I'm bi and I dont support the LGBTQ movement because I dont like the Q word

VENEATS · 25-06-2021 10:18pm #1

I have had a few experiences (around 4) with the Q word, from people I cherish to drunks/homophobes on streets etc. In the majority of these times both the Q word and F word were used.

I'm bi. I support LGBT people. I support non binary etc. I support how the Q people define themselves. But I dont support the term used to define them. Do whatever you want as long as it doesnt, meaningfully, effect me or others, is my motto.

However the Q word, just like the F word, does affect me. Unlike many, I think the Q word is worse than the F word. Everytime I hear either the word or LGBTQ, it does bring me back to some of those moments. That may be selfish but that's my opinion. It offends me when RTE publish a story about a bi person and name it "Queer stories". I'm, currently, in a relationship with a woman and it insults me when Stonewall etc call my relationship a Q - word relationship.

To me, it's a slur. I never agreed to "reclaim" it. I know it's meant to be an umbrella term but I dont see why we couldnt use a different umbrella term... I'm not looking to be lectured. I understand the concept... it just doesnt sit right with me.

EDIT: I've realised what question I'm looking to be answered?

The Q word is a barrier for me to support LGBT movements/Stonewall/Pride etc. Right now, I dont support them. If anything, i dislike them (not the people). That dislike makes me feel, a little, like a traitor! How do you view my stance?

gmisk · 25-06-2021 10:20pm

You're entitled to feel how you want about the word.
Context is key for me, it's not a word I would use personally though.

VENEATS · 25-06-2021 10:25pm

gmisk wrote: »

You're entitled to feel how you want about the word.
Context is key for me, it's not a word I would use personally though.

Absolutely, but the other side is I do want to support LGBTQ people, but not supporting the movement or Stonewall or Pride who do use that word, makes me feel a hypocrite and a traitor. (Maybe not the right word).

gmisk · 25-06-2021 10:44pm

VENEATS wrote: »

Absolutely, but the other side is I do want to support LGBT people, but not supporting the movement or Stonewall or Pride who do use that word, makes me feel a hypocrite and a traitor. (Maybe not the right word).

Do you mind that other people identify as the Q word?
As I said I wouldn't use that word myself, I am guessing sub consciously at least it will always generally seem like a slur to me (unless in very certain circumstances).
I think you can support stonewall or pride without being a huge fan of the Q word personally.

VENEATS · 25-06-2021 10:51pm

gmisk wrote: »

Do you mind that other people identify as the Q word?
As I said I wouldn't use that word myself, I am guessing sub consciously at least it will always generally seem like a slur to me (unless in very certain circumstances).
I think you can support stonewall or pride without being a huge fan of the Q word personally.

Tbh, I dont like the word being used full stop. I think the term genderqueer is ok, perhaps because it's preceded by gender.

But I do see the q word as a slur (even if I know the intent/meaning) and when stonewall uses the word to describe me, i see that as them using that slur. I dont see how I could respect/support them when they dont respect me or my opinion. (Selfish, I know). If I thought LGBT people had an issue with the word bisexual (not the people but the term) I would want it changed.

And just for anyone who does read this. My issue is with the word. I dont dislike the people. I think that is a clear distinction. Normally when I say I dont support pride, people think I'm -phobic in some way.

eviltwin · 25-06-2021 11:00pm

A lot of younger people haven’t got the context of it being a slur because they haven’t grown up with it being used that way. And if they feel it represents them so be it. LGBT is very narrow, it doesn’t describe me so I use Q if I ever feel the need to. I’m old enough to remember being called that word as a slur but it’s lost it’s power to hurt now it’s been reclaimed but that’s just me. I can understand why some people don’t like it.

VENEATS · 25-06-2021 11:09pm

eviltwin wrote: »

A lot of younger people haven’t got the context of it being a slur because they haven’t grown up with it being used that way. And if they feel it represents them so be it. LGBT is very narrow, it doesn’t describe me so I use Q if I ever feel the need to. I’m old enough to remember being called that word as a slur but it’s lost it’s power to hurt now it’s been reclaimed but that’s just me. I can understand why some people don’t like it.

