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Ruining a wedding

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    #212
    gmisk
    Registered Users Posts: 31,849 ✭✭✭✭gmisk


    Mister Vain wrote: »
    I was at a wedding where some guy spent about 40 mins just talking about the history of the hotel. It's the oldest hotel in Ireland apparently. Who gives a fook.
    Ha ha
    ....Its Irelands biggest lingerie department vibes...

    Exactly


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    #213
    Mister Vain
    Registered Users Posts: 6,040 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    gmisk wrote: »
    I got married in registry office two witnesses, one other friend came along to take pictures, lovely posh dinner in shanahans, cocktails booked in nice hotel after that. Went to a gig that night. Stayed in the marker for it all day or two before and after.
    We headed away on small holiday to Vienna two days after.
    Zero stress, had a brilliant day, got to splash on nice suits, meals the whole time, hotel etc.

    Only issue was covid put the cabosh on our big actual official honeymoon to Italy, but hey hopefully next year! We still have credit in the hotel at lake gardai.
    That's what you want. I don't think I could deal with the stress of being a groom or best man at a traditional wedding.


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    #214
    gmisk
    Registered Users Posts: 31,849 ✭✭✭✭gmisk


    Mister Vain wrote: »
    That's what you want. I don't think I could deal with the stress of being a groom or best man at a traditional wedding.
    That's it exactly.
    Had an absolutely brilliant time.

    I honestly am not sure people really like going to a big wedding anyway tbh, the cost, the stress, the hangovers, the fact they run for multiple days now seemingly etc. I know I generally don't!


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    #215
    facehugger99
    Registered Users Posts: 7,220 ✭✭✭facehugger99


    Never been to a wedding that was ruined.

    I once ended up beside some guy I barely knew, he spent most of the meal talking about people he knew that had either died or contracted some illness. A total misery-junkie.

    'It's a friend's wedding - cheer up you miserable prick', is what I thought to myself.

    I was glad when the meal/speeches were over and I could get away from him.


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    #216
    ShyMets
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,469 ✭✭✭ShyMets


    gmisk wrote: »
    That's it exactly.
    Had an absolutely brilliant time.

    I honestly am not sure people really like going to a big wedding anyway tbh, the cost, the stress, the hangovers, the fact they run for multiple days now seemingly etc. I know I generally don't!

    100%. A friend of mine compares getting a wedding invite to getting a summons in the post


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    #217
    gmisk
    Registered Users Posts: 31,849 ✭✭✭✭gmisk


    facehugger99 wrote: »
    Never been to a wedding that was ruined.

    I once ended up beside some guy I barely knew, he spent most of the meal talking about people he knew that had either died or contracted some illness. A total misery-junkie.

    'It's a friend's wedding - cheer up you miserable prick', is what I thought to myself.

    I was glad when the meal/speeches were over and I could get away from him.
    You sat beside Joe Duffy?!


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    #218
    Porklife
    Registered Users Posts: 1,681 ✭✭✭Porklife


    gmisk wrote: »
    I got married in registry office two witnesses, one other friend came along to take pictures, lovely posh dinner in shanahans, cocktails booked in nice hotel after that. Went to a gig that night. Stayed in the marker for it all day or two before and after.
    We headed away on small holiday to Vienna two days after.
    Zero stress, had a brilliant day, got to splash on nice suits, meals the whole time, hotel etc.

    Only issue was covid put the cabosh on our big actual official honeymoon to Italy, but hey hopefully next year! We still have credit in the hotel at lake gardai.

    Boooo.. we only wanna hear the trainwreck stories! :p
    Your wedding sounds awesome tbh and it's exactly how I'd want mine :)

    I was at the wedding of a childhood friend and the bestman was a mutual childhood friend who is notoriously clumsy and a bit of a loveable fool. He opened his speech by saying
    "I'm sure im not the only one here today surprised to see X getting married..let's face it, we all know he's secretly gay!"
    An awkward silence followed as he chuckled to himself oblivious and continued with "..well I got to say i knew it to his uncle Peter when I found them kissing behind the church!" After filthy looks from the bride and groom he fumbled through the rest of the speech before sitting down and missing his chair causing a huge commontion of cutlery and glasses to crash to the floor.


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    #219
    Ferris_Bueller
    Registered Users Posts: 5,468 ✭✭✭Ferris_Bueller


    The first wedding I went to was quite a young wedding, bride and groom both early 20s, youngish crowd at the wedding, best man was early 20s and I'd say the bridesmaid was still a teenager. People were getting fairly drunk and it just had a bit of a hectic feeling in general. Best man got up to make his speech and he was locked. He cracked a few slightly inappropriate jokes throughout but then he said something about the bride being 'sloppy seconds' as it was the best man who was going out with her first before she started seeing the groom. It didn't ruin the wedding but there was a bit of a weird feeling in the room that they just wanted the speeches to end ASAP.


