I'm bi and I dont support the LGBTQ movement because I dont like the Q word

gmisk wrote: »

You're entitled to feel how you want about the word.
Context is key for me, it's not a word I would use personally though.

Absolutely, but the other side is I do want to support LGBTQ people, but not supporting the movement or Stonewall or Pride who do use that word, makes me feel a hypocrite and a traitor. (Maybe not the right word).

gmisk wrote: »

Do you mind that other people identify as the Q word?
As I said I wouldn't use that word myself, I am guessing sub consciously at least it will always generally seem like a slur to me (unless in very certain circumstances).
I think you can support stonewall or pride without being a huge fan of the Q word personally.

Tbh, I dont like the word being used full stop. I think the term genderqueer is ok, perhaps because it's preceded by gender.

But I do see the q word as a slur (even if I know the intent/meaning) and when stonewall uses the word to describe me, i see that as them using that slur. I dont see how I could respect/support them when they dont respect me or my opinion. (Selfish, I know). If I thought LGBT people had an issue with the word bisexual (not the people but the term) I would want it changed.


And just for anyone who does read this. My issue is with the word. I dont dislike the people. I think that is a clear distinction. Normally when I say I dont support pride, people think I'm -phobic in some way.

eviltwin wrote: »

A lot of younger people haven’t got the context of it being a slur because they haven’t grown up with it being used that way. And if they feel it represents them so be it. LGBT is very narrow, it doesn’t describe me so I use Q if I ever feel the need to. I’m old enough to remember being called that word as a slur but it’s lost it’s power to hurt now it’s been reclaimed but that’s just me. I can understand why some people don’t like it.

Thanks for commenting.. my point is if it is too narrow then use a word that broadens it that wasnt a slur. I'm bisexual but I think if some LGBT people had a genuine issue with the term bisexual (because it was used as a slur) I'd want it changed...

I dont like it full stop, but at the very least call yourself the q-word but dont include all of us. (By you, I'm not meaning you personally. You seem very respectful.) My relationship, because I'm bi, is not q. But it is to certain prides and stonewall... I find offence in that. And, to me, (and I know its irrational) people using the q word, to describe me, whether its stonewall or the few dudes jeering outside a pub are all the same.

And I'm not trying to discourage people from living a life that best reflects them. If you dont think the main acronym describes you, I'm all for you finding one that does.

Lastly, the f word, to me, is not as bad as the Q. I still wouldnt call someone that. The p word means nothing at all to me and, yet, I still wouldnt use it.

eviltwin wrote: »

If you’re bisexual you already have representation in the B. I don’t really put a label on myself but I’m not straight or LGBT so I need something that covers me as do all the many other groups out there. If you don’t like Q what do you do? Replace it with something new or just alienate people by leaving it off? I do get what you are saying but it has to represent everyone too.

As per Stonewall UK and many other sources, a bi person in a relationship with a person that is not bi (so either gay, lesbian or straight), which I am, is in a Q relationship. A bi person involved with a bi person is in a bi relationship.

Replace the term, is what I'd expect. I certainly would want to replace the term bisexual, if it offended some LGBT (because they got that as a slur). To me, bisexual is only the term to describe my identity. I could find a new term to express my attraction of both women and men. I accept all people who dont fit the LGBT mould. And I think the addition to the acronym is great to see


In simplest form, if I didnt fit the LGBT acronym nor the Q, I would define my identity or keep it broad but I would never consider calling it the F word or P-word. It's about respect.

When RTE calls it "Queer stories" and they have a bi man recounting his journey, he may be ok with that term but RTE have pushed the idea that calling bi people the Q word is ok?

And I've tried to make clear in every post. When anyone stands up and tells the world who they are, that's a great moment. I fully accept and respect others. I dont think the term is respectful, though.

I used to be very overweight. I had no issue with the word fat. I wouldnt call others fat, though, because I understood the baggage of that term.

And I'm sounding like a right dickhead, but I'm not trying to be, but I have started to really dislike the movements (not the people) because of it.

Heebie wrote: »

Where I grew up... in one of the cradles of the gay rights movement in the united States, the Q stands for "questioning" as in anyone who's bothering to think about their sexuality instead of assuming what it is.

I have no idea who started the whole idea of that meaning "qu***" instead. It's not nearly as poignant.

Still, there's nothing wrong with the 5-letter Q word as long as it's us using it to describe ourselves. For some people, that weird feels more "correct" in describing themselves and how they feel. Condemning the whole movement because some people prefer that word, is disingenuous to all those people, and excludes them from our community. Exclusion is not cool.

I'm not excluding the people. I dont like the term and I think the term should be replaced..

My big issue is these movements (pride, Stonewall etc) would consider my relationship a q one. And when rte have "queer stories" and it's a story about a bi man. I think that gives licence to others to call bi people, like myself, the word too.

iffandonlyif wrote: »

Are we seriously calling it the Q-word?

Yes. That's what I call it, anyway. When you have heard that every day after I came out. E.g. dont be a q---. When I got engaged to a woman last year, my dad said thank god your not a q--- anymore. When I left GAA after coming out because of two team members that used that slur, at me. To the guys outside a pub who jeered the q word at me and my first bf. Throwing the end of pints at us, to intimidating us so much that we power walked as quickly as we could...

So yes, I'll call it the q word. Seriously.

Annasopra wrote: »

I have a lot of memories too. I've more or less let go now though. Thats the thing: the intent in its use by many who describe themselves as queer is never to abuse or insult others.

And that's great that you have let it go. It's not as easy for others, I suppose, like myself.

If no malicious intent was there can people call me the f-word?

Annasopra wrote: »

To be fair people can say whatever they want. For me its about the context of what people say. The meaning of words can have different meanings and contexts.

I never said they couldn't but out of respect I wouldnt use the word f. It's about respect. Are movements being respectful by calling my relationship a word, I think, is a slur. Nope, imo. And i dont know how to support a movement that is, in my view, disrespectful.

...Ghost... wrote: »

It's sh1tty that ignorant @rseholes made your life hard because of your sexual identity. I despise that sort of behaviour.

I agree with you the the Q word is a pretty nasty one and while some have "reclaimed" it, it's not a nice word to use. Does the "+" not cover everything beyond LGBT anyway?

From my own experience LGBT+ seems to be gone. It's usually either LGBTQ+ or LGBTI+.

And I want to reiterate that I dont dislike the people who use the term to describe them. Be whoever you are... but dont call me it. I'm a bi man. When I'm with a woman I'm a bi man in a straight relationship. When I'm with a gay man, I'm in a gay relationship. You would think that would be simple to understand... apparently not. There is huge push to calling it Q relationships.