Things you want to say to husband/boyf/ex's/friends/family/people MOD NOTE POST #1

Airyfairy12 · 06-01-2021 10:31pm

Why is it so hard for you to just have a conversation about anything? When we're seemingly getting along youre contrived and patronising. At your worst you manipulate, lie & gaslight.
When in a group, you whisper to other people, single someone out and make mean 'jokes' about them like youre 12, trying to get other people to join in with you. When no one joins in or someone responds in a way you dont like, you storm off for attention licking your own wounds feeling sorry for yourself.
Its so draining and hurtful.

jellybear · 09-01-2021 12:01pm

It was surreal to hear your voice again after so many years. I'm so happy you found your way in life and that you're doing what you love. You sound so happy and full of enthusiasm. It was lovely to listen to.

LilacNails · 01-02-2021 12:30am

M.

U know it was strange u contacted me Friday .. The day 1 year previous I went through that *event*. The day I got so sick, so scared, u didn't ask ur boss if u could leave work to bring me to the Dr after I rang u crying in pain.

I had to drive myself, in such pain I had to pull over to the side of the road and was so close to ringing an ambulance. I was so scared. I was in so much pain. And u let me down.

And like a fool I met you with u and said nothing about it. I think I thought I was over it, but because I don't think I ever felt so much pain in my life, I had to drive myself.... On my own.... No one else to call.

Our secret. As like as it didn't happen.

I think I'm so much more hurt than I let on. I feel like I like u get away with that. That was such a **** thing to do. To not do. To not..... Mind me, look after me.... I feel like a piece of ****.

I'm so let down, and u get away with it.

10-02-2021 11:24pm

Hello. We did up a 25 person guest list at the weekend just in case. You were one of the names to go from my side. I miss you. You had gotten in touch with me a year ago. We spoke about your job interview and how you would be a "real person"

Almost 40 and you finally getting your act together

Sure aren't I the same.

Do you remember that time you 'coached' me before a first date? I had the great (terrible) idea of recording it on my phone and then you listening afterward to give me advice

Jaysus. Or the time we cycled around Stephens Green acting the eejit. My first time on a bike in about 25 years.

As always I hope you are happy.

waxmelts2000 · 12-02-2021 11:03pm

6 years ago today , I went to the CUMH to be told no heartbeat, baby gone.

6 weeks and 2 days but it was not meant to be . Thinking of you my baby , today and knowing that it was my only chance to become a mother. Tough day today.

neutral bystander · 20-02-2021 11:49pm

Ok. I remember how this goes now.

LegacyUser · 17-03-2021 11:07am

im sorry. i always cared. you know that. you know i was concerned about all of us. if it didnt seem like it i did it was because i couldnt communicate it and i thought you wanted me to leave and i could see how i could make things better. i know your in pain and i wanted to communicate that to you but i didnt know to do that.

Sunny Dayz · 18-03-2021 10:38am

They say that to make new friends as you get older try to join a club or a group. Your group is lovely with nice people in it but I’ve come to learn that they are not my friends. Acquaintances, friendly, people I know - but not my friends. It’s clear that outside of the group chat there are private chats that I’m not a part of.

LegacyUser · 19-03-2021 11:44pm

Dear P,

I see you are married now so I'm not sure why this even matters.

You asked me five years ago who I liked in the room. I know what you meant. And you knew it was you. But your girlfriend of a month (now wife) stood behind you as you asked. It would have been wrong for me to be honest. I hoped that if you felt the same way that you would do the right thing and leave her. But you were hedging your bets. I do hope you are both happy now. And I do hope I can let go of the regret of lying to spare L too. I wish I didn't still care after all this time.

Airyfairy12 · 20-03-2021 9:41pm

You said to me that 'Groups of women cant be friends because women are bitchy' - No, youre wrong! Groups of women can be friends, you can't be friends with groups of women because you are always the bitch in the group, you say nasty things behind your 'friends' backs and even to their faces depending on your mood and who youre with. Every female friend group youve been apart of has fallen apart because of you. Women leave the friend group because they no longer want to put up with your bitchiness. You pick one person in the group to be really close to and drive a wedge between them and their other friends. You think you can excuse your behavior because youre a woman and 'all women are bitchy'. No theyre not!