Thanks for commenting.. my point is if it is too narrow then use a word that broadens it that wasnt a slur. I'm bisexual but I think if some LGBT people had a genuine issue with the term bisexual (because it was used as a slur) I'd want it changed...

I dont like it full stop, but at the very least call yourself the q-word but dont include all of us. (By you, I'm not meaning you personally. You seem very respectful.) My relationship, because I'm bi, is not q. But it is to certain prides and stonewall... I find offence in that. And, to me, (and I know its irrational) people using the q word, to describe me, whether its stonewall or the few dudes jeering outside a pub are all the same.

And I'm not trying to discourage people from living a life that best reflects them. If you dont think the main acronym describes you, I'm all for you finding one that does.

Lastly, the f word, to me, is not as bad as the Q. I still wouldnt call someone that. The p word means nothing at all to me and, yet, I still wouldnt use it.

eviltwin · 25-06-2021 11:15pm

VENEATS wrote: »

Thanks for commenting.. my point is if it is too narrow then use a word that broadens it that wasnt a slur. I'm bisexual but I think if some LGBT people had a genuine issue with the term bisexual (because it was used as a slur) I'd want it changed...

I dont like it full stop, but at the very least call yourself the q-word but dont include all of us. (By you, I'm not meaning you personally. You seem very respectful.) My relationship, because I'm bi, is not q. But it is to certain prides and stonewall... I find offence in that. I didnt think their goal was to offend.

If you’re bisexual you already have representation in the B. I don’t really put a label on myself but I’m not straight or LGBT so I need something that covers me as do all the many other groups out there. If you don’t like Q what do you do? Replace it with something new or just alienate people by leaving it off? I do get what you are saying but it has to represent everyone too.

VENEATS · 25-06-2021 11:25pm

eviltwin wrote: »

If you’re bisexual you already have representation in the B. I don’t really put a label on myself but I’m not straight or LGBT so I need something that covers me as do all the many other groups out there. If you don’t like Q what do you do? Replace it with something new or just alienate people by leaving it off? I do get what you are saying but it has to represent everyone too.

As per Stonewall UK and many other sources, a bi person in a relationship with a person that is not bi (so either gay, lesbian or straight), which I am, is in a Q relationship. A bi person involved with a bi person is in a bi relationship.

Replace the term, is what I'd expect. I certainly would want to replace the term bisexual, if it offended some LGBT (because they got that as a slur). To me, bisexual is only the term to describe my identity. I could find a new term to express my attraction of both women and men. I accept all people who dont fit the LGBT mould. And I think the addition to the acronym is great to see

In simplest form, if I didnt fit the LGBT acronym nor the Q, I would define my identity or keep it broad but I would never consider calling it the F word or P-word. It's about respect.

When RTE calls it "Queer stories" and they have a bi man recounting his journey, he may be ok with that term but RTE have pushed the idea that calling bi people the Q word is ok?

And I've tried to make clear in every post. When anyone stands up and tells the world who they are, that's a great moment. I fully accept and respect others. I dont think the term is respectful, though.

I used to be very overweight. I had no issue with the word fat. I wouldnt call others fat, though, because I understood the baggage of that term.

And I'm sounding like a right dickhead, but I'm not trying to be, but I have started to really dislike the movements (not the people) because of it.

Heebie · 26-06-2021 5:36pm

Where I grew up... in one of the cradles of the gay rights movement in the united States, the Q stands for "questioning" as in anyone who's bothering to think about their sexuality instead of assuming what it is.

I have no idea who started the whole idea of that meaning "qu***" instead. It's not nearly as poignant.

Still, there's nothing wrong with the 5-letter Q word as long as it's us using it to describe ourselves. For some people, that weird feels more "correct" in describing themselves and how they feel. Condemning the whole movement because some people prefer that word, is disingenuous to all those people, and excludes them from our community. Exclusion is not cool.

iffandonlyif · 26-06-2021 5:44pm

Are we seriously calling it the Q-word?

Beechwoodspark · 26-06-2021 5:47pm

There was a guy on the radio yesterday on Kathryn Thomas show using the q word at every opportunity he got.

I feel it is a term of abuse and should not be used.

I would consider myself to be an ally of the “non straight community” and yet I shudder internally when I hear it personally.

