Family trying to visit

Marty1983 · 01-04-2021 3:10pm #1

Thanks.

Away With The Fairies · 01-04-2021 3:13pm

I agree with you. It's not worth the risk. We're not that long away from vaccines, so I wish people would have more cop on.

Oranage2 · 01-04-2021 3:16pm

Happy wife = Happy life

Definitely not unreasonable, perhaps telling your wife that it will only be a few more months that you'd rather be safe than sorry.

Baybay · 01-04-2021 3:18pm

Not unreasonable, in my opinion.

Illness is one thing. Long Covid another. If there was no risk of death, then maybe I’d think differently but it’s not possible to determine the outcome.

BlaktainPicard · 01-04-2021 3:19pm

Marty1983 wrote: »

Folks am i being unreasonable here?

We had a new baby a few weeks ago and my in-laws have visited twice (over 150km) but stayed outside (At my insistence)

Both of them have been vaccinated but work in a health care setting. There other children who they live with seem to do their own thing including one of them who is ignoring any and all restrictions that dont suit him.

I dont want them to visit again until its legal and recommended.

Neither of us or our children are vaccinated and i am being painted as the bad guy for saying no. I am just trying to both follow guidelines and keep my family safe. If any of us got sick from one of these visits id never forgive myself. My wife is happy to assume the risk but i am not.

Pretty sure this is a poor effort at trolling but if not -
You are part of the problem why this lunacy is continuing , what do you mean keeping your family safe ??

The situation above is ZERO risk.

If the govt told you to wear a plastic bag over yoyur head would you ?

Sadly I think you would, while clapping along thinking it's for the best and will end soon ...

HOLD FIRM ...

ALL IN THIS TOGETHER ... etc ...

BobbyBolivia · 01-04-2021 3:19pm

They are vaccinated. What is the issue exactly?

Not to mention that your children would be more likely to die in a car accident than from Covid.

I genuinely cannot get over what Covid and the media have done to people in this country when a pair of vaccinated grandparents cannot hold their grandchild.

01-04-2021 3:21pm

If they are both vaccinated then how will the risk suddenly vanish when the guidelines are changed? If they infect you then you are screwed anyway when society reopens.

The children are another story, for sure don't let them in.

Other than that I agree with your wife and her family here.

JMNolan · 01-04-2021 3:24pm

What's the point of the vaccine if we can't meet our family?

01-04-2021 3:24pm

Baybay wrote: »

Not unreasonable, in my opinion.

Illness is one thing. Long Covid another. If there was no risk of death, then maybe I’d think differently but it’s not possible to determine the outcome.

THEY ARE VACCINATED ..... JESUS WEPT ....

And guess what .... when restrictions are lifted it's still not possible to determine the outcome ... when you get your vaccine shot it's not possible to determine the outcome - you could be one of those people that die of a blood clot or anaphylactic shock.

So many people fail to understand risk analysis.

touts · 01-04-2021 3:24pm

Next time they are coming make a discreet call to the local garda station and report them.

Mrs OBumble · 01-04-2021 3:26pm

Away With The Fairies wrote: »

I agree with you. It's not worth the risk. We're not that long away from vaccines, so I wish people would have more cop on.

The in-laws are already vaccinated though.

OP are your other children old enough to be helpful, or is your wife stuck at home with three under 4s (or whatever).

Do you or your wife have any underlying conditions which would make you covid-19 vulnerable? If not, have you thought hard about the actual risk vs just waiting to do what the government says? Because the government saying "you can visit" doesn't actually reduce that much, especially if the in-laws work in healthcare - there are a whole range of bugs they could bring with them.

caveat emptor · 01-04-2021 3:26pm

Marty1983 wrote: »

Folks am i being unreasonable here?

We had a new baby a few weeks ago and my in-laws have visited twice (over 150km) but stayed outside (At my insistence)

Both of them have been vaccinated but work in a health care setting. There other children who they live with seem to do their own thing including one of them who is ignoring any and all restrictions that dont suit him.

I dont want them to visit again until its legal and recommended.

Neither of us or our children are vaccinated and i am being painted as the bad guy for saying no. I am just trying to both follow guidelines and keep my family safe. If any of us got sick from one of these visits id never forgive myself. My wife is happy to assume the risk but i am not.

Just heard off a friend in her early 30s there who had covid in Jan who had to go back to doctor.

She described it like a flu but her legs have hurt since. Went to a doctor and eventually specialist. She's just been told she'll have to wear ridiculously thick tights for the indefinite future due to varicose veins.

Mad auld disease this thing.

01-04-2021 3:26pm

Tyrone212 wrote: »

They should stop being selfish and causing issues between you and your wife and know to just wait a little while until things change. They've already seen the baby twice and now how you feel about it. They should just bleep off and have some respect at this point.

