Ghosted after a few good dates

Feisar wrote: »

But if she's screaming hot... plus the whole "head space" could mean a bit of a header/daddy issues, so one could be in for a good time. I'd say don't expend to much effort but don't shut her out either. And take a valuable lesson from this, no eggs in the one basket. One should have a good few on the go at the one time, often these will be at varying stages of development. So one can have the ones that are good for the ride, a student is good for a weeknight which will quite often leave the weekend free for another one or two. Drinks and ride Fri night, that leaves Sat lunch for a potential GF, (early days women put great store in daytime dates). Sat night then for whatever takes yer fancy, out on the pull the traditional way or maybe a casual meet up for a drink with another one.

Aww Bless!

Look what you can do without any standards.

YellowLead wrote: »

I think if some people have it done to them a few times, then they sort of see it as the normal thing and they carry it on themselves and it’s just gets more and more common. I agree it’s horrible and would never do it, sure all it takes is one quick text ‘im sorry this isn’t for me’ or what have you.

Only time I’ve ever had to block was from an unsolicited dick pic from somebody I never met - and that was deserved!

It would take something just as drastic for me too. Is there an age bracket for this ghosting as I'd imagine any mature adult would have the decency to reply

Hammer89 wrote: »

she blocked him for literally no reason at all or the OP just thinks it's random? We both know the answer.

Didn't OP mention she met someone else?

Hammer89 wrote: »

I don't know. All I know is the man was blocked on Whatsapp and not blocked on Instagram.

And to me that kind of says: "Here, I like you, but I don't like how often you text me, and the more drives we go on, the more we're going to be friends, and I didn't join Tinder to get a new mate. So I'm going to block you from texting me, but I'm not going to block you on Instagram because as I said, I liked you enough to meet you twice in real life and I want you to know this by keeping you unblocked on other platforms. And we're only going on a third date if it's in a restaurant or a pub, but neither of them will be open for a while yet and I know in my heart of hearts that by the time they do open, I won't want to meet you if we continue texting everyday because we'll be friends and as I said, I'm looking for a mate of the other variety."

This is such an open and shut case for me.

This makes zero sense. If she liked him but wanted to wait she would have just said it rather than block him. Who blocks and expects the other to forgive and forget??? If she needs to be wined and dined indoors in order for it to count as a date well what the hell would he want with her anyway!

gary550 wrote: »

All I was pointing out was that telling him to wait like a chump and wine and dine her to try win back her attention is awful advice

I don't care if he waits or not. He can impregnate the whole of Tinder between now and then for all I care. I told him to message her on Instagram when the country opens up again because they were both just treading water in this landscape, with these restrictions. They're both to blame for trying to get into a relationship when there's nothing to do and nowhere to go. What else except this situation could've happened?

Johnnytractors wrote: »

Yes, she is a Irish, west Clare woman and I’m from Cork.

Stick with the Cork women and you will be grand.

Itainire wrote: »

I am a woman in mid 20s. I have gone to over 20 tinder dates in the past years and I am gonna be honest: yes we do sometimes ghost men.
But do men sometimes ghost me? Yeah they do too.
Do I like it? Absolutely not.

Truth is that especially now because of the pandemic and all it's easy to feel lonely and having someone to chat it's just nice.. but unfortunately, often enough it is what it is.. just a way to waste time. Nothing more, not the initial phase of a relationship.

Ugly truth is she probably lost interest and found somebody else more interesting.. in my humble opinion literally forget about her and try find someone else more interesting too.
You have got this! Don't give up dating! You will find your one

While i think ghosting is cowardly and childish - some men do tend to get invested far too soon and read too much into things. I’ve seen it with male friends countless times. Some women just want pen pals, an ego boost, and boredom relief. And I’m sure it works the other way, though I haven’t encountered it on the male side (yet)

Itainire wrote: »

It is indeed cowardly and childish! But let's all admit that getting too attached to a person matched in a dating app isn't too grown-up either. In apps like tinder or bumble you could be talking at 10-15 people in one day. You say women want pen pals? Why didn't this person asked her out much earlier than talking for weeks? Perhaps she thought he wanted a pen pal! It goes both ways around!
Don't get me wrong this way of ghosting just blocking wherever it's very weird.. normally they just take longer to open the text longer to reply and slowly disappear lol

Dating isn't easy for women either.