The DayDream · 26-06-2021 5:48pm

I always thought it was kinda like the N word, as in it's not offensive when used amongst members of the group to refer to themselves or others in the group but not cool for outsiders to use it.

Annasopra · 26-06-2021 7:50pm

I used to hate it because I was bullied with it many times. Now I really dont mind it at all. A lot of people call themselves queer and thats absolutely fine by me.

I feel it is a term of abuse and should not be used.

I would consider myself to be an ally of the “non straight community” and yet I shudder internally when I hear it personally.

I disagree about it being a term of abuse. It really depends on the context. It can be used in an abusive context and a non abusive context.

VENEATS · 26-06-2021 8:50pm

Heebie wrote: »

Where I grew up... in one of the cradles of the gay rights movement in the united States, the Q stands for "questioning" as in anyone who's bothering to think about their sexuality instead of assuming what it is.

I have no idea who started the whole idea of that meaning "qu***" instead. It's not nearly as poignant.

Still, there's nothing wrong with the 5-letter Q word as long as it's us using it to describe ourselves. For some people, that weird feels more "correct" in describing themselves and how they feel. Condemning the whole movement because some people prefer that word, is disingenuous to all those people, and excludes them from our community. Exclusion is not cool.

I'm not excluding the people. I dont like the term and I think the term should be replaced..

My big issue is these movements (pride, Stonewall etc) would consider my relationship a q one. And when rte have "queer stories" and it's a story about a bi man. I think that gives licence to others to call bi people, like myself, the word too.

VENEATS · 26-06-2021 8:52pm

Annasopra wrote: »

I used to hate it because I was bullied with it many times. Now I really dont mind it at all. A lot of people call themselves queer and thats absolutely fine by me.

I disagree about it being a term of abuse. It really depends on the context. It can be used in an abusive context and a non abusive context.

Thanks for your opinion. I know the intent may not be there, but it's a word that, for me, brings back memories.

VENEATS · 26-06-2021 8:56pm

iffandonlyif wrote: »

Are we seriously calling it the Q-word?

Yes. That's what I call it, anyway. When you have heard that every day after I came out. E.g. dont be a q---. When I got engaged to a woman last year, my dad said thank god your not a q--- anymore. When I left GAA after coming out because of two team members that used that slur, at me. To the guys outside a pub who jeered the q word at me and my first bf. Throwing the end of pints at us, to intimidating us so much that we power walked as quickly as we could...

So yes, I'll call it the q word. Seriously.

Annasopra · 26-06-2021 11:21pm

VENEATS wrote: »

Thanks for your opinion. I know the intent may not be there, but it's a word that, for me, brings back memories.

I have a lot of memories too. I've more or less let go now though. Thats the thing: the intent in its use by many who describe themselves as queer is never to abuse or insult others.

VENEATS · 27-06-2021 9:48am

Annasopra wrote: »

I have a lot of memories too. I've more or less let go now though. Thats the thing: the intent in its use by many who describe themselves as queer is never to abuse or insult others.

And that's great that you have let it go. It's not as easy for others, I suppose, like myself.

If no malicious intent was there can people call me the f-word?

Annasopra · 27-06-2021 10:26am

VENEATS wrote: »

And that's great that you have let it go. It's not as easy for others, I suppose, like myself.

If no malicious intent was there can people call me the f-word?

To be fair people can say whatever they want. For me its about the context of what people say. The meaning of words can have different meanings and contexts.

VENEATS · 27-06-2021 4:24pm

Annasopra wrote: »

To be fair people can say whatever they want. For me its about the context of what people say. The meaning of words can have different meanings and contexts.

I never said they couldn't but out of respect I wouldnt use the word f. It's about respect. Are movements being respectful by calling my relationship a word, I think, is a slur. Nope, imo. And i dont know how to support a movement that is, in my view, disrespectful.

Annasopra · 27-06-2021 7:02pm

VENEATS wrote: »

I never said they couldn't but out of respect I wouldnt use the word f. It's about respect. Are movements being respectful by calling my relationship a word, I think, is a slur. Nope, imo. And i dont know how to support a movement that is, in my view, disrespectful.

I dont think it is disrepectful because it is being used in a different context and stituation than that of being a slur.