Kitty6277 · 21-03-2021 11:51pm

I miss you

I know it's corona times but I can't help but wish that you'd break the rules to see me. Three months (and counting!) is far too long to go without seeing your SO and I just wish I wouldn't have to wait indefinitely

24-03-2021 6:13pm

I miss our friendship. I feel bad for wanting you to chat like you used to when I know you struggle. But then I think to myself how hard can it be to just respond with a "hello" or "how are you". Is that really so difficult?

I don't expect you to be constantly available. I know what it's like to have a friend who expects so so much and who is suffocating.
You used to share the happenings in your life with me and now you share nothing. That's sad

Antares35 · 25-03-2021 1:15am

I'm sorry I'm treating you like ****. I'm going through a hard time and I know you don't get it because we are so different.

27-03-2021 8:45pm

I have no words to say to that.

Airyfairy12 · 30-04-2021 2:40pm

So I have hardley heard from you in months, you contact every so often, once a month or so to meet up but any time I contact you you bearly respond to my messages and youre always too busy to meet so I took a step back. Its not unlike you to let me down, youve been doing it forever and I dont know why ive put up with it, maybe because we have such a long history!
Last year you were going through a hard time, your two close friends saw you were vulnerable and turned on you, they were nasty and cruel when you needed them the most. I came back into your life and stuck by you, hung out with you nearly everyday because you didnt want to be alone, I even went on holidays with you during which you decided everything we did even down to when and where we went for breakfast, lunch, dinner & drinks. I comforted you when you were crying your eyes out over the year youd had, I listened to you talk about your problems every single day.
No your back with your ex, made up with your two friends and youve completely discarded me, youve done to me what they did to you. Every time this has happened over the years I swear never again but then you come back with a sad story and youre so manipulative I fall for it, youve taken advantage of my good nature too many times and im totally fed up of it. You clearly think so little of me. This time I dont think theres any recovering from this. Youve closed the door on our friendship for the last time and the next time you need something, dont even try to get in touch with me because I wont hold back in telling you were to go!

sammyjo90 · 05-05-2021 8:55pm

Thanks for allowing me to stay in our apartment...how the fck am i meant to live and walk around this empty place now...how do i get used to this?

Jolene84 · 08-05-2021 12:12am

Just stop and think before you talk, you are so direct. If it’s not your business stop poking your nose in.

You have been so good to me over the years, but I can see your mouth will get you in trouble.

I was told last week you were texting B asking her personal questions. Something that happened that had no impact on your life.

Keep your mouth shut

Lavinia · 08-05-2021 1:57pm

4 and half years was enough.. I am ready to leave.. and to start something new.. eventually.. please don't try to stop me like few times before as.. I can't stay this time.. this time its really over.. I have to step forward to a place with no you.. you say you feel this deep contentedness with me but the thing is.. I do not feel that towards you anymore.. not like this.. just .. time of getting over you starts today.. I'm done..

Deja Boo · 20-05-2021 6:46am

...just another brick in the wall.

jellybear · 20-05-2021 9:38am

You'll be fine and it will be so worth it!!! I promise

sporina · 24-05-2021 5:52pm

i love you sooo much - you are like an angel to me, here on earth.. thank you

jellybear · 25-05-2021 8:27pm

Some things just never change.

SaltSweatSugar · 26-05-2021 3:07am

The fact that you jumped into a river tonight and got arrested, but still say you’re not an alcoholic breaks my heart. I don’t know what else I can do to help you.

sunbeam · 02-06-2021 2:04am

I know you are stressed, I know you are doing your best but seriously at this point I could just ****ing strangle you. We are both trying to help him, but 'tough love' won't help here. You tried that the last time and he almost ended up dead. And you seem to have taken that as a personal insult. Is it too much to ask for a tiny bit of compassion?

sporina · 02-06-2021 11:46am

we seriously need a "care" emoji for this thread!

