Are healthcare workers becoming more rude and obnoxious?

BrianD3 · 16-10-2021 8:55am #1

I am in good health but unfortunately a relative is not (dementia and other conditions) so there are regular hospital, clinic and GP appointments with me as carer. I'd estimate that at least 50% of my interactions with healthcare workers are unsatisfactory in some way usually due to rudeness, assuming that problems are my/my relatives fault when they clearly aren't, incompetence, a patronising attitude etc. Or the one that really boils my piss - healthcare workers who give a distinct impression that this is the first time they have EVER encountered a person with dementia.

Had an experience in one public voluntary hospital recently. I started out with a positive mindset given that we were finally being seen after months of waiting. But the rudeness and computer says no nonsense started at reception and got worse from there. By the time some Asian person (I genuinely couldn't tell whether it was a man or woman) started admonishing my relative for leaving their elbow sticking out the side of the wheelchair, I was ready to sink my fist into somebody's face.

Maybe my relative isn't the only one with dementia, are these workers confused about where they are working, maybe they think they're in a cattle Mart rather than a hospital? I wonder has Covid made this worse - ver are your papers, stand on this spot, sanitise your hands NOW. Also GPs are now in the habit of making patients wait two weeks for a useless "phone consultation" because Covid and "we're very busy and very important you know"

If healthcare people don't want to deal with sick, elderly and vulnerable people why don't they fcuk off and find a different job?

listermint · 16-10-2021 8:57am

Have you considered it's you with the attitude.

I'm not sure if you meant to come across this way but you don't sound one bit pleasant.

'some Asian person'.

.yeah ok. Enjoy your Saturday I'm sure it will be poxy as normal.

KaneToad · 16-10-2021 9:04am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118027247#Comment_118027247

I'd agree with this statement. What the ethnicity or gender of the healthcare worker has to with it is beyond me, yet you still chose to highlight it..

pjohnson · 16-10-2021 9:15am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118027263#Comment_118027263

An inability to tell whethet it was a man or woman suggests there are even more issues

Green Peter · 16-10-2021 9:18am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058213374/are-healthcare-workers-becoming-more-rude-and-obnoxious

Try dealing with Joe Public on a regular basis and you will be astounded with the arrogance there is out there by many who should know better.

Fitz II · 16-10-2021 9:22am

I always find that patients experiance of healthcare is a reflection of their attitude towards healthcare.

Lot of people dont like, not being in control and get aggressive and annoyed as a means to regain some power in the situation.

There is a saying in medicine, surgery etc that goes "Nice patients, get good outcomes" and it really is true. When all the nurses/doctors etc are relaxed and unstressed they perform better. They will go out of their way to go that extra mile for you. When there is aggressive patients or family around, workers retreat into a more defensive posture.

You can manipulate this to your advantage by being really really nice, watching what and how you say things and appreciating that healthcare workers are doing a nasty, stressful and unpredictable job often in less than ideal conditions. They need you to be respectful and patient....

Remember you need them a hell of a lot more than they need you, so give up the macho bullsh1t. Even better go spend a day wiping arses in a nursing home and see how your opinion shifts.

Poorside · 16-10-2021 9:22am

Your post makes it look like you're the issue here with some horrible statements in it, have you dealt with these people/ this place before?

jo187 · 16-10-2021 9:23am

As a health care worker from Hospital to nursing homes, I think the problem might lie with you. Or you have been incredible unlucky in your dealings with those working in healthcare.

Your attitude in your post is anything to go by, you might need to relax. Maybe your really struggling dealing with your situation and look into getting help with your family member. Maybe full time career or nursing home.

Billgirlylegs · 16-10-2021 9:27am

I think OP has a point.

Health service in this country is pretty poor on the condescension front. The Pandemic or more correctly, handling of it hasn't inspired confidence.

Not sure why posters are taking issue with the post. It's a discussion forum, in AH at that, and OP has had a rant about something. No harm discussing it rather than attacking what they perceive as a personality issue

Triangle · 16-10-2021 9:27am

I have to agree with the other posters. Ive had nothing but positive interactions with health care staff. The doctors (mostly) come across as aloof assholes and the processes/procedures seem like they've been written before computers were invented.

But the nurses and front line staff ive met have been awesome.

Poorside · 16-10-2021 9:35am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118027324#Comment_118027324

Did you read the post?