...Ghost... · 28-06-2021 12:07am

VENEATS wrote: »

Yes. That's what I call it, anyway. When you have heard that every day after I came out. E.g. dont be a q---. When I got engaged to a woman last year, my dad said thank god your not a q--- anymore. When I left GAA after coming out because of two team members that used that slur, at me. To the guys outside a pub who jeered the q word at me and my first bf. Throwing the end of pints at us, to intimidating us so much that we power walked as quickly as we could...

So yes, I'll call it the q word. Seriously.

It's sh1tty that ignorant @rseholes made your life hard because of your sexual identity. I despise that sort of behaviour.

I agree with you the the Q word is a pretty nasty one and while some have "reclaimed" it, it's not a nice word to use. Does the "+" not cover everything beyond LGBT anyway?

VENEATS · 28-06-2021 1:51am

Annasopra wrote: »

I dont think it is disrepectful because it is being used in a different context and stituation than that of being a slur.

That's your opinion, and I fully respect it. But from my point of view, it is hugely disrespectful and I will dislike anyone that uses that word esp in regards to my sexuality

VENEATS · 28-06-2021 1:57am

...Ghost... wrote: »

It's sh1tty that ignorant @rseholes made your life hard because of your sexual identity. I despise that sort of behaviour.

I agree with you the the Q word is a pretty nasty one and while some have "reclaimed" it, it's not a nice word to use. Does the "+" not cover everything beyond LGBT anyway?

From my own experience LGBT+ seems to be gone. It's usually either LGBTQ+ or LGBTI+.

And I want to reiterate that I dont dislike the people who use the term to describe them. Be whoever you are... but dont call me it. I'm a bi man. When I'm with a woman I'm a bi man in a straight relationship. When I'm with a gay man, I'm in a gay relationship. You would think that would be simple to understand... apparently not. There is huge push to calling it Q relationships.

SourSessions · 28-06-2021 1:59am

What, I wonder, is the solution to this? I can't see the community/movement in general switching to a different word at this point (not that they shouldn't, just I don't see enough people or the right people being convinced of it)

I wouldn't be too fond of queer myself. Definitely not a word I use to describe myself but most of my friends would use it freely. I find myself self-correcting myself into saying it instead of lgbt in their presence but I just don't seem to resonate with the word the same way they all do.

28-06-2021 2:10am

I'm a fairly straight male myself, so don't dabble much in the world of gay/pride/lgbt/etc. but do some people not use Q as "questioned" or "questioning" or something like that? (as in someone unsure about what they're into?)

Maybe I'm making that up, and it's all in my imagination, but i definitely feel like i've heard it somewhere before.

SourSessions · 28-06-2021 2:13am

Deleted User wrote:

Maybe I'm making that up, and it's all in my imagination, but i definitely feel like i've heard it somewhere before.

There was a time when you heard that interchangeably but it pretty much ubiquitously stands for queer these days.

Annasopra · 28-06-2021 8:03am

VENEATS wrote: »

That's your opinion, and I fully respect it. But from my point of view, it is hugely disrespectful and I will dislike anyone that uses that word esp in regards to my sexuality

But the point is its not used in a disrespectful way. Thats not merely just my opinion.

lawrencesummers · 28-06-2021 8:17am

Whatever happened to sticks and stones….

L1011 · 28-06-2021 8:34am

lawrencesummers wrote: »

Whatever happened to sticks and stones….

Remains as useless and inaccurate as it ever was

28-06-2021 8:40am

When the knuckle draggers were calling people queer as a pejorative I don't think they were being nuanced as to the exact meaning. So, don't let them continue to have a hold over you. Certainly not to the point of not supporting the community as a whole (per the OP).

While some see LGBT as inclusive enough, others don't. Q doesn't describe you, but neither does the L.

I'm straight (don't like CIS, would never call myself that), when I was growing up, possibly because I was baby faced and didn't dress like 'the hards' I was called gay and a F. I'll admit, this hurt me as a young teenager. But, I only think of those losers when I see posts like this. I'll never like the Neanderthals, but I don't have a negative Pavlovian response to the word gay.

joeguevara · 28-06-2021 8:41am

Does the Q generally refer to ‘questioning’ or the controversial descriptor that you refer to?

BigLoser · 28-06-2021 8:46am

Context is key. Nowadays most folk aren’t saying it to offend.