20-06-2021 2:06am

You know what? **** off..you asked me to go to your party and I went and now you're giving out because I went there. I'm sick of you putting me in my 'place' all the time. Don't ****ing invite me if you don't want me to go.

Youre no fun. It's just stupid winning and losing to you which I never really held onto. Also you think I ever thought you'd stand by me? I always ****ing knew I was standing alone so no..I've never relied on you but ye you're right in what you said before I can take 'some beating' of that's something for you to brag about.

Jolene84 · 20-06-2021 2:31am

Lately all the years of living at home with you are playing in my mind and I realise that you only ever did your bit out of duty rather than love.
I hated bringing friends home because you treated the dogs better than me, and it hurt when I was at friends houses and their parents treated them with pride and love ðŸ˜”. You know I cant ever remember a time you were proud of me, and it wasn’t just me, it was T too…. I swear my kids will grow up knowing they are loved and appreciated every day. And not feel they are a hindrance.

I’ve hid these feelings for years but I can’t anymore.

sporina · 20-06-2021 9:49am

seriously mods, emojis need updating!

Bythefire · 20-06-2021 11:57am

Happy 1st Anniversary to you and her....less than 14 months after you were planning "our" future and picking names for "our" children. Thanks for completely destroying my trust in people.

Antares35 · 20-06-2021 3:58pm

I know you're probably feeling sorry for yourself today, it being Fathers day, but really you should have tried harder to have a bit of decency and consideration for me. Anyone can be a sperm donor, takes a lot more to be a dad. You're welcome to the child you've chosen over me, and this is game over as far as I'm concerned. You sided with my abuser, and that is an unforgivable act. You don't get to hide behind a position of neutrality.

I hope you cry into your potatoes and gravy every Sunday when you have him for dinner, thinking about the things you are missing out on with me and your two granddaughters. Just remember, it was your choice. It might not have been a choice you like, but a choice nonetheless.

sporina · 23-06-2021 2:00pm

if you don't know what your talking about its best to say nothing.. or just sympathise with me and give me some moral support.. I don't expect you to understand - and I am not saying that to be smart - but you always wanna lecture me - and you are just making me feel worse.. you can't advise me as you don't know what your talking about (no disrespect).. its as if you feel a need to constantly throw your opinion about.. I just want you to be there for me - to listen and support.. you ask me to talk to you - but then when I do this is what happens,. its counterproductive.. it makes me not wanna say anything at all

Antares35 · 23-06-2021 2:12pm

I'm disappointed but not surprised that you have chosen not to support me in seeking justice. All you had to do was agree to talk about your own experience and the fact that I disclosed certain things to you. Anyway, thankfully I have plenty of other people in my corner.

To be honest I have found our friendship really hard work over the last year or two. We just don't get each other anymore. Maybe that's why we drifted before. I'd been worried about inviting you to my wedding because every time you drink you go insane and attack the people closest to you. I knew you'd ruin my day and I was worried about how I would tell you that you're not welcome. Now I don't have to because I'm just cutting you off.

No drama or fighting, I know you'd love that because you're so bored right now. I'm just fading you out. By the time you've taken your head out of Instagram long enough to notice my silence, I'll be long gone and moved on.

I hope you find happiness and meet the person you are looking for, but I don't think you will until you stop treating people who care about you with absolute contempt and paranoia. Don't push people away when they show you love, concern and vulnerability. These are the jewels you should keep close to you. I think you will realise this too late, after you've pushed away everyone who cares about you

sporina · 23-06-2021 2:13pm

this thread is great - there is no way I could say this stuff to the relevant people.. its like we are speaking different languages at times :mad::(

Antares35 · 23-06-2021 2:23pm

sporina wrote: »

this thread is great - there is no way I could say this stuff to the relevant people.. its like we are speaking different languages at times :mad::(

I find it's great for saying stuff that you would normally want to say but can't because you would either get shouted down or drawn into tit for tat argument, or become too upset. It really helps to get a clear view on how we feel and the reasons why.