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    #220
    Ash.J.Williams
    Registered Users Posts: 20,929 ✭✭✭✭Ash.J.Williams


    Royale with Cheese wrote: »
    I'm getting married next week, with a grand total of six guests. Fúcking delighted about it to be honest, even before reading this thread :-)

    That’s what I’m aiming for this summer :)


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    #221
    partyguinness
    Registered Users Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭partyguinness


    There was been three weddings in my family (myself and 2 sisters) and in three different countries. Absolutely eff all drama.

    The biggest drama was my 10 year old nephew gorging on sweets and puking into a jug on the table. Rock and roll..

    Oh yeah and I snogged a random girl the night before my wedding out late with the lads...they physically dragged me away back to the hotel before I escalated matters. Waking up the morning of my wedding next to a one night stand would have been bad form..in my defence she was absolutely stunning.


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    #222
    Ash.J.Williams
    Registered Users Posts: 20,929 ✭✭✭✭Ash.J.Williams


    Ferris_Bueller wrote: »
    The first wedding I went to was quite a young wedding, bride and groom both early 20s, youngish crowd at the wedding, best man was early 20s and I'd say the bridesmaid was still a teenager. People were getting fairly drunk and it just had a bit of a hectic feeling in general. Best man got up to make his speech and he was locked. He cracked a few slightly inappropriate jokes throughout but then he said something about the bride being 'sloppy seconds' as it was the best man who was going out with her first before she started seeing the groom. It didn't ruin the wedding but there was a bit of a weird feeling in the room that they just wanted the speeches to end ASAP.

    Sloppy seconds as a phrase is like MILF , it’s bandied about in the vernacular without any thought of what it means


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    #223
    celt262
    Registered Users Posts: 3,374 ✭✭✭celt262


    A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »
    In fairness, he may have had a point?

    All our home videos from the 1990s involve kids zooming-in on a pair of an aunt's breasts (???) or someone's arse, and the sound of howling laughter. Even now when i find an old tape, I think to myself "oh this will probably be just a video of the aunts' tits" (or whatever). So bizarre.

    Can you send them onto me please :pac:


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    #224
    partyguinness
    Registered Users Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭partyguinness


    Actually I was at a same sex wedding a few years back. Two ladies (one was the daughter of a very good long stadning friend of my wife). TBH the two women were/are rough as a badger's ass and the family of one was dog rough. A lot of mullets, jewellery and tattoos on show and that was just the guys.

    Two heavily overweight and heavily tatooed women kissing in reality was not all that good...

    It was so bad that I ended up having a good time. I even emptied the bar of it's only bottle of Jameson. Ended up drinking Famous Grouse with one of the bride's 90 year old grandfather.


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    #225
    ontour2
    Registered Users Posts: 133 ✭✭ontour2


    ..from behind the bar

    The wedding band went to the wrong hotel which was a 2.5 hour drive away. Luckily uncle Tommy brought in his guitar to break the silence and was doing well. A bit of Neil Diamond and all that. As time was ticking on, encouraged by the guests, they decided to do the first dance. Unfortunately this startled Tommy a bit and he went to his safe place and passionately sang a Wolfe Tones famine ballad. The groom was no dancer so they had gone for dance lessons and perfected a waltz. I am guessing that the dance teacher had never used a Wolfe Tones ballad in any of the classes. Queue the most awkward 8 minutes of his life.
    Usually other guests would get up to dance with them and save their blushes but it was a challenge that not even the bridemaids were willing to take on.
    For the punch line, after the 16 verses of starvation, potatoes, beatings and death, we decided it was a good time to bring out the evening sandwiches and cocktail sausages. Band arrived and brought it back on track. Poor auld groom was still shook 5 hours later in the residents bar as he begged for the videos of the first dance to be deleted.


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    #226
    Ludikrus
    Registered Users Posts: 468 ✭✭Ludikrus


    A wedding I was at went off without a hitch and so did the reception. It was a really lovely upmarket hotel/lodge setup. Then, at about 5AM two guys smoking a spliff set off a fire alarm and the place had to be evacuated. Bride & groom, parents, everyone outside, half dressed and wrecked.


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    #227
    Sebastian Dangerfield
    Registered Users Posts: 1,793 ✭✭✭Sebastian Dangerfield


    ShyMets wrote: »
    100%. A friend of mine compares getting a wedding invite to getting a summons in the post

    I've felt like that at times - once had 6 weddings in 9 weeks, 2 abroad - but what I'd do for a wedding invite now!


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    #228
    partyguinness
    Registered Users Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭partyguinness


    Sebastian Dangerfield wrote: »
    I've felt like that at times - once had 6 weddings in 9 weeks, 2 abroad - but what I'd do for a wedding invite now!


    or like receiving an invoice. TBH it won't be long before we are attending more funerals than weddings in a year so enjoy it.


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    #229
    blackwhite
    Registered Users Posts: 8,488 ✭✭✭blackwhite


    Wasn't a guest at the wedding, but a few years ago we were staying in a large hotel where a wedding was on the same day. Bank holiday weekend and the wedding was the Saturday and they had also booked a day 2 for the Sunday with BBQ outside etc.

    When we went for breakfast on the Sunday morning, there were groups in tears in the hotel reception, in the breakfast room etc.
    Turns out that overnight one of the guests had wandered out into the road on his way back to a B&B, and been killed by a passing car.