...Ghost... · 28-06-2021 9:21am

VENEATS wrote: »

From my own experience LGBT+ seems to be gone. It's usually either LGBTQ+ or LGBTI+.

And I want to reiterate that I dont dislike the people who use the term to describe them. Be whoever you are... but dont call me it. I'm a bi man. When I'm with a woman I'm a bi man in a straight relationship. When I'm with a gay man, I'm in a gay relationship. You would think that would be simple to understand... apparently not. There is huge push to calling it Q relationships.

Honestly, there are too many letters being added. LGBT+ was more than enough. By the time every sexual identity is covered, we will have covered the alphabet three times over as well as some of the Greek letters.

I'm a straight male and I dislike the word Cis to describe my sexuality by the movement. No self-respecting straight person uses, or likes the term, but the movement seem to insist (disrespectfully) to use the term.

I'm glad to see you're not drinking the kool aid have voiced your problem with what I personally saw as an offensive word to integrate into the alphabet soup. I don't know what the "I" stands for and won't bring myself to google it either. It's just gotten ridiculous at this stage.

Annasopra wrote: »

But the point is its not used in a disrespectful way. Thats not merely just my opinion.

These days, the intent of a word/phrase doesn't matter. It's whether or not someone takes offense. The woke academy have been making strides to enshrining this into law.

BigLoser wrote: »

Context is key. Nowadays most folk aren’t saying it to offend.

True. But some words carry a lot of weight for people and queer is full of potential harm. It's not like describing someone (jokingly) as a cúnt or a b0llix which can apply to everyone equally. Queer was and still is used as a slur to cause hurt and to isolate and target someone based solely on their sexuality or perceived sexuality.

I recall many years ago, my brother was wearing white trousers in the 90s. Some dull sh1te called him a panzy as we walked by the bus stop. My brother asked the guy what he said and I remember clear as it was yesterday, he said "nice trousers; ye queer". He probably figured that being about a foot taller than my brother that he could get away with it. He didn't though. Queer and Panzy were used as sexual identity slurs to cause hurt and offense to straight and non-straight people. I haven't seen "P" used in the alphabet soup...is it a term covered by "+"?

ELM327 · 28-06-2021 9:24am

You identify as bi, and theres a B there. Others identify as queer and there's a Q there.

Bannasidhe · 28-06-2021 1:38pm

...Ghost... wrote: »

I'm a straight male and I dislike the word Cis to describe my sexuality by the movement. No self-respecting straight person uses, or likes the term, but the movement seem to insist (disrespectfully) to use the term.

True. But some words carry a lot of weight for people and queer is full of potential harm. It's not like describing someone (jokingly) as a cúnt or a b0llix which can apply to everyone equally. Queer was and still is used as a slur to cause hurt and to isolate and target someone based solely on their sexuality or perceived sexuality.

'Cis' has absolutely nothing to do with sexual orientation.
Zero.
So no-one is using it to describe your sexuality.
It means your gender identity aligns with your biological.

I am cis - I am also Queer.

A word I have used to describe my sexual orientation since the early 1980s and will continue to use. I will also use dyke.
I use these terms because back in the day 'lesbian' was often connected to 'feminist' and/or 'separatist' - and while I may align with the former on many things (not all) I never will be a separatist.

I still call myself Queer as that is what I am. A good old fashioned queer dyke who could never in a million years be mistaken for straight.

And to be absolutely frank about it I don't care what a straight man thinks. I will define myself how I want - and extend the same curtesy to you, even when you appear confused about what words mean.

SourSessions · 28-06-2021 2:56pm

I don't think the word queer itself is the problem, it's using it as a catch-all phrase when some people really don't like it or want it used it relation to themselves.

...Ghost... · 28-06-2021 3:53pm

Bannasidhe wrote: »

'Cis' has absolutely nothing to do with sexual orientation.
Zero.
So no-one is using it to describe your sexuality.
It means your gender identity aligns with your biological.

I am cis - I am also Queer.

A word I have used to describe my sexual orientation since the early 1980s and will continue to use. I will also use dyke.
I use these terms because back in the day 'lesbian' was often connected to 'feminist' and/or 'separatist' - and while I may align with the former on many things (not all) I never will be a separatist.