Whether they come or don't the issues are there now. And they have seen the baby from outside through a window

The normal "the man is controlling" feminist replies are notably absent here for some reason ...

landofthetree · 01-04-2021 3:27pm

Healthcare workers should know better.

01-04-2021 3:28pm

touts wrote: »

Next time they are coming make a discreet call to the local garda station and report them.

For people asking how did Nazi Germany happen .... since COVID hit we now know.

01-04-2021 3:29pm

You are not clear op in what the issue is with the in laws. Is everyone annoyed because they cant come into the house and/or hold the baby? Or are you trying to stop the visits full stop?

If its the first one, then I would say hold firm but be tactful. They are grandparents and those can get a bit unreasonable around the birth of a new grandkid. They want to see the kid and shower it with love, you want to protect all concerned. Be tactful and explain everything to them, they should come aaround

If its the second one, you can ask them to stop visiting, but if they wish to risk fines to come 150km and stand outside the house and stay 2 meters away from you and your family, yeah thats not worth fighting to be honest. So long as the physical distance is maintained. That part I would not bend one inch on

01-04-2021 3:29pm

Do people not realise we are never going to open with the attitudes shown here?

It's frightening how inhuman some people are. I actually thought the OP was trolling but now not so sure.

Effects · 01-04-2021 3:31pm

touts wrote: »

Next time they are coming make a discreet call to the local garda station and report them.

Gardaí don't really care, and probably won't do anything about it.

xhomelezz · 01-04-2021 3:32pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

For people asking how did Nazi Germany happen .... since COVID hit we now know.

Looks like you missed good few classes of history for sure.

Mrs OBumble · 01-04-2021 3:33pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

The normal "the man is controlling" feminist replies are notably absent here for some reason ...

They ain't, see my question about how many small children the wife is expected to care for. I have more in the wings if he misses the point

Antares35 · 01-04-2021 3:33pm

Agree with you 100percent. We had our baby in May and didn't have any visiting for the first ten weeks. Remember too all the sacrifices that pregnant women have made and continue to make e.g. attending antenatal appointments alone, uncertainty as to whether the birth partner would even be present since they were only allowed in for "active labour", no visiting etc. We made all these personal sacrifices for the safety of ourselves, our babies, other mothers and babies and healthcare staff in the maternity hospitals. I felt very strongly that in this context, after sacrificing so much, it would be insulting for relatives to then just assume they could take liberties because they want to see the baby.

Antares35 · 01-04-2021 3:36pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

For people asking how did Nazi Germany happen .... since COVID hit we now know.

I think it was a joke

Edit: I...hope it was a joke!

BlaktainPicard · 01-04-2021 3:36pm

BobbyBolivia wrote: »

They are vaccinated. What is the issue exactly?

Not to mention that your children would be more likely to die in a car accident than from Covid.

I genuinely cannot get over what Covid and the media have done to people in this country when a pair of vaccinated grandparents cannot hold their grandchild.

Exactly, people that were disparaged for saying Covid is just a flu - fair enough, but actually for kids, it's actually true, in fact it's less damaging than flu for kids.

it's incredible the fear the media have created, people genuinely think it's dangerous to step outside it seems ... especially if it's 5.00000001KM from your house

01-04-2021 3:36pm

xhomelezz wrote: »

Looks like you missed good few classes of history for sure.

Read this and then tell me there aren't scary parallels with what's happening today

https://press.uchicago.edu/Misc/Chicago/511928.html

People ratting on their neighbours, the army interning people at the airport, police checkpoints everywhere, priests prevented from saying mass, an unelected medical body ruling the country by diktat, protests banned, RTE not correcting blatant falsehoods like George Lee claiming that pubs and restaurants are the main spreaders of COVID a few days ago .... and at least half the replies saying it's reasonable that two vaccinated grandparents can't see their new grandchild.

Marty1983 · 01-04-2021 3:38pm

So the grandparents visiting is not to help around the house etc, just to see and coo over children. I work from home and do the majority of housework etc.

It’s not that I’m being inhuman, I genuinely believe that rules are the same for everyone, it’s not an example I want to set for the kids that your grandparents can do what they want.

If they want to risk fines etc I am happy for them to visit as long as They stay outside and keep their 2m.

BlaktainPicard · 01-04-2021 3:39pm

Antares35 wrote: »

I think it was a joke

Edit: I...hope it was a joke!

Whether it was or not , the point still stands, lots of people of this opinion ...

01-04-2021 3:39pm

Deleted User wrote: »

For people asking how did Nazi Germany happen .... since COVID hit we now know.

Congrats on proving Godwins Law

Tacitus Kilgore · 01-04-2021 3:40pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Read this and then tell me there aren't scary parallels with what's happening today

https://press.uchicago.edu/Misc/Chicago/511928.html

You're going to have nothing to talk about when the vaccine ends covid.

