Kids in coffee shops - yay or nay

05-09-2021 8:42pm #1

Simple question - have you any issue with taking small kids into coffee shops?

I always have taken mine and have never had any issues as my one and two-year-old can normally stay in their seats and tend not to disturb anyone.

Today, we headed to our local Costa at 10am as it was raining and we needed to get out of the house after a stressful week on a number of fronts.

Normally lots of families and kids in there but it was still early and so was quiet.

One lady in 60s near us reading a paper and man in his 60s/70s arrived and sat near us.

Kids were fine for first 15 minutes but one year old got antsy and wanted out of the high seat. The man started getting antsy himself and started staring and flapping his paper.

I took her out and we walked around to see if that would settle her. She didn't go near anyone.

Then the two paper readers, who didn't know each other, started exchanging audible comments about the suitability of the place for kids. The male started huffing about it not being a creche, and the lady said we had arrived at the wrong place at the wrong time. They were both very put out.

As it happens, we had decided to make our escape already as I am always conscious of disturbing others. But I couldn't leave without walking past the man and saying pointedly that I hoped he could read his paper in peace now. I also said the library was just up the road if he needed quietness. He seemed shocked that I challenged him and nearly fell off his chair.

My two year old asked if we could stay as he was happy out and my wife said we had to go as there were some ignorant people in the shop. Both heard her pointed comment.

Anyway, who's right and who's wrong in this situation?

I ask here as I know if I ask in a parenting forum I'll probably just get one perspective.

Princess Calla · 05-09-2021 8:55pm

Other people's kids are annoying :) but they are part and parcel of life.

It's costa so not exactly fine dining and complaining about kids /young families is kinda like complaining about teenagers in macdonalds.

They both sound like grumpy old people I think fair play to you for saying something I wouldn't have the guts.

05-09-2021 8:57pm

Tell them if you have something to say to me then say it and then tell them to **** off, if they don't like it leave.

spurious · 05-09-2021 8:58pm

Coffee shops, restaurants, supermarkets, garden centres, DIY shops, concerts, trains, buses, circuses, no problem if they can behave themselves and not disturb other customers, or the parents have the cop on to remove them if they can't.

05-09-2021 9:04pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117850987#Comment_117850987

There kids, if the noise of a child annoys you then your probably a prick in my book.

Drake66 · 05-09-2021 9:05pm

I always take mine into coffee shops and she always causes chaos eventually. I dont care though. If anyone says anything they can go whistle. I had to put up with noisy kids when I was working in shops etc years ago. It's payback time now

BENDYBINN · 05-09-2021 9:10pm

Some people think their toddler is a godsend to mankind...

Galwayguy35 · 05-09-2021 9:17pm

No issue here and most people will try to calm their kid down if they go off on one so other customers won't be disturbed.

It's the selfish parents who think everyone else has to suffer their kid running riot that are a pain in the hole.

looksee · 05-09-2021 9:42pm

Of course kids can be in coffee shops and the like, and the vast majority are no disturbance to anyone - a small baby in a high chair eating - or failing to eat - cake and grinning gummily at the world can be very entertaining. Problems only arise when parents make no effort to mind their kids, let them run riot around the place while absorbed in their chat or their phone. There is a lot of difference between a toddler having a toddler type meltdown and kids who are old enough to know better being allowed to play chase round the tables.

A cafe isn't a playground, kids have loads of energy so take them to the playground and let them run some of it off before expecting them to be peaceable in a cafe. People are entitled to have a quiet cuppa and a chat, just as parents are entitled to bring in kids, but there has to be a bit of consideration on all sides.

Strumms · 05-09-2021 10:14pm

unless the kids are constantly bawling, running amok or throwing sugar cubes I don’t mind kids just being kids and being a bit loud... if it was a case they were (which they weren’t) being an obvious nuisance in the manner I’ve described or similar and there was no effort to calm them by the parents or guardian then do the decent thing, finish your drink and bye bye.... every situation is different.

John_Rambo · 05-09-2021 10:14pm

You're always going to get people in cheap coffee shops and cheap Ryanair flights that think they're at the opera or a Swan Lake ballet. These people are usually the ones that didn't grow up going to cafe's, restaurants or foreign holidays and think because they're paying they're entitled to five star treatment and a zen like ambiance. Unfortunately for them, they're just normal people in normal places surrounded by other normal people.

If they want peace and quiet they have to chose their cafe's better. Costa at 10am isn't a good choice for this lot, but they don't know any better.

Leilak · 05-09-2021 10:34pm

Nobody is entitled to peace and quiet, no matter where you go there will always be people young and old. Coffee Shops are for everyone, if children act up then so be it, we can make a choice to stay or leave, personally I wouldnt have a problem with it as i said people are people

Mrs OBumble · 05-09-2021 11:18pm

If you want to take your progeny out, and they cannot behave, then do the decent thing and stick to places built for children, McDonalds and the like.