. By the time some Asian person (I genuinely couldn't tell whether it was a man or woman)

are these workers confused about where they are working, maybe they think they're in a cattle Mart rather than a hospital?

ver are your papers, stand on this spot, sanitise your hands NOW.

mistress_gi · 16-10-2021 10:26am

I find dealing with most of healthcare staff in ireland incredibly frustrating.

I'd be more informed than the average patient and i always have to advogate for myself, otherwise I'd be dead, a couple of times by now 😂

I am not exagerating when i say I'd be dead!

The lack of english often frustrate the crap out of me, even though i am foreign myself. And the fact GPs, for example often are dismissive of what i am telling them...

Consultants on the other hand, I've never had a problem with and find them very knowlegeable and open to being partners in my healthcare management rather than dictators.

I totally get what the OP is saying about his situation, the more you have to deal with dismissive professionals the worst it gets but there is really no way to avoid them

BrianD3 · 16-10-2021 10:29am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118027308#Comment_118027308

Thanks for proving my point. Your communication skills are lacking, I presume you meant carer rather than career. As for the comment about placing my relative in a nursing home - yes I have gotten those "helpful" suggestions from healthcare people. Mostly because they didn't want to deal with challenges or do their job. Make the person someone else's "problem".

People are placed in nursing homes and effectively written off and denied healthcare "ah sure they're old and they have dementia" is on the tip of everyone's tongue. This is a known issue in dysfunctional health systems and staff attitudes reflect this. Minor interventions that could improve quality of life are not done because nobody (apart from relatives if there are any) gives a crap.

Another major and potentially life threatening problem is healthcare workers (including physicians and nurses) who don't know the difference between delirium and dementia and arrogantly don't believe family members when they explain that no, their elderly relative isn't always confused.

I knew the Asian reference would trigger people, one reason I brought that up is because I have found that attitudes seem worse from foreign nationals, from receptionists to consultants. Communication is often a problem and maybe there is a cultural factor.

Somehow it is all wrong to point out things like this yet when a healthcare worker who is being paid to provide a service makes certain assumptions based on a person's age and mental status. - that's grand.

I certainly will not relax. Two of my relatives are already dead because of fcukups in HSE hospitals. I'm trying to avoid this happening again.

A

Fandymo · 16-10-2021 10:30am

As the old saying goes, if you go out and bump into an asshole, you’ve been unlucky to bump into an asshole. If you go out and everyone you bump into is an asshole, you are most likely the asshole.

PalLimerick · 16-10-2021 10:34am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058213374/are-healthcare-workers-becoming-more-rude-and-obnoxious

Healthcare workers are some of the rudest people who think they are God like. Granted they do a hard job, but they chose to do that job. And they are well paid for it even though they'll have you believe they're not. There is some great nurses and doctors and so on. But the bad ones outweigh the good ones. With covid they think they can get away with their bad behaviour and lack of compassion and professionalism.

topmanamillion · 16-10-2021 10:36am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118027263#Comment_118027263

Not only that but manages to insult their gender as well.

I honestly wouldn't blame anyone working in A&E for snapping back now and again. They're under staffed, under resourced and everyone that comes in blames them for it. It's a tough job and the majority of the hurlers on the ditch wouldn't last 10 mins at it.

PalLimerick · 16-10-2021 10:48am

Real scenario.

Elderly patient attends renal clinic. She, the patient is receiving Dialysis for renal failure. No output of urine due to Kidney Failure.

The nurse is a renal nurse. And she asks the patient for a urine sample. The patient says she hasn't one. Nurse replies you're coming here long enough to know you should bring a urine sample. Totally rude and no need.

Patient replies, well you're a nurse long enough and a renal one at that, so you should know a dialysis patient passes no urine and can't provide a sample.

No need not to be nice to an elderly renal patient. Their lives is hard enough.

jo187 · 16-10-2021 10:51am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118027484#Comment_118027484

Wow I spelt a word wrong. So that means my communication in work must be terrible? You must be tired jumping to all these conclusions.

The relax comment was meant as a concern. As your clearly stressed and snapping at everyone. Your reaction to my comment, proves my point.

I'm so glad you know more about medicine then all the doctors and health care staff you deal with. I'm sure there delighted when you come in, telling them how they are doing there job wrong

You clearly started this thread for attention and clearly need help in your situation. It can be hard for families dealing with this type of thing and the fact other people have pointed this out, suggest it's clearly visible to others too. You might want to listen to them.

shesty · 16-10-2021 10:53am

Mixed feelings.Generally I find their manner is lovely.Where I have issues is when, like someone else said, they meet someone like me who is half informed aswell, or who at least asks questions, they get a bit shocked.Some don't actually know how to react.Some become quite brusque.Some look at me like I have ten heads because would I not just accept their opinion?I'm not rude, a firm believer in you get back what you put out.But I won't stay silent if I have a question either.And some don't handle that very well.