You probably won't even stick around to acknowledge how wrong you were.

Away With The Fairies · 01-04-2021 3:40pm

BobbyBolivia wrote: »

They are vaccinated. What is the issue exactly?

Not to mention that your children would be more likely to die in a car accident than from Covid.

I genuinely cannot get over what Covid and the media have done to people in this country when a pair of vaccinated grandparents cannot hold their grandchild.

The in laws are vaccinated. Not the OP or wife.

Antares35 · 01-04-2021 3:43pm

BlaktainPicard wrote: »

Whether it was or not , the point still stands, lots of people of this opinion ...

Calling the guards on grandparents??

xhomelezz · 01-04-2021 3:43pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Read this and then tell me there aren't scary parallels with what's happening today

https://press.uchicago.edu/Misc/Chicago/511928.html

Just don't get comparing any of this shīt to nazi shīt. Way out of the line imo.

01-04-2021 3:43pm

Away With The Fairies wrote: »

The in laws are vaccinated. Not the OP or wife.

It is also yet to be proven one way or the other as to whether vaccinated people can still tranmit covid

BobbyBolivia · 01-04-2021 3:45pm

Marty1983 wrote: »

So the grandparents visiting is not to help just to see and coo over children. I work from home and so the vast majority of housework etc.

It’s not that I’m being inhuman, I genuinely believe that rules are the same for everyone, it’s not an example I want to set for the kids that your grandparents can do what they want.

If they want to risk fines etc I am happy for them to visit as long as They stay outside and keep their 2m.

I'm not sure if your baby will be old enough for the life lesson to sink in.

Whatever lesson you are trying to teach anyway? Ignore the evidence regarding the effectiveness of vaccine in massively reducing transmission, ignore the evidence of how the virus is a non-event for virtually all children, and assume that every government decision is completely sound - when we have decades of evidence that the government has been wrong more often than not.

The childs grandparents are vaccinated. This is absurd stuff.

01-04-2021 3:46pm

Tacitus Kilgore wrote: »

You're going to have nothing to talk about when the vaccine ends covid.

You probably won't even stick around to acknowledge how wrong you were.

IF. COVID has shown us our constitution isn't worth the paper it's written on.

xhomelezz · 01-04-2021 3:46pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

It is also yet to be proven one way or the other as to whether vaccinated people can still tranmit covid

Good reason for to wait another bit I think

01-04-2021 3:47pm

Deleted User wrote: »

IF. COVID has shown us our constitution isn't worth the paper it's written on.

Its the grandparents visiting, a bit of perspective there, ya

01-04-2021 3:49pm

xhomelezz wrote: »

Just don't get comparing any of this shīt to nazi shīt. Way out of the line imo.

The only difference so far is that we think the government have our best interests at heart. That's it. They have taken away basic freedoms more easily and quickly than the nazis did. I've read extensively on the subject and it's the banality of the whole thing that is so frightening. Exactly stuff like this.

As Voltaire said “Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.” And this is an absurdity.

I'm not suggesting this is some sort of Fourth Reich, just that all the building blocks are already in place for anyone to use the same methods in the future.

Tacitus Kilgore · 01-04-2021 3:51pm

Deleted User wrote: »

IF. COVID has shown us our constitution isn't worth the paper it's written on.

I said when.

Let's meet back here in a year and see who's wrong, and just how wrong they are

Baggly · 01-04-2021 3:54pm

BlaktainPicard wrote: »

Pretty sure this is a poor effort at trolling but if not -
You are part of the problem why this lunacy is continuing , what do you mean keeping your family safe ??

The situation above is ZERO risk.

If the govt told you to wear a plastic bag over yoyur head would you ?

Sadly I think you would, while clapping along thinking it's for the best and will end soon ...

HOLD FIRM ...

ALL IN THIS TOGETHER ... etc ...

Mod

Stay out of this thread. Thanks.

01-04-2021 3:55pm

Tacitus Kilgore wrote: »

I said when.

Let's meet back here in a year and see who's wrong, and just how wrong they are

In a year we'll be back here and most likely most of the restrictions will have been lifted. However there might be a flu resurgence and then we will be masked up, socially distanced etc again. Let's assume they don't.

Our economy will be in an utter mess and taxes and austerity will have skyrocketed.

We will have thousands of excess deaths from untreated and undiagnosed cancer, stroke, heart disease, diabetes etc - but there will be no daily NPHET meetings and stats for them.

Our health service will be in ruins despite record spending even for them.

That's the best case scenario and is entirely predictable.

xhomelezz · 01-04-2021 3:56pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

The only difference so far is that we think the government have our best interests at heart. That's it. They have taken away basic freedoms more easily and quickly than the nazis did. I've read extensively on the subject and it's the banality of the whole thing that is so frightening. Exactly stuff like this.