Sonics2k · 05-09-2021 11:21pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117851551#Comment_117851551

It's a one year old child. OP can take their kids and themselves to any cafe and it's fine.

ben.schlomo · 05-09-2021 11:26pm

Absolutely bring em. Our lad, 3, loves going for a babycino and is always fine. If he has a whinge we figure it out there and then. Don't think we've ever had to leave anywhere with him due to any behavior. If you want a quiet place to read a newspaper then choose more wisely.

05-09-2021 11:46pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117851551#Comment_117851551

If you want to be a miserable old fucker, stay at home and away from the general public.

poisonated · 05-09-2021 11:54pm

Something I just realised a couple of weeks ago was a thing was a baby chino. It is frothed milk with chocolate powder on top. Are any of you familiar with this or do I just have odd friends? Haha

GingerLily · 06-09-2021 12:05am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117851647#Comment_117851647

They have puppachinos now too, just whipped cream I believe 🤣

06-09-2021 7:03am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117851052#Comment_117851052

Ha, I'm definitely not one of those people!

06-09-2021 7:04am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117851551#Comment_117851551

I was expecting more responses like this!

06-09-2021 7:11am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117851647#Comment_117851647

My two year old had a small cup of frothed milk. They asked did he want chocolate and marshmallows, which we didn't, and described it as a babychino. I'm not sure they even charged. The small lad was delighted as he felt like he had his own coffee like his parents.

ohnohedidnt · 06-09-2021 7:16am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058207524/kids-in-coffee-shops-yay-or-nay

Cheeky b@stard, the poor kids were locked up for a year so he could survive long enough to drink his coffee, then he has the nerve to say they shouldn't be there.

Ask the coffee shops what kind of business they'd prefer, the families come in and out, buying coffee's, pastries, baby chino's, fruit. Or the person who buys a single cup of coffee and sits over it for an hour.

06-09-2021 7:20am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117851975#Comment_117851975

Ha, I wasn't going to bring up this side of it but I have to say it did cross my mind. Ordinarily when it rains we'd have gone to a local soft play centre which has a coffee area for parents but they are still all closed due to Covid.

bee06 · 06-09-2021 7:21am

My 3.5 year old loves a babycino. It’s a prerequisite of the playground visit now.

I have a 3.5 year old and a 1.5 year old. We don’t regularly go into coffee shops but I’d have no problem taking them in as long as they are behaving themselves. Once we give them something to eat they are both happy to sit down. Running around or shouting means we leave but it’s never actually happened. How can you teach them how to behave in public if you never take them anywhere they need to behave.

ohnohedidnt · 06-09-2021 7:32am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117851985#Comment_117851985

I think you were dead right to handle it the way you did, well done. The coffee is usually terrible in those soft play places, go wherever suits you, parents are the coffee shops bread and butter, that's why the sell juices, and kids chocolate lollies, and baby chinos and stuff. Its not like you wandered into an old man pub.

06-09-2021 9:02am

Yes of course, OP. Coffee shops are for everyone of all ages, except Capricorns.

Hurrache · 06-09-2021 9:09am

Tell them to go **** themselves. I saw a similar situation a couple of years ago. Family with 2 young kids on a Sunday afternoon and 3 oul fuckers sitting not too far away, a young adult and his two parents. Kids weren't misbehaving, just beings kids. But when the grumpy oul shites got their bill they whinged about kids being in the place. The manager looked a bit surprised but told them it's a family premises and they're more than happy to serve families. The father of the kids heard them complain and asked them why didn't they have the balls to say something to him instead of bitching now about him and his family to someone else. One the of idiots in the group started hissing!

To top it off, the manager went over to the family and apologised and told them they'd be happy to have them back again.

Wheety · 06-09-2021 9:25am

You should have asked one of the workers, loud enough so the 2 miserable bags would hear you, "Is it ok to have kids in here?". When they say "Of course", give the 2 yokes daggers. 😀

Hangdogroad · 06-09-2021 9:31am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117851575#Comment_117851575

Babycino?

daheff · 06-09-2021 9:42am

did the store have a sign saying "no children allowed" ? No, well then its fine to bring them into the cafe.

for your part, you are then to keep them under control so as not to cause a disturbance to others (ie kids shouting running around like mad or throwing a tantrum).

from what you have posted, you have behaved responsibly and are 100% in the right in my view.