PalLimerick · 16-10-2021 10:59am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118027564#Comment_118027564

Your post reeks of faux concern.

Wanderer78 · 16-10-2021 11:02am

...or are they simply just over worked and generally mistreated......

sydthebeat · 16-10-2021 11:02am

Empathy.

If I sense the person caring for my loved one is overworked, tired and cranky I will do everything I can to make them feel at ease and relaxed when speaking to us. This involves lots of "sorry I know your up to your eyes but can I just ask..."

This approach tends to get good results.

The bull in a China shop approach of "why aren't you doing this / that / the other gets peoples backs up, defensive, and ready to snap should a raised voice come their way.

After 2 posts I think it's obvious which approach the OP takes

PalLimerick · 16-10-2021 11:06am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118027600#Comment_118027600

You shouldn't have to kiss arse to ask a question.

16-10-2021 11:07am

I agree with the OP on his point about GPs.

Having recently had a flare up of a recurring illness that I knew I needed immediate treatment for, I contacted my GP office on Monday morning @ 9am I was told the best they could offer was a phone consultation the following Friday, and the doctor would then decide if I needed a face-to-face appointment. Having previous experience of this new system, I knew a face-to-face would be at least a week after the phone consultation.

Pre-covid if you rang on a Monday morning you would reasonably expect to get an appointment to see a doctor - maybe not your first choice, but one of the doctors within the practice - on Tuesday or Wednesday. I was also expected to disclose the nature of my illness to the receptionist before she would book the call, which I object to on the grounds that a receptionist is not qualified to triage patients.

It makes you feel very vulnerable and its quite scary when you know you are ill but cannot access your doctor within a reasonable time frame. I am looking to change surgery (after 38 years) if I can find one without this new system.

MEGA BRO WOLF 5000 · 16-10-2021 11:07am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118027295#Comment_118027295

This. We're sick of your shît. The self entitlement of some of the people who come into hospital is astonishing. It's a horrible environment to work in, especially now. If we think we're being short with you it's because the hours suck, the work is hard, we're unbelievabley understaffed and underpaid. Just remember the health service in Ireland is a third world service. It's not our fault. We're sorry your few hours in hospital were crap, it would be just as crap for us if we were in your shoes. At the end of the day remember it's a hospital and not a hotel.

PalLimerick · 16-10-2021 11:11am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118027622#Comment_118027622

Get a new job then.

16-10-2021 12:25pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118027564#Comment_118027564

"I'm so glad you know more about medicine then all the doctors and health care staff you deal with. I'm sure there delighted when you come in, telling them how they are doing there job wrong"

Don't be so dismissive.

The best doctor I ever met was one who told me "never discount the insight of a patient's relatives. They may not be medically trained, but they know their loved ones."

Doctors get a brief snapshot of a person while attending an appointment. Family members and carers are with them sometimes 24/7.

I have had some really good experiences with HCPs and also some really bad ones. So I won't tar all with the same brush. But sometimes Doctors do get things wrong.

Like the OP, I have had a parent with dementia where I was fobbed off, or told there was nothing wrong or that things were not severe, or that intervention was not needed just because my mother was having a "good day" at her appointment.

listermint · 16-10-2021 12:29pm

Two posts in and the OP has proven what I thought about their attitude.

Thanks OP as I said originally enjoy your Saturday. I'm sure there are some more 'foreigners' out there to do your every whim for next to no money.

jackboy · 16-10-2021 12:35pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118027634#Comment_118027634

In fairness get a new job would involve going back to college for years and then starting a new career at the bottom. Getting a new job can be an enormous task and actually not possible for economic reasons.

maestroamado · 16-10-2021 12:35pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058213374/are-healthcare-workers-becoming-more-rude-and-obnoxious

I just flashed through the tread...

Irish people have really changed in... we are selfish and that just happened... its a pity really... we use words like empathy but its all talk...

We have lost our sense of nature in my view...

cavan_man2021 · 16-10-2021 12:40pm

Op feel your pain with the state of the hse in this country. There is a lot of arrogant little pricks working everywhere in the hse.

This site is full of arrogant little tossers who knit pick and stir the ****. They want to royal you up and laugh at you.

I have read loads of comments and they are only trouble makers on this site.

Are healthcare workers becoming more rude and obnoxious?

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