It is easier for you if you're talking to 10-15 a day. Twould be hard but probably not impossible for me to find 15 a day but would take a lot of effort and sending a lot of messages that go unanswered. Whereas with you they probably come flying in the door to you and most would be willing to meet up for a shaggeen at fairly short notice. The numbers are definitely in your favour. Out of my 15 i'll probably get at least 10 who eventually become ghosters

Itainire wrote: »

But let's all admit that getting too attached to a person matched in a dating app isn't too grown-up either.

Not necessarily. Like someone else mentioned, if you haven't been on a date or in a relationship for awhile I can imagine its easy to get your hopes up but that's not to say you're immature

raclle wrote: »

Not necessarily. Like someone else mentioned, if you haven't been on a date or in a relationship for awhile I can imagine its easy to get your hopes up but that's not to say you're immature

Maybe not immature, just inexperienced.
You have to have your head screwed on when dating...otherwise you are setting yourself up for upset like what happened OP. Something tells me he has learned though.

I have an analogy. I am using the word 'man' because the OP is male, before anyone gets offended.

A man goes into a bar some night to socialise. He walks in, sits down and orders a pint. He feels a bit awkward. The bar tender isn't talking to him and the atmosphere isn't too good. He knocks back the pint fairly fast because he feels uncomfortable and gets out of there.
Then he goes to another bar, he gets chatting to the barman and a regular and ends up having a few drinks but then the bar gets busier and he starts to think maybe I should head off.
He finds another bar after walking around for a small bit and he sits at the counter. Everyone in there except the odd few seem to be having a good night. He orders his drink and gets chatting to a couple of people. The drinks starts flowing, the barman remembers his drink, people are chatting away about this and that. He relaxes and ends up there for the night, even might have stayed after time.
He wakes up the next day, he might have a bit of a sore head but what he remembers is the last bar, the banter, the general ambience and feels it was worth it after all.
He won't go back to the first bar ever again, the second bar, maybe he might have one in there if stuck and the final bar he would gladly drink in there as much as he could because he felt wanted and at ease there.

So basically that what it is like with dates. They won't always work and you have to keep trying to find that bar you can chill out in.



(Corny? Deal with it)

Surreptitious wrote: »

I have an analogy. I am using the word 'man' because the OP is male, before anyone gets offended.

A man goes into a bar some night to socialise. He walks in, sits down and orders a pint. He feels a bit awkward. The bar tender isn't talking to him and the atmosphere isn't too good. He knocks back the pint fairly fast because he feels uncomfortable and gets out of there.
Then he goes to another bar, he gets chatting to the barman and a regular and ends up having a few drinks but then the bar gets busier and he starts to think maybe I should head off.
He finds another bar after walking around for a small bit and he sits at the counter. Everyone in there except the odd few seem to be having a good night. He orders his drink and gets chatting to a couple of people. The drinks starts flowing, the barman remembers his drink, people are chatting away about this and that. He relaxes and ends up there for the night, even might have stayed after time.
He wakes up the next day, he might have a bit of a sore head but what he remembers is the last bar, the banter, the general ambience and feels it was worth it after all.
He won't go back to the first bar ever again, the second bar, maybe he might have one in there if stuck and the final bar he would gladly drink in there as much as he could because he felt wanted and at ease there.

So basically that what it is like with dates. They won't always work and you have to keep trying to find that bar you can chill out in.



(Corny? Deal with it)

Wait, so goldilocks was a dude and the beds were bars and the porridges were pints?!

Suddenly it all makes sense!

I just knew a family of bears would never get planning permission for a house in a woods.

Found this on reddit