Kids don't learn how to behave in public if they never get to experience being in public. Its a part of growing up.

daheff · 06-09-2021 9:42am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117852291#Comment_117852291

small foamy milk drink. might get lucky and have hot chocolate thrown in

irishgrover · 06-09-2021 9:48am

if you are welcome in the establishment by the management then everyone else can **** off..... simples

06-09-2021 10:05am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117851975#Comment_117851975

What an incredibly nasty thing to say - or think.

mistress_gi · 06-09-2021 10:14am

As a childless middle age grump 😂 i think kids should be allowed everywhere as long as the parents are minding them. It's the lack of parental supervision that annoys me.

If we keep kids away ftom all these places how will they get used to being in public? I really think we are in risk of creating of a whole generation that can't behave in public! And that would just be a real shame....

notAMember · 06-09-2021 10:27am

It's a cafe we're talking about here, right? Not a strip-show?

DoctorEdgeWild · 06-09-2021 10:32am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117852557#Comment_117852557

Hi, have you got an address for this coffee shop strip show? Very interested.

murpho999 · 06-09-2021 10:33am

No issue with kids being in coffee shops as long as people look after them.

Lately you say families allow kids use phones and tablets with sounds of games coming out of the speakers which is very annoying and anti social. Apart from that you can't complain about kids being kids.

06-09-2021 10:37am

Nay. Kids, especially toddlers, don't enjoy coffee shops, and neither do their parents, be honest.

listermint · 06-09-2021 10:41am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117851551#Comment_117851551

These kids will be paying for your retirement. Have a bit more respect. You probably believe you are paying for your own social security into old age. News flash you ain't ! Your a drain on the system and the system is and will be propped up by those youngsters running around .

High time people started living in the real world.

06-09-2021 10:44am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117852607#Comment_117852607

Let's all bow down to our future overlords?

Who cares that they grow up in a society built by their elders? We paid for their birth and medical and child benefit expenses.

listermint · 06-09-2021 10:48am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117852617#Comment_117852617

Pales in comparison sunshine. Pales.

HildaOgdenx · 06-09-2021 10:55am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117851080#Comment_117851080

I agree. Nobody expects perfect peace and quiet in a coffee shop, or if they do, they are being unrealistic.

It's a pain though if people allow their kids to run around, and get in the way, especially of staff, who may be carrying trays of hot drinks.

Or, as I saw recently, a dad encouraging a small child, to shriek at top volume, in response to some game the dad started playing. The child was perfectly happy before that just sitting in a high chair, eating, and talking at normal volume.

Oh and one more thing, don't do the OTT top of voice 'YOU LIKE MILKSHAKES DON'T YOU, SAM, TELL THE LADY YOU WANT A MILKSHAKE ...' shush!

Piollaire · 06-09-2021 10:58am

This isn't about kids, it's about how you deal with rude people. You let them get into your head so much that you had to have a confrontation. You let them ruin your morning. You just have to laugh to yourself at stuffy old grumps like them.

Alternatively leave a dirty nappy on their table as a gift of appreciation.

Wilmol · 06-09-2021 10:59am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117852631#Comment_117852631

Warning: angry breeder alert!

Wilmol · 06-09-2021 11:01am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117851020#Comment_117851020

What a ridiculous comment. Majority of people are annoyed by kids shrieking and that is by design! the screams are piercing and extremely annoying as an alarm that the child need their needs met.

Mr_Muffin · 06-09-2021 11:02am

Yes. It's a coffee shop, not a nightclub.

listermint · 06-09-2021 11:03am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117852678#Comment_117852678

Angry at the world outside of themselves. Awe bless. Maybe someone will give you a hug ? Maybe...

Princess Calla · 06-09-2021 11:12am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117852450#Comment_117852450

It's not really, just basic economics.

One person on their own supping away for an hour maybe spending €7 , or a group of four spending €28/30 and maybe spending 30-45 mins there.....ages don't matter just the numbers.

Like when a staff member comes over asking can they get you anything else, that's the polite way of saying your time is up move along or spend more money.

lawred2 · 06-09-2021 11:14am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058207524/kids-in-coffee-shops-yay-or-nay

They are wrong. Good for you for not letting it slide. If they want to read in silence either head to the library or stay at home.

Fu(king hate miserable anti social people like that. Everywhere should be an extension of their private space because they are so self important.

SonicHook · 06-09-2021 11:14am

Victor Meldrew is alive and well.

Take your kids where you see fit. Sometimes they might need reining in but that's part and parcel of teaching them social skills.

My wife was in a café with the kids one day and they were laughing and messing. An older man came up to them and my wife thought he was going to complain. He told her it was lovely to hear the laughter of children and handed her a fiver to get them a treat.

spurious · 06-09-2021 11:14am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117851020#Comment_117851020

Read what I wrote again. There seem to be a lot here ready to hop without reason. Pricks, probably.

Kids in coffee shops - yay or nay

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