Airyfairy12 · 23-06-2021 7:08pm

It's actually not ok what you did! I know I said it was fine, at the time I meant it but the few things that happened afterwards, the connecting on social media & little messages to each other, im not fine with it at all, infact I distrust you now and tbh im angry, I had a nice little thing going and you had to ruin it! I know you were drunk & high but what you did was inexcusable and im not ok with it. I would never do that to you and if I did you would be a raging bull! Its always one rule for you and another for everyone else. Youre a control freak and just had to ruin this for me.

J - Im not even surprised, ive had such bad luck with boys & men since I started dating at age 12, youre just another disappointment on a list of many. I should never have gone to your house that night, I was really fooled by you, I actually thought you were a lovely person!

25-06-2021 12:56am

You always assume and think you know what I'm thinking or know what I mean..and it's always negative...even though I explained myself so many times.

sporina · 25-06-2021 11:10pm

Olivia2 wrote: »

You always assume and think you know what I'm thinking or know what I mean..and it's always negative...even though I explained myself so many times.

grr.. so arrogant - big hug

okiss · 26-06-2021 2:46pm

I was supprised to get a FB pm that turned into a conversation from you recently. Ever since the whole covid thing started I have been making the effort to keep in contact with you but it been hard work.
Even before then you met Paula about 2 years ago and since then you have spent less time with me. Your just so busy and had plenty of excuses. You lied to me and I caught you out on this. I also feel that your were bad mouthing me as well to Mary but I can't prove this. I met Mary recently and she said in a nice way that she had not seen you in a long time either.
So why are you back in contact with me? Is it because you and Paula had a fall out? Is it because Paula circumstances have changed because of the covid situation? Is it because you hit a bad patch and you need my help to get you through it?

Where were you in the past 18 months when it came to giving me a bit of support? The odd phone call or even meeting up in a local town when the lockdowns were not happening would have been nice. Even since the lockdown ended 7 weeks ago you have been ignoring me most of the time up to now. Do you remember when you were going through a horrible time a few years ago who was their for you? I listened to your problems and I never shared them with other people. I helped you out in other ways as well then.

I asked you when you contacted me to meet me. I have decided that this is your last chance with me. If you don't meet me by Y date I won't be making any more effort to keep in contact with you. I am not just going to be their when you hit a bad patch or when you need a wingman. I won't be used until till some one better in your eyes comes along either. I won't listen to you complain about X because X has been their for me far more than you have over the past 18 months.

Over the past 18 month's I have been making plans and doing things to improve my life that you don't know about. I won't be as available in the future as I was in the past with you.

Keisha07 · 29-06-2021 8:21pm

So i am not to be talked to because our sister is ill and will need support, as will our nieces and nephews, aren't you mighty holding on to a grudge when she needs us, jesus you havent an ounce of compassion. It was okay when i helped you though, you should hang your head.

18-07-2021 2:03am

So what if I change my mind alot 😛

jellybear · 06-08-2021 4:43pm

Please learn the rules of the road before beeping at me, getting all worked up and nearly causing an accident. Sometimes you just have to wait your turn, like everybody else does 🙄

Deja Boo · 11-08-2021 3:13am

GG, C'mon, seriously?! Do I really need more grief right now?! [shakes head]

15-08-2021 10:53am

You are doing great now and so what if you needed to blow off some steam.

Look after yourself xx

Deja Boo · 30-08-2021 9:04pm

According to your words today, then nothing you said or did in our yesterdays meant anything.

You had me fooled, right and truly. In quite the same way she has you fooled, ironic, isn't it?

[Love] is a tale, Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.

SaltSweatSugar · 01-09-2021 11:17pm

This is the second time you’ve dragged my job into your sh1tshow. Twice I’ve had phone calls from colleagues about you. It’s not fair. I’m finally getting to where I want to be at work, after 13 long years. I worked my ass off the past year to get this position and just today I accomplished another thing I’m proud of. Not that you would know seeing as you never ask.