I still call myself Queer as that is what I am. A good old fashioned queer dyke who could never in a million years be mistaken for straight.

And to be absolutely frank about it I don't care what a straight man thinks. I will define myself how I want - and extend the same curtesy to you, even when you appear confused about what words mean.

Seeing the phrase "Cis white male" had me believe (wrongly) that it was connected to sexual orientation. To be frank, there are so many terms flying around, one can be excused for not having them all memorised.

I don't care what you call yourself, be it dyke, queer or whatever else you deem to be preferable to you. Just don't expect everyone to see those terms in the same light as you, as can be seen in the OP.

If you don't care what a "straight man thinks", then I don't know why you bothered quoting me and going off on a rant. The first line was enough. The last paragraph said more. I personally wouldn't be judging a person based on their sex and sexual orientation, but rather on their speech and actions. Crazy idea, I know.:rolleyes:

Bannasidhe · 28-06-2021 4:30pm

...Ghost... wrote: »

Seeing the phrase "Cis white male" had me believe (wrongly) that it was connected to sexual orientation. To be frank, there are so many terms flying around, one can be excused for not having them all memorised.

I don't care what you call yourself, be it dyke, queer or whatever else you deem to be preferable to you. Just don't expect everyone to see those terms in the same light as you, as can be seen in the OP.

If you don't care what a "straight man thinks", then I don't know why you bothered quoting me and going off on a rant. The first line was enough. The last paragraph said more. I personally wouldn't be judging a person based on their sex and sexual orientation, but rather on their speech and actions. Crazy idea, I know.:rolleyes:

Ok - so in the forum dedicated to LGBT when someone who identifies a Queer takes the time to explain the reasons why, and is honest in saying the opinion of a straight man who doesn't know his cis from his gay is utterly not relevant to me I'm 'going off on a rant'.

Well pardon me for never caring what straight people think about how I identify for the last 40 years.

...Ghost... · 28-06-2021 7:56pm

Bannasidhe wrote: »

Ok - so in the forum dedicated to LGBT when someone who identifies a Queer takes the time to explain the reasons why, and is honest in saying the opinion of a straight man who doesn't know his cis from his gay is utterly not relevant to me I'm 'going off on a rant'.

Well pardon me for never caring what straight people think about how I identify for the last 40 years.

It was done with such finesse. Bravo to you. What a warm, welcoming individual you have been to so kindly correct a simple misunderstanding of a word heard by a straight male in recent times who didn't gender/gay/pride check it thoroughly before using it. I had incorrectly believed there was a sexuality element attached to the word due to a personal observation seeing the word being used in public.

As I said already, the first line of your response was plenty, but you went on a bit of a flexathon and then declared that you didn't care what a "straight man thinks". You seem to have expanded on that to declare you don't care what straight people think. So, is it just straight peoples thoughts you take issue with, or does it extend to people of faith, or who lean right in politics? Do you regularly dismiss people because of their sexual orientation, or is it just in this thread?

VENEATS · 28-06-2021 7:57pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I'm a fairly straight male myself, so don't dabble much in the world of gay/pride/lgbt/etc. but do some people not use Q as "questioned" or "questioning" or something like that? (as in someone unsure about what they're into?)

Maybe I'm making that up, and it's all in my imagination, but i definitely feel like i've heard it somewhere before.

Technically it can be. It definitely used to be. But questioning is becoming obsolete.

VENEATS · 28-06-2021 8:00pm

Annasopra wrote: »

But the point is its not used in a disrespectful way. Thats not merely just my opinion.

When people dont like the use of the word, for the slur it is, still, to some and it still is used that is disrespect. And that's not opinion.

When people do something knowing it causes hurt to others, that is disrespect.

VENEATS · 28-06-2021 8:02pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

When the knuckle draggers were calling people queer as a pejorative I don't think they were being nuanced as to the exact meaning. So, don't let them continue to have a hold over you. Certainly not to the point of not supporting the community as a whole (per the OP).

While some see LGBT as inclusive enough, others don't. Q doesn't describe you, but neither does the L.