As Voltaire said “Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.” And this is an absurdity.

I'm not suggesting this is some sort of Fourth Reich, just that all the building blocks are already in place for anyone to use the same methods in the future.

Mentioning absurdities...

Atlantic Dawn · 01-04-2021 3:58pm

I'd see nothing wrong with them coming up, their own risk if they are fined but I'd not let them inside the house or within 2 metres, especially with a newborn baby. A positive Covid test will stay with the baby their entire life for life insurance declarations etc.

Tacitus Kilgore · 01-04-2021 3:59pm

Deleted User wrote: »

In a year we'll be back here and most likely most of the restrictions will have been lifted. However there might be a flu resurgence and then we will be masked up, socially distanced etc again. Let's assume they don't.

Our economy will be in an utter mess and taxes and austerity will have skyrocketed.

We will have thousands of excess deaths from untreated and undiagnosed cancer, stroke, heart disease, diabetes etc - but there will be no daily NPHET meetings and stats for them.

Our health service will be in ruins despite record spending even for them.

That's the best case scenario and is entirely predictable.

right, so it's gone from the fourth reich, to never ending restrictions, to economic turmoil in 3 posts.

Take a break there champ.

JPup · 01-04-2021 4:01pm

Honestly, I think you are being completely unreasonable. The risk presented by two fully vaccinated adults is tiny. The emotional strain you are putting on your family is significant. I think you are seriously misjudging the situation.

Mrsmum · 01-04-2021 4:01pm

I suppose my question is what value do their visits bring to your wife. For alot of women, there's no one like their own mam and dad after having the baby. Is your wife happy either way, seeing them or not or is she on the side of wanting them around ?

Baggly · 01-04-2021 4:02pm

Deleted User wrote: »

In a year we'll be back here and most likely most of the restrictions will have been lifted. However there might be a flu resurgence and then we will be masked up, socially distanced etc again. Let's assume they don't.

Our economy will be in an utter mess and taxes and austerity will have skyrocketed.

We will have thousands of excess deaths from untreated and undiagnosed cancer, stroke, heart disease, diabetes etc - but there will be no daily NPHET meetings and stats for them.

Our health service will be in ruins despite record spending even for them.

That's the best case scenario and is entirely predictable.

Mod

Substantiate ANY of this or stay out of this thread.

Away With The Fairies · 01-04-2021 4:03pm

JPup wrote: »

Honestly, I think you are being completely unreasonable. The risk presented by two fully vaccinated adults is tiny. The emotional strain you are putting on your family is significant. I think you are seriously misjudging the situation.

But it's four adults in a house and only two of them vaccinated?

JPup · 01-04-2021 4:07pm

Away With The Fairies wrote: »

But it's four adults in a house and only two of them vaccinated?

Yes, but the other two are one family unit. So where is the risk? Vaccinated people are very unlikely to contract or spread Covid-19. That's the whole point of the vaccine.

Atlantic Dawn · 01-04-2021 4:11pm

JPup wrote: »

Yes, but the other two are one family unit. So where is the risk? Vaccinated people are very unlikely to contract or spread Covid-19. That's the whole point of the vaccine.

The whole point of the vaccines is to limit the damage the virus will do to those infected with it. "Very unlikely" hasn't been quantified yet.

M_Murphy57 · 01-04-2021 4:15pm

BobbyBolivia wrote: »

They are vaccinated. What is the issue exactly?

Not to mention that your children would be more likely to die in a car accident than from Covid.

I genuinely cannot get over what Covid and the media have done to people in this country when a pair of vaccinated grandparents cannot hold their grandchild.

+1

Let your vaccinated in laws see their grandchild for the love of God.

If they are vaccinated and you dont have any of the known risk factors (+65, BMI +40, untreated diabetes) the risks are negligible.

I presume you dont worry about contracting mumps or polio from them - or other diseases they are vaccinated against? Why would would you worry about contracting a disease they statistically cant have? *

Also "essential childcare" is an allowed reason for travel. The 5km rule is for exercise (and an arbitrary rule with no basis in risk prevention)

Turn off RTE and let the baby meet its grandparents.

*I'm not interested in unscientific responses along the lines of "but the vaccine doesnt mean your vaccinated ya know". Yes, it does mean you are vaccinated.

JPup · 01-04-2021 4:15pm

Well the risk of a vaccinated couple visiting is certainly lower than if either of the parents go to the local shops to buy messages, since they are full of people yet to be vaccinated. Is the opening poster shunning all contact outside of their household - only having goods delivered to the door and otherwise staying well away from people? I mean if you are at that level of risk aversion, then fair enough. But I don't think it is reasonable or rational not to allow the in-laws to visit in this case where they have been vaccinated.

Family trying to visit

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