took to doing that (once I was a bit older and beyond giving a crap).

Chances are that there'll be someone else in the same boat

09-01-2022 10:58AM

Are there many lap dancing clubs in Ireland? The one I went to was in Kilkenny.

09-01-2022 11:08AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118442751#Comment_118442751

The guy is going to a strip bar, not picking up a hooker.

Op, strip bars are also bars, you don’t have to partake, you can sit at the bar and have a pint. It’s no big deal.

And, you don’t have to tell your wife that you, or anyone else were there.

Bawnmore · 09-01-2022 11:10AM

I don't like them either (married with kids, but never liked them before that either), but have been on a few stags where it was part of it. Same advice as above - either go and have a beer, or skip that part and have a beer close by. There'll possibly even be someone else there who has no interest either that you could skip off with. Any stag I've been on, nobody would give a shite if someone wanted to skip it - everyone's different.

FintanMcluskey · 09-01-2022 11:12AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118442759#Comment_118442759

Best of luck finding a group of male friends who won't go into one when the chance presents.

In fact, best if luck finding a group of female friends who won't go into an equivalent male show when the chance presents.

thefallingman · 09-01-2022 11:15AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118442920#Comment_118442920

I don’t think that’s true, read the thread plenty of us don’t like it, but each to their own

09-01-2022 11:21AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118442932#Comment_118442932

I was in one in London many years ago, a guy we went in with had a similar viewpoint to you, very vocal. The one part of the night I vividly remember, was him later in the night asking me to borrow £50 so he could get more dances. Some don’t like it, but then really enjoy it when they get into the groove. The high and mighty, are sometimes the most wicked.

FintanMcluskey · 09-01-2022 11:22AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118442932#Comment_118442932

I'm not a fan either, but from experience you will struggle to participate in group holidays/stags if you refrain from being friendly with people who do.

Atlantic Dawn · 09-01-2022 11:29AM

Generally unless it's some dodgy country you are in its look but do not touch or you will be thrown out on your ear so little harm to be done if you have sense.

Mr Burny · 09-01-2022 11:33AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118442932#Comment_118442932

Yeah but this thread would attract the geeks and weaks!

Just go OP and don’t be a stick in the mud. You’ll have a bit of craic

09-01-2022 11:42AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118442786#Comment_118442786

Strange how you are derogatory about the Holy Jose

09-01-2022 11:43AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118443024#Comment_118443024

How did yo know one was named Jose. Uncanny.

MTU · 09-01-2022 11:43AM

Best tell your wife op, no heroes welcome here.

09-01-2022 11:44AM

"Ah yeah, lads, it's not worth the hassle I'd get from the missus. I'll be in this pub having a pint. Text me when you're done."

09-01-2022 11:52AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118443030#Comment_118443030

Goddamn spell corrector.

You seem to refer to Joe/Jose and their “gaggle” in derogatory terms, yet it would seem your views on these clubs are more aligned with them than the punters inside.

whisky_galore · 09-01-2022 11:57AM

How many married men run off with a random stripper at a stag? Not many.

I doubt many men would lose a nights sleep over what goes on at a hen.

Married but stag party wants a strip club

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