Stop telling people what I do for a living. Do not drag my professional life into your mess. It’s not fair.

okiss · 05-09-2021 1:44am

Dear X,

I sent you a message which I should have sent to you long before now. Since the lockdown ended I have tried to meet up with you. I have asked you to call to my house and also tried to meet you elsewhere. I have got every excuse why you can't do this. I told you something a few weeks ago by message and you never even said to me I am sorry that happened. Even A asked me how that particular thing was going and was sorry when I told them what happened. A few weeks ago I had an important event that you just ignored. You said I will call to see you but then never made the effort. You could have said I will meet you once I get y sorted out and I would have accepted that.

I did nothing to deserve the reply you gave me. I know your not happy becuase I finally said in a nice way that I have had enough of you treating me badly. We both know I would not do the same to you. In fact when I think back you were lucky to have me as a friend a few years ago when you were going though a horrible time. Without my help back then you would have ended in a far worse situation. When was the last time you made some effort for me?

You then said you were going to suggest that we go to x. You just said that to me to paint yourself in a better light. You think I am just going to say sorry and let you continue to treat me like this. I will say sorry when I make a mistake but I wont accept you taking your bad form out on me.

I know your dealing with a lot at the moment. Being honest if you had listened to my advice in the past you would not be dealing with as much now. I will reply to what you sent me when I am ready and I will pull you up on certain things you said. My days of taking poor behaviour from other people are over. I won't hang around to be used either. So once I reply to that message you sent me your going to know exactly where you stand with me. I was willing to overlook and let certain things go in the past but this is no longer the case espically where you are concerned.

05-10-2021 5:41pm

Its almost time for my life to change again. It goes through these kind of cycles that are defined by other people. You were a huge part of my life and are no longer. New people have appeared. How are you? Well I hope. I was looking through photos on an old phone of mine. Do you remember that bonkers night in the Bull and Castle where we shared a table with an American couple. They didn't know what to make of us. Or that time you got kicked out of q lock in or that time... or do you remember when you said or we did...or..........I remember everything D. Everything is etched inside of me. If you turned me inside out you'd find all the memories. Not just of you but of them all.

My trips up North filled with hope. Smoking weed in a bedsit with incense burning. Drinking shots in a nightclub aged 30 feeling old. Watching a film in a town house south of the river. Sharing a bed with my pregnant best friend. In the bath clutching my knees wishing away the inevitable. Late night drive in shock. Numb. The world moving as one and me alone.

On and on it goes. It's a great privilege to be alive D and to face each year head on. You're still enjoying life I hope. Your mam and dad are keeping well? I was very very fond of them. Do you ever think of A? I do. I think about her broken heart. She was all in pieces that night. Another person gone.

Shure lookit it.

Turquoiseblu · 10-10-2021 11:15pm

i miss you every moment I don’t see you and miss you more every moment I do.

I wish I never found out you had feelings for me. I was never meant to fall in love with you. I was happy before I ever met you.

you deciding out of the blue, after months of working together and talking for hours every night, that you and I wouldn’t ever happen, broke my heart into a 1000 pieces and everytime I see you it’s like you stomp on my heart one more time to ensure it’s crushed.

And for god sake can you stop looking so hot 🔥

kittyc2018 · 11-10-2021 5:27pm

You sold me a dream of something that you had no intention of following through and made me believe we had something special, when in reality I was nothing but a rebound.

Now a friendship is in tatters and my walls are back up again higher than ever. I hate myself for letting myself be vunerable with you because underneath my whole I dont give a f* persona im quite soft really.

sporina · 13-10-2021 11:24pm

I now realise that you have NO CONSCIENCE.. you are just nasty.. heartless.. tried reasoning with you for the sake of others, and what to you do, you go and inflict more pain on people.. you are full of badness.. I use to feel sorry for you and make excuses for your ill behaviour - well no more.. at least I see you for who you really are now and know that there is no point ever trying to get you to be reasonable..

Things you want to say to husband/boyf/ex's/friends/family/people *MOD NOTE POST #1*

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Things you want to say to husband/boyf/ex's/friends/family/people MOD NOTE POST #1