    We'd our dinner booked in the hotel for that night, and some of the wedding guests who had planned to stay for the day 2 were still there. Really sombre mood in the hotel for the day


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    #230
    Mr Magnolia
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 10,429 Mod ✭✭✭✭Mr Magnolia


    I've one, as is often the case, the bride and bridesmaid were sisters sitting on the top table. The best man happened to be going with the bridesmaid too. Father of the bride had passed away before the two boys even met the girls.
    Speeches kick off and the best man naturally paid tribute to the two girls deceased Dad "let's take a minute to remember Aoife and Deirdre's sadly deceased Dad, it's a great shame he never had the opportunity to meet the lads that broke in his two daughters!"


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    #231
    Pinch Flat
    Registered Users Posts: 7,761 ✭✭✭Pinch Flat


    I went to a wedding about 15 years ago. Groom was a bit of a lad. As part of his speech he asked all the ladies he'd shagged to drop up copies of keys to his front door to the top table. About 10 or so ladies stood up, went up kissed him on the cheek and handed him a door key. Groom ended up having an affair soon after they were married an they were separated soon after.


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    #232
    TheBoyConor
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,292 ✭✭✭TheBoyConor


    Wow. Classy joke. And weren't the women even worse that they went along with it🙈🙈


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    #233
    odyssey06
    Registered Users Posts: 27,920 ✭✭✭✭odyssey06


    TheBoyConor wrote: »
    Wow. Classy joke. And weren't the women even worse that they went along with it🙈🙈

    And did the Groom end up back with one of them after the separation I wonder...

    "To follow knowledge like a sinking star..." (Tennyson's Ulysses)



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    #234
    partyguinness
    Registered Users Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭partyguinness


    Pinch Flat wrote: »
    I went to a wedding about 15 years ago. Groom was a bit of a lad. As part of his speech he asked all the ladies he'd shagged to drop up copies of keys to his front door to the top table. About 10 or so ladies stood up, went up kissed him on the cheek and handed him a door key. Groom ended up having an affair soon after they were married an they were separated soon after.


    What a wanker...


    I must the only guy in the world that is not in contact with any exs...


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    #235
    CoBo55
    Registered Users Posts: 8,764 ✭✭✭CoBo55


    Wanderer78 wrote: »
    best of luck, perfect wedding in my eyes

    Perfect funeral too... Less chance for bull****.


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    #236
    Lisha
    Registered Users Posts: 8,693 ✭✭✭Lisha


    TheBoyConor wrote: »
    Wow. Classy joke. And weren't the women even worse that they went along with it🙈🙈

    That ‘joke’ turns my stomach.. really hideous thing to do in my opinion.


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    #237
    partyguinness
    Registered Users Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭partyguinness


    The best tactic is to get the speeches over and done with before the meal start.

    At least then the speakers can actually enjoy the food and relax.


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    #238
    Jimmy Bottlehead
    Registered Users Posts: 10,118 ✭✭✭✭Jimmy Bottlehead


    TheBoyConor wrote: »

    Still, mortified for him.. Imagine being a man bawling like that in front of a whole church. You'd look ridiculous. Take it on the chin and keep yourself together ffs.

    Off-topic, but had to address this.

    It's absolute nonsense, expecting men to just "take it on the chin and keep yourself together." Men experience emotions too, and I'd be more surprised if a groom who had been stood up on the day, just blankly accepted it. It's HEALTHY to express what you're feeling, especially in a horrible situation like that.

    I think you might want to take a look at your aversion to male expressions of emotion, and stop stigmatising it for others.


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    #239
    blackwhite
    Registered Users Posts: 8,488 ✭✭✭blackwhite


    partyguinness wrote: »
    The best tactic is to get the speeches over and done with before the meal start.

    At least then the speakers can actually enjoy the food and relax.


    Also helps to keep the speeches shorter, as hotel will usually impose a time limit for the food


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    #240
    Mango Joe
    Registered Users Posts: 1,179 ✭✭✭Mango Joe


    Royale with Cheese wrote: »
    I'm getting married next week, with a grand total of six guests. Fúcking delighted about it to be honest, even before reading this thread :-)

    I don't know....... If this thread has taught us anything it is that it only takes a single guest to carry out each of the below wedding atrocities:
    1. Running off with the Bride leaving the Groom confused somewhere.
    2. Punch the Best Man/Groom/Bride.
    3. Shawshank poop the entire hotel.
    4. Make long racist and homophobic speeches.
    5. Father of Bride making it clear the wedding is a disaster.
    6. Bridesmaid who'll try and shag the Groom.

    I've numbered them from 1-6 to make it easier for you to assess - If you're unsure I'd recommend favouring option no. 6.








    * Only joking - congratulations to you both, I hope you've a really great day.


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    #241
    cj maxx
    Registered Users Posts: 13,376 ✭✭✭✭cj maxx


    One way to ruin a wedding is to have multiple multiple people giving speeches. Groom, father in law , best man then sit the feck down.


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