I'm straight (don't like CIS, would never call myself that), when I was growing up, possibly because I was baby faced and didn't dress like 'the hards' I was called gay and a F. I'll admit, this hurt me as a young teenager. But, I only think of those losers when I see posts like this. I'll never like the Neanderthals, but I don't have a negative Pavlovian response to the word gay.

That's fair. So you support the use of the f word? And the problem is unlike L, movements call my relationship (a bi man with a straight woman) Q----. That's the difference, imo.

Q has also become the catch all phrase for the entire community. Rte had a show called Q--- stories. That show wasnt about those who dont fit LGBT. It was about LGBT and Q people.

So would you support those people that called you gay and the f-word now? Today?

VENEATS · 28-06-2021 8:03pm

joeguevara wrote: »

Does the Q generally refer to ‘questioning’ or the controversial descriptor that you refer to?

Generally it's the "reclaimed slur" now opposed to questioning. And whilst I dont particularly like the slur, i especially dont like it when people describe my relationship as such.

VENEATS · 28-06-2021 8:07pm

ELM327 wrote: »

You identify as bi, and theres a B there. Others identify as queer and there's a Q there.

First off the Q can and is being used, by some, as an umbrella term, for all LGBT people. Q... Stories can mean, as per RTE, a story about any member of the LGBT

Secondly Q is used to describe a relationship between a bi man with a straight woman or gay man, or a bi woman with a straight man or lesbian woman.

VENEATS · 28-06-2021 8:08pm

SourSessions wrote: »

I don't think the word queer itself is the problem, it's using it as a catch-all phrase when some people really don't like it or want it used it relation to themselves.

I think that probably sums it up.

ztoical · 28-06-2021 8:48pm

eviltwin wrote: »

A lot of younger people haven’t got the context of it being a slur because they haven’t grown up with it being used that way. And if they feel it represents them so be it. LGBT is very narrow, it doesn’t describe me so I use Q if I ever feel the need to. I’m old enough to remember being called that word as a slur but it’s lost it’s power to hurt now it’s been reclaimed but that’s just me. I can understand why some people don’t like it.

+1 I def found its a much younger generation who feel comfortable using queer to describe themselves. I find its particularly among groups of young people where there is a mix of different orientations and people like to use it as an umbrella group label. I also think many young people are still exploring and aren't as quick to use straight or gay.

I use to use bisexual to describe myself up until a few years ago when I started using queer as I just felt more comfortable with it. It was after reading a comic by queer artist Erika Moen who identified as a Lesbian but then she feel in love and married a man and found herself so conflicted. She didn't like using bisexual, it didn't feel right to her but she clearly couldn't say she was a lesbian nor did she feel straight so she started using queer and I related to her reasoning. To me its a personal thing, I understand the OP has issues with the word but I don't have those same associations and I feel more comfortable with using queer more than bisexual.

VENEATS · 28-06-2021 9:14pm

ztoical wrote: »

+1 I def found its a much younger generation who feel comfortable using queer to describe themselves. I find its particularly among groups of young people where there is a mix of different orientations and people like to use it as an umbrella group label. I also think many young people are still exploring and aren't as quick to use straight or gay.

I use to use bisexual to describe myself up until a few years ago when I started using queer as I just felt more comfortable with it. It was after reading a comic by queer artist Erika Moen who identified as a Lesbian but then she feel in love and married a man and found herself so conflicted. She didn't like using bisexual, it didn't feel right to her but she clearly couldn't say she was a lesbian nor did she feel straight so she started using queer and I related to her reasoning. To me its a personal thing, I understand the OP has issues with the word but I don't have those same associations and I feel more comfortable with using queer more than bisexual.

And if that fits you, fair enough. It doesnt fit me, so why are we using it as both an umbrella term and a term to describe my relationship (bi man with a straight woman).

eviltwin · 28-06-2021 9:15pm

VENEATS wrote: »

And if that fits you, fair enough. It doesnt fit me, so why are we using it as both an umbrella term and a term to describe my relationship (bi man with a straight woman).

Why don’t you describe yourself as Bi then using the B ?

Swindled · 28-06-2021 9:19pm

Wasn't the word Queer reclaimed, like the word Gay, and Nigg3r being reclaimed by African Americans, and the Paddy slur being reclaimed by the Irish

I'm bi and I dont support the LGBTQ movement because I dont like